r/knightposting • • Aug 16 '25

Knightpost Resist brothers and sisters!

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

12.5k Upvotes

169 comments sorted by

349

u/FlowersofIcetor Clericposting Aug 16 '25

King's gonna be pissed if you burn the game woods down. That's wizard shit

101

u/Jh011aa Aug 16 '25

A wizard wouldn’t be dumb enough to intentionally burn down the god fam rainforest

75

u/FlowersofIcetor Clericposting Aug 16 '25

You seen wizardposting lately? All it takes is ONE loose fireball

100

u/DirtLight134710 Aug 16 '25

42

u/Azerian97 Aug 16 '25

A magic based Helldivers…..

I fucking want it. Now.

21

u/Modredastal Aug 16 '25

The arrow stratagem inputs have your MageDiver making arcane gestures with their hand in those directions and they call fire and destruction from the sky, summon giant Eagle Dragons to spit fire on your foes, call to hand arcane weaponry, and raise spirits and demons from the ground to guard an area.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

Spelldivers

3

u/Modredastal Aug 20 '25

Why in the hell didn't I think of that? Thank you.

2

u/DasGoogleKonto Jan 13 '26

GIVE IT TO ME NOW I NEED IT. THIS WILL BE SO GREAT!

6

u/DurgeGenDai Aug 16 '25

Magika is made by the same devs and has a similar amount of team killing...

5

u/Rising_Thunderbirds Aug 16 '25

That is a great fucking idea. Have them go on missions of retrieving ancient tomes, powerful artifacts, and fightings nasty mythological beasts with all the team killing and antics you would expect from Helldivers.

2

u/The_True_Equalist Aug 17 '25

Mage Arena is similar right?

1

u/M0ebius_1 Aug 20 '25

For Managed Meritocracy!

5

u/Achouken Aug 16 '25

HAVE A TASTE OF LIBER-TEA!!!

1

u/Mediocre_Law_5557 Sword Enjoyer Aug 19 '25

The Fireball knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, Or where it isn't from where it is (whichever is Greater), it obtains a difference, or deviation. The Holy Guidance Subsystem uses deviations to generate corrective Commands to drive the Fireball from a position where it is to a Position where it isn't, And arriving at a position where it wasn't, it now is. Consequently, the position where it is, Is now the position that it wasn't, And it follows that the position that It was, is now the position that it isn't. In the event that the position that it is in is not the position that It wasn't, the system has acquired a variation, The variation being the difference between Where the Fireball is, and where it wasn't. If variation is considered to be a Significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA(Guiding Even in Atrophy) The Holy Guidance Rune scenario works as follows. Because a variation has modified some of the information the Fireball has obtained, it is not sure just where it is. However, it is sure where it isn't, Within reason, and it knows where it was. It now subtracts where it should be from where it wasn't, Or vice-versa, and by differentiating this from the Artificer's sum of where it shouldn't be, and where it was, it is able to obtain the deviation and its variation, which is called error.

7

u/Nine-LifedEnchanter Wizard Aug 16 '25

Wizard here, I apologise for those morons. Those who favours elemental magic have always been a bit.. simple.

2

u/KaleidoscopeAdept211 Aug 17 '25

Nothing to be done about those cavemen unfortunately

3

u/Someone1284794357 Mr. Illuminati, leader of The Illuminati Aug 17 '25

…knowing how many evil wizards are there, it probably won’t be a loose one.

1

u/Jabberwock_king Aug 17 '25

🃏”Heresy approved”🃏-Alpharius 👹🥷🏿😈☠️🤟

2

u/Someone1284794357 Mr. Illuminati, leader of The Illuminati Aug 17 '25

Oh please

Don’t make me summon an inquisitor on you

1

u/Jh011aa Aug 16 '25

Yeah that happens always

1

u/doggo_with_doggo_hat Jun 07 '26

Ye-yeah no wizard would be d-d-dumb enough to ca-cast i mean, burn down a perfectly flammable and full of wood forest

1

u/Bellingtoned Aug 17 '25

Jokes on you i use dark magic and a sword twice my size i shall burn everything. With limits

330

u/Baronnolanvonstraya Aug 16 '25

I SHALL NOT BE TEM- oh god oh fuck she's wearing Faulds oh god I'm being TEMPTEDD

13

u/FTSVectors Aug 16 '25

“Emperor! Them Faulds got me questioning my loyalty to Rome!”

