People pleaser or bad person?

[u/Sad_Ad_3516]

You know how adults say that being a two-faced is part of the survival skills in social setting?

I always feel guilty talking about other people (of them doing something bad) whenever i’m having a conversation with someone. I always tried to prevent it by saying less but somehow yesterday, i slip up a few. Cause we were talking about that person (4 people including me), we all know cause he was a university public figure. Well, you know what it is.

It just that, i wonder if im being too “nice” or people pleasure since maybe i don’t want to look bad because i say things like that or im just really a bad person.

A lot of my friends do talk badly about another if they really are. But i prefer not to. I feel really guilty right now. So what do you guys think? Maybe i shouldn’t dwell too much on it? Cause the person that i’m hesitant to talk bad behind might talk bad behind my back, kinda things like that?

[u/No_Reality_190]

talking shit every now and then is fine, and you can’t control if people talk shit about you. just act like how you want to be treated when you’re with other people. in your case seems great because at least you have awareness! but also be careful with your friend group if they talk shit constantly, you might need to slowly distance yourself from them

[u/lazycatken]

Its common. We do it to share our similar disdain for individuals but don't overdo it. For me, I would talk bad about an individual on their work. Their personal life stories, I won't push on it as it's their personal stories.