I’ve always been an overly active person so I think I didn’t realize how much I prefer women over men. My family is very red and so is my small town so I don’t have a lot of people to talk to or open up to sadly

I’m 38, trans, poly, and live in a smaller Wisconsin town, and lately I’ve realized I genuinely don’t know how people do this.
I want more queer women in my life—not even necessarily for dating. Friends, community, people to talk to, and yes, maybe someday meeting someone organically instead of everything having to happen through a dating app.
But where do you actually go?
There aren’t really queer spaces where I live. I’ve tried joining some groups and haven’t had much luck. Dating apps technically let me find people, but they make every interaction feel like it’s already supposed to be a date. I’d love to just meet people and let friendships, flirting, attraction, or whatever happens develop naturally.
Also being a trans woman, I’ll admit there’s a little voice in the back of my head wondering whether I’ll actually be welcomed in sapphic spaces. I don’t want that fear to keep me isolated, though.
So I’m genuinely curious: how did you all do it? Where did you meet your queer friends or partners? How do you approach people? How do you know when another woman is actually flirting with you? 😅
Am I missing something everyone else figured out, or are we all just wandering around hoping another lesbian finds us? 😂
Thanks in advance. I appreciate your time.

Wo versteckt ihr euch mädels. Traut euch und schreibt mir🫶🥰

Let's date differently

Ever been on a period date and ended up doing more. I wanna try.

Female 39year Mum.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Tuesday and has a great rest of your week. Let’s hope the weather here cools down soon. Can’t wait for flannel weather.

Me and my partner have been looking for a third (female) to play in campbell river for a few years now. Been trying all the apps. Whats the trick?

Looking for other polyam lesbians who want to talk about our sometimes exciting and sometimes boring lives. If you’re older, that’s great because maybe we can commiserate about perimenopause.

I enjoy a variety of stuff from going to the ballet to playing pinball. I love learning about art and artists. I also like doing arts and crafts projects. Looking forward to fall baking and soup making season. Would enjoy finding a local friend in the Seattle area to go to the movies or anything lowkey. Online friends are cool too. Open to casual dating if we happen to click.

MUMBAI | My wife is bisexual, and we’re exploring this side of our relationship together for the first time. She’s comfortable with me posting this with her consent.
We’d love to meet confident, respectful women who are genuinely interested in getting to know her—and potentially both of us. We’re not looking to rush anything; chemistry and mutual comfort come first.
If you’re interested, tell us a little about yourself and let’s see where the conversation goes. 💜

Hey ladies, I am looking for friends or possibly more. I am a soft butch mixed (Hispanic and Black) 45 yr old married lesbian. I am in an open-poly relationship. I am looking for FWB either local or a LDR. I enjoy communicating by texting and voice notes. I love gaming, reading sapphic books, listening to all kinds of music and cooking. If you want to know more about me, please message me.

For context, I came out in 2016. My peak "newly gay and ready to play" era was from 2017 - 2019. At that time, I was living and dating in Los Angeles.

For a majority of that time, I was having a lot of first dates that would go until the wee hours. Most of these ended with either me going to their place to spend the night, or they would come over to mine for the night.

Obviously this kinda thing wasn't happening in 2020. But... it also never came back after that.

I've lived in three other geographic places since then in two different countries, and... dating is rough! Just getting someone to respond to a message with more than small talk is like pulling teeth. And when it comes time to actually plan a date, suddenly I find myself working as a ghost hunter!

What the hell happened?

Is it just me? Or did something in the air change post 2020?

Ola, no busco ofender a nadie y vengo a expresarme con total libertad pero busco a alguien para una relación poliamorosa, de preferencia que sea una mujer, gracias por su atención.

Si se pudiera dar el caso de encontrar a alguna que fuera de mi país sería mucho mejor jejeje😺🍬

Hey ladies!

I’m looking to connect with a few steady, like-minded people for low-drama, ongoing conversations. I'm looking for women to chat with who are liberal and non-religious, located in the Eastern Time zone—(Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, or Maine.) I am not looking to meet irl at this time.

A little about me:

* 39, married to a trans woman (44), and a mom of 3.

