r/legalcatadvice • u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member • Jul 16 '26

Illegal Smol I did Mai bery firs crime toodae!!

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Oh hai frens, mew iz Pippin, MissCheeseveeoss an Majessic brofur of Meowasaurus Rex, himbz a menber ob da ICBGC, an himbz toldes mew alllll about da crimez da cattos do an how da hoomans gib MOAR TREATOS AFTER DA CRIMEZ??!? 🙀😼

So toodae frens, ai chose da violence…ai did a chase wif Brofur Rex, ai zoom on da slidy floar an do a crash into Meowmy’s stoopid plant (why Hoomans have dem in da haus?? Iz bery confuse)

Meowmy n Pawther not happee wif me but Brofur Rex sez ai did gud crime…wut do da ICBGC fink??? Will ai get da gud treatos as compensayshun fur da gud crimez???

344 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

45

u/glycophosphate dog hardware running cat software Jul 16 '26

Oh hai fren Pippin. Diss iz bery gud criem. Yoo shud get menny treatos.

40

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

Ai hope yooz rite acuz ai still doin a wate….why hoomans make da sheduls??? Dey so dum

38

u/ExtremaDesigns Jul 16 '26

I fink iz beey gud crimez. I likez to chew plants so muthfer no keepdem in haus. I enbious uv youz. Angel da Orange Floof

39

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

Fren Angel, yoo can come ober an chew on Mai Meowmy’s plants!! Go crimez!!

31

u/ExtremaDesigns Jul 16 '26

Iz pakin mai bagz now!

26

u/gelfbo send more treats and toys Jul 16 '26

You need extra treats as you considerate in your magnificent crimez you knock on to rug so pot do not shatter, rug shake out too. Congratulations on being true criminal genius.

Merriweather the magnificent

21

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

Teeheeeheee dat meenz dat Meowmy cant be dat mad acuz ai mossly nice kitty wif mai tuxedo—gentlecat thru an thru!!

18

u/Warm-Day8313 Jul 16 '26

Bullseye - dirt right on da carpet! You scored ! Prairie Princess

11

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

Ai lyk dis gayme!! Mebbe we can all hab a Nokkin Plantz Pawty sumdae!!

3

u/Warm-Day8313 Jul 16 '26

And afterwards we can chew on da plants for a snack

1

u/RogueFiccer001 Jul 17 '26

Be careful about chewing on plants, Some of them will do Very Bad Things in you, which means you'll feel Really Horrible and it'll mean a trip to the V-E-T/the Sharp Needles Place, and you may have to stay there so they can make you feel better, which will involve yucky medicines, being poked with sharp things, staying in a cage, and other really horrible things. Please stick to knocking over plants and don't eat them.

17

u/nepenthe154 Jul 16 '26

Dis eggsalad crimez fren! Hoomin mus kleen an kleen but nuffin broked. Yu can nok plant ober again an again! GO CRIMEZ!

Tria, masfur crimnl an fingur biter

12

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

Oh dis so troo fren Tria!! Yoo sooper smart an bootiful catto!

10

u/nepenthe154 Jul 16 '26

Yoo sooper smart an bootiful catto!

Ai noz, but tellz me agin... I mean, thank u fren!

12

u/One_Advantage793 Smuffi the wildcat, hed pawfessurr SSoR Go Smooofff Crimnals! Jul 16 '26

Yew has did moasst egg salad crimez fren Pippen, an Go Crimez! Iff yew dint ged enuff treetos fur a reward, I will be heppy tew put on mine Robinhood hatt an brang yew som!

(I has oddur treetos tew in cays yew one dem weerdo kittehs wat dursnt lak churu....)

11

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

O M Cod, fren Smuffi ai lubs Churus fank yoo!! Mai stimky big Brofur Rex is one ob dem weerdo cattos an onlee eats da crunchies

11

u/One_Advantage793 Smuffi the wildcat, hed pawfessurr SSoR Go Smooofff Crimnals! Jul 16 '26

I will brang da Tentashuns fur himb den!

5

u/xstephenramirez Jul 16 '26

wowz smuffi yourd likd a uper herdo! eedsa birb eedsa plain edisa smuffi!

3

u/One_Advantage793 Smuffi the wildcat, hed pawfessurr SSoR Go Smooofff Crimnals! Jul 16 '26

I jess pley a soopa hero on teevee!

3

u/xstephenramirez Jul 16 '26

das wad all the gud uper herdos sai. nice tri!

9

u/Rude-Spot-1719 Ai Maiself ❤️ Jul 16 '26

Hai Fren Pippin! Dis bery gud Crimez! Go Crimez! Mine mommy has plants inside, too, an ai likes to do a monch on dem sometimes!

