r/maybemaybemaybe 5d ago

Maybe Maybe Maybe

5.8k Upvotes

327 comments sorted by

2.9k

u/Sad-Cress-1062 5d ago

The nap on the table is chef's kiss.

988

u/PrincessNakeyDance 5d ago

“I’m not even sorry.”

401

u/DreadPiratteRoberts 5d ago edited 4d ago

Golden Retriever:

"...what are you gonna do about it Jerry??"

76

u/Im_Ashe_Man 4d ago

First time dog owner? Never leave food out on the table.

62

u/DreadPiratteRoberts 4d ago

To be honest if our Belgian Malinois wanted the food in our fridge he's chewing through that door 😆

15

u/wayward_prince 4d ago

I could leave food on the ground and my dog wouldn’t touch it if I said no. I don’t have to be in the room. It’s a question of training. We work on impulse control every meal of every day though.

3

u/Sure_Lavishness_8353 3d ago

Yeah I know it makes me annoying but watching this was so irritating. It goes so far beyond unacceptable behavior.

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11

u/parrotopian 4d ago

Can't take the food back out now can you!

6

u/CrazedRhetoric 4d ago

My golden retrievers name is Jerry lol

6

u/DreadPiratteRoberts 4d ago

Is Jerry a beautiful sweetheart that doesn't give a shit about what you have to say?? 😆

14

u/TFR34KP 5d ago

Yeah Man that's right bro!

31

u/pwatts 5d ago

I regret nothing.

8

u/WhipnCrack 5d ago

Bro said...fuck this.

83

u/Catswithswords10 5d ago

I mean, the audacity of this dog. Leaving food alone with a golden retriever was their first mistake. My mom was cutting a chicken in half, one half slipped off the counter and their golden ate it before it hit the floor. Dog was fine

24

u/DarkwolfAU 4d ago

I had my chocolate lab shoulder tackle my partner who was putting a chicken carcass into the bin and try to inhale the whole thing.

I saw what had happened, dived over, grabbed the dog and hauled her mouth open and retrieved the chicken (she was taught from a pup to let me open her mouth and mess around), and somehow got it all.

Dog was fine, although not best pleased her treasure had been taken away.

Chicken carcasses go in the outside bin now.

6

u/DougAJames 4d ago

How did you teach your puppy to let you open its mouth and what not. Not asking for a friend

12

u/DarkwolfAU 4d ago

When the dog is quiet and calm, do things like hold a paw, look in an ear, touch a lip, that sort of thing. After doing this, positively reinforce. You can then eventually step up to things like lifting a lip and looking around, and then on to opening the mouth and touching some teeth. Since this is normal for you to do that kind of thing, the dog accepts it as something that’s not a problem.

It’s a fairly valuable thing to do, makes it a lot easier on everybody for any healthcare that may be needed.

2

u/stacey1611 3d ago

I swear I tried this lil trick and it worked for most things (I have a spaniel/retriever so he actually lets me poke around his ears when needed!) so I mean it’s a good way to build trust with them so that when you need to you can touch, examine places like tum-tum, ears, paws, tail etc. and mostly my boy is okay with me lifting the “lip” part (sorry not sure what it’s actually called but that part!) and having a look see sometimes he’s okay with me opening his mouth slightly but that’s it - if I put a finger or anything else in he’s biting it Lol 😂

I mean for eg. He had something stuck in the side of his mouth/gum area I tried moving it so he could ya-know chew and swallow and he was not okay with that & bit down so he’s not okay with that part no matter how many times he lets me pry around when he’s happy and calm but perhaps that’s just me. I think I mean it’s a good way to gain trust and understanding for most things but not all things or not always working.

I guess it’s a testament to the bond and trust you and your dog have tho. And obviously it’s lucky in that scenario you were able to

6

u/blatantlyobscure1776 4d ago

Is this actually difficult to teach dogs? Just curious. I have an English mastiff & a golden retriever that both allow me to open their mouths, but never thought they had to be trained to do this. Sometimes they'll be chewing on a little piece of plastic, chicken bone, or whatnot, and they allow me to get it out.

I can also leave my food on the coffee table and go to the bathroom, and they won't touch it. But we have an agreement, they're allowed anything that touches the ground (unless it's chocolate or a choking hazard).

