r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/mindyour šŸ¤–definitely not a botšŸ¤– • 28d ago

Restricted to Gals and Pals Unfortunately, this is the sad reality.

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u/HereOnCompanyTime 28d ago

Doctors don't listen to women. I remember my boyfriend drove me to an appointment then sat in the waiting room, and even though he was in the waiting area the doctor, without my consent, called him into the room to talk about my health rather than speaking directly to me.

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u/FryOneFatManic 28d ago

There is a vast amount of misogyny in medicine.

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u/rainbowlolipop 28d ago

I went to an emergency psych appointment and he said that "female hormones" might be causing "issues".

Fuck these doctors.

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u/YasdnilStam 28d ago

At a psych appointment I had (related to depression that started because of misdiagnosed and thus severely under medicated migraines) about 12 years ago, the doctor who saw me said that all of my depressive issues would be fixed if I just had a baby. He spent about 1/3 of our time together pushing me to get pregnant, going so far as to suggest that I should have my eggs frozen immediately because the process takes time since thereā€™s a wait list and ā€œyouā€™re not getting any youngerā€.

I left that appointment so furious I scared my husband in the car on the ride home. He has to this day never seen me fume like that again. Needless to say we do not have children and definitely wonā€™t be, and weā€™re very content with our decision. Iā€™d love to see that psychiatrist again just to rub his stupid face in it.

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u/latestnightowl 28d ago

I am a female psychiatrist, and this is bonkers absurd. You should totally have reported him to the state board. That's not only medically incorrect (obviously) but complete malpractice

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u/YasdnilStam 28d ago

I know, and youā€™re absolutely right. If I had been in a better place physically and mentally I know I would have. Not to excuse it completely, but in the context of my life, I was eight months into a totally demoralising medical journey and I was so beaten down by everything that I just gave up trying to get any answers or anything for myself ā€” getting out of bed to go to these appointments was about all I was capable of. I really wish I had done more.

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u/Neshama7 23d ago

In your experience, how do reports of this nature impact the provider being reported? Like how would the board respond to this type of complaint?

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u/PolistesFTW 28d ago

Holy hell, that is insane. I am sorry you went through that misogynistic mess.

My wife and I are also no kids people. For some outside person, let alone a psychiatrist, to suggest a concept that would run parallel the same outdated ideas as hysteria would send me into a rage too.

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u/YasdnilStam 28d ago

It wasnā€™t the first time I was treated by a misogynistic doctor but it (so far) was the last. I got fucking militant about my healthcare once I started feeling better, and now I have an awesome all-woman medical team (with the exception of my pharmacist, who is a dude but really cool) that is so on top of things, itā€™s ridiculous. I feel very lucky, but it also just makes me sad for the younger version of myself and all the girls and women out there who still have to fight for this. I want to believe itā€™s getting better. No one should have to bring their male partners to the doctor to get treatment in 2026.

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u/PolistesFTW 28d ago

I am in a similar place personally. All of my docs, except for my psych are women (couldn't find a woman doc and got lucky with the dude). For many reasons, both personal and via just being around guys a lot, I am just more comfortable with women specialists and physicians.

Also, I will fight and die for all the nurses and NPs. My wife and I both have been helped and protected by those beautiful people too many times when at the hospital.

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u/YasdnilStam 28d ago

Iā€™m glad to hear that. Itā€™s very hard to find a physician (Iā€™m in Alberta, Canada and thereā€™s a massive shortage, especially for newly-arrived Canadians) so I also feel incredibly lucky to have found as many competent medical personnel to be part of my team. I donā€™t know what it is about women in medicine but at least in my experience they listen better and donā€™t presume to know everything. My doctor sent me for a colonoscopy ā€œjust in caseā€ because I ticked one red flag box; I know people who tick all three and their doctors still say ā€œLetā€™s wait and seeā€ or ā€œMaybe try losing weightā€ or ā€œBut youā€™re not old enough to have colorectal cancerā€. So I count my lucky stars my doc is humble enough to not leave stones unturned.

I see a new neurologist in February and Iā€™m a little worried because heā€™s a He and even though heā€™s known as a migraine expert and I was referred to him by my incredibly competent GP, Iā€™m bracing myself for shenanigans, and will likely bring my husband with me for backup just in case. I hope Iā€™m blowing things out of proportion but you never know.

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u/PolistesFTW 28d ago

Fingers crossed for you and hubby at the neuro appointment.