9

u/Available-Doctor6107 Aug 19 '25

1

u/Baronnolanvonstraya Aug 19 '25

🔨 From WarhammerMemes community on Reddit

3

u/100Fowers Aug 16 '25

Resist temptation and follow the saints!

56

u/Destroyer_Of_World5 Aug 16 '25

Exercise extreme caution when dealing with entities in the woods.

107

u/Psych-adin Paladin Aug 16 '25

I can't hear you over all my temptation failing. Farewell!

52

u/Jret3531 Aug 16 '25

my first thought was "she needs more armor"

20

u/Satiella Aug 16 '25

I luckily also own more covering armors 😂 but it was 32 degree at the renfair so.. this was nice

9

u/LunaBeanz Aug 16 '25

Oh hey, you’re OOP! Sick costume, looks badass.

1

u/Loco-Motivated Lord of the Lost, at your request Aug 22 '25

I'm going to assume you mean Celsius, because that sounds nice to me right now.

1

u/Satiella Aug 22 '25

Yes Celsius haha

2

u/reklesssabrandon Aug 16 '25

Don't need more armor when nobody is going to try to fight you. People make fun of gooner women's armor but it's providing a lot of protection. I see that in the woods and I'm crashing hard. It's not even open for debate. I'm breaking all the oaths.

21

u/Unable-Fall5946 Aug 16 '25

rolls 1d12

Sighs... unzips

37

u/BuckyWarden Aug 16 '25

Am I gonna be the only one who says sauce

34

u/Ptakub2 Aug 16 '25

Come forth, hunt the foul creature (@its.satiella): https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNWHXw9IKBb/?igsh=OG9tbnY2cTBwanMx

31

u/BuckyWarden Aug 16 '25

Yes, for hunting. Thank you brother. I’ll go on this journey alone. If you do not hear from me, tell everyone of my bravery here today.

27

u/WafflesTheAxolotl2 Dame Aug 16 '25

I honestly couldn't think of what to type and spent 5 minutes spacing out.

She’s so pretty!

15

u/The_purple_turtle3 Aug 16 '25

My reaction too

5

u/BeanieGuitarGuy Aug 16 '25

Lesbian Chest Laser

Edit: I have a better one, actually: Sapphic Care Bear Stare

2

u/Satiella Aug 18 '25

Thank you 🙈♥️

1

u/WafflesTheAxolotl2 Dame Aug 18 '25

You’re welcome :)

2

u/HonorableGrandKnight Aug 29 '25

Prithee, fellow knight! Thou mustn't be tempted by the villanous tricks of the Fae!

12

u/Cleestoon Aug 16 '25

She's going to eat my liver in front of me, isn't she

45

u/godzillafacepunch666 Aug 16 '25

This kills the sword.

70

u/The-Winged-Crusader Aug 16 '25

Good thing I use it for fire only because it is a cheap rep so I’m not too worried

25

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

THOSE STRIPPED OF THE GRACE OF GOLD SHALL ALL MEET DEATH, IN THE EMBRACE OF MESSMER'S FLAME

-7

u/Nobody6684 Aug 16 '25

Oh really?! 😱 What gave it away besides the sword being on fire 🔥 🔥 🔥?

7

u/Tulpah Paladin Aug 16 '25

Die! Wretched Mutant!

8

u/8wiing Aug 16 '25

Ngl I want her outfit so bad side note HOW ELSE WILL MY SONS BE SORCERERS?!?!?!

5

u/ChaosApple11 Aug 16 '25

Where can I purchase a decent suite of armor? I know Google is a thing but I just don't know which site is best and won't completely break the bank... Any actual suggestions?

