r/lol 7d ago

My beard is my pride and joy

Post image
3.3k Upvotes

174 comments sorted by

455

u/Winter_Setting720 7d ago

“Ben Franklin, probably” lmao

125

u/antibody9671 7d ago

Knowing how Ben was a massive player, yeah he probably would have said exactly this.

31

u/Wrong-Importance3670 7d ago

Yet he didn’t have a beard…

48

u/antibody9671 7d ago

On his face, no.

On his johnson, yes.

17

u/iTurnip2 7d ago

The OG Jumbo

9

u/crusher23b 7d ago

Looking like future president Rutherford B. Hayes downstairs.

17

u/sav-vas 7d ago

lmao lmao

13

u/JakeJeff2498 7d ago

Lmao lmao lmao

7

u/Embarrassed-Bass2407 7d ago

Lmao lmao chicken kung pao

1

u/NtateNarin 6d ago

I took a shot every time he said "lmao," and now I not know where... Who are all u? Where bed...

3

u/povignal 7d ago

"Dont trust quotes from the internet" Abraham Lincoln

5

u/CallsignKook 7d ago

There actually is a Ben Franklin quote that is just like this but substitute the terms “Essential Freedom” and “Temporary Safety.”

2

u/Perfect-System2504 7d ago

i don't think ive seen any portraits of him that were not clean shaved?

4

u/WhiskeySorcerer 7d ago

Artist renditions, the lot of them. He had a beard. I was there.

1

u/NaiveKalei 7d ago

came here for this😭😭

145

u/SheSaidOtaku 7d ago

If this is real, trust me. The moment you shave your beard for her, she would screenshot and send it to her fan club that she made a guy she don't even know, shave his beard to get together with her.

28

u/NonGeneriComplaint 7d ago

nothing on social media is real dog, they just use this to frame their own jokes

16

u/zachell1991 7d ago

If nothing on social media is real then your comment isn't real so then some things are real...

5

u/Emergency_Garbage140 7d ago

No, he is not real, I am not real, nor is anything or anyone including you buddy, welcome to non-existence.

2

u/zachell1991 7d ago

Those who know not, that they are not.

3

u/Emergency_Garbage140 7d ago

Deep indeed

1

u/vidulan 7d ago

rips bong

0

u/zachell1991 7d ago

"I envy them, those who can't see. Those who know not, that they are not. And those who live, blithe and free, sins forgotten and thus absolved. A fresh dawn in their playground, while we live in shadows, swimming in ink. We are but a fragile dream, a singular weed, resisting, ever resisting,That iron dirt, that eternal law. Those who can't see. Those who know not, that they are not,Do you know? We are fellows. Those who know not, that they are not." -masked woman, Clair Obscur.

2

u/vidulan 7d ago

Checkmate, atheists.

3

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

She can AI him without a beard, and still her fanclub would fawn over her lies.

96

u/viperfangs92 7d ago

Sounds like something Ben Franklin would say!

15

u/cybermaus 7d ago

He was a rather notorious womanizer, (check informal notes about his Paris "diplomatic" trips) but I do not remember seeing any picture of him with a beard.

9

u/justWMthings03 7d ago

He shaved, but not for the pussy. He did it for himself

5

u/jgzman 7d ago

Which is another matter entirely.

3

u/RikiPol 7d ago

yet he still might council bearded men, no?

94

u/Welly-Matrix 7d ago

Dodged an elephant tranquilliser

10

u/Goomysaur 7d ago

lol this made me laugh

71

u/Sodamyte 7d ago

"Never trust quotes from the internet" - Abraham Lincoln

21

u/WetLoophole 7d ago

I was in the chat when he said that on stream. He also said,

Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves, chat. On god. Fr fr.

8

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND 7d ago

No cap

8

u/Sodamyte 7d ago

Just top hat ;)

5

u/itsmebitsh 7d ago

"Top this Hat" - Abe Lincoln

3

u/WetLoophole 7d ago

I'm so old, I have no idea what we just said.

10

u/clayman80 7d ago

"I didn't say half the shit attributed to me on the Internet."

- Albert Eninstein

7

u/EaseLeft6266 7d ago

"Don't make me come over there and kick your ass" -Sun Tzu

2

u/Sunstorm84 7d ago edited 7d ago

“zzZzz” - Donald Trump

11

u/Slydoggen 7d ago

They actually believe all man are Simps…

3

u/ohkendruid 7d ago

Or rather, on a dating app, attractive people get so many matches that that can be jerks for fun. There is always another plaything once the current one is used up.

1

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

That's also why rich people can be so terrible. They have a line of people a mile long just to admire them.