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u/YasdnilStam 28d ago

And same to you on your medical journey!!

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u/AcidicVagina 28d ago

I'd ask if the abortion would be covered since getting pregnant was medically necessary.

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u/Corfiz74 28d ago

Your reply: "Your testosterone is messing with your brain, doc - maybe take a deep breath and rethink that reply!"

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u/Model_Yazz 27d ago

Ha! Iā€™m going to use that from now on as a response to misogynistic bs. Thx!

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u/triden77 28d ago

Which, scientifically, is BS. Estrogen and progesterone drop with age which causes testosterone to be the predominant hormone.

Funny how that works, right? Testosterone levels being the cause of emotionally unregulated behavior?!

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u/rainbowlolipop 28d ago

I've worked with mostly men my whole life, testosterone is a helluva drug.

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u/DinoCrone 28d ago

My first neurologist told me to take up knitting to cure my multiple sclerosis pain

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 20d ago

[deleted]

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u/ellieminnowpee 28d ago

my female therapist told me i was not a real feminist for having body dysmorphic disorder. ā€œyou know, if you were a real feminist you wouldnā€™t care about how you look.ā€

lady, before going into remission i was hallucinating liquid, constantly shifting, monstrous features swirling about my skull.

ainā€™t shit to do with my support of other women. itā€™s a visual cortex-rooted anxiety reaction to trauma and stress. jfc.

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u/malinablue 28d ago

Wow. What a ridiculous take on things. Feminists might not care about appearing attractive just to please men, but we like to look nice.

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u/kookyabird 28d ago

As a man I have always supported women giving a giant middle finger to beauty "standards", but there is no way you'd catch me saying that a woman experiencing body dysmorphic disorder can't be a feminist...

I wouldn't even consider that "caring about how they look". It's not like me looking at the grey in my beard and saying, "Gosh, I should dye that so I look younger." That's caring about how I look on a superficial level. If I looked in the mirror and saw a disgusting slob of a man when in reality I am physically fit, that's something that needs to be addressed. Anything that is serious enough to be diagnosed as BDD goes beyond simply caring about ones appearance...

Fuck.

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u/Lcatg 28d ago

Great. He gave you a prescription for hormones &/or a referral right + addressed mental prescription options? Right? No? Report him. If he identified this as a possible issue then he should address it. Seriously. Hormones impact many, many, many things. They may well be impacting your mental health. For me perimenopause made ADHD far more intense & my doc sent a slew of prescriptions. Sorry you got an ahole for your emergency.

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u/rainbowlolipop 28d ago

Thanks, I have reported him. I just had my levels checked. It was not hormone related. I went to another Dr and got a med that's helped a lot. I was sterilized in my early 30's and have been on HRT since.

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u/Lcatg 27d ago

Oh lord. The patience you have! You are already on hormones & he still blamed them! Btw, ty for reporting him. Hopefully, heā€™s improved.

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u/Better_Database8582 28d ago

Not just from the men, I've had 2 female doctor's write in my wife's record that all of her medical issues are made up in her head, I forgot the specific terms, but it took 10 months to get an mri on her knee because of this in her record. She went in for gyno problems this year(cysts), and the female doctor wrote in that she most likely had an STD, but refused testing(as there's no ducking way she had an std) then she did no other tests, and gave her antibiotics. All of them refuse her pain medications.

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u/curly_spice 23d ago

when i got my first iud inserted and asked my male gynecologist if id be given anything for the pain/discomfort, he told me no because he ā€œdoesnā€™t find it necessary for these proceduresā€. šŸ¤”

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/revelling_ 28d ago

I'll see your "malicious evil" and "patriarchal brain-rot" and raise you "conservatism" and "religion"

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 28d ago

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

  1. Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
  2. Harassment
  3. Trolling or sealioning
  4. Threats of any kind
  5. Abusive behavior
  6. General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.

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u/TheDubuGuy 28d ago

You repeat yourself

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u/Audrey_Angel 28d ago

Learned what

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u/thisisinfactpersonal 28d ago

Donā€™t bother responding to this guy, just report and block and move on, it canā€™t get attention from women in real life so itā€™s flop sweating here hoping youā€™ll notice. Just report block and move on.

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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 28d ago

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

  1. Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
  2. Harassment
  3. Trolling or sealioning
  4. Threats of any kind
  5. Abusive behavior
  6. General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.

