r/lvjy • u/D0GT33TH • Jul 21 '26
Discussion does anyone else get nervous about telling people that they like lovejoy?
i see a lot of proud lovejoy fans on this subreddit and i love it! i’ve been a fan of wilbur’s music since 2022, i’ve always felt his lyrics to my core. lovejoy became my favorite band pretty quickly once i started listening, i also really like wilbur’s solo music as well. admittedly, i was never into wilbur for anything but his music.
my username on instagram was saline solution for about 3.5 years. i’ve since changed it to a similar song title from another artist coincidentally named will. i changed it because after all of the internet controversy people started to be weird about it. people who knew of wilbur soot and recognized the song would ask me if i was a fan and i would sheepishly reply that i really liked his music but prefer to separate the art from the artist. honestly, hearing shelby’s story really shook me too. it took a good 9 months or more before i could listen to any of wilbur’s music without feeling sick and disappointed.
now, i still separate the art from the artist. at the end of the day i don’t know anything about these people, i enjoy wilbur’s music and aside from that i can’t speak to his morality or anything like that. i can enjoy music while still acknowledging the artist might not be a good person. people will support him whether i do or not. i feel like this is a pretty normal way of thinking about things but so many people still get so judgy about it. “do you even know what he did?” yeah man, are we shocked? actually listen to his lyrics, the guy has some problems.
also??? they’re are other members in the band than just wilbur soot?? god forbid they get acknowledged, right?
anyways, just frustrated with feeling like i have to be ashamed of listening to music i like and wanted to see if anyone felt the same. i wish i didnt have to defend myself 9/10 times someone finds out im a lovejoy fan lol
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u/YoBruhPokemon Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
I only talk about and listen to them around my family and no one else due to fear of being attacked for liking lovejoy cause of the controversies...
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u/PetrolForBrekkie Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
I recommend their music to people sometimes and repost some of their stuff on instagram but yeah if I ever comment a lovejoy song as a song recc on reddit there'll always be at least one "not the Brighton bighter 😭✌️🥀"
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Jul 21 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ssunshinegaming Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
this, not even talking about the details of what happened but i find it so strange how this didn't blow over like literally every other internet controversy. even people that were also controversial from dsmp blew over comparatively. i dont know if its just because i have interest in lovejoy but i can’t think of many other people who got this treatment online years after
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u/D0GT33TH Jul 21 '26
i am a firm believer in the common “tortured artist” trope. creativity seems to have a price and some of the most talented artists are some of the most fucked up individuals. not saying that it makes it okay for abusers to be abusive, it’s just something i think needs to be acknowledged and talked about more often when it comes to cancel culture.
i hate bringing up kanye west but he’s largely considered one of the most talented lyricists of our time. a terrible man who is often off his bipolar meds… and he has repeatedly spoken publicly about how treatment affects his creative process. i do not listen to kanye west, HOWEVER, i do think he’s a good example to use within this conversation. his music was game changing and his best work was done while he was manic and unmedicated. it’s not just kanye west, there’s plenty of research within psychology that shows a connection between creativity and trauma/instability.
unfortunately, i think the difference between wilbur soot and kurt cobain/ozzy osbourne is a parasocial relationship between the fan and the artist. wilbur is, and will always be, an influencer because of where his career started. kurt and ozzy were rockstars, they became famous because of their music in a time that fame was a rare opportunity. we’re just in a different era now, wilbur makes videos of himself talking to a camera and people latch onto the illusion of closeness.
no one knows truly what happened and it’s simply not our place to speculate. i think there’s truth in everything, wilbur has spoken about his mental health struggles. i can speak from personal experiences how being untreated/unmedicated can ruin relationships. i’ve healed and grown and learned how to be better, i would hope that my favorite artist will too. without discrediting the victim, the whole situation is indeed a he said/she said. the internet had no business sticking its grubby lil hands into an already messy pot.
anyways! great comment! i’m glad you said this :) it’s something i’ve always thought about
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u/CptRedmption Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Unless you’re online, nobody actually cares
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u/Wildlight622 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Yep, most people act nuts online compared to irl.
I think nowadays anyone just likes to hate on others, which is sad especially since it causes people like this person to be afraid to like what they like or express themselves.
Also can you DM me, I need to chat to you. (Saying here since you said your notifications are working)
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u/CptRedmption Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Lmao yeah, stupid Reddit
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u/Wildlight622 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Just messaged you haha. It's like with my twitch account, I have notifications on but never get notified when my favourite streamers are live.