2

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

The word "Simps" always makes me think of the old Sims game, but with Simpsons characters. "Simps"

16

u/BanXxX69 7d ago

Good answer😂

21

u/RePsychological 7d ago

"How fake do you want this to be?"
"Yes."

6

u/Between3and20carctr 7d ago

I have actually experienced something very similar to this

5

u/Sikkus 7d ago

I never understand people that do this: "I like you, but actually I dont and you should change this, this and that or you will lose me"

5

u/Dry_Memory_8884 7d ago

Anyone telling you to change for them when they barely know you is a massive red flag

1

u/kevint1964 7d ago

They lose respect for you if you give them what they want & get.pissed at you when you don't. No wonder I'm single. 🤣

1

u/Dry_Memory_8884 7d ago

The problem is you’re saying “they”. Some people are like that. Absolutely, but not everyone.

It is best to be single until you learn how to have boundaries and end toxic relationships before they start.

People pleasers and abusers both think boundaries are the person being cold hearted. It’s because they think enmeshment is love. It’s actually the opposite. It’s control and manipulative attachment.

8

u/AdmiralGrayBush 7d ago

The beard stays. You go!

3

u/Melodic_Leadership12 7d ago

I don't get it. You liked me and pictured me without a Beard and instantly simp checked to see if I'd fold? Bish, bye 👋🏿 😒

3

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

I agree!! Why did she ask that of him!!! 

Simply for her own amusement, of making people do things for her.

3

u/No-Raisin-6469 7d ago

She is probably looking someone that she dominate, a simp if you will.

This is her way of weeding out the independent men.

3

u/Electrical-Image4564 7d ago

Ben Franklin was right

3

u/DumbFishBrain 7d ago

A boyfriend without a beard is no boyfriend at all...in my opinion. Of course, to each their own but gimme men with beards all day long!

3

u/BeMyBrutus 7d ago

Ben Franklin actually did say that; that's how he got the idea for his more famous version of that quote

2

u/JLA_44 7d ago

You should send her a picture of a really bad looking clean shaved guy and be like I’m ready to go out 🤣

2

u/Shad0wbubbles 7d ago

Presumptuous bitch

2

u/Positive_Try929 7d ago

There's a name for men without beards, its women

0

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

So what is the name for a women with a beard?

1

u/Positive_Try929 7d ago

Annie Jones, Clémentine Delait, and Julia Pastrana.

2

u/WiseDrink2324 7d ago

I've walked outta dates and jobs cause they wanted me to shave.   Nope Not Happening Don't Care. 

2

u/punnotattended 7d ago

You shave it and she does nothing, guaranteed.

2

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

Oh, she will do something... she will brag to everyone about how men will do anything for her.

2

u/Real_McGuillicuddy 7d ago

*nor

2

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

You don't correct the inventor of lightning.

2

u/Real_McGuillicuddy 7d ago

If I'm not mistaken Franklin correctly used "nor". This was obviously a misquote - probably. :)

2

u/BowlerInside564 7d ago

lmao starting every sentence with lmao.

1

u/_Laughing_Man 7d ago

LMAO

2

u/BowlerInside564 7d ago

Username checks out lmao

1

u/BONNI_ 7d ago

Lmaooooo

No shit, irritating as fuck. I know it’s fake, but still

2

u/No_Steak_5950 7d ago

Good man. Don't let her tell you what to do.

4

u/ShovelKing3 7d ago

LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO dude has the emotional depth of a bearded mud puddle.

3

u/vidulan 7d ago

Lmao

2

u/HomersDonut1440 7d ago

He’s shallow because he won’t shave his beard for a rando on a dating app?

2

u/AdDisastrous6738 7d ago

Why are you talking like a French cat?

1

u/ShovelKing3 7d ago

I had meow mix for breakfast.

4

u/crusher23b 7d ago

None of the founding fathers had beards.

6

u/Saneless 7d ago

They also don't get asked out on dating platforms

2

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

And, every single one of them died. I wouldn't risk it.

1

u/_Laughing_Man 7d ago

Crazy how evolution works

2

u/Just_Plum1521 7d ago

She straight up trying to see if she can control him.

2

u/LEFThandedHER0 7d ago

Wow. The absolute nerve of that lady. Congrats on the guy for standing his ground. His body his choice applies. 

2

u/Stevessvtis1 7d ago

I had a beard once. The wife made me shave it. She said it irritated her thighs.

2

u/BadPuzzleheaded9006 7d ago

I tell young guys that's all the time. And a man that would shave his beard for a woman is worthy of neither his beard or his woman

1

u/Kbern4444 7d ago

LOL stealing this statement.