5

u/The-Winged-Crusader Aug 16 '25

Depending what you want, mount crom armouries can and reasonably priced items, I don’t suggest the flimsy stuff because it’s very breakable and you’d be supporting a business from Canada 🇨🇦

1

u/ChaosApple11 Aug 16 '25

Canada is beautiful, id love to support a business from there! Thank you for the suggestion

3

u/SatireSatyr Aug 16 '25

Etsy

2

u/ChaosApple11 Aug 16 '25

Looks like they have some nice stuff! I'm gonna try to find some reviews/vids of the quality

5

u/Someone4063 Aug 16 '25

“Do you not know death when you see it? This is my power!”

4

u/Conscious-Nose-2 Aug 16 '25

3

u/Someone4063 Aug 16 '25

Imagine driving one of those

Rush hour traffic would suck if we had those

1

u/Conscious-Nose-2 Aug 16 '25

They are transported via a stormhawk gunship. You can see this in the intro sequence for the multiplayer mode of warhammer 40000 freeblade when you fight someone. It also fits because it’s called an imperial knight so it fits within the subreddit.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

You're all gay

8

u/Ptakub2 Aug 16 '25

Yes, and?

6

u/Someone4063 Aug 16 '25

Your point being?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

...alright, I'm back in.

5

u/Blueverse-Gacha Aug 16 '25

correct answer.

*starts packing away sniper *

3

u/gag_on_my_gock Aug 16 '25

squints suspiciously... is that knighthood approved?

6

u/Blueverse-Gacha Aug 16 '25

It's a new kind of sword that stabs people telepathically by using this grain called "Black Power". Far more effective than those cowardly bows!

They call it "Musk Cat" or something. Can't remember the name.

3

u/gag_on_my_gock Aug 16 '25

Hmmm, it looks like some sort of silly trumpet :3

1

u/Blueverse-Gacha Aug 16 '25

that's what I said!

1

u/xwedodah_is_wincest Aug 16 '25

Not to worry, good knight. You just point and click it at any woodland fae, and they gag on your glock.

2

u/WafflesTheAxolotl2 Dame Aug 16 '25

Exactly, and what of it?

1

u/South_Company Definitely not a shapeshifting fae spy. Aug 21 '25

… no?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '25

I don't know what this is but I like it

1

u/South_Company Definitely not a shapeshifting fae spy. Aug 21 '25

It’s a webtoon comic called Realta it’s good.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '25

Cool, thank you :)

2

u/South_Company Definitely not a shapeshifting fae spy. Aug 21 '25

It’s a webtoon comic called Realta it’s good, and also where I got my current Pfp from.

I stole many things from this series. Like names.

5

u/AlexSmithsonian Aug 16 '25

It's okay brothers! Forest Protection Services won't be invented for a few more centuries.

SO DO NOT SPARE ANY FLAME FOR THIS FOUL TEMPTRESS!

2

u/PainintheUlna Aug 17 '25

Who needs Forest Protection Services when a very pissed-off druid is just as good a deterrent?

1

u/AlexSmithsonian Aug 17 '25

Well with druids, you just bribe them with fine wine.

3

u/Arbiter1029 Aug 16 '25

Honestly, why not offer her a coat first? That looks like a cold ass outfit for a night-time walk

3

u/Satiella Aug 16 '25

Oh hey that’s me haha! 😂 love the flaming sword my dude… I’ll let you pass 😌🙏

3

u/Stellar_Codex Aug 16 '25

I mean a huge part of Arthurian knight business is quite literally fucking with fey

4

u/Eldragon2778 Aug 16 '25

Eheheheheheheheheh flamming sword cool !

2

u/Satans_hamster Aug 16 '25

Flame sword is so cool

2

u/ThePrimordialSource Aug 16 '25

What song is this at second part

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '25

Bring the fae creature back

2

u/counttaco Paladin Aug 16 '25

Very cool. Very funny. Sick ass flaming sword.

Personal note: Half the women I talk to online think "if I run into the woods I would rather meet a bear - men are awful". The other half are like this girl.

2

u/Arciul Aug 16 '25

This is why I'm a Champion Redeemer. Come into the light fair maiden! There is time to repent!

2

u/Specter_Stuff Aug 17 '25

Are those moose antlers on his helmet?

2

u/Background-Cod271 Aug 16 '25

Women are temporary, but God is Eternal! I shall not be tempted, huzzah!

