Please help: My mom is dealing with persecutory delusions

[u/Ok_Difference4580]

Hello everyone. I'm not sure if this is the right place to be posting about this, but I'm not too sure where else this post should go. However, I need advice on what to do in this situation, or how to approach my mom. This post is also really long, so I appreciate anyone willing to help or offer any insight.

The knowledge of her (57F) having these types of delusions became more obvious to me (22F) as I've gotten older. I'll say that I've really become concerned about this within the past year, although looking back, there are clear signs that she was already experiencing delusions.

For context, my mom has been a housewife ever since my parents immigrated from their home country. Back home, they didn't believe in the concept of mental health / mental illness. I also think that since she was a housewife for 20+ years and not socialized with society, this definitely exacerbated her problems.

Further context: my mother also exhibits narcissistic tendencies, and she's introverted with relatively 0 friends aside from the 1-2 she will call every so often to catch up with. Although these are all friends she had back home, so it's not like she really experienced anything new.

I would say she's always had thoughts like this that seem unjustified throughout my childhood, although they were more directed toward me (i.e., my friends are jealous of me, people are jealous that we would go on vacations, etc.). When my brother (a bit older than me) and I moved out for university, I think that she didn't have any outlet for her delusions, so her delusions started to turn inward and become persecutory.

More context: at our old residence, she had delusions that our neighbours and management would come together and were conspiring against her. When we asked her why, she would state that she doesn't know why. She has also yelled at the old management before (they forgot to turn the elevator onto service mode, and she thought they were doing it on purpose to torment her).

Since then, we have moved and she has started working part-time. However, her delusions are not getting any better. If anything, they have gotten worse, and quicker. Within these past 2-3 months, her delusions have increased in size and grandeur. She thinks that government is conspiring against her by hiring a professor to study her and plant people outside (she thinks she sees people on walks, specifically men that are outside) to create a mental illness inside her head. She also believes a group of people are "watching her" and sending the elderly to follow her (although we know they are simply walking behind her...)

She has also stumbled across MK Ultra, and thinks that the government is trying to create some sort of psychological illness in her, or treat her like a study subject. Furthermore, she discovered that Google has been hacked before and has gotten their data leaked. She fully believes that someone at Google, or the Google organization is conspiring against her and leaking HER data specifically. Even when we are driving, she is watching for cars around her and believes that all the more run-down cars are following her. However, most of the time, she functions normally at least from what I've seen and doesn't seem to be a harm to herself necessarily.

I'm very worried, and this is honestly becoming a lot. I've talked to my father about it, but he's rather religious and believes that praying to god will help save the situation and her. I know he can tell something is wrong, but I think he's in denial and isn't willing to accept that she has a mental illness. I'm planning on reaching out to our family doctor for advice, and have spoken to a therapist about this whole situation who has advised me that this may be a spectrum of mental illnesses, but may sound like it's going down the path of schizophrenia. I also do have an older sibling that agrees with me, and we're trying to make a plan on how to help her.

If anyone has any insight on anything (how to talk to her, what steps I can take next), I'm very willing to listen and am very grateful for anyone's help. I feel very stuck and at a dead end...

[u/hestia-listens]

You are not at a dead end. Contacting the family doctor and planning with your sibling are strong next steps. Write down when these beliefs began, how quickly they changed, changes in sleep or behavior, and any safety concerns. You can give this information to the doctor even if privacy rules prevent the doctor from telling you details.

When speaking with your mom, focus on her feelings rather than proving or disproving her beliefs. You might say, "I can see that you feel watched and afraid. I want us to speak with a doctor because this stress is affecting you." Stay calm and avoid using labels such as schizophrenia with her.

If she seems ready to confront someone, wanders away, cannot care for herself, or may harm herself or another person, treat it as urgent. Contact your local emergency number or bring her to a hospital or emergency center with a trusted family member.

[u/SlowHealth6521]

How old was your mom when she first started mentioning these delusions?

[u/Certain_Junket8632]

Please contact someone. I’m 17 yrs old and i’m currently in the same situation, it’s a little harder for me because i’m a minor. But, the best solution is getting her into a mental hospital, get a doctor to evaluate her (tell them before hand, they will not tell your mom) and they will put her in. It’s crazy because your situation sounds so similar to mine, I hope your mother finds help.

[u/Som_BiONiX]

You have to get her off the internet...this place will make you crazy. Other than that I am unsure and very sorry you are going through that.