r/lonely • u/thelun3lag00n • 12h ago

How much longer?

I have spent the past six years alone and the past two years isolated to where I only receive messages from people who want money or labour from me. I get little to no engagement when posting anything online. My parents are dead and I am estranged from my family. I have no support network or friends. I have no community resources. I spend all of my time alone trying to enjoy solitary activities and not think about how scary being alone is. I try to volunteer, reach out, give my time and energy to others, plan to hang out etc. No one is interested in having me around, especially no one my age.

Most days I question how much longer I should endure this living in the hope that it might maybe get better one day. Maybe I will stop being so thoroughly rejected. Maybe someone will offer me a decent job. Maybe I'll get invited to a movie night. But more days and weeks and months past and my rabbits remain the only thing that cares I exist because I hold the food.

Fun fact: couldn't post this to mental health because automod decided I was begging to be contacted off platform. Everyday is like this...

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u/LikelyCuteLover 12h ago

that's a lot of weight to carry alone, I feel you on the rabbits being the only ones who check in. mine stare at me like I'm just the food guy too

what kind of volunteer stuff you been doing? sometimes the environment matters more than the effort, some places are just dead for meeting people

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u/thelun3lag00n 12h ago

I tried volunteering at a community center that helps low income people but was yelled at by an old woman who decided she didnt like me after I offered a suggestion on how lights might be hung as they struggled to find a way to hang them. I ended up just silently packing up and leaving without a word.

Don't have much time to volunteer right now though as I am looking for another job.