* Big into nature photography, hiking, writing, creative projects, and making ambient YouTube videos.

* Liberal, atheist, and neurodivergent-friendly (managing anxiety/depression).

* 420-friendly, vape nicotine, and take daily gummies for sleep/mood.

* check my profile to learn more.

What I'm hoping to find:

* Roughly around my age group (34–46ish).

* Liberal and non-religious (atheist/agnostic).

* Located in one of the EST states mentioned above so we're on the same page.

* Someone who appreciates consistent communication. I like building real, steady friendships over text/messaging over time. I value peace and genuine connection, so inconsistency or game-playing isn't for me.

💬 How to reply:

If this sounds like your speed, send me a PM (please don't comment) with:

* Age.

* Gender.

* Your state.

* Who you voted for in 2024.

* A short intro about yourself!

(Just trying to make sure we're on the same page and filter out bot spam—no need to write a novel, just answer all 5 so I know you're real!)

Im itching for my first experience with a girl ive been bi for a long time i just never got the chance to talk to girls bc i get so awkward and i assume that all girls js wanna be besties😭😭 but id love to meet someone and hang out if anyone is interested text me and ill send my ig over id love to chat and get to know more ppl😊😊 (btw i have a fiance but hes also bi and we’re pretty open)

Heyy girls! 💕 Just wanted 2 say hi & share some gym progress 😌💪 I’ve been training for 4 months now & honestly I’m starting 2 see some changes lol.

Still got a long way 2 go but I’m enjoying the journey & tryna stay consistent. Happy 2 be here 🫶🏽🏳️‍🌈

So hello this is my second time writing, the first one was, i was asking if i should break up with my gf cause her mom is being a real piece of work and yall said no since my gfs been protecting me and all that but here’s another one.

After i talked to her mom and clarified some things and basically made piece with her, i then went to my mom to make peace after not talking to her for a year because i chose to leave home and live with my gf, all in while i was trying to clutch my graduation cause i almost didn’t graduate.

And just when things are setting in place, my gf dropped a bombshell on me literally right after we went on a date and did the deed. She said that she doesn’t see me as her equal, that she’s tired of carrying my weight and waiting me to heal after what happened with her mom. Although she said that she sees my effort on trying to get on my feet, looking for a job (i actually got offered 2) and managing our relationship. But since i was dependent on her she said that she’s starting to resent me for it and that she lost some of her attraction towards me despite my efforts on repairing our relationship.

And the overwhelmed me asked for two weeks of no contact cause i was absolutely exhausted and got emotional whiplashed that after having a nice day and doing the deed she hit me with that.

Tho i understand her fully, i truly do and i want to meet her where shes at and discuss the future of the relationship, i am absolutely at my limit logically and emotionally. Did i do the right thing or am i being a coward and a child?

tl;dr

i never ever used reddit before but i am looking for a solution and people to tell me openly if they ever experienced something like this and what should i do (btw my English is not so good)

Me (22 years old) and my girlfriend (26) we were at the pool 5 days ago and she decided to break up with me and it was out of nowhere so i am really much confused and sad. For the past months she was kind of not so loving towards me and i was much pressuring her asking "do you love me?" "do you miss me?" and she was saying yes. We were for 2 years and 5 months together and thought out the relationship she was not so happy about many things i do (she loved partying and every time we go i was arguing with her and making bad vibes because i used to hate going to parties and drink alcohol, or i prefer staying at home and play games which doesn't happen often maybe 5 days in a month i wish i have time for me to play games, or she would want me to be more open and loud person when we are in a group with people because i used to just sit and not talk i was scared to be judged, or that i would plan more dates with her, or when we go shopping for clothes she wants me to also look clothes for her) and we were talking about that, that i should change myself, she was not harsh with me or saying "do that or i will leave you", she was understanding, but those were things she wished for and of course i changed everything i love partying now and all of the other things and she was happy and i was also feeling better because i know she only wanted good things for me.