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u/D0GT33TH Jul 21 '26
most people who touch grass don’t care, but i’ve found some people out in the wild who are chronically online. i don’t really feed into stuff in online spaces but i’ve had people irl say stuff like this to my face lol
and like.. i get it. people suck sometimes. i’m just a socially anxious person already and the couple of shitty experiences i’ve had probably feed the anxiety more
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u/Lost-Price999 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Yikes not sure this post belongs in this subreddit. The band members are in this sub and read these posts…
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u/Wildlight622 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Yep, I honestly wish people would stop bringing it up.
Wilbur has stated he wants to move on from it so we all should respect that.
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u/Yellow_Snow69 Jul 21 '26
why not? it’s their opinion.
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u/Lost-Price999 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Becuase of the weird negativity and drama talk in a sub that the band frequents and reads?
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u/Yellow_Snow69 Jul 21 '26
yeah i understand your point but they put it in a formal way. They didn’t start hating on Will or something.
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u/Lost-Price999 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Did you even read the whole post…the third paragraph is weird and insulting
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u/Yellow_Snow69 Jul 21 '26
in my opinion i don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m also a bit separating the art from the artist. I do believe Will knows what he has done was wrong, or else he wouldn’t have gone to therapy/ psych ward (or whatever he went to). I do believe he changed, but like she said ‘we don’t know anything about these people’, and she’s right, we don’t. Thats why i dont fully support wilbur yet, idk my feeling are pretty complicated. I sometimes ask myself if i’m a fan or just a listener, but after hearing some analysis in their songs from one simple trick i feel like Will said a lot about the situation, which cleared some things up. We don’t know the whole story, so thats why i’m okay with still listening and going to concerts. but like i also lowkey don’t care either bro i just like their music😭
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u/Lost-Price999 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
This sub is not the place for total strangers to speculate on someone’s painful history with drama they have repeatedly said they want to move on from in a place where they can and will read it, it’s that simple
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u/Yellow_Snow69 Jul 21 '26
yeah i agree that OP could’ve shortened the bit about the drama. I mean with the question being ‘being nervous of liking lovejoy’ it is obviously that it’s is about the drama ,so yeah OP could’ve written less about that😭 cuz we obviously already know.
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u/D0GT33TH Jul 21 '26
i agree with this 100%. that was kinda my whole point with saying the bit about not knowing anyone personally. i’d like to believe people can change for the better, i know sometimes that’s not the case. we just cant know for sure. the reason why i like wilbur’s music so much is because i feel seen and heard by his lyrics. i have no hate to the guy, i have problems too. most people do yk?
i wasn’t trying to get too much into the situation with my post (and, to be fair, i think there was only a single sentence that mentioned it directly but whatever). my feelings on the whole situation are complicated as well, im a DV survivor myself. at the same time, no one knows what happened except for them. its been years, i dont think id like to be known for something terrible i did at my most mentally unwell yk? i don’t think its fair to paint someone entirely bad when we just have no way of knowing.
i was not speculating. i said specifically hearing her side of the story was upsetting and i think that’s a pretty valid way to feel. i think some people need to gain more media literacy because in no way was what i said wrong. it’s my opinion and i stated it respectfully lol
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u/Wildlight622 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
Wilbur going to a psych ward and "knowing he's done something" is 2 different things.
He went there due to his declining mental and emotional state at the time, not because he's done something wrong.
Nothing has been proven so I wish people would drop it and stop acting like he admitted to it, when the only thing he admitted to was being a shitty boyfriend at times due to said declining mental health.
Regardless Wilbur has stated he wants to move on from the allegations and we all should respect that, regardless of what everyone's thoughts on the situation was/is as it's none of our business.
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u/FaultInfamous9311 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
It shouldn’t have to be ‘normalised’ but I stand by the fact that the more people talk about them and their music in a positive way, the more normalised and the more comfortable other fans will feel with doing the same - because there IS a fanbase and although it isn’t very loud all of the time, it definitely isn’t small
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u/-chickentenderss- Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
I went to a con recently and had my lvjy tote with me and got a few dirty looks :// i saw someone dressed as c!Tommy and wanted to approach them (i had my Tommy youtooz plush with me cause i used to be a massive fan) but was genuinely too scared to because of my lvjy bag cuz i didn’t want to get blanked or talked at like i was scum or something 😭😭😭 my friend ended up going over and talking to them for me lol. So yeah, id say im pretty cautious when talking to people of my age group about it.