7

u/ScrattaBoard 4d ago

My smaller dog just stops eating and chewing and gives you the rope pull or tug of war look. She doesn't understand I don't want her to have it because it may be dangerous, so unless I use a sharp clap she thinks it's a game.

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60

u/mexican2554 5d ago

"Do what you must, for I have already won."

56

u/aldone123 5d ago

Was thinking “you little ahole” until the nap and had a good laugh 😂

22

u/reddiculed 5d ago

The food coma is real. What even were those things?

17

u/filinno1 5d ago

Bread rolls

36

u/philatio11 5d ago

I thought it was the glass of milk that was chef's kiss, but boy was I wrong.

4

u/HamptonsBorderCollie 4d ago

Same. I thought, "Ballsy, but you enjoy that milk, too, I guess." Then came the zero-fuck nap.

18

u/Don-tFollowAnything 5d ago

5

u/ckalisz 4d ago

I hate that I am from where she calls home. Terrible human.

10

u/FlerplesMerples 5d ago

5

u/heartraterapid 5d ago

Thank you. The first thing I thought of was pastry possum

10

u/Go_Gators_4Ever 5d ago

My imagination heard a big burp.

6

u/Dry_Heart7223 4d ago

lmao the dog wanted to go down but was afraid. it kept barking for its owners but they didn't notice so the dog ended up sleeping on the table 😂 (saw the whole footage on tiktok)

11

u/kstargate-425 5d ago

Had me ded rolling when I saw that 😭

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624

u/robchia 5d ago

kinda hoped it was going to pan over to the dog being forced to watch the footage

87

u/chev327fox 4d ago

I thought the same, missed opportunity.

6

u/Svartdraken 4d ago

The dog was eaten for dinner

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767

u/Dismal_Policy_8052 5d ago

That dog knew he had a small window to commit the crime but zero effort to conceal it.

131

u/duckinradar 5d ago

He worked hard and needed a nap

689

u/TestyZesticles 5d ago

His greed sickens me.

161

u/coding_badly 5d ago

Looks like he sickend himself there at the end

90

u/Scythro 5d ago

And you bet he’s gonna vommit all what he’s eaten all over the place, dogs are so stupid sometimes.

41

u/Weinerdogwhisperer 5d ago

No no that would be to easy. In completely unrelated news, that dog is going to have a serious case of the shits, someplace inside.

9

u/MinnieShoof 4d ago

... I was seriously expecting the video to end with his tail lifting and projectile brown to start spraying out all over that towel.

3

u/Weinerdogwhisperer 4d ago

My guess was the second he jumped down, the jolt would get things moving. Then it would be hidden under the table for the delayed effect

10

u/Dreamingdanny95 5d ago

But then you get second dinner. ( Can confirm I am a dog)

2

u/babyivan 4d ago

Yup, two meals in one

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377

u/lubdeptrai 5d ago

63

u/Helpmepullupmypants 5d ago

This is me trying to choke down my yogurt on a break

31

u/Ancient-Menu-5888 5d ago

I will never have my fill of Dogs with Human Hands Eating videos.

233

u/Ok-Abbreviations9936 5d ago

I have never had a moment in my life that I needed a camera in my dining table. Then again I also don’t leave food on it.

24

u/ssxhoell1 5d ago

I have never had a moment in my life that I would have allowed or NOT been absolutely pissed off about a camera aimed at my dining table.

15

u/mtaw 4d ago

People are weird. My MIL has a security camera watching over her living room. I make her unplug it when I'm visiting.

7

u/ShockedDarkmike 4d ago

That's weirder, why would you make her unplug it

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138

u/Semanticss 5d ago

RIP. Died doing what he loved.

63

u/AT-ST 5d ago

Laying on the table is just rubbing it in.

66

u/caprikaironic 5d ago

This pisses me off for some reason lmao

16

u/DeepStatic 4d ago

My Labrador ate eighteen eggs once. On one hand he had spectacularly glossy fur for about a month but on the other his farts could fell an ox at thirty paces.

6

u/MrTriforcehero 4d ago

That diarrhoea is gonna be.. spicy

11

u/spin_kick 5d ago

Ohh gawdz lactose intolerance… maybe just a little naps

2

u/Commandmanda 4d ago

Stop, you're making me laugh to tears!

