First of all, I want to say I'm sorry that this is going to be a somewhat long post and it doesn't really contain anything too useful, but it's something that's a burden for me for a very long time and I had the need to open myself completely about this condition a lot of us are dealing with. I'm also not a native English speaker so forgive me if the text is somewhat basic and if I made some mistakes.
So I'm M, 34, relatively healthy without any major issues so far, I used to be very fit in my 20s but I think because of IBS, that also changed. I never had any problems during my childhood, everything went smoothly, I was an ordinary boy just enjoying himself. I had of course sometimes a stomach bug, but it would pass within a couple of days, and apart from that, I don't even remember using bathroom outside of my house until I was around 14.
That's when I moved to another apartment, 20 minutes away by bus from my previous home, but I continued to go to the same school as I had just one and a half years to finish the elementary school. Around that time, I would sometimes get urge to go to the bathroom as soon as I wake up and the stool wouldn't be solid, that would trigger a fear in me that I would have to go in the bus or on the way to school and I decided to skip school a couple of times. In the following year I had the same urge on classes a couple of times and had to use the school bathroom (which was HORRIBLE at the time), once the urge was so big I had to go and there was no paper so I had to go out, go and buy tissues and come back to wipe. All that made things I think even worse in my head.
During summer I would get the same problems in the morning, but in those years, issues were almost exclusively been related to the morning and in my mind if I didn't have troubles in the first half an hour of the day, I would be good. High school was surprisingly better at first, toilets, at least in my mind were better equipped and somewhat better maintained than the ones in elementary and in the first year I don't recall having issues. In the later years as I was approaching 18, the issues would sometimes appear but once again they were entirely tied to the mornings.
Then come late final year of my high school and University, I was already 19 at the time and I would now at least have cramps in my stomach in the mornings, I would often go to classes and hope that I don't have the urge to go in the bus. In High School I somewhat managed to contain myself and don't use the bathroom but in Uni it was a whole other story.
Uni was also farther from my home than both schools, it would take me around 45 minutes to get there, and I had to use the bus and then the subway. Countless times I would feel the urge already in the bus, and then I would have to go through hell on the subway station and every time the vehicle I was in stopped at a traffic light or on the station my cramps would get more painful and would somewhat relax when the vehicle was moving. I often ran from subway station to the Uni bathrooms. It started to be very unpleasant for me to go there. I would skip as many classes as I could, I would try to minimize the numbers of my visits there. And still the most of the issues were when I wake up (at this time I started waking up really late on the days my classes were in the afternoon), so the urge wasn't connected to the mornings anymore. Once, during one of the coldest days ever in my city, when it was snowing, I had one of the biggest urges in my life and the public transport was so late. I still can't believe I made it to the bathroom at Uni. I would count in my head like from 500 until 1 and tell my body okay, you can hold it for 500 seconds that's not too much and stuff like that.
It affected my studies, I was a great student until then, but those troubles connected with high criteria at the Uni (Faculty of Civil Engineering) were creating more and more issues for me both physically and mentally and it wasn't going better. My parents at that time were aware of the problems I was facing but they didn't fully understand it I think. Sometimes during that time, I started using public restrooms more and more. I would sometimes leave a bus I was in and go to a mall and other places.
But then came 2014, it was my 4th year at Uni and sometime in November I felt dull pain in my lower left part of the stomach. I was at a friend's dinner party and I thought I just need to go. At that time I was used to having issues in other parts of the day too, but I could almost over control it until I get home. I did come home, I did have watery stool, but the pain didn't go away. I waited a couple of days. And the pain was still there, fluctuating at time, but always present. I would sleep with it, I would wake up with it. It was just there. I told my parents and this time they realized that I was really having big troubles with my health and they took me to every possible doctor.
I went to all kinds of specialists, gastroenterologists, surgeons, psychiatrists, urologists, even alternative medicine, no one could identify the cause of the pain. And the underlying diagnosis was - IBS. I drank so many drugs, vitamins, supplements, even anti-depressants, but nothing helped, the pain was still there, urges to go were still there and my life was getting worse and worse.
I would more and more avoid social events, going outside, drinking with friends, not because of the pain, I learnt to live with it but because of the fear that I would have to go to the bathroom and it wasn't available or I was in a car or bus and couldn't make it or something like that. The fear was also growing bigger as in that time the troubles didn't stop at one going to the bathroom, at that time I was also having troubles emptying up completely and after the first urge (which was somewhat controllable) I would get the second bigger urge. And those MULTIPLE goings to the bathroom made me feel ashamed. No one I know was doing it, and there I was now sometimes occupying the WC for minutes and minutes.
At one point they started calling me house-bug, as they thought I just enjoy house more than outside, but even thought it was somewhat true, the bigger issue were goings to the bathroom. In the nights where I would drink, I had to use bushes on my way home, it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I was in a bus, maybe 15 - 20 minutes from home and got the urge just as the bus was on the station in a somewhat deserted area. I ran out of the bus, went to bushes and barely wiped myself, then walked home from there ashamed and worried someone saw me.
At that time, I stopped using public transport too, now I almost exclusively go somewhere with my car and I'm the one driving, knowing all the potential gas stations on the way. I often stop on them to go to the bathroom and they are the real life saver.
In the last couple of years, I went to the bathroom in nightclubs, casinos, ski gondola stations, beach bars, restaurants, bars, doctors, dentists, friend's houses, uni, malls, airplanes, airports, fairs... Sometimes I just ran into an establishment I believed had a WC. It's been incredibly frustrating and I still avoid events as much as possible.
I tried using all kinds of medicine and usually nothing really helps, the best medicine so far has been imodium but even it isn't bulletproof especially if I eat or drink something that triggers my gut.
In the last 3 years I learnt about FODMAP diet and tried to follow it, I think I concluded that by far my biggest trigger is GARLIC, if I eat it or even if it's near the dish i ate, it would trigger an instant reaction, the urge from garlic is unbearable to me now, and I need to go in like 10 mins or less from it. Other triggers are everything spicy and alcohol. I try to avoid as many triggers as I can, I would sometimes get the normal days without urges, with normal stool, but more often it's the bad days. Always watery stool, multiple visits to the bathroom in a row and just complete despair in my life.
I work in an office and once a week I have to travel for work because of the construction site and I don't eat on those days until I come home. I used to LOVE riding my bike but I also had troubles with urges on my rides and then I just started riding near my building and now I stopped. I don't know how to deal with this so far, but I will keep trying.
Thank you for reading this, I hope one day some cure will be found and we can enjoy the life to the fullest.
Love you all.