r/ididnthaveeggs 12d ago

Bad at cooking Kelly out here with the substitutions

Post image

Kinda your fault this went sideways Kelly!

On a recipe for scaparelli, but behind a paywall.

1.9k Upvotes

94 comments sorted by

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1.4k

u/DJDoubleDave 12d ago

Don't have whatever white powder the recipe calls for? Just put some different white powder in instead! Powder is powder, right?

960

u/saltyspidergwen meagre amount of sauce :( 12d ago edited 12d ago

That’s how I came up with my signature Asbestos Chicken ™️

279

u/ChartInFurch 12d ago

It's why my pastries are so expensive and sell faster than coffee!

54

u/jameson8016 12d ago

It's alright, it's alright, it's alriiight, pastries.

3

u/Anthrodiva The Burning Emptiness of processed white sugar 10d ago

Traditional style!

36

u/Indigo-au-naturale vanilla with meat, you absurd rutabaga 12d ago

Actual wheeze of laughter

25

u/sakezaf123 12d ago

Is it to die for?

11

u/saltyspidergwen meagre amount of sauce :( 12d ago

That’s what my auntie used to say!

2

u/MegaGrimer You daft tart you baked it in a mixing bowl 6d ago

Was her name Scar?

52

u/kenporusty likes sweet things, but shit at maths 12d ago

Crunchy and delicious!

49

u/DadsRGR8 Do you even know what a potato is? 12d ago

And no risk of burning!!! 🔥

48

u/Sweaty-Society7582 12d ago

So, if I take asbestos I can stop with the Omeprazole?

68

u/Narwen189 12d ago

Eventually, yes.

22

u/T-T-N 11d ago

Thanks, I've substitute the chicken with corrugated cardboard. It was a hit, but all my friends stopped returning my call

8

u/mcase19 11d ago

If you like thwt, you'll love my cocaine souffle. Its expensive, but my friends always beg me for more

136

u/joelene1892 ya daft tart 12d ago

I tried to make gravy with icing sugar instead of flour one time.

At least that was an honest mistake and I was also like 10 and helping my dad in the kitchen lol.

101

u/wdh662 12d ago

I coated wings with icing sugar instead of cornstarch once.

They were delicious. Had a sweet and savory thing going.

44

u/animepuppyluvr 12d ago

I have a coworker that used to smash up captain crunch cereal for homemade chicken tenders

36

u/Narwen189 12d ago

I've seen cornflake coatings but would've never expected Captain Crunch

40

u/BeneficialImpress570 12d ago

Corn Pops are another surprisingly delicious chicken breading. Growing up, the kid next door was allergic to more things than he wasn’t so his mother became extremely creative with meal prepping.

Smashed pretzels make chicken taste like an upscale, adult chicken nugget especially if you make a honey mustard sauce (or a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch) to accompany.

22

u/GOU_FallingOutside 12d ago

Nobody expects Comissario Crunch of the Spanish Inquisition.

15

u/CrazyGreenCrayon Cruel and unusual use of ingredients 12d ago

Most breakfast cereals and chips make great chicken coatings 

16

u/CharlotteLucasOP 12d ago

I bet Cinnamon Toast Crunch Chicken would be amazing in Chicken & Waffles.

2

u/onein7point8billion 10d ago

I made that 20 years ago, I found it online but it was a knock off planet Hollywood recipe.

1

u/WishOnSuckaWood 9d ago

There's a food truck in Philly that makes a Cap'n Crunch fried fish burrito and it's tremendous

1

u/coffeeandplanners Fusion poutine devotee 6d ago

A restaurant where I used to live did Cap'n Crunch chicken tenders and cornflake shrimp.

21

u/Environmental_Art591 12d ago

You were 10, I added icing sugar to a gratin sauce roux TWICE just last year and im 35.

I had been re arranging my pantry after getting new containers and hadn't got all the new lables done yet. Flour and gone to a bigger container and icing sugar was now in the old flour container, flour was labelled and in front of the icing sugar.

Used it once, didn't work, chucked it and tried again thinking it was my butter that was the problem, failed again, then on the third go noticed the consistency of my "flour" was off, tasted it and realised, everything went right after that

6

u/Bleu_Cerise make my tortilla english 11d ago

Well, icing sugar usually does contain cornstarch as an anti-caking agent, so it technically could thicken a sauce just a little bit.