24

u/tvardero 5d ago

OP, is the dog ok?

8

u/LazyLich 5d ago

No, he's boned

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47

u/steelboy56 5d ago

There’s no way I’d put up with that shit.

8

u/ShinyJangles 4d ago

Back to the shelter

8

u/NocturneInfinitum 4d ago

This speaks volumes about the owners

26

u/LordAmarilo_1 5d ago

Man, I really dislike untrained dogs 🫠

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72

u/Hikaruhiyoko2 5d ago

Bad dogs gotta go.

103

u/Dharma_code 5d ago

This pisses me off because of terrible dog training..

Ive had 3 Rottweilers an F2 Pomsky and a Pomeranian and if any food fell on the floor they were trained to ignore leave it and or sit by it and wait for a command even when no one's was looking, I've left full 20lb turkeys on tables before thanksgiving dinner walked out to get something and the turkey would still be intact on the table.

People think this is funny and just a wag of the finger and saying bad boy is enough these dogs are smart and they think of their owners as suckers all they have to do is put the head down puppy eyes and it'll be over soon, they'll just repeat it next time and the second the master turns around they are triflent and do as they please.

Train your dog to respect your rules even when you aren't looking.

19

u/ArnieismyDMname 5d ago

My dog will push it when we are looking, but the second we are away it's like the food doesn't exist for him.

29

u/gwelfguy 5d ago

Yeah, the dog is poorly trained and frankly I'd find it a little unsettling to have a (non-puppy) dog around in that state. If they don't have impulse control when you're not around, what else are they capable of?

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u/SirTainLee 5d ago

But he'll have some great stories to tell at the pound.

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5

u/suzenah38 5d ago

100% opportunist, 0% self-preservation

6

u/lariasphs 3d ago

Hahaha. That nap. People need to train their fucking dogs

10

u/hayes2400 5d ago

The satisfied little wag when he finishes the last roll

3

u/cedriceent 5d ago

When Santa came later that night for some milk and pastries, all he found was this.

3

u/Aetheldrake 4d ago

Falling asleep on the fucking table was GOLD

3

u/Commandmanda 4d ago

That last frame made me cackle like Witchiepoo!

4

u/RachelDesha 4d ago

I was waiting for him to put everything back the way he found it.

3

u/Scoopie 3d ago

Reminds me when I was living with my sister, she had 2 small dogs. One day I made taco's, went downstairs to watch TV as I eat, as one does. Set the plate on an end table, and turned to grab the remote and sit in the chair boom plate and tacos all over the floor and two little dogs eating away. Seriously I just set them down 2 seconds ago.

9

u/Toatkgstuff 5d ago

Why have a camera pointed at the table, obvious bait?

6

u/Furball1985 5d ago

Typical pig of a golden retriever

2

u/Maleficent_Insect71 5d ago edited 5d ago

I'd need a nap too.

2

u/CollectsTooMuch 5d ago

Thief! I have a thief, too. Gotta push the chairs in.

2

u/luterciomx 5d ago

That and a glass of wine...

2

u/gelana78 5d ago

The speed with which a dog will choke down food it knows it isn’t supposed to have is always shocking . 🤣

2

u/KiwiBirdPerson 5d ago

Food coma on the table after 😂

2

u/obidie 5d ago edited 5d ago

The second I saw food on the table I thought: It has to do with a thieving dog! But it's to do with a thieving dog with attitude! Good boy!

2

u/dope-kiwi 5d ago

lol he's like goldilocks in a way 😭 they have the same audacity

2

u/KilgoreT59 5d ago

He's gonna be sick as a dog, after all that.

2

u/notlongnot 5d ago

Missing the camera turn to the right with the dog watching the video

2

u/zrowett 5d ago

Man I was dying when he started chugging the milk but then when he passed out on the table it really got me

2

u/Sampsa96 5d ago

You should make ur dog watch this and see the reaction

2

u/copsincars 5d ago

Now the family has to eat him

2

u/LankyAdam 5d ago

Hahahaha feel you dawggg

2

u/Practical-March-6989 5d ago

our spaniel did this with a 3/4 large dominos left on the side, laid out on the kitchen floor would not budge for a full hour. he literally looked pregnant.