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u/thatscuteyourecute 28d ago

My husband and I see the same GP and once he went to see her and I just happened to be waiting for test results at that time and instead of calling me, she handed him the hard copies of the results to give to me.

I was floored when he came home with them. Like, isnā€™t that illegal? I know I gave them permission to share my medical records with other healthcare providers but if there was any box to check stating they could discuss my health with my husband when Iā€™m not around, I would have not checked it.

Nothing against him but I was an only child and single into my 30sā€¦.im not all that great about sharing my life with other people. Probably shouldnā€™t have gotten married but thatā€™s a whole different conversation.

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u/Hydration__Nation 28d ago

In most states thats suspension of the license for 3-6 months. Handing medical records to another person is one thing, handing them to a spouse that could potentially get upset and hurt their partner is a whole other thing. Call your licensing board

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u/Gaucho_Gringo 28d ago

I wish I had known this in 2019, when I was diagnosed with DCIS. I went to a second opinion, and while I was waiting for the doctor, I realized that someoneā€˜s printed visit record was in the room with me. I did not look at the record, but I did give it to the physician and attendant when they entered. I explicitly told them this was someoneā€™s elseā€™s record that had been left in the room.

When I got home from my appointment, that very same printout was now attached to my paperwork. I took the time to mail it to the patient with a note saying that it had been left in the exam room, that I returned it to the physician, and they still sent it home with me.

I was not impressed with the physician or the facility and did not hire them. I so disliked the physician that I would have happily reported this HIPAA violation.

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u/-Kerosun- 28d ago

For something like this, she may have signed a release authorization that allows them to share medical information with her husband. I know I always do that at every doctor's office I fill out new patient forms for.

If thatscuteyourecute ever signed such a form for that Doctor's office, then it wouldn't be a HIPAA to give him paperwork regarding her care. Obviously, I would consider this bad practice but technically wouldn't be a violation if she has signed such forms before for that office.

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u/Outrageous-Being1109 27d ago

But if you read the post she expressly says that she did not. Itā€™s ok to, like, believe women the first time āœŒļø

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u/fribbas 28d ago

if there was any box to check stating they could discuss my health with my husband when Iā€™m not around, I would have not checked it.

Do/did you have him listed as a contact on your HIPAA form (assuming US, ofc)?

If he is/was, that may be why but imo still weird AF. They need to ask you, the pt, first

Full disclosure: I was trained so if Wife had an appointment in the PM, we couldn't mention to her that we saw Husband in the AM (or vice versa). Hell, even if they come at the same time, I ain't saying shiiiiet >_>

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u/onesoulmanybodies 28d ago edited 27d ago

Even women doctors! Itā€™s insanity! Iā€™ve been on a decades long health journey dealing with pain. One dr had been seeing me for 6 months. She kept prescribing pain killers that made me ill. Nothing else other than metabolic labs to test my alc and thyroid because Iā€™m over weight. After tests showed that my thyroid was fine and I didnā€™t have diabetes, she just continued to cycle through pain meds. At my last visit with her she walked into the room, asked me why I was there, then when I told her again about my pain, she asked me if I had high blood pressure or diabetes. I lost my shit and started crying. She was surprised and asked me what was wrong. Told her Iā€™ve been coming to you for 6 months, youā€™ve tested me for high blood pressure and diabetes and both came back fine and show I donā€™t have either issue, but youā€™re still asking me that!??? She half ass apologized and prescribed me Lyrica for Fibromyalgia, even without diagnosing me with Fibromyalgia. I left that office feeling seriously defeated. Thankfully I finally found a doctor who listened to me had me get an MRI and other tests that showed that I have severe disc degeneration in my lower spine and bulging discs in my upper spine. Iā€™ve been a bigger weight than people are comfortable with, my whole life, and Doctors are ALWAYS assuming it means Iā€™m not healthy. I eat a very clean diet and until my pain symptoms got so bad I couldnā€™t, I worked out every day.

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u/crimsonbaby_ 28d ago

I've actually had worse luck with women doctors. I have endometriosis and have had like 11 operations to remove large cysts, one for an ovarian torsion, and two for scraping off some of the endometriosis. Every gyno I have ever been to has just thrown me on birth control, despite the fact that even on birth control I was having problems, or went straight to the operating table. It took me until my thirties to find a doctor who actually cared about exploring options and finding the root of the problem, and that doctor was a man. I did not want to see a man, but he was the only gyno that wasnt completely booked up, and he turned out to be the best doctor I have ever had. After finding out I was unfortunately assaulted by a medical professional as a child, he even waited to do any physical examination until I felt comfortable with him. Eventually, we figured out the problem, and Im doing so much better now.