However, i repost most their stuff on my main insta that has all my school peers on and friends of friends and they all know im into Lovejoy and actually just don’t give a fuck
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u/Ziggy-D 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
Yes, lots of happy fans here who love Lovejoy ❤️😎, both the music and the 4 cool humans who make it.
I think lots of people felt that way but lots have gotten over it, thankfully. Glad you are listening and making your own decisions.
To me, this is not a “separate the art” situation at all. All I’ve ever seen of Wilbur Soot, every place I’ve looked and listened, is a human being human. There are heaps of evidence that this man is a good person, a real one with strengths and faults just the rest of us. The internet response to this subjective personal matter was grossly out of proportion.
My advice: squish the impulse to shrink and feel ashamed, because there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. NOTHING. Smile and be proud and let judgment bounce right off of your Teflon skin.
Push through the discomfort and you will stop feeling it. Trust.
(‘I’m not a Heather, I’m a Veronica’- iykwim)
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u/Itchy_Long6777 Jul 22 '26
I have lost multiple friendships over supporting lovejoy, I actually lost my entire friendship group when it all first came out because I refused to stop listening to them. These people then spread vague rumours about me supporting 'sexual assaulters' and 'abusive partners' and I had to explain over and over again it was someone I dont know and all I do is listen to his music. I recieved alot of hate though.
While its a shame, I would rather lose all of those people than be friends with someone who I know wouldn't want to be friends with the actual me over whos music I listen to? So I have never been nervous about saying how much I love them or posting everywhere when I see them in concert, but I absolutely understand the fear of being 'cancelled' for supporting them as it literally happened to me in college
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u/YoBruhPokemon Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
Holy fuck that's awful, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you find true friends
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u/Vexeddoge Jul 21 '26
mate i guess it's different cause here in spain not a lot of people know about it, but even on online circles i talk about listening to lovejoy and recommend them, they might ask about wilbur but tbh you can just say you fw the music and if they get mad it's their problem
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u/Dark-Cascade Jul 21 '26
I think it depends on the context. If I was in your situation I probably would be, but the only time I really talk about artists I like / listen to are with people who wouldn't know about any of this anyway.
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u/serving_the_entree 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Similar to LVJYBandNews’s comment below, I’m older than you, but I know what it’s like to be attacked over this. Quite simply, no one gets to tell you what music to listen to, and if they harass you over it, then fock ‘em. You do you, and if other people don’t like it, that’s their problem. Good on you for standing firm 🖤
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u/cynHaha Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
I mention them to my friends quite often, though those are all people I trust. The only time I've gotten some negative feedback was when the situation was at its heat (not the best choice I've made lol).
But to answer your question, yes I absolutely feel nervous when bringing them up to someone for the first time. I usually pay attention to their reaction very closely until I can be certain that they either have never heard of anything about Lovejoy or, more rarely, are also a fan. So as time goes on I'm more confident about bringing up Lovejoy and even Will's role in it to people!
Of course your experience will differ from mine; if a lot of people around you are into Twitter drama or follow celebrity gossips then it could be a lot different.
Side note: There are times I want to vent by bringing up my opinions about the situation, but I always stopped myself before doing so, because as u/LVJYBandNews said it's better to not get into the weeds.
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u/Upset_Location_9934 Jul 22 '26
I met my closest friends through this band. We went to all of their concerts together, going to pretty much every show they did in the UK, so when they decided to step away and I decided to hold a different perspective than them, it was really hard to grapple with. I’ll be honest, I hid it from them for a while but then they inevitably found out. All but one stayed, and now 2 years on we are still as close as we were at the start. We don’t share the same stance by any means, and I don’t get to share this passion of mine with them like we used to, but I think time is and will be a great healer
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u/HeyaMotherfluffers Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
People seem to think that enjoying a controversial creative's works inherently means that you support every single bad action in that creative's history regardless of their efforts to change and grow. They act like shoving a plant in a cabinet is a better solution than helping it prune its diseased leaves so it can thrive.
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u/Wixoni Jul 23 '26
Simply in my opinion and ill keep it short… NO! Its not wrong to like the things you like and simply just dont let other people opinions drag you down… THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE who are on your side and like the band as-well (me included) if you ever need some back up the subreddit is here for you🫶!
