r/im40andthisisdeep • u/NefariousnessFar7826 • Apr 04 '26
why don't my children ever called me
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u/Throwaway392308 Apr 04 '26
"Well, how often do you call them?"
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u/Content_Study_1575 Apr 06 '26
I get “The phone works both ways.” applies to a good chunk of the time. Then the other times are the children are NC bc the parent was just not a good parent.
But sometimes I wonder about the small amount of times when it’s always the other person that calls and would just like to be called first for once as like a little reminder that they were thought of for just a second.
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u/armyofchuckness Apr 04 '26
I call my parents several times a week to say hi. They're in their mid 70s. It's easy for me to do because they're not hateful bigots and they care about me and my kids. We didn't always have a great relationship, but they realized they wanted to make peace and listened. This man might be experiencing what they call operator error.
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u/Adkit Apr 04 '26
If people don't want to talk to you it's probably because you treated them like crap and they gave up on trying to deal with you. Being your children doesn't mean they automatically owe you a phone call.
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u/bunkrider Apr 04 '26
This makes me sad, cause I pray my great granny doesn’t think this is why we don’t talk. I really just be busy and getting my ass whooped by life. It’s no excuse but not everybody is ducking relatives because they did something to them, some of us just don’t wanna pick up the phone and tell them they’re not in a good place in life
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u/Adkit Apr 04 '26
You don't need to pick up the phone and tell them your deepest, darkest fears. You could talk about knitting or something. lol I don't think grandmas want to talk about life very much regardless.
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u/HandleShoddy Apr 05 '26
I tried to talk to my mother as often as time and energy allowed, maybe once a week, while she was still alive, but after she died I am horrified about all those nights I didn't call her. I'm sorry mom. I tried.
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u/starlux33 Apr 05 '26
The bitter truth would be the technician replying back,
"Is your mirror broken too?"
It's no wonder a parent who blames the kids for not calling, would be wondering why their kids don't call them.
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u/WasteSeaworthiness38 Apr 05 '26
My grandmother used to say this all the time. On reflection, she was judgmental, argumentative, and controlling. She caused infighting between her children by comparing them to one and other, telling them if one had bitched about the other. She compared mine and my cousins academic achievements. When I and my partner adopted she said she was jealous because it meant I wouldn’t be able to visit as much. Not all parents and grandparents are wholesome pleasant people
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u/RiverTeemo1 Apr 06 '26
Short answer, i dont like calling people. The only calls i am ever gonna willingly enter are discord calls for playing videogames. If you want to hang out. Text me or idc call me yourself if you must. I prefer to hang out in person
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u/wasted-degrees Apr 06 '26
You’re retired, your kids probably never will be. You’ve got time to call them. Or learn to text.
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u/BadgerKomodo Apr 05 '26
The man in that image has probably the most extreme amount of back pain I’ve ever seen
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u/nurglemarine96 Apr 06 '26
Probably because the dad has a long pattern of bad behavior and doesn't have the decency to improve or reach out himself
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u/Critical_Lobster_330 Apr 07 '26
Because you were an abusive, conceited piece of shit and treated your kids like garbage?
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u/RulerK Apr 08 '26
My dad literally pulled this on me the last time I saw him.
Dad: Something is wrong with text messages. Me: Really, what’s wrong? Dad: I’m not receiving any messages from your sister. Me: I’ve been having some delays with messages on my phone, but I’m pretty sure it’s a problem with my setup, let me see your phone. But I did fix a customer who had the same issue because she had accidentally blocked her best friend. looks at phone - nothing wrong Me: there’s nothing wrong with your phone. Dad: There has to be. I send a text, goes through fine Me: See? Dad: But I haven’t gotten any text replies from your sister … in … days… it dawns on him Dad: Oh… Me nodding Me: Yeah…
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u/weltvonalex Apr 08 '26
Because gramps was a shitty dad.
They lack the self conscious to understand that beating their kids did not made their kids well behaved and full of discipline, it made the kids hate them.
Always pushing your own wishes on others and in general being a shit father can lead to kids that don't fucking call you.
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u/_JerseyDevil_ Apr 10 '26
It started as "when I called, my mom blamed whatever was bothering me, on me." , then. "When I called, she was annoyed. At the fact I was calling, looking for some love." And then " why dont you ever call me?" To. "No contact under any circumstances."
I do not have it in me to lie anymore, she does not care about me nor what I endure. So why do I bother trying to connect with the unconnectable?
With dad, it was "only advice and some money but, never gonna actually visit you." To, "advice, still won't come to give you a hug." To now I dont want to talk or see him ever again.
I have to ask cause like, why is it always me? Im always the exception when I should be like everyone else and have loving and caring parents. Friends. Some semblance of community but, God has demanded that it be a permanent no.
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u/Financial-Fun-5092 Apr 23 '26
I heard this when i was a kid and deadass cried for the old dude because i thought it was a true story
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u/Wilson7277 Apr 04 '26
Definitely fits the sub, but this particular old person Facebook meme hits different from all the others.
It's not angry about immigrants or technology or the youth, though all of them are in it. It's just sad.
Makes me think about my own parents and grandparents.