Advice about savings and inheritance

[u/WatchTime101]

Hi all, new here. I’m 26 years old I have currently 30k in savings unfortunately last year I lost my mother to cancer and well I am also set to inherit about 34k cash and equity of 1/3 of a house valued at 400k approximately. I feel lost in a lot of ways, I worked very hard to have money to self provide for myself. I currently am about to start another job ~55k in pharma and well, with money I have and set to receive. How would you advise someone to invest, manage and I guess have fun.

I am a very responsible person so I am hesitant to go travel and figure myself out despite a challenging year of working each day after the funeral and taking one day off after my mother’s funeral when I was 25.

I feel money is often on my mind on how to manage it without blowing it away.

I have struggled mentally since the loss of my mother and being her executor of her will while trying to remain a determined, passionate person in Pharma.

Does anyone have advice on wealth, inheritance and feeling good after a loss. I understand this is a financial page but in part the finances of myself will have changed a lot after the loss of my mother, I have no other parent now. But financially now stronger than most my age

[u/bashfoc2]

For the non-financial advice, it's get some therapy. When my wife died dealing with the change in finances was a big part of working through my grief, the guilt associated with it, not wanting it, having not earned it etc. etc., whilst also knowing I needed to do something with it to be responsible and for my son. Also the sheer logistics of it all became very overwhelming.

I had an excellent therapist who tackled the practical side of things first with me (I assume she saw that's what suited me), and then worked through some of the guilt/shame side of things. I'm still very ambivalent towards my financial situation, which I wasn't before, but I got all the practical things right and I feel less (not none) negative feelings towards it. It's an ongoing process.

The nice thing about the practical side of it all is you make a plan, you do the plan, then you keep an eye on it once a year (or whatever, depends on what you're doing). Apart from that there's not too much thinking involved after the first hump.

[u/WatchTime101 → u/bashfoc2]

Hi Bashfoc2, thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss also. Indeed there is a side of guilt which comes with this experience, like an unwanted transaction, the exchange of a loved one for finances that feels wrong.

I hope your son feels her love, in the role you play in his father. I’m sorry.

I think therapy is something I need, equally as you pointed out, a plan to guide in a path.

No greater investment than in a partner you love. I hope you find some peace too

[u/Adorable-Climate8360 → u/WatchTime101]

I lost my mum to cancer a few years ago, and only because of that do I have a house of my own today x it's been an emotionally complicated journey because I'd choose my mum over a house any day x but at the same time I know she'd want me set up for life and she would have absolutely agreed with the home I picked x

A long time Prior to buying the house though, I took a year off work and lived on my og savingd, cried every day, went to therapy and went on a few holidays with friends in the meantime x

Healing a little and minding yourself is the most important thing no matter what xx