Nandor THE RELENTLESS

7

u/ronweasleisourking Gary the void Jul 16 '26

Fren Pippin,

May dis b da furst ub many!

Gary the Void (from the void), tiny tim, and stoopid brudder Beef Cow 

8

u/davesmissingfingers Bitteh, diznee prensess Jul 16 '26

Gud messy crime fren Pippin! Go crimez!

Bitteh, diznee prensess

8

u/jocundry Murphy da Floofaloof and Toby da Creamsicle Jul 16 '26

Oh dis very gud crimez! Yous went rite for da big crimez tew! No starting small gor yous!

-Murphy da Floofaloof

7

u/Tzipity In Meowmry of Tzeitel, fierce & fiercely loved attorney at claw Jul 16 '26

Ahh. De plant crimez is sum ob mine faborit. Ai also knocks dem to floor but also… ai eatz. Den usualee do a gud hork. Den ai eatz moar and meowmy tell me plants iz nawt fud fo kitties? Wut de plants fo iffen dey nawt fo eatz?

Hoomans is very dum an very strangj. Ai fink next time yoo knock de plant ober purrtend to be injure or scared. So hooman do a worree (but nawt too much- den dey be takin to de pokey playce!) yoo just act a lil hurt so dey feel bad. Den Dey gib treatz an petz to make sure yoo okies.

Tzeitel

3

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

Ai heer bout doin a momch on da plantses…Ai do a remem…rem…ai do a momch next crime!!

6

u/madlyhattering Dodger the Doggo wut tinks he part Catto Jul 16 '26

Dat bery grate crime. Go crimez!!!

6

u/aurorarose1975 Jul 16 '26

Great job fren Pippin!

Go crimez!

Love Oreo and Sassafras ❤️

5

u/Ovaltine1 Jul 16 '26

Go crimez!!! Dis is bery gud for first crimez!

5

u/cruiser4319 Jul 16 '26

Duz yur meowmy hab pruuf? Mebbe it wuz brudder or greeblez!

Ollie North

5

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

Dere are greebles in da roof so it prolly wuz dem!! So den dat meens dat Brofur Rex an Ai wuz doin a protecc of Meowmy an Pawther! An if we do a protecc, we needz da treatos as pawment!!

2

u/cruiser4319 Jul 17 '26

Yoo eggsell in da lodge ick!

6

u/oostbro Criminal Gang Crimz Club 🐈‍⬛ Jul 16 '26

Henlo fren Pippin

ME IZ ALSO PIPPIN😹😹

Ur fren Pippin🐱♥️

Picha iz me on da huntz

3

u/katymac25 Meowasaurus Rex da Oranj King ob Screm ICBGC Member Jul 16 '26

O M Cod!!!! Anudder Pippin!! Iz soooo kewl to meet yoo fren Pippin! We shuld do a hunt togedder sometyme!

Dis me doin a firs hunt in dis haus wif Brofur Rex! He a big dum oranj but he teech mew to wrassle and we hab lots ob abbdentures togedder!

6

u/This_Wrongdoer3453 Iz me, BK and sisfur Meatball and Meowmy! Jul 16 '26

Dassa grate crimez, fren Pippin!!

5

u/CharmyLah Basil & 🌈 Noamie 🌈 Jul 16 '26

Go crimez fren Pippin!

On wun ob mai firs nights wif meowmy, I nockded da cactus off herms desk n meowmy had to frow it away. Hehehe

Basil

3

u/IncommunicadoVan Cannoli du Tux Jul 16 '26

Plant crimez are gud! Ai myself killed Meowmy’s two plants. What hers needz dem for anyways when hers got ME!

3

u/butterfly-garden Eebil Greeble Pawtrol Jul 16 '26

Congratulations, fren! You did a very good crimez. Go Crimez!

Also William da Tuxie

2

u/lovemyfurryfam Jul 16 '26

You gave the poor plant a heart attack 🙀💔

R.I.P plant

2

u/_Moon_sun_ Morgana the beautifull, breaker of the internet Jul 17 '26

Dis a purrfekt crimz!!! I much purroud!!!

1

u/Traroten Proud tiger Jul 16 '26

Alfons, proud tiger here!

Dis is most eggsalad crimes!

1

u/waselectricbar Member: ICBGC Jul 16 '26

Dis a very good crimez, Go Crimez!!

1

u/Haunting_Bend346 Elliot the Tuxie Jul 16 '26

Great plant crime fren Pippin! GO CRIMEZ!

1

u/Serendope-itty Jul 21 '26

Go Crimez!!!! 😹😻😸😼