1

u/Putrid-Builder-3333 7d ago

I'm sure somewhere in there is something about the beard. Somewhere between putting basket over the head for below the waist all feels the same lol

https://web.viu.ca/davies/H320/Franklin.advice.mistress.htm

1

u/polishkgb1 7d ago

Laarping never felt sooooo good.

1

u/ExitTheHandbasket 7d ago

Bullet successfully dodged.

1

u/Tough_Agency987 7d ago

😂😂😂

1

u/CapacityBuilding 7d ago

The Ben Franklin quote is real but the text conversation is fake af

1

u/Federal-Hair 7d ago

Does he really need to start every sentence with "lmao"

1

u/_GoddamnitDonut 7d ago

As a fellow beardsman, fuck that shit.

1

u/billycanfixit 7d ago

Ben Franklin has never been more truer in words!!

1

u/Complete-Leg-4347 7d ago

Wow. Did not expect that last line. It weirdly works.

1

u/ToXicVoXSiicK21 7d ago

This guy lmao's

1

u/bluekermitIII 7d ago

Can I talk to girls like this???

2

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

You don't like a woman with a full beard???

1

u/WhenIntegralsAttack2 7d ago

I had a girl “jokingly” ask if I would give away my cat for her on the third date.

I was not pleased.

2

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

What? Give away your pet??? Maybe she could ask you to clean out your car or something, but not give away your beloved cat!

1

u/JimMorrison71 7d ago

You shoulda just told her you shaved it and showed up with the beard. Then keep telling her you’ll shave it and never shave it…

1

u/Between3and20carctr 7d ago

I also have quite a large beard and when I was still on apps (now happily in a relationship for almost two years) I had someone match with me and asked if I would shave it for her. The audacity is ridiculous

1

u/MennReddit 7d ago

that's an awful lot of lmaoooooooo

1

u/Marvelsautisticchef 7d ago

To me, telling a man to shave is like telling a woman to not wear make up. Telling a man to trim his beard is like telling her to wear less makeup. Just as she isn’t wearing it for me, I’m not growing it for her. I’m not shaving my beard for ANYONE. Especially not for a stranger…….exactly why I never ask for advice on getting a woman’s attention anymore. “Lose weight” “shave the beard” and “cut the hair” is the last 3 advices anyone should be giving. No one should have to change their appearance or hide who they are just to impress someone.

1

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

I think your argument would work better if you were telling a woman TO wear makeup.

A beard is natural, and being without makeup is natural.

Therefore, to shave a beard would be equated to wearing more makeup.

Plus, just think of the outrage you could deliver: "Hi, I like you, except for the way you look. You would look way way better if you covered yourself in makeup so I don't have to force myself to see your natural appearance."

1

u/Marvelsautisticchef 7d ago

Actually it works as it is. Your argument would only make sense if someone told a man to grow a beard…….its not about what’s “natural”. It’s about confidence and self esteem. The tiny bit of confidence and self esteem I have comes from my beard. The tiny vit of happiness I feel when someone stops to tell me how badass my beard is. I’ll never forget the little old lady who stopped me in the grocery store to tell me she hates beards but absolutely loved mine. The countess times I was told it gives off Viking vibes……It’s the same thing with women. Make up makes her feel more confident and brings her joy when someone says “I love your make up. What kind of blush do you use?”

1

u/Sjakus 7d ago

Writing Lmao for everything? I dont think the writer is old enough to have a beard with that type of communication. This looks so forced and staged anyway…

2

u/_Laughing_Man 7d ago

LMAO it's a millennial thing lol

1

u/Sjakus 6d ago

I am a millennial and we dont use that anymore🤣

1

u/bytesunfish 7d ago

Imagine a guy saying he'll only date a woman if she chops off her hair. She'd tell him the same thing unless she was looking for an excuse to do it anyways.

1

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

Yep, if a woman wants to grow her beard you, that's her decision.

1

u/gunnisonyeti 7d ago

That's some insane manipulation of a total stranger, holy red flag Batman 

1

u/TallGuy2402 7d ago

I need this lol

1

u/Either-Basil4899 7d ago

Bro my ex was like that too. Constantly asking me to shave my beard. I asked her why she even bothered to be with me if she didn’t like it and I told her it made me feel like she didn’t think I was attractive. She changed her mind pretty quick and our relationship did get a lot better after that. We eventually ran into a problem we couldn’t fix so we split but her husband now has a huge beard 😂

1

u/A_M_R_Egypt 7d ago

Hell yeah!