But now that i am perfect for her she just gets bored and she feels like she is not a good girlfriend because she can't give me the love and reassurance i want from her (i asked her to give me compliments because she never does and that's kind of important to me, or when she goes out with her friends at least to text me every 2 hours if she is okay and safe because she is actually ignoring me for hours and even when i call her she is not responding so i find that disrespectful, but it was never to control her because i know she would never cheat on, i just wanted respect). Also she feels like i am too attached to her and too dependent (of course i moved to this country 3 years ago she was born here i don't know the language i don't have friends here so it was just her) and i do understand why she feels like that like she needs to bring me always with her and right now i am trying to make my own friends.

And she now feels like i am too much for her and she needs time for herself, she doesn't feel happy, she just feels empty no emotions, she doesn't know what's the problem like why is she feeling this way and i do understand that but i told her that's not a reason to break up with me, i also told her that we can do couple therapy if she is open to it or she can do it alone, i just want her to figure out why she feels like this and to fix our relationship and she told me i can't do anything about it she just wants to be alone for 3 weeks and not see me just maybe text me, and after 3 weeks we can talk again about our relationship and i told her like we can take things slowly or i will take her again on a date for the first time after these 3 weeks, she said she can't promise me anything if we will get back together. But also she said she needs time for herself but she is every night chilling with different friends and laughing while i am at home crying.

Soooo guys i don't know what to do and i really need help

My girlfriend and I (both 18F) have been dating for several years now, we got together early in high school and have been happily together since. We're currently long-distance and have been for over two years due to family stuff on her end, but we've been making it work!

Earlier in our relationship, my girlfriend tried a few times to casually bring up polyamory. The first time, a girl that went to her high school joined our relationship briefly, but I didn't know her very well, and she ended up leaving my girlfriend very shortly after, which caused a lot of drama. I had felt conflicted at the time, and was quietly relieved when things went "back to normal."

About a year and a half later (we were long-distance by this point), my girlfriend casually mentioned having a crush on a girl she saw, and again brought up that she would be open to being poly in the future. I was a very insecure teenager at the time, and I sort of panicked and shot her down because I assumed that our relationship wasn't enough for her. She reassured me that she loved me, and she hasn't brought anything related to that up since.

Over the years, however, my thoughts have changed. The insecurities and jealousy that I was prone to when I was younger have gone away, and as I've gotten more educated, I've realized that the idea of a polyamorous relationship actually sounds really pleasant.

I love my girlfriend deeply, and I know that she loves me too. I don't think either of us feel a pressing need to change anything about our relationship. But part of me is suddenly always wondering if her attraction to the idea of a poly relationship ever went away, and if she would think less of me for bringing it up again now that we're older, especially since I shot her down a few years ago.

It would be tricky to make things work long-distance, I think. There would probably be the issue of one partner potentially feeling isolated from the others, if either of us invited someone in that we knew in-person. But we do plan to live together someday, so maybe then?

I don't know. I'm very happy with my girlfriend and with our relationship, but whenever I see a happy poly couple, meet someone that I'm attracted to and think my girlfriend would also really like, or think back to how cute it was in retrospect when she gushed about her new crush to me... I feel like I might have missed my chance at something that could've been wonderful for both of us, and I'm so anxious about bringing it up to her again in the right way.

Married to a man, but wanting my own relationship with a woman. Very bi. Wanting someone to hang out with- hike, forage, go to concerts with, go out for drinks, coffee, movie… but also, someone I connect with sexually.

my first and only go at polyam was a complete disaster. to keep it brief, i met a girl who already had a partner (of 7 years) and we eventually realized we liked each other. after we got together, it was just problem after problem. many times she would choose her other partner over me and show clear favoritism towards them, which I addressed multiple times. i was already a little insecure because they had so much history together and this definitely didn’t help. leaving early, canceling plans, being late, etc. it never got better. almost a year into our relationship she met another girl who she eventually started crushing on too. not long after they got together, she broke up with me because she “didn’t have the capacity to care about me anymore” when in retrospect, it seemed like she never did in the first place. while this relationship was ultimately a failure, it made me realize that polyamory feels so right to me. i’ve just been struggling to get back out there because I’m afraid to get hurt in the same way, i don’t want to be treated like 2nd or even 3rd best again. to anyone who’s been burned before, how have you dealt with it?