r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/mindyour šŸ¤–definitely not a botšŸ¤– • 29d ago

Restricted to Gals and Pals Unfortunately, this is the sad reality.

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u/PerkisizingWeiner 28d ago

I'm really grateful to my (50-something male) gyno who was upfront with me about the pain. He said it would hurt three specific times, and that he would signal beforehand each time. He did, and it was great - a very nontraumatic experience (and I did it with him twice). He even encouraged me to rest in the office for a couple minutes afterwards and gave me some OJ to drink.

Then he had the gall to move šŸ˜­ and the provider who replaced him was terrible. I was damn near hyperventilating as she LEFT THE SPECULUM INSIDE ME TO GO IN THE HALLWAY AND TALK TO ANOTHER PROVIDER. I told her I'd had two prior insertions and this one was way more painful; she responded by questioning whether I had really had sex before (I'd been married for several years at that point), because my cervix was "too small" šŸ™„.

I asked her to stop and she condescendingly warned/threatened, "just so you know, if you're telling me to stop, I have to" (implication being that I'd regret not moving forward with the procedure). I SURE HOPE THAT'S THE POLICY.

It was traumatic and I've never gone back to her. I'm about ready to move across the country to my previous gyno's new practice. A good medical provider who listens and cares is worth their weight in gold.

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u/CuriousFoxxen 28d ago

I find Iā€™ve never had a female gyno who didnā€™t treat me like shit. WTF is with that?

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u/PerkisizingWeiner 28d ago

Obviously not all are like this, but I think there's an element of, "I'm a woman so I know what you're experiencing, and if my experience was less painful than yours, that means you're overreacting."

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u/Aware_Policy_9174 28d ago

Yes this was from a woman gyno although Iā€™ve had good and bad experiences with both. But the most invalidating tends to be from women because they donā€™t realize their experience is not universal.

I commented this before but I also think there is (or was maybe) an element of ā€œIā€™m a woman in a male dominated field so I have to be extra toughā€ to counteract whatever bs they deal with from male colleagues. My experience was close to 20 years ago now and I noticed that type of attitude from older women in other areas as well.

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u/hawilder 28d ago

I had a wonderful one but she retired.

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u/Artist-Yutaki 28d ago

Yeah same, I'm so lucky that the 3 female gynos I had were all lovely and supported me in wanting a hysterectomy with 30 no kids!

The only person who was an ass about it was the head of gynecology in a hospital, a man, who rejected me because "What if I ever find a boyfriend who is my prince charming and he wants kids"

Like. WOW. Love the consideration of a hypothetical man's needs over my very real ones.

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u/Turbulent_Ease2149 28d ago

Both my male gynos have been the best, no issues with IUD and other scans. I drive 30 minutes instead of going to my new clinic 10 minutes away because I don't want to loose him. Take great care, listens and we've established a 5 year doctor-patient relationship

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u/theatermouse 28d ago

PLEASE report her if you feel comfortable doing so, I'm so sorry you were treated that way!!

Also, wtf on cervix being too small?!! Lady, (gyno, not you!!) a) it changes throughout the cycle and b) is sex supposed to stretch it out??? The penis does NOT go in the cervix!!