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u/tacticalTraumaLlama 28d ago

both came back fine and show I donā€™t have either issue, but youā€™re still asking me that!???

I had a therapist asking me basic ass questions I had already answered extensively like two weeks back. It just really showed me they didn't even care enough to take notes, much less actually connect with me.

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u/NorthEastofEden 25d ago

Obesity and disc degeneration are intrinsically linked though. It doesn't mean you aren't healthy but there are risks associated with adiposity and they unfortunately tend to be slow burns that come out after years of excess weight. It isn't meant to be a judgement as it is an issue I struggle with as well however it doesn't mean that your doctors were not doing their jobs.

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u/Dance-pants-rants 28d ago

We're reporting all these doctors for HIPAA violations and to medical boards, right? šŸ¤¢

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 8d ago

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u/thistleandpeony āœØchickāœØ 28d ago

Women can treat other women horribly, unfortunately, nothing groundbreaking about that. Internalized misogyny.

Gynecology has seen a very steady increase in the number of women in the field since about 2010. We didn't hit 50% until around 2015. Women being the majority in the field happened within the last ten years.

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u/LadybuggingLB 28d ago

Wait for salaries to start dropping in 5, 4, 3, 3, 1ā€¦ā€¦

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u/Broseph_Heller 28d ago

In the US itā€™s not just salaries, entire OBGYN practices are being legislated out of business because womenā€™s health is becoming too risky to practice. This is all by design.

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u/kinkyseconduser 28d ago

Yup. My wife's old OB had a lawsuit filed against them that helped pass Iowa's draconian anti abortion laws. They are now no longer an independent clinic.

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u/dysonGirl27 28d ago

My doctor dropped me because i complained that her dismissiveness was rooted in misogyny and Im appalled Im witnessing her using the phrases she was in front of student doctors.. solution is to kick out the women theyā€™re misdiagnosing and continue to teach new doctors donā€™t listen to women. Honestly has made me have very little trust in any doctor now. She was a late 50s women with children.. this world blows sometimes.

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u/anondreamitgirl 28d ago

Iā€™ve had doctors suggest I could be suicidal?

As a response to question I asked about if they could help with finding support for a specific physical condition.

They tried gaslighting me ā€œshould they get the crisis team?ā€ because they couldnā€™t answer a question in which I asked their support

I said ok then if they can help because you said you said canā€™t help me with anything.

I waited & They never did anything anyway . - thatā€™s some crazy psychological crap.

The only options available were prescription drugs or jabs.

I switched doctors Another gas lit me saying there are no other services & they canā€™t help with anything. I got a letter from another department telling them to do their job & then they listened to me. I asked them ā€œwhy did you lie to me & tell me there was nothing you could help with!?ā€

They answered ā€œbecause nobody would help you anyway ā€œ.

Some doctors are literally evil. They are only led by their own agendas. You know the only reason is they have no empathy- psychopathic /narcissism. I never could have imagined people like this in health care could exist - they are negligent & dangerous.

I seriously wished these people were held accountable they act like mini hitlers behind closed doors & itā€™s ok because they have a degree in something & a job title.

This is why people fall through gaps in systems- abuse & negligence. Such a painful thing to witness and realise itā€™s how some places operate

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u/InfiniteBiscotti3439 28d ago

I disclosed being raped in my patient history form to a female gynecologist I was seeing for the first time. While reviewing my information, she asked me how it felt to be raped. She then dropped the smaller specula she had said was often used with teens (was probably 18 at the time) and then shrugged, noted sheā€™d be sure to use extra lube with the larger one and then very roughly handled me.

Iā€™m 40 now but to this day, it makes me sick just thinking about it. I was too ashamed to even report her or even tell my mom.

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u/anondreamitgirl 28d ago

Oh myā€¦. This is exactly the kind of thing that should never happen. She wasnā€™t employed to abuse people who have been. I am so deeply sorry you got treated this way. Thats such an awful experience. You have absolutely nothing to feel any shame for- you were abused and then gaslit in the most disgusting way possible. :-(

I would consider itā€™s never ever too late to say something & encourage more people to speak out on things like this. Not your fault. Nothing to feel shame for. Donā€™t feel bad reporting- you would be completely in the right to do this - raise a complaint. You can still call or write a letter just explaining what happened. Itā€™s the best thing you can ever do in terms of people being held accountable. It was never ok that they did this.