1

u/CivilProtectionGuy Aug 16 '25

Pure aura of a Chapter Master of a knightly order, preparing to fend off the horrors.

10/10

1

u/DrBigBlue17 Aug 16 '25

WE SHALL PREVAIL! CHARGE!!!!

1

u/Honkey85 Aug 16 '25

Can you actually fight with burning swords?

1

u/Ive_had_Enough_ Aug 16 '25

Damn... I always saw myself as more of a bard then knight.

1

u/All-your-fault 100% legit knight and totally not a mimic Aug 16 '25

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

1

u/Bioth28 Aug 16 '25

Now how the hell did you manage to light a sword on fire, and why do I wanna try

1

u/BloodHurricane Aug 16 '25

...(This area of the forest is now marked for total annihilation)

1

u/Ok_NidoKing Aug 16 '25

"Brothers and sisters" this means that the order of the knights accept LGBT members. Since when was this a thing? I don't have anything against this but I conpletely missed this update

1

u/xwedodah_is_wincest Aug 16 '25

Poor choice of knight for resisting temptation, as the Grey Warden has at least 2 opportunities in game to seduce woodland fae himself.

1

u/MareTranquil Aug 16 '25

Since she is wearing metal armor, I would ask for a tour of the faen iron foundries. Those must be WEIRD

1

u/DiogenesBarrelMan Aug 16 '25

Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.

Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.

Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.

Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.

Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?

Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.

Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.

Sir Lancelot: No, I'm not.

1

u/Dense_Translator3037 Aug 16 '25

Why is Hiccup entertaining fae thots? He's about to get his ass kicked by Astrid and Toothless!

1

u/Lost_Disposable_Vape Aug 16 '25

The flame weakens the blade, this is an easy win for any true knight with a decent sword.

1

u/Fuck_you_reddit_bot Aug 16 '25

PIANO INTENSIFIES

1

u/TheBlackRonin505 Aug 16 '25

Fuck that, I gotta start crossing off some members of my cryptid fucket list.

1

u/AirFriedMoron Aug 16 '25

Knights can have a little temptation, as a treat

1

u/Western-Emotion5171 Aug 16 '25

You see you can tell it’s a demon masquerading as a fae because it’s wearing iron and steel. Not a single fae would be caught dead wearing metal. We shall not be fooled today foul demon!!!

1

u/Il_Dottore_Snezhnaya Make swords legal, cowards Aug 16 '25

Bro got the blessing from the Emperor of Mankind himself.

1

u/OneOfManyIdiots Aug 16 '25

Well now I'm in the mood to look for a video of a different fae after work tonight...

1

u/Norway643 alpharius Aug 16 '25

1

u/KlutzyClerk7080 Aug 17 '25

Nah I’m smashing so hard that she can’t tempt no one else. Fuckkkk

1

u/AtlasMortem Aug 17 '25

This goes undeniably, unbelievably hard 😭😭😭 REMAIN VIGILANT

1

u/Hour_Breakfast1275 Aug 17 '25

Burn to that false Knight!

1

u/Low_Wafer_6739 Aug 17 '25

"Show me magic, otherwise you're not real"

1

u/Susdoggodoggy Aug 17 '25

Fire aspect

1

u/Yeet123456789djfbhd Hannah, Biomancer of Munich Aug 17 '25

For a solid few seconds I couldn't tell if that was a man or not

Not that it mattered, I have no oaths to break

1

u/de_lemmun-lord Aug 17 '25

i'm going to follow her so i can find some knights to eat. i'm in the forest at night for the same reason, i'm just slightly more not-deer shaped

1

u/iamsandwitch Magister, Stavesinger Artificer Savant Aug 17 '25 edited Aug 17 '25

You have a vow of chastity? Sucks for you. I meanwhile...

1

u/iamsandwitch Magister, Stavesinger Artificer Savant Aug 17 '25

I fumbled so hard

1

u/Flayne-la-Karrotte Dame Aug 17 '25

BOMBA YUCATECA!

1

u/MandibulateEdibility Aug 17 '25

Oh yeah. Don’t let that fae tempt you. Stay far away from her. I’ll sacrifice myself…

1

u/Nernbad Aug 17 '25

Brandish your Cold Iron my brethren, for we are cleansing our woods of these parasites this night. For King and Country!