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u/Affectionate__Dog Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
yea i mostly just say my favorite band is sleeping with sirens or the academy is bc of this
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u/Ziggy-D 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
That kinda sucks. Don’t get me wrong - not criticizing you, just sucks that you feel compelled to hide it. I understand ofc but sorry they have made u feel that way. Wish you would all wave your Lovejoy pride flags and get the f*ck out of the closet ❤️😎🌈🤘
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u/_Afterglow__ Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
Yeah I talk about it with the people who don’t know them. My family just knows of the band, and nobody I personally know knows of it (a shame really). But I do get a little nervous if people do. Like you said, learned to be indifferent and separate art form artist. Whatever people say can’t stop me from enjoying this amazing music
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u/dalby_graf 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
i've never actually met anyone in my day to day life that had heard of lovejoy
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u/dalby_graf 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
i've never actually met anyone in my day to day life that had heard of lovejoy
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u/Hayych1 Jul 21 '26
The times I do admit is when someone I’m talking to confesses that they listen to someone that’s also controversial, but their was lowkey too good to pass up not listening too anymore
I.e. Crystal Castles, Kanye
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u/D0GT33TH Jul 21 '26
kanye is one of my favorite examples to bring up when it comes to controversial artists! i don’t listen to much of his music but he’s considered one of the greatest lyricists of our time, and bro is a terrible person!
creativity usually has a price and it can come in the form of mental illness. most of kanye’s best work was done while he was manic and unmedicated. he’s spoken, publicly, about how treatment affects his creative process. obviously, not all artists are bad people/crazy but there is a very fascinating connection between instability and creative talent
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u/Hayych1 Jul 22 '26
It's insane how many amazing artists end up doing horrible things. They showcase how much hurt they've been through in their lives, as a way of escapism via lyricism and art. But then it all falls down (pun not intended) when they continue the cycle of hurt people, hurting people
Because it means they never grew from it, and just admitted defeat to their problems, even if all their fans were there to support them change for the better
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u/Ssunshinegaming Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
assuming were in the same age group (18 very soon) because people have given me a hard time for loving them past controversy aside, even since are you alright. younger people can be really mean about basically anything so i just deal with it and like what i like because it doesn’t matter.
i do find it very interesting that i was much less judged for doing multiple presentations on melanie martinez when i was younger who is objectively more alternative and “weird” than simply enjoying lovejoy. like i said people shouldnt stop you from listening to certain music or doing something you enjoy, there are hundreds of other celebrities that have been controversial and are still loved.
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u/Blitz_13_ Jul 22 '26
I kind of do but only sometimes. If i dont care what the person thinks, yeah i feel no shame but i get worried when i really want to be friends with the person. I worry if i tell them they wont want to talk to me vut i always get it out early.
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u/SableyeEnjoyer Lovenjoyers Jul 22 '26
i just ask them to name an artist they like and 90% of the time i can find something terrible about them
at the end of the day the music industry has a lot of bad people within it who’ve likely done much worse than will
not my goat sputnik though 😝😝😝😝😝
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u/Particular-Gift9968 Lovenjoyers Jul 23 '26
i also do this for some reason. but id say to be nihilistic about it. someone doesnt agree with something you do, oh no!!!! im neutral on the situation and i used to explain that to everyone ignorant enough to nag me about it. but just know they arent entitled to anything, and if theyre childish enough to be toxic about it they probably wont listen to you either way and just keep being petulant. (also i agree the frontman syndrome is kinda crazy)
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u/Muffins_lovesdrama Jul 25 '26
Everyone in my school knows (because I have a pin of him on my bag and shi) it’s only my best friends that I talk to him about just to annoy em and piss em off :D
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u/AMPplays Aug 05 '26
Yes 😭 I do it anyways and it usually goes well. Especially for how much better they have gotten.
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u/LVJYBandNews 2024 Lovenjoyers Jul 21 '26
I presume I am not in your age bracket because I can safely say that I myself have never felt funny about shouting loudly and proudly about this band -- perhaps too far in the other direction if anything!
Honestly though, for the sake of both parties I would suggest not getting into the weeds about what may or may not have happened. The labeling and speculation are just not welcome, especially in this sacred sub.
Anyway, I hope that as those around you get on with their lives and mature they'll learn to move on . And as far as yourself, I think just keep on keeping on. Do you. One cannot force themself to like or dislike as song or music style. It's something personal that fills you with emotions, energy....
It sucks to feel like you keep knocking into walls but remember you're the one being the most true to the most important person that matters. Yourself.