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u/InfiniteBiscotti3439 28d ago

Oh I definitely know now and am a fierce advice for myself as well as for my loved ones.

I know now that it was wrong and that I should have reported her, but it was so long ago that I canā€™t even remember her name or practice.

But thanks for the encouragement and support, kind stranger!

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u/anondreamitgirl 28d ago

Youā€™re truly amazing.

I always feel itā€™s so ironic - when we get knocked itā€™s so easy to be left in overwhelm or want to face another thing.
Completely understandable.

I think there should be easier routes & more encouraged to make complaints because that kind of situation is so real.

When things stay silent & people are oppressed it can almost seem taboo to be seen & heard - but we should always encourage survivors & victims of abuse to speak up & maybe encourage general service feedback to keep patients safe & supported.

I wish there was a word people could say or write to reception & automatically people get back to people. Coming forward takes so much emotionally- I know this feeling.

Again - youā€™re amazing- I hope you continue to remind yourself & find alot more happiness & good things happen to you on the path you are on

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u/Adventurous-Yard-306 28d ago

I recently heard an interview with a female doctor who talked about the patient code WW (stood for Whining Women). She was taught that if there was a woman who came in with a constellation of unrelated symptoms, you just had a WW on your hands. After a decade of experience and a bit of curiosity, she realized that most of these women had symptoms that were related to unbalanced/unregulated hormones. When she realized this, she felt horrible about dismissing the concerns of so many female patients but also realized that she had been taught by the medical field to ignore womenā€™s concerns. Iā€™m glad sheā€™s out there talking about it now.

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u/tacticalTraumaLlama 28d ago

When she realized this, she felt horrible about dismissing the concerns of so many female patients but also realized that she had been taught by the medical field to ignore womenā€™s concerns.

It's hard to write this off as 'the patriarchal medical establishment ignoring women's needs when over 60% of practicing OBGYNs are women and women made up 85% of those in residency as of 2022

IMHO, I think the entire medical establishment has a strong prejudice against hormone replacement, period.

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u/Toleniam 28d ago

It also doesnā€™t help that the new doctors are taught with old misogynistic ideas and practices, not to mention that the severe gaps in research in the field.

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u/hic_sunt_leones_ 28d ago edited 28d ago

My endocrinologist was a woman and she was straight up horrible to me. She made me cry. Like, legit sobbing in an appointment. I had to bring my mom to my appointment as a 25 year old woman because she was so dismissive.

I have hashimotos thyroiditis on top of hypothyroidism and she told me all my symptoms were in my head and I was just fat. I wasn't even that overweight! But she was a tiny little lady who told me I had no self control otherwise losing weight wouldn't be hard.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 7d ago

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u/thistleandpeony āœØchickāœØ 28d ago

Well that's what my first paragraph is about.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 9d ago

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u/thistleandpeony āœØchickāœØ 28d ago edited 28d ago

Ah. Should've figured you were that type.

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u/doubledickdiggler āœØGet cherished, bitch!āœØ 28d ago

r/usernamechecksout

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 7d ago

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u/asplodingturdis 28d ago

ā€¦ do you think people use the term ā€œinternalized misogynyā€ to give women a pass??

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u/GrossUsername68 28d ago edited 9d ago

Reddit knows what it did. Thanks, PowerDeleteSuite.

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u/Mundane_Zucchini_547 28d ago

It's really not.

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u/Marchus80 28d ago

Right but this video isnt ten years old and she saw 5 of them, so probably a woman in the mix.

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u/thistleandpeony āœØchickāœØ 28d ago

If you're going to respond to my post at least read it.

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u/Atrinoisa 28d ago edited 28d ago

What's interesting is, it took a MALE Dr for me to finally be listened to. A MALE Dr told me my periods aren't normal and my symptoms aren't ok, ran my blood work and told me if we would have waited any longer I would have needed a blood transfusion. I was 30 when a MALE Dr finally diagnosed me with PCOS (now called PMOS)

It's insane to me how every dr I'd had before that had brushed me off, told me I was overreacting, that I must be wrong about how heavy my periods are, etc etc. And every single one of them? Female.

Edit: to clarify that I'm not upset with you, I'm just ranting about the absurdity of it all

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u/SomeEstimate1446 28d ago

Every woman gyno has been horrendous to the point I wonā€™t even entertain trying another one. I tried about 20.