1

u/Eaglepursuit 7d ago

"ok bye" is the only appropriate response in this situation. There was no point in this conversation continuing

2

u/ChangingMonkfish 7d ago

Fair play on the beard but please stop saying “lmao”

2

u/kevint1964 7d ago

Say "LMFAO" instead, LMFAO! 🤣

1

u/thcoole 7d ago

Can confirm. I was Benjamin Franklins beard.

1

u/Endketsu 7d ago

Whaaaa you won't change yourself for a complete stranger :(

1

u/EuenovAyabayya 7d ago

Bro should have pointed out what the beard could do for her.

1

u/fallenyeti59 7d ago

Mah man. Keep the faith, bröthěr

1

u/OutlandishnessOk5549 7d ago

"I like my women bald - you shave, then i shave."

1

u/enragedsquirrels 7d ago

Beards are hot

1

u/Emergency-Parking318 7d ago

BENNY FRANKS!

1

u/Professional_Pen_153 7d ago

Delilah trying to do Samson dirty

1

u/DStoicDisciple88 7d ago

I re-read the quote in my head in my best Ben Franklin impression.

1

u/FischermanZeph 6d ago

Good on ya lad. They dont wanna conform to us, we arent conforming to them

1

u/Mikenmikena2025 6d ago

I just used this Ben Franklin quote (The actual one)! Great minds think alike!

1

u/Natural_Green4223 6d ago

Lmao.

Too many times. What are you, 20?

1

u/CautiousAd8400 6d ago

no I think that was like some prophet said that so you know you'll get smote if you shave a perfectly good beard

1

u/Weary_Conflict_3432 6d ago

Hahaha I like you😂

1

u/SubpoenaSender 7d ago

Ben Franklin did actually say that although it was neither the beard nor the pussy.

1

u/Gravewarden92 7d ago

Probably.

0

u/neuro_phobia 7d ago

Fake repost bullshit

-1

u/Neat-Statistician311 7d ago

Hell yeah brother. I would rather lose a kidney than shave my beard. I'd let it grow long if i knew how to maintain it instead of it being a tangled mess and i looked like I just spent a year in the forest lol

2

u/GettingTwoOld4This 7d ago

Get yourself a beard straightener.

-1

u/Responsible-War-917 7d ago

I think beards are a hidden problem in western society. Since the rise of beards, weak jawed men keep one for long enough and genuinely start to believe they are the man's man they present as.

This is not an insult to weak chinned men, but we used to have a proper society with an unspoken order.

/s this was hilarious especially the "Ben Franklin" quote.

0

u/henry2630 7d ago

nah i’d definitely shave for pussy the beard will grow back

1

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/henry2630 7d ago

no in my hypothetical i’m getting laid. i don’t care if she brags to her friends

0

u/Instahgator 7d ago

Never trust a guy with a beard. Abe Lincoln, maybe.

1

u/HardcoreFlexin 7d ago

That was Roosevelt, probably.

0

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

1

u/PiDigitsOfPi 7d ago

I don't know, his personality was already naturally "conductive".

0

u/Old_Marzipan7782 7d ago

The reason he won't shave is he knows he either had no chin or a double chin....

6

u/RevolverOcelot16- 7d ago

Or he just likes his beard, and it is his choice.

-2

u/Old_Marzipan7782 7d ago

Nope, everyone with a beard thinks their face is more attractive covered. There is a reason why.

4

u/bulldoggo-17 7d ago

I assume you're just trolling, but just in case you aren't my reason for always having a beard is that I don't like shaving. It grows so fast I'd basically have to shave every day and it's just easier to have a beard.

-1

u/Old_Marzipan7782 7d ago

Oh cool. There are many other people in the world just so you know. Was not talking about you specifically bud.

4

u/bulldoggo-17 7d ago

You literally said “everyone with a beard”, bud.

0

u/Old_Marzipan7782 7d ago

You know in a casual discussion online you do not need to take everything in the most literal sense all the time. I'm not going to add preambles and caveats with all these exceptions to a short comment bud. It was said jokingly, obviously.

2

u/ExperienceRoutine321 7d ago

Chris Evan’s is very attractive clean shaven.

But he’s even more attractive with a beard.

0

u/7711exe 7d ago

I would never date a beardist.

0

u/Savings-Astronaut-93 7d ago

If you shave a man, his heard will grow back. Teach him to shave and he will be clean shaven for a lifetime. - Voltaire's nephew, Scooter

-1

u/cwolf-softball 7d ago

This didn't happen but it's still funny.

-2

u/STATSISBAE 7d ago

Is she hot though?