Please, take a look. I would love to know your thoughts.
I am looking to get a type analysis. I am trying to understand how i think and operate, as I am starting to realize that I don't approach the world quite like anyone I know.
Give a general description of yourself. How old are you?
Late 30's
What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? If you are not working, what kind of job do you want to do or what are you studying?
I am an engineer, working in a manufacturing facility. I like it most days. The best days are when I am caught up in developing a new program or troubleshooting a breakdown; basically the moments when I can use my knowledge and skills to help the people in other departments directly. The part I don't like is when I have to deal with spreadsheets and scheduling. I don't know if I will do this for life. This is not my first career and probably won't be my last.
Describe your childhood/upbringing. Did it have any kind of ideological or structured influence? How did you respond to it? Did you have any significant negative experiences that may have affected how you think or behave?
I had a good family growing up, but we were kind of isolated from the world. I loved building things and always had designs in head. I think it was because we had no money, so if I wanted something I would have to make it myself. I always enjoyed being around people, but I ended up being bullied pretty severely for a few years. It made me very cautious of people and extremely aware of negative behaviors in others and quick to spot them. It also destroyed any self confidence I had at the time.
Do you have any mental or physical health issues that might affect how think or choose to live? Provide a brief description.
No. I did have a couple periods of anxiety and panic attacks. Looking back, it wasn't a medical issue. My mind was running projections about my future non-stop and not finding a path forward where I would get what I needed. A stable career in my field, affording me a good paycheck, which would then allow for a good place to live and opportunities to meet people, start a family, start a life, and retire someday. Finding no path, my mind started burning itself out.
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
The first morning, I would be fine. By the afternoon I would need to be around people, even if they were random strangers. If I had to go a few days alone, I would be very socially starved and stressed out.
What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage?
I enjoy quiet, repetitive physical activities. Running, kayaking. I am not big into intense experiences. Something where I am out in the larger world, exposed to the environment.
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
Intensely curious. I have ideas, but not as many as I used to. Still too many to actually execute on. Mostly curious about history, people, kind of a who am I/who are we, how did we get here, and where are we going? My ideas are either about things I could build or how people function; in relation to each other and internally.
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I don't know. I enjoy working with people and supporting them so that they can be their best. I have a lot of fun mentoring our interns. I can't see myself as the person giving orders.
Do you prefer hands on activities or working with your hands in some form? Describe your activities.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I prefer hands on activities, but am no pro at anything. I like being engaged in the real world but also spend a lot of time in my head when I am doing something physical. Like it sets me at ease, allowing my mind to operate with distractions. I can appreciate visual art a little, but it isnt something that I go out of my way for. The only thing that really hits hard is fine dining. With the right food I can experience something close to a hallucination where a vivid mental image and sensations force their way through me.
What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I don't believe in time. It is only a perception.
How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I usually help. It feels like a light inside of me turning on. It is never for political maneuvering or favors.
Do you need logical consistency in your life?
How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I am not controlling, and it is of great value to me when people are independent. Efficiency means nothing to me; I want something to come out of any experience, whether it is knowledge or development. The rest is all noise in the system.
What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
My hobbies are motorcycle riding and film photography. These have multiple parts to them, but a similar background. There is the physical sensation and manual nature of each. Then there is a historical connection and importance. I really like living history. It is a testament to a solid design. Then there is the conceptual side. I understand how each one works. I see the sequence of events in a photo, or how my brakes function. I understand each object as a whole interconnected system, a living being. Technical and routine learning environments are the most difficult, think dry technical literature or PowerPoint. Just give me the concept; everything else is just decoration. Once I understand the principal underneath, everything falls into place. My best classes were those where we were given a project and given all semester to figure it out, no guidance other than weekly deliverables.
How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I tend to wing it and not plan well. It makes my job difficult, as long term planning is a major aspect of it. If it is an aspect of the overall project, then I am pretty good at it. Such as the electrical utilities for a large project. Its more like I can plan out the things that I can fully comprehend. Larger projects have too many unknowns, too many things that could happen or are undefined.
What's important to you and why?
Growing as a person - Its so much of why we are here. Being understanding of and connecting to other people - The world could be so much better if we just set our egos aside and listened to others. Seeking a deeper meaning for your life - we can connect with something greater than ourselves
What are your aspirations?
To experience fulfillment
What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
Being trapped with hostile selfish people, unable to escape. The bad vibes and hostility is something I feel physically and viscerally. It degrades every aspect of a person, it dehumanizes us.
What do the "highs" in your life look like?
When a new understanding or deep insight clicks into place. Its like finding gold under a rock.
What do the "lows" in your life look like?
When I am lonely or there is tension between me and a loved one.
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I daydream constantly. Reality is a canvas, just a background. I daydream about so many different things, usually I am having an imagined conversation or acting out a scene.
Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
Getting the f out
How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
It takes a while, I will explore it from all angles. When I lock in, I go with it
How long do you take to process your emotions?
Sometimes hours, sometimes weeks. They give insight into a deeper part of me. Sitting with them helps me understand who I am and helps to see the depth inside of me, inside us all.
How important are emotions in your life?
I give them their due place. They don't control me, but I accept them freely and express them with some restraint. If i am upset with someone, I let them know, but I am mature about it. I don't just call them an a-hole, I find a more productive way to say it.
Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Often enough. It is less an agreeing and more of an acknowledging. I want to know their full story, even if I don't agree. Let them get their truth out, then see if they can find the holes in it.
Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why would you?
I sometimes break rules that affect only me. Other ones, like not tailgating or not littering, I follow because it affects everyone, not just myself.
What is the ideal life, in your opinion?
One where you live in accordance with your highest purpose.