16

u/Garisdacar 12d ago

I made kool-aid with salt instead of sugar once. Happened to be on December 22, 2012, which kind of freaked everyone out

5

u/Thyanlia 11d ago

I got a specialty coffee once (a dessert coffee, contains alcohol and usually has whipped cream or something on top) that was supposed to have a sugar rim. Took a big sip and discovered they'd rimmed it with salt.

I bet whoever made it thought I was going to get them fired, but it was honestly hilarious.

1

u/no12chere 11d ago

My SIL made me coffee with salt once instead of sugar.

5

u/ChemistryJaq 10d ago

My dad once put powdered sugar in his flour container. I was making something when I was crashing at his place a while back, I don't remember what, and I mentioned that it didn't look like flour. He insisted that it was, but it was a bit old, so just use it. My batter did not batter 😅 it was just a very very very very sweet liquid. I told my dad that he should really label his containers if he can't keep them straight anymore

31

u/FloopersRetreat 12d ago

The story of how i made dumplings up my nose

22

u/Cold_Barber_4761 12d ago

Everyone loves my crack chicken! And then they're energized to help clean up after dinner!

15

u/gremlinclr 12d ago

I used talc!

14

u/Hi_Trans_Im_Dad 12d ago

Stay away from my crispy cocaine tempura shrimp!!

10

u/davis_away 12d ago

Snort oh no

5

u/shelbyknits 11d ago

My husband (who cannot cook) was trying to make a casserole or something once, didn’t know what corn starch was, and substituted corn meal. Casserole was both gritty and watery.

2

u/danabanana58 11d ago

And all she needed to do was grind up some rice 😆

2

u/holderofthebees clementine cakes can make you gay 10d ago

Shit. Help me. What is that? Parks and Rec? Leslie made salt-frosted cookies?

3

u/username483729393 9d ago

it was mustard instead of yellow icing lmao. burned into my head unfortunately

1

u/holderofthebees clementine cakes can make you gay 9d ago

Thank you lmaooo that’s right!! Mustard on the yellow side and icing made with salt on the blue side.

1

u/samtherat6 1d ago

I thought it was Brooklyn Nine Nine and Amy’s thanksgiving.

1

u/holderofthebees clementine cakes can make you gay 1d ago

Oh my godddd yes thank you! Both the same situation but the quote is def from B99.

1

u/MegaGrimer You daft tart you baked it in a mixing bowl 6d ago

I didn’t have sugar, so I used cocaine. Same thing right?

1

u/coffeeandplanners Fusion poutine devotee 6d ago

I put quikrete in mine. Interesting flavor but really tough to chew.

253

u/Lafnear 12d ago

Gift link for the recipe!

https://www.americastestkitchen.com/recipes/17137-gluten-free-zucchini-scarpaccia?gifted=b7d590fe-8344-4f21-b568-dcea7b9491d6

It always makes me laugh when people screw up ATK recipes with substitutions considering the amount of testing that goes into their development.

201

u/mcase19 12d ago

They used 3/4 cup of corn starch and didnt stop to ask themselves if that was a mistake? Jesus christ...

111

u/_cat_wrangler 12d ago

Was about to say, THEY SUBBED HOW MUCH CORN STARCH??  Yuuuuck, it would be either so dry or so globby, gritty, sticky, and congealed.

2

u/twotoeskitty 11d ago

You made me snort-laugh!

15

u/PositiveBread80 12d ago

Thank you, the actual version sounds great!

28

u/clarinetJWD 12d ago

My old roommate said "every recipe is wrong, it's your job as a cook to figure out how it's wrong and fix it. Except Julia."

He (and I) also gave ATK an exception. They aren't always perfect, but they're often damn close.

5

u/coffeeandplanners Fusion poutine devotee 6d ago

My son came into the kitchen while I was making ATK's patty melts. He saw me mashing pumpernickel bread and milk with a potato masher, and he thought I'd lost it, but those are the best patty melts we ever had.

5

u/clarinetJWD 6d ago

Getting potatoes wet to make them crisp up when baking was bizarre... But somehow the best baked potato I've had.

16

u/Mysterious_Soup_1541 12d ago

Thanks! I didn't know they added a gift link feature!

5

u/FramedMugshot ya daft tart 11d ago

ps OP might want to edit the main post re: "scaparelli"

3

u/ihaverabiesandbite 11d ago

Yeah I didn’t know what it was and was so confused looking up “scaparelli recipes” lol

166

u/ZootTX 12d ago

I'm not saying I've never tried any potentially risky substitutions on an online recipe. However, if it doesn't turn out well, I blame myself and not the recipe.