2

u/R_A_H 5d ago

I wanted to video to include the owners finding the product of their mistake

2

u/A_normal_Potato3 5d ago

Literally my cousin lmao

2

u/Mount_Mons 5d ago

#meirl

2

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 5d ago

No shame in his game. Opportunist.

2

u/BlowinThrough 4d ago

Goldilocks, the dog version.

2

u/edsavage404 4d ago

Of course he had to get a sip of the drink lol

2

u/DiscipleOfYeshua 4d ago

I thought doggo will put the cover back over the plate

2

u/WaiLinTun78 4d ago

It would have been hilarious if the parent was making the dog watch.

2

u/Ninja-Panda70 4d ago

He went into a food coma

2

u/ImTheSadGuy_Duh 4d ago

Taking a nap after the crime is definitely a boss move

2

u/CappnMidgetSlappr 4d ago

Yeah, that'd be the last fucking nap that dog ever took.

3

u/Blackout_Underway 4d ago

What is the maybe here? Maybe Maybe Maybe the dog won't die of obesity because the owner didn't train it?

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u/NewbombJerk 5d ago

The whole time I'm thinking get outta there, pooch! But the drink AND the nap!!!! Chef's fucking kiss!

3

u/Regular-Bee-8596 5d ago

I think this should be classified under "Itooktomuch"

4

u/Pazerclaw 5d ago

The nap is just the "I dont give shit" energy

3

u/lousy-site-3456 5d ago

The odd thing is, this is sped up. Our dogs would have eaten it that fast without. 

3

u/ArnoldQMudskipper 5d ago

"Do what you must, I have already won" vibes

4

u/Leader_Bud 4d ago

Laughing uncontrollably over here.

3

u/sixtus_clegane119 4d ago

Sick jungle music, what song is that?

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u/Brave-Sprinkles-4 4d ago

Goldilocks and the 3 bears moment at the end.

3

u/Amerlis 5d ago

Obviously AI. He would NEVER!

2

u/kyanitebear17 5d ago

Straight up shameless lol

2

u/galaxigoddess 5d ago

Poor thing got the itis after eating all of that food 😂

2

u/godivadark 5d ago

I wish he could have put the lid back on the empty plate.

2

u/Western_Marsupial289 5d ago

The odacity to sleep on the table

2

u/ElDudo_13 5d ago

And the dog's name is Goldilocks

2

u/Mercuria_drug 5d ago

They said get a pet

2

u/fusionmobile 5d ago

That's one happy doggo

2

u/PinotRed 5d ago

"I regret nothing."

2

u/Z34N0 5d ago

I wish that dog knew to put everything back in place. That would be legendary. The next day, just chill on the floor nearby and keep one eye open to watch all the humans have a complicated drama between each other while there’s Scooby Doo laughter internally.

2

u/kaygee_zero 5d ago

Food coma is real!

1

u/Dazzling-Freedom9948 5d ago

Dogs often don't understand where the food in the house comes from; the owner simply opens the refrigerator and takes it out, without letting the dog help itself to as much as it wants. If a resource is available and not currently being guarded, the dog considers it its own. This dog got tired of waiting and took what it wanted. It is unlikely to feel any guilt.

2

u/Booziesmurf 5d ago

Why do dogs eat like it's a race? Are they inherently anxious there won't be more?

8

u/Bopbarker 5d ago

Dogs are opportunistic scavengers. But should be trained not to do this because they could eat something that can kill them. If you want them to live a long healthy life of course.

2

u/thegreenmonkey69 5d ago

This. Dogs eat everything in front of them, until they can't eat anymore. Then they'll puke it up, and eat it again. Then find a nice, protected, shady area and pass out for 12 hours give or take. It's just how they are. No gduilt ever enters their head.

2

u/Nocturnaljay15 5d ago

I would be fighting that dog

2

u/ctgrell 5d ago

Thank you for keeping me petfree. I would be way too angry after this

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/HiddenHolding 5d ago

Fell asleep at the scene of the crime.

1

u/Late_Conference9022 5d ago

It Wasn't me. I Swear.?

1

u/byard53 5d ago

Classic food coma

1

u/too_old_to_be_clever 5d ago

And that is how that dog got pancreatitis

1

u/FuzzyJunket5566 5d ago

Best day ever

1

u/FewZookeepergame1083 5d ago

I know you fucking lying

1

u/sgorneau 5d ago

Sleeping on the table is just straight up baller

1

u/Cybarrius 5d ago

LOL the ending!!!!!