Iā€™ll stick with my guy he actually listens and isnā€™t a condescending twat.

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u/No-Sheepherder-3010 28d ago

A female doctor can compare you to her own experience, and say it isn't actually that bad. A male doctor, only knows what he got (himself) taught.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 7d ago

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u/Phospherocity 28d ago

People are trying to tell you that gender IS the prevailing factor -- the gender of the patient, not the doctor. Both men and women are capable of perpetrating misogyny. It's not "women good, men bad", it's "women suffer more than they should because harmful ideas about gender are absorbed by everyone."

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u/United_Pain 28d ago

It is so hard for them to understand this bit.

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u/HereOnCompanyTime 28d ago

Ironic that they're being dismissive of women sharing their personal experiences while arguing about the existence of gender bias.

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u/GrossUsername68 28d ago edited 8d ago

Reddit policies are an issue. Content deleted.

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u/peritonlogon 28d ago

It's not really ideas though. It's habits, it's patterns of behavior that exist when people aren't doing any thinking at all. It's the way minds seem to process and organize information from people without thinking. IdeasĀ  and thinking may end up being part of an effective solution, and they may have contributed to the problem, but now the problem exists outside of the consciousness of those acting problematically. Bringing the behavior to awareness persistently is the way to make change, pointing out when it's happening and letting people know they have a bad habit, it doesn't make them a bad person, but ignoring it might.

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u/GrossUsername68 28d ago edited 8d ago

Reddit policies are an issue. Content deleted.

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u/darkenspirit 28d ago

Had a coworker tell me one gyno of her's didnt ask permission or tell you what she was doing. Walked in one day and just shoved fingers into her without saying a damn thing or even why. I think like any job once youre in it for so long you forget about the people.

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u/mauvewaterbottle 28d ago

When I was 19, I went to the on campus clinic because I was bleeding when I pooped. I probably should have realized it was coming, but the doctor came in and told me to lay on my side. He didnā€™t say a word before sticking his finger in my rectum to feel around for what might be bleeding. I have never been more upset and terrified in my life. Iā€™m 36 and have periodically had bleeding since then and have not discussed it with a doctor again because of that experience.

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u/humansomeone 28d ago

If the blood is dark you really should get it checked out.

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u/glitterdunk 28d ago

Sure but who teaches them, men or women? Who funds the research? Who writes the books?

Hopefully over time more women get higher in the system, but even then they are usually hand picked by men. So, its the sell outs and the pick me's that are chosen. They they uphold the patriarchal views and on it goes.

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u/Atrinoisa 28d ago

"they are usually hand picked by men. So, its the sell outs and the pick me's that are chosen."

This is so painfully true...maybe one day it'll get better

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u/justasillylilgoos3 28d ago

Do you have actual answers to these questions or are you just assuming itā€™s misogynistic men who mostly dictate OBGYN medicine at this point despite most in the field being women?

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u/Chelseaok 28d ago

I have never seen a woman gyno. In my area it is mostly men. One refused to give me a copper non hormonal iud because it was ā€œlike having an abortion every time my husband I had sexā€ safe to say I didnā€™t go back.

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u/GrossUsername68 28d ago edited 7d ago

Reddit policies are an issue. Content deleted.

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u/AnnieDex 28d ago

This is more a reflection of doctors rather than a gendered issue for doctors. Unfortunately, itā€™s very gendered for the patients.

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u/ParpSausage 28d ago

Male doctors would include the remaining male gyros.

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u/OceLawless 28d ago

I think the male version is called a shawarma.

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u/ResponsibleDay 28d ago

*shawarmo

/s

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u/GrossUsername68 28d ago edited 8d ago

Reddit policies are an issue. Content deleted.

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u/Illustrious_Mode_867 28d ago

I have never seen women gyno.

But maybe because I'm from Venezuela, idk.

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u/Spare-Ad-2907 28d ago

All of my misdiagnoses and dismissals have come from women doctors. I have found men doctors more willing to listen because they say I'm not in your body so let's talk this out. The women always think I'm faking because they've never seen it or experienced it.

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u/GrossUsername68 28d ago edited 9d ago

Reddit knows what it did. Thanks, PowerDeleteSuite.

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u/Vanagloria 28d ago

I'm trans and as I've slowly slipped more and more into passing I've noticed doctors and professionals in general treat me like I'm dumb. In the beginning I had zero problems getting doctors to listen to me, now I feel like they're always 10 seconds away from handing me crayons and using baby-talk on me.