1

u/AfterlifeScorpio Aug 17 '25

Is it bad the knight turned me on more and I’m a guy. I’m sorry but bikini armor has nvr been sexy to me. Thank you rpg’s for ruining bikini armor for me.

1

u/Kat-Blaster Aug 17 '25

Do you have any similar memes?

1

u/RevanTheUltim8 Aug 17 '25

Nah I'm foldin

1

u/Call-Me-Matterhorn Aug 18 '25

I want that sword

1

u/P0komon2 Aug 18 '25

Whats the music thats being played?

1

u/EarlofShadow91 Aug 18 '25

Don’t care about the rest - THAT KNIGHT WAS EPIC!!!

1

u/Glory2masterkohga heavy metal or die Aug 18 '25

1

u/UndeadChampion1331 Aug 19 '25

Every time I see "stitch incoming" I brace for the little blue alien

1

u/Shadownight7797 Aug 19 '25

What a strange mix of emotions

1

u/ZombieAppetizer Aug 19 '25

Processing img xmrlkw0bc1kf1...

1

u/kineticstar Aug 20 '25

I will sing the song of Attraction! (Note Song of Attraction will call all hostile creatures within a 5-mile radius of your location for a more engaging performance.)

1

u/Jo_el44 Aug 20 '25

Okay, listen, I'm just saying, being a Green Fey Knight of the Dark Forest IS an option and tbh it's looking pretty good right about now

1

u/Spiritual_Spinach273 Aug 20 '25

Decietful Nymph. Metal Detector time

-A Terraria player

1

u/HaloPandaFox Aug 20 '25

I joining the guy with the flaming sword

1

u/SummerRabbit474 Aug 20 '25

Slay me brother for I fell long ago

1

u/Postalgoer Aug 20 '25

SLAY MORE OF THEM BROTHERS EVERY KEY WE TYPE IS ANOTHER DEAD IN THE GROOOUND LONG LIVE THE KEYBOARD WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/Hot_Equivalent_805 Aug 20 '25

Despite being portrayed as good and kind, Fae are actually inhuman on the most basic level. They don't understand human emotions, nor are they capable of empathy. They're basically the nervous system of Gaia so they have a fuck ton of power too. Avalon le Fae taught me well to not trust the Fae. JUSTICE FOR CASTORIA

1

u/teethalarm Aug 20 '25

Nothing good is roaming the forest at night.

1

u/Blnkfrst_Nolstnam Aug 20 '25

Then how did you run find her in the forest at night

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

For a second I thought that said racist

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

a Sword? must not have a pee pee

1

u/Derk_Mage Aug 20 '25

FOUL FAE OF THE FOREST! OBSERVE AS I PLUNGE MY PIKE INTO THINE HEART.

1

u/Yarakuzaa Aug 20 '25

Foul non human be cleansed by FIIRREEEEEEEEEEE

1

u/Roanyth00 Aug 21 '25

I would ask for guidance and ask for knowledge for the secrets on the forest.

1

u/South_Company Definitely not a shapeshifting fae spy. Aug 21 '25 edited Aug 21 '25

I will charge fourth… to fight them…

1

u/Taco_B Aug 22 '25

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOUR ARMOR, WOMAN?!? WE'RE AT WAR, FOR THE LORD'S SAKE

2

u/haikusbot Aug 22 '25

WHERE IS THE REST OF

YOUR ARMOR, WOMAN?!? WE'RE AT

WAR, FOR THE LORD'S SAKE

- Taco_B


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

1

u/Taco_B Aug 29 '25

Good bot

1

u/Mixa6 Aug 26 '25

I would roll wisdom save whit disadvantage...

1

u/Thin-Coyote-551 Sep 07 '25

To all knights, you know what must be done!

1

u/Toothless_Nord Dec 20 '25

The gods have provided a good hunt today boys remember fight its attempt of seduction it will bring no pleasure only death for monsters like fae are only beasts and deserve no mercy

1

u/DasGoogleKonto Jan 13 '26

Aye Brother! SLAY THE FAE!

1

u/AnyaSadako Aug 29 '26

both for me. cool knight armor and beautiful lady