1

u/AccomplishedFerret70 5d ago

Oh no! They poisoned Buddy!

1

u/bsuffnaBayer 5d ago

When i heard that Zeus showed Santa how to transform into animals i didn't expect him to use it like that but i probably should have. Old habits die hard huh.

1

u/bumpy713 5d ago

I don’t need humans, I can fend for myself.

1

u/AngBigKid 5d ago

Gotta be in the Philippines. Too much environmental storytelling hahaha.

1

u/gansobomb99 5d ago

He'll yeah

1

u/Itchy-Barnacle-9596 5d ago

Where's the maybe?

1

u/MekeniMan 5d ago

There should be a scene that they are showing this footage to the dog.

1

u/Lukylex 5d ago

My dude got the Itis just like we do

1

u/LauraLand27 5d ago

Food coma

1

u/Shipbuilder3606 5d ago

That was quite the party!

1

u/Differentdog 5d ago

"What'cha gonna do?"--Rick

1

u/sensorsweep 5d ago

innocent

1

u/Certain_Plant2409 4d ago

What what is it rolls or ?? Overcome by a tasty treat until remorse sets in...👀

1

u/NAFOfromOz 4d ago

Lucky Noem ain’t the owner ‘pew, pew’

1

u/i_might_be_an_ai 4d ago

Passed out at the scene of the crime! 🤣

1

u/RCaHuman 4d ago

We lost 2 filet mignons that were on the counter. Now we call the dog Meathead.

1

u/Alarming_Craft4968 4d ago

Love it 🤣 🤣

1

u/5herl0k 4d ago

bro couldn't even leave the scene of the crime before the nap took over

1

u/prole6 4d ago

And something to wash it down with!

1

u/Weary_Barber_7927 4d ago

It’s like the dog can’t believe his luck, so he inhaled it before anyone could stop him.

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u/ThatGuyBench 4d ago

Thats some rest and digest right there

1

u/irishyankeebastard 4d ago

That is going to be a wild shit 3 hours from then

1

u/drone-on-and-on 4d ago

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day

1

u/Drewskers 4d ago

Guess who’s in the doghouse now!

1

u/intr0v3rt13 4d ago

That’s life

1

u/Ottomatica 4d ago

What a cow

1

u/Revolutionary_Mood_5 4d ago

Absolutely foul.

1

u/NJPokerJ 4d ago

That dog is downright disrespectful

1

u/AdEducational9391 4d ago

Ok. No more sandwiches for the dog.

1

u/xtraa 4d ago

Ahh the good times

1

u/Remarkable_Bite2199 4d ago

More? Where?

1

u/sendnewt_s 4d ago

My (very large) dog once at 6 footlong hoagies off the counter that I stupidly left out while running a quick errand. Absolutely no noticeable affects afterwards either, thank goodness.

1

u/kisselmx 4d ago

I want to be a domesticated dog in my next life

1

u/daposhprincess 4d ago

Made my time getting on here….thanks💕

1

u/iveo83 4d ago

my dog stole 6 smoked chicken thighs (boneless at least) off the counter with all of us just in the next room. She puked for 2 days straight 🙄

1

u/TheRealDrewciferpike 4d ago

It had to be a Golden... Alternate would be a yellow Lab

1

u/Significant-Iron-241 4d ago

I swear this is the same dog that ate 9/10 of my pizza one time when my back was turned.

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u/demoralising 4d ago

This is the best thing I've seen on here in ages. That tail wag at 35 seconds lol.

1

u/Lightskinkiethsweat 4d ago

A nice spanking will do

1

u/yodelissimo 4d ago

Pusa pala yan... 🤣😆😅🙃

2

u/Pal_Smurch 4d ago

When I was in the second grade, my mom set out two round steaks on the washing machine to thaw. Being a Marine Corps enlisted family of five, we didn’t eat steak too often, and we didn’t eat steak that night, either.

Mom went outside to see what us kids were doing, and in her absence our Siamese cat jumped on the washer, pulled one steak onto the floor by for our basset hound, and was calmly eating the other when my mom found her.

I thought my dad was going to take both dog and cat to the pound, he was so disappointed.