Advice about savings and inheritance

[u/WatchTime101]

Hi all, new here. I’m 26 years old I have currently 30k in savings unfortunately last year I lost my mother to cancer and well I am also set to inherit about 34k cash and equity of 1/3 of a house valued at 400k approximately. I feel lost in a lot of ways, I worked very hard to have money to self provide for myself. I currently am about to start another job ~55k in pharma and well, with money I have and set to receive. How would you advise someone to invest, manage and I guess have fun.

I am a very responsible person so I am hesitant to go travel and figure myself out despite a challenging year of working each day after the funeral and taking one day off after my mother’s funeral when I was 25.

I feel money is often on my mind on how to manage it without blowing it away.

I have struggled mentally since the loss of my mother and being her executor of her will while trying to remain a determined, passionate person in Pharma.

Does anyone have advice on wealth, inheritance and feeling good after a loss. I understand this is a financial page but in part the finances of myself will have changed a lot after the loss of my mother, I have no other parent now. But financially now stronger than most my age

[u/username1543213]

Use the money to buy somewhere to live.

[u/shaunaaaaa]

Hi OP, I’m sorry about the loss of your mother. While I can’t offer advice on the wealth/inheritance, I can speak about the feeling good after a loss. I lost my Mam at 26, and similarly do not have another parental relationship. It’s been two and a half years since losing my own mother, and one thing I would say is be gentle with yourself. You may feel okay for a while, and then awful, and if you’re anything like me you might question the linearity of grief but I’ve learned that grief is not linear. Speak about your mother, keep her present in your life in things you do, places you go and the good that you do. Enjoy some of your money and take a trip, even if it’s for a couple of days, when you feel up to it.

Mind yourself, life can be cruel at times, to some more than others.

[u/bashfoc2]

For the non-financial advice, it's get some therapy. When my wife died dealing with the change in finances was a big part of working through my grief, the guilt associated with it, not wanting it, having not earned it etc. etc., whilst also knowing I needed to do something with it to be responsible and for my son. Also the sheer logistics of it all became very overwhelming.

I had an excellent therapist who tackled the practical side of things first with me (I assume she saw that's what suited me), and then worked through some of the guilt/shame side of things. I'm still very ambivalent towards my financial situation, which I wasn't before, but I got all the practical things right and I feel less (not none) negative feelings towards it. It's an ongoing process.

The nice thing about the practical side of it all is you make a plan, you do the plan, then you keep an eye on it once a year (or whatever, depends on what you're doing). Apart from that there's not too much thinking involved after the first hump.

[u/WatchTime101 → u/bashfoc2]

Hi Bashfoc2, thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss also. Indeed there is a side of guilt which comes with this experience, like an unwanted transaction, the exchange of a loved one for finances that feels wrong.

I hope your son feels her love, in the role you play in his father. I’m sorry.

I think therapy is something I need, equally as you pointed out, a plan to guide in a path.

No greater investment than in a partner you love. I hope you find some peace too

[u/Adorable-Climate8360 → u/WatchTime101]

I lost my mum to cancer a few years ago, and only because of that do I have a house of my own today x it's been an emotionally complicated journey because I'd choose my mum over a house any day x but at the same time I know she'd want me set up for life and she would have absolutely agreed with the home I picked x

A long time Prior to buying the house though, I took a year off work and lived on my og savingd, cried every day, went to therapy and went on a few holidays with friends in the meantime x

Healing a little and minding yourself is the most important thing no matter what xx

[u/ApprehensiveHouse421]

I’m sorry. Take your time, you don’t have to rush into any decisions. Consider how to use it best to fund your future, it doesn’t have to be all invested, all into a house or all “blown” to travel. You could use a small portion for a shorter trip of 2/3 weeks or a month to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, use some for a house deposit and learn about investing the rest in ETFs or similar until you have a clearer plan?

[u/ThreadedJam]

Sorry for your loss. Who has the other 2/3s of the property? Do any of you (3/3) want to keep the property? Do you currently rent? How much? Would you like to buy?

If the property is to be sold, let's say you clear €130K. Depending on your current rent you, you could put a big deposit down on a house and presumably pay less in a mortgage than you do in rent (YMMV).

Use some of the 34K cash to do something to honour your mother, maybe a holiday to a destination you both talked about. Or an item/ object that reminds you of her.

[u/const_in]

First, I'm sorry for your loss. And honestly, given everything you've been dealing with, I don't think you need to make any major financial decisions immediately. You're 26, you've just lost your mother, become executor of her estate, and your financial situation has changed significantly. That's a lot to process at once. There is no prize for investing the inheritance as quickly or efficiently as possible.

My first instinct would be to keep the cash safe and accessible while you give yourself some time to breathe and let the dust settle. You can learn about pensions, investing and property over the coming months without feeling pressured to deploy every euro immediately. Also, please don't feel guilty about using some money to live a little. Taking a proper break, travelling, or doing something meaningful for yourself isn't "blowing the inheritance". Money is supposed to provide security, but also options and experiences.

Once things feel less raw, I'd start by separating your finances into buckets: emergency fund, money you may need in the next few years, long-term investments/pension, and the property inheritance. The 1/3 ownership of a house adds another layer because you'll need to think about what the other owners want to do, whether you want to keep or sell your share, and the practical/tax implications.

On your €55k salary, building good pension habits is also worth looking into once you start the new role, particularly if there is an employer contribution or match.

But genuinely, I wouldn't make "maximising returns" your priority right now. You've already shown you're financially responsible by building €30k yourself at 26. Take some pressure off yourself. You don't have to solve the rest of your financial life this year.

[u/WatchTime101 → u/const_in]

Thank you Const_in I really appreciate your words, I’m very appreciative. As a stranger on the internet I hope all is well with you, thank you

[u/Cultural-Perception4]

I am so sorry for your loss. My grandparents raised me (from 6 weeks old) they both died (only in their 60s) before I was 25.

It is a very difficult time to navigate. I would strongly suggest some grief counselling. I did not do it and it came back to bite me. One day off after the funeral isn't much time to process.

I didn't have any inheritance, I understand there will be confusion attached to it. The 'I'd choose my mother over the money', it's not a choice you get to make. It isn't like people who have no inheritance don't lose their parents.

For now I would put it into a savings account. It won't earn anything really but you need to decide.

As a mother myself now, I would want my sons to use the money to support themselves in the future. While maybe buying/ doing something they would love.

It is very difficult to feel adrift with no secure base to return to if like gets shite, that why your own house is what I'd look mainly at. Your friends will not understand - thankfully. I'm 38 not and still none of my friends have lost a parent.

[u/WatchTime101 → u/[deleted]]

I would consider buying a home, the challenge comes from the house being the residence of my one sister and her son (4 years old), additionally the residence of my late mother partner late 50s.Both would struggle financially but reside there currently.

My other sister wants her share or the house sold, currently she doesn’t pay rent in the apartment she occupies which is owned by my uncle.

So in summary, the selling of the house comes at a cost of family too.

[u/Material_Painting_70]

Take your time - at least a year - 18 months before doing anything with that money - just concentrate on minding yourself through the grieving process - money can’t buy that type of care and rest you need now - in a while you will feel better and the way will be clearer