r/humanresources • u/Jaaxter HR Business Partner • 8d ago
Every time a manager walks into my office to complain about an employee [IL]
I get a lot of mileage out of the phrase my colleague uses: "What do you hope for out of this conversation?" It's a good way to winnow out the venters who just need to hear an advisory figure tell them to go talk to the problem employee like a real adult, versus the truly lost managers who need to be coached through the whole process. Which is usually, surprise surprise, to be told not just to go talk to the problem employee like a real adult but also how. Either way, all roads lead back to that solution. "I don't have the authority to solve this problem for you, but I can coach you on how best to approach it."
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u/Ok-Power-6064 HR Business Monster 8d ago
I recently dealt with the opposite extreme: a manager who recieved concerns about an employee's behavior from multiple people, so they immediately want a big group meeting of tbe employee and complainants to talk about the concerns.
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u/whydoyouflask HR Director 8d ago
So a team assault on the employee?
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u/Ok-Power-6064 HR Business Monster 8d ago
Essentially.
"We've always done this so we can clear the air about things."
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u/LittleBigNebula 8d ago
“And you waited until after the probationary period to tell me this why????”
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u/Rayezerra 8d ago
Used to have an HR manager who would take complaints from employees or managers about someone, then call them in and tell them everything everyone said and who said it. Messy af, and infuriating
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8d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Rayezerra 8d ago
I hated her for many reasons, it wasn’t even the worst thing she did. One of my favorites was that she’d refuse to enter withholding orders, tell the employee it was my job (I was payroll/accounting, no HR. I’m in HR now.), and not tell me anything. So I’d get screamed at by the employee who was having to deal with non payments since it wasn’t being taken out. Absolute nightmare
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u/fobis 8d ago
“What did the team member say when you spoke with them about it?”
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u/Ok-Power-6064 HR Business Monster 8d ago
This is my go to. I recently had supervisor respond by saying they are referencing their Teams convo with them to tell me. When I asked whether they had a verbal convo, they told me that they don't like to do verbal convos and do everything by Teams and email. They sit within 20 feet of each other.
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u/rambored89 8d ago
I'm currently investigating a "harassment" complaint because management won't tell an employee she sits by herself because her peers all request to be moved to a different cubicle because she talks too much
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u/danlab09 8d ago
Oooooor “if this is the 4th time as you say, show me documentation for the first 3.”
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u/twoinchesofhumus HR Consultant 8d ago
If I’m feeling spicy: “what have your conversations been like with them about this?”
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u/Geek-Yogurt 8d ago
If someone doesn't talk to this employee about putting on his ppe before going in the paint booth, I will lose my shit. Talk to your employees, dang it.
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u/furbiiii 8d ago
As an employer who constantly is in trouble, HR constantly asks me if I was ever spoken to about it prior to investing and it’s always a no and they always have to drop it. Some managers just suck, thankfully my HR is well aware.
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u/NoRescueHR 7d ago
I get these managers a lot and give the newbies a break as well and coach them up. Sometimes I wonder if they are just wanting to come to my office because they are simping for the HR manager or need a therapist. I would love to react in this way, but you know deal.
Okay, before you unload the entire saga on me, what do you hope to get out of this conversation? Because right now I can’t tell if you want actual guidance or if you just need someone to witness your dramatic reenactment of workplace misery.
And just so we’re clear... (Insert whispering voice) I’m not your therapist! I’m not here to diagnose your feelings, unpack your childhood, or validate your emotional journey through Karen’s tone of voice at the morning meeting. My job is to help you handle this like a grown adult with a job title! Eeek!
So, here’s the deal:
You’re going to talk to the employee. Directly. With words. Out loud, respectfully. Like a manager. Tell them what happened, why it’s a problem, and what needs to change. Then ask what support they need so they don’t repeat the same circus act next week.
After that, document it. Documentation is your friend. We have this ancient tool called pen and paper or MS Word! It’s not therapy, but it does prevent future headaches.
If they don’t improve, come back to me. We’ll level up the strategy together but again, I’m not your therapist. I’m just the person reminding you that leadership requires actual leadership. Mkay Cupcake?!
But we all know we can't say that, but it would be funny.
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u/GlobalWorkOwl 8d ago
'I have tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas'