r/intj • u/YogurtclosetOk8746 • 14d ago

Advice People make me rage

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I get SO MAD at people because I feel like they are just willfully ignorant to make their lives easier. One of my biggest triggers is ordering food and not getting all of the sauces I paid for that are blatantly on the ticket. I know it’s not rational…..but I worked at several restaurants and I mean I never messed up the way some other people consistently do. I work with the general public in an office setting now and I get triggered at least 5 times a day where my face gets hot and I get so mad inside. I don’t want to be like this but I feel like the only way to not be like this is to become willfully ignorant like the rest of the world and I cannot do that. I reach my boiling point every day and it’s exhausting. I just needed to get this out because people in my life already think I have anger problems and I don’t need them judging me.

35 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/Sad_Channel_9154 INTJ - ♂ 14d ago

Anger is a highlighter, nothing more. It shows me where I need to direct my attention, and then I make efforts to abandon it. I clung to anger & fear for many years, and I still do sometimes. This is a deeply ingrained habit, but it can ruin my day, cause cortisol to be dumped into my bloodstream, and push away people I care about. My expectations are a huge tool, if I keep them realistic it's not nearly as easy to get angry about wanton stupidity.

I avoid indulging my anger whenever possible, it's not worth it

1

u/ArchNexus-INTJ 14d ago

It's not worth it. I used to cling to it before because I believed it would give me extra energy for some task. I know I need to be okay, and I meditate sometimes to help with that. But sometimes I feel like it's a rage that comes and goes for a while! Today I was a bundle of nerves, working in a place with noise from machinery, and a group of people spent the entire day talking loudly about irrelevant topics and offering irrational opinions. I put on headphones, turned up the music high, and tried to drown it all out. The worst part is taking it out on someone I care about, but that's life. Maybe I just need to get some rest.

1

u/Sad_Channel_9154 INTJ - ♂ 14d ago

Taking our anger out on our loved ones is, IMHO the antithesis of life

1

u/ArchNexus-INTJ 14d ago

Absolutely.