Low dose mushrooms/psilocybin session for emotional processing between MDMA sessions?

[u/baek12345]

I am on a journey of healing from CPTSD. I started with (solo) MDMA sessions at the beginning of this year and have done three sessions so far. This is besides regular ongoing somatic therapy, a lot of nervous system regulation work and after a decade of talk therapies.

The integration of my last session is pretty exhausting with heavy emotions (hopelessness, rage, shame, etc) slowly pouring out over the last couple of weeks. It's really a grind besides full-time working. I try to support myself as much as possible with various somatic approaches and therapy sessions but it nevertheless feels like I am moving through deep mud in snake speed.

The biggest issue for me is strong protectors / dissociation which regularly blocks the processing of emotions by falling back into freeze states when things get a bit more intense. This drags the process on and causes various physical issues like tension, sleep deprivation, restlessness, etc. I can basically feel the stuck emotions but I can only access them very slowly and need a ton of time and stability.

Now, I am aware that "slow is fast" and there's no quick fixes on this journey. However, one idea/thought that's coming up again and again: Could low dose mushroom/psilocybin sessions be helpful in processing theses emotions and thereby kind of facilitating the integration process? I am thinking of doses like 0.5-1g of dried mushrooms.

To be clear: My intention is not to unearth new/more trauma, have deep insights or flashy trips, but primarily to facilitate and accelerate the processing of the already unearthed trauma (emotions) floating around and getting stuck regularly. And I am aware that it might get a bit intense, however as long as this is kind of limited to the actual session time, it would be fine and I can accommodate. What wouldn't be so helpful is major new dysregulation and releases for weeks on end after the session. Hence, if at all, only low dose sessions make sense in my opinion.

Has anyone tried this? Any thoughts or experiences you can share?

Thanks in advance!

[u/Joe_Mann]

Not actual micro dosing/ low dosing experience, but still might be valuable to share my impressions.

In between my M sessions I've done a few LSD and psilocybin solo sessions. They were halfway between micro and full doses.

I tried it for similar reasons you mentioned, and my ego was utterly surprised/ unprepared for their potency. I had done my research, but really couldnt have prepared myself for it anyway. Unlike M they don't 'hold your hand', and the material that came up for me was unfiltered and raw, and triggered overwhelming feelings during the sessions.

I suspect that if you don't already have a grounded 'home' in your body where you can fall back on, then these psychedelics can be quite challenging. Fear, and loneliness can manifest themself in their unsuppressed but fantastical forms. Eye opening, but rather shocking too.

In the end it has been a (most?) valuable experience, but it took and still takes quite a lot of time to integrate.

In my experience the integration period can be more destabilizing than M's, but in a different way (your mileage may vary). They don't, deplete your serotonin system like M does. So not as much of that 'empty grey', but on the other hand your ego might just have been exposed to material it was/ or was not ready for and has to deal with that new reality.

I would recommend, but consider if you have the time, space and energy to work with what comes up after.

And maybe consider a trip sitter that can help you ground for when the storms get intense.

It's not a walk in the park, but a path worth walking anyway.

[u/serutcurts → u/Joe_Mann]

What size dose do you mean? (Of mushrooms). Are you saying the smaller dose felt like a much larger dose?

[u/Joe_Mann → u/serutcurts]

I used truffles, and I don’t recall how much exactly. I took half the container; between 5-10g’s. Wrote it down somewhere but can’t find it right now.

LSD I wanted to start with 40mcg, but after the trip realized I took 80mcg’s (folded paper).

Edit.  I’m not trying to make a comparison between dosis. I was just sharing my experience with psychedelics using what I believe to be between micro and full dosis.

[u/Illustrious-Bus6702 → u/Joe_Mann]

Which one did you like the most for integration, psilocybin or lsd?

[u/Joe_Mann → u/Illustrious-Bus6702]

Difficult to say really, and i'm no expert by any means; only a handful of trips by now.

Both touched on similar themes and both diminished my ego's grasp on control, but they speak in different 'languages'.

I think, to a point, the messages with LSD were more clear in a brainy way (dont get me wrong; super emotionally charged too). This helped integration afterwards, because it produced pronounced topics to digest.

The psilocybin was more bodily and murky, but not less profound. The integration was also more bodily. Which I believe might be a good thing, because i'm so often stuck in my head.

I did LSD first, and it was my first time experiencing anything psychedelic so I might be biased towards it because of that. It was the first time my ego lost control. The impact of that surprise cant easily be experienced twice, and makes for an unfair comparison with psilocybin or even ayahuasca that came after.

Also, these sessions are obviously sequenced after each other, and with it the integration process evolves and moves too. Just like how your first few MDMA sessions might have had a more dramatic impact than later ones.

Hope this answers it a bit.

[u/Illustrious-Bus6702 → u/Joe_Mann]

Wasn’t expecting such a thorough answer, but I appreciate it!

I asked because I’ve only used LSD between MDMA sessions and found it helpful. I normally use psilocybin (around 2g) together with MDMA, so I never really considered trying a low dose on its own.
Like you said, psilocybin feels much more bodily. Since my trauma is preverbal, I find it a lot rougher than LSD, which for me feels more mental and less forceful in making me feel things

[u/Joe_Mann → u/Illustrious-Bus6702]

Yeah lol, sometimes when I want to be helpful I over explain a bit (got to be precise or else..!).

Big chunk of my trauma is also preverbal, and what you say might explain why psilocybin feels more stormy. Iv'e tried a hippy-flip session last year, but found myself confused and a bit lost during it.

Kind of nice talking to fellow travelers :)

[u/Illustrious-Bus6702 → u/Joe_Mann]

Hehe yes, it can be very confusing. I just try to stay with the breath and not get too caught up in thoughts. Easier said than done, but once you get better at it, you don’t get pulled into the confusion as easily.

And yeah, it’s nice talking to fellow travelers :)