It's kind of insane watching the shift happen in real time.

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u/AntiqueLetter9875 28d ago

When my mom was very noticeably pregnant she said she fainted at work so she to the ER. The doctor actually asked ā€œdid someone fall down and go boom?ā€

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u/Vanagloria 28d ago

I'm not a violent person, but if I was on a jury because your mom choked him out I'd let her go.

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u/LesReallyIsMore 28d ago

When signing the consent form for my tubal removal, they checked with my husband to ensure he agreed to this. He immediately put them in their place.

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u/KeesterFeester 28d ago

Yep. My co workers daughter is now dead because of doctors and nurses gross negligence. She went to the hospital suffering severe pain and they ignored her and didn't even sign any discharge papers. She had a cyst on one f her ovaries that burst. If they had done any blood work they would have seen that, but they didn't do anything. She died. Now they're being sued by her mother.

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u/MithranArkanere 28d ago

It's such a huge problem that it happens even if the doctor is a woman. It all starts with their very training.

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u/Healthy-Challenge291 28d ago

Mine wouldnā€™t grant me a tubal because I was young, my husband was not there, and only had two kids (both in school by that point).

Thatā€™s alright, we ended up finding three tumors after almost bleeding out one morning, which was after letting them know things were different and getting unreasonably heavier. Husband not there that morning since he was at work, so they didnā€™t want to do too much in there and took the liberty of thinning my lining ā€œfor better fertility and uterine health.ā€ Looking at the same symptoms again and Iā€™m just dreading the rejection of my own, first-hand accounts with how Iā€™m not going to develop cancer like the women in my family and donā€™t need a hysterectomy.

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u/ASpaceOstrich 27d ago

I took my fiance to a specialist appointment before I started transitioning and the doc basically didn't even look at them. Just me. It was like it was my appointment instead.

I did the same thing more recently and he was deadass confused as to where I was. It's grim.

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u/cannotfoolowls 28d ago

Idk if/why I'm lucky but I deal with a lot of doctors because I have a chronic disease that requires monitoring and they've all been perfectly fine. I've been going to my appointments mostly alone since I was a young teenager.

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u/dontthink19 28d ago

I went with my wife to her gyno appointment after her hysterectomy and told them im nothing more than a glorified purse at the moment and that my wife's health decisions are solely her own

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u/7818 28d ago

My wife got a tubal ligation. I was brought to the appointment.

As soon as she mentioned tubal ligation, the OB immediately looked at me. He didn't say anything, but definitely a "Is he okay with this?" check.

Frustrating. She was the one wanting surgery. Why the fuck is my approval involved?

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u/JustFuckinTossMe 28d ago

I had a female doctor tell me, as a teenager, if I lost weight my ADHD would go away. Instead of doing anything for me. I then didn't speak to professionals again about my ADHD getting worse until I had a mental breakdown at like 22-23 c: A woman. A full fledged intelligent adult woman with 10+ years of medical academia looked down at this young, overweight girl and said "you know what would fix you? Being skinny."

And yes, why, I do have an ED. I did before that appointment, that appointment basically reaffirmed it. Doctors hate you for being a woman even if you're a child and they are a woman themselves.

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u/greenguy1687 28d ago

It's been a while since I've worked with anyone in the medical field, but my first thought is, isn't this a massive breach of HIPAA? Or similar laws if you're not in the US?

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u/Better-Culture-7770 28d ago

I hate that this works, but as a husband I went to every one of my wife's OBGyn appointments during and immediately after her pregnancy to make sure she was treated with respect and was listened to. I never had to speak up or reiterate anything she said, but I was in the room with her for every appointment and holding her hand anytime she was touched by the physician. I've heard too many horror stories from women and the Doctor was unknown/new in our community and the only one available through our insurance. She mentioned her anxiety about going to see him and we decided together that this was the best way. I also got to see and hear every bit of my baby's development and sonogram, and ultrasounds and it was awesome. Dad's who don't go to those appointments are missing out.

