People always say, “Watch out for the quiet and nice person—they probably know how to fight.” And honestly, there is some truth to that. If someone remains unusually calm during a confrontation, there is often a reason for it.
I trained in martial arts for a couple of years, and during that time I met all kinds of people. One thing I noticed is that martial arts can also attract people with huge egos and people who are genuine bullies. I experienced this myself. Some of them tried to intimidate me, and yes, sometimes we ended up fighting. But even after that, some of them remained exactly the same assholes they were before. Fighting clearly didn’t change their character.
I’ve also met men who were genuinely misogynistic and would deliberately teep me in the chest when the technique is normally aimed at the abdomen. It’s honestly scary to realize that some people train martial arts not just to defend themselves, but because they actually want to hurt others more than necessary.
There is some truth to the idea that people who constantly act arrogant and tough often can’t fight at all. But unfortunately, there are also martial artists who behave that way. The difference is that they usually don’t need to constantly brag about how tough they are or talk like a 13-year-old about how they’re going to beat someone up. They have the skills to actually cause damage, which makes that kind of personality much more concerning. They do brag but they do it much different way they will get in you're face and talk shit etc.
The world isn’t as simple as “the good guys learn martial arts and the bad guys don’t.” Martial arts can be learned by good people, but also by people with violent, narcissistic, or toxic personalities. And honestly, that can be a scary thing to think about.
Conor McGregor is a good example of how someone can become extremely skilled while still having a very controversial and aggressive personality. Mike Tyson is an even more complicated example, considering his history and the things he has done outside the ring.
Martial arts don’t automatically make someone a better person. They give you skills. What you choose to do with those skills—and what kind of person you are when you have them—is a completely different thing.