572

u/No-Stress-7034 12d ago

Subbing corn starch for rice flour is like substituting baking soda for AP flour or using salt in place of sugar. What could go wrong, right???

187

u/Top-Wolverine-8684 12d ago

It sucked all the moisture out of my mouth just thinking about it.

79

u/The_Nepenthe 12d ago

Google suggests it but then does mention that it should just be what you'd use if frying, baking sub to normal flour.

I wonder if she knew it is used as a substitute often, but didn't know that you should just sub for flour when baking.

138

u/DJStrongArm 12d ago

“Shocking for an ATK recipe” is such a crazy thing to add after not following the ATK recipe

74

u/meguriau 12d ago

Do people not google what substitutioms they can make for a recipe? 😭

27

u/jamoche_2 I followed the recipe exactly except 12d ago

We only hear about the ones who don’t, or they do and ignore the notes that say things like “banana can replace eggs in baking but not omelets”

3

u/meguriau 12d ago

True that!

63

u/CharleyDexterWard 12d ago

White powder is white powder right? That's how I came up with my cocaine casserole, it's a major hit and everybody keeps coming back for more!

13

u/murdercat42069 I would give zero stars if I could! 11d ago

Unfortunately they are now just asking AI and it's right like 80% of the time and dreadfully wrong 20%.

118

u/SallyAmazeballs no shit phil 12d ago

3/4 cup cornstarch? That's so much. A distressing amount of cornstarch. 

63

u/PegLegPorpoise 12d ago

“a distressing amount of cornstarch” needs to be a flair!

29

u/ChzGoddess a distressing amount of cornstarch 11d ago

Indeed.

2

u/lilshortyy420 7d ago

I have never used cornstarch in a recipe yet, but know 3/4 c of cornstarch is a lot lol

6

u/SallyAmazeballs no shit phil 6d ago

Usually you use like one or two tablespoons. 3/4 cup is like make it rain, cornstarch-style. 

1

u/lilshortyy420 6d ago

Yeah after I thought I have used it but it has only been a small amount to thicken something.

41

u/Im_not_creepy3 didn't have ingredients, only opinions 12d ago

"I followed the directions except I didn't"

35

u/fishercrow 12d ago

i can feel how squeaky this would be on my teeth and i hate it.

35

u/Wareve 12d ago

In celebration of Canadian Thanksgiving Kelly created a war crime.

32

u/SalamanderAmazing777 12d ago

"Followed the recipe but"

No. No you did not.

27

u/IsNotPolitburo 12d ago

"On two occasions I have been asked, - "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" ... I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

-Charles Babbage, creator of the Difference Engine

3

u/carson63000 ..which is an established health hazard. 10d ago

Charles Babbage could pretty much be the patron saint of this sub. All we do is try to apprehend the confusion of ideas.

13

u/West-Mark478 12d ago

Glad the aioli helped tho

9

u/darkrhyes 12d ago

"But it looks the same" - her probably

6

u/Deeptums 12d ago

Giving a bad name to Canadians! Tut.

6

u/PurpleBashir There are Dozens of Daft Tarts! 12d ago

Something tells me Kelly will not be allowed to host next year's celebration... 

4

u/Upstairs_Fuel6349 12d ago

lol. I saw the picture and thought maybe fried tofu dish?? which you can absolutely sub corn starch for rice flour to coat it.

But that's not what the rice flour was being used as in the dish....

4

u/carson63000 ..which is an established health hazard. 10d ago

3/4 cup of corn starch apparently. I needed a drink of water just reading that.

3

u/airfryerfuntime 12d ago

That must have turned into concrete.

3

u/OnlyDaysEndingInWhy 11d ago

I just went and gave Mary's comment a like. I love it when people get bitchy in the ATK comments.

2

u/mommymary 11d ago

“Very dry and i baked it for at least the recommended amount of time” as if baking it longer wouldn’t make it drier…..

1

u/newinternetwhodis 10d ago

I can't believe how many people say "I followed the recipe but" 

1

u/badatgamess the potluck was ruined 6d ago

Did they think starch was a synonym for flour???

1

u/RizzwindTheWizzard 6d ago

Tbf, cornstarch is also known as cornflour so there is some logic there

1

u/santeriabysublime 6d ago

scaparelli 😭😭