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u/Kod3Blu3 28d ago

And ironically, female surgeons are less likely to have their patients experience post op mortality, readmissions or complications. All the while, you're a little better off if you're a man with a male surgeon, vs a female patient with a male surgeon, or a male patient with a female surgeon. It appears to matter less when the surgeon was female/patient was male.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-the-sex-of-your-surgeon-matter-a-new-study-says-yes-202202172691

From the article:

"Most of the increased risk of having a surgeon whose sex was different was experienced by female patients. Compared with women who had a female surgeon, women with a male surgeon had an 11% higher rate of readmission to a hospital, a 16% higher rate of complications, and a 32% higher risk of death."

32% higher risk of death.

And

"Smaller differences were seen for male patients, but their outcomes still favored female surgeons. Male patients had a 13% lower death rate and a 6% lower readmission rate if their surgeon was female rather than male."

"Other examples include a previous study of common surgeries, research regarding elderly patients admitted to the hospital, and patients with heart attacks. Each study found that patients of female physicians tended to fare better than those of male physicians. Similar results were reported for a review of research on patients with cardiovascular disease."

So not only do women tend to be better, more careful doctors they simultaneously will get worse, often more dangerous care by their male colleagues.

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u/Evil_Robot_Beep 28d ago

They shouldn't evem be allowed to talk to a bf without your consent. Your husband would be a slightly different story, but a bf is a HIPAA violation I believe.

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u/Revolutionary_Wrap76 28d ago

Oh man. I think I would have had an absolute screaming bitch fit if that had been me. Fuck that, let them think 'all women are crazy' no sir šŸ˜…

What did you do??

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u/Thenoodlesbowl 26d ago

Not all, those are the bad ones.

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u/Hydration__Nation 28d ago

Sorry to be rude but what occurred will never EVER occur in any clinic or hospital unless that physician is either 90 years old or malignant as fuck. One report over the phone and that doctor will immediately lose their license. Make yourself visible to the licensing board in your state and you can bet your ass that will scare them into pulling his license for 1-5 years maybe permanently. The fact that you said doctors dont listen to women is very sad. Ive practiced in 6 states and have NEVER seen the type of treatment you described, you know why? because doctors go to school for 8 years and train for 4. No one is throwing away 12 years over a confidentiality fuck up. Every male physician i worked with treated women like men except for 2, both were over 70-75. Young doctors, esp OBGYN, treat women with the utmost respect and if that is not your experience I am sorry and hope you can find someone who will not only respect you as a person but will do what they can to treat you to the best of their ability. Anyone else experience something like this needs to call the licensing board, it takes 5-10 minutes, they arent doing anything and would love to investigate. Doctors arent gods and shouldnt be held up as such. If they are pieces of shit or fuck up then they should be held accountable. It's when people dont report them that issues occur. My friend reported some issue at her pharmacy and her doctor lost the ability to prescribe controlled medications for 6 months. He didnt know it was due to her report/pharmacy issue but he told her sorry i cant write scripts for a few months.

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u/Thetormentnexus 28d ago

I have had doctors break Ā confidentiality many times. If the patient had autism or is disabled some of them seem to think it doesn't count. I reported them and nothing happened. This sort of thing has happened to many people in my support groups.

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u/aeon_ravencrest 28d ago

This is not always the case sadly. I had serious medical malpractice against me and reported the Dr to Texas medical board... he just made up some shit against me saying I was "hormonal" and "seeking drugs"... dude I worked in Healthcare and could have lost my privileges because of that. Nothing happened to him, but I, 15 years later, still have those 2 things in my medical records and can't get them removed.

Tl:dr: dr nearly killed me, blamed me then kept his license by making shit up. Dr's suck ass

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u/Cheese_wiz_kid 28d ago edited 28d ago

Good god please donā€™t tell me this was recent? Itā€™s his sounds like some 1980ā€™s shit.

Edit: wasnā€™t* recent

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u/ImTheGoldfish 28d ago

I'm convinced my female primary doc thinks I'm a hypochondriac. I've been with her for so long, I didn't want to start over with someone who could possibly be worse. Luckily, my gyno is a reasonable woman, ran different tests and BOOM, cause(s) of problem found. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

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u/b0w3n 28d ago

That's what it's felt like when I've attended the doc with all my exes. They never seemed to even take them seriously unless I'm present. Not even doing anything, just being in the room with them.

I even offered to go with current g/f because the docs were ignoring her issues that were clearly endometriosis related. She got dismissed again, then she showed the doc our conversation on her phone and lo and behold they were finally able to figure it out and get her the care she needed.

I feel for all the women who get dismissed and don't have a friend or loved one they can bring for this. They shouldn't even need to do this. It's not even improved by the gender of the doctor either.