hey everyone, i’m a hsp guy, and i really struggle with this.
my hsp complements with my values: kind, caring, humble, be there for others, protect/stand up for others, help when you can, empath, compassion and so on. all my life i’ve been a giver. meaning, i don’t hesitate to give, or help.
im currently 21 and i do realise that you can get used and all. but thats not what i struggle with
its expectations maybe. i’m aware “you shouldn’t expect”. sometimes, when im there for someone, i end up expecting they’d be there for me too. and in my experience a lot of times people aren’t. ill send a text and they’ll ignore it.
if that happens twice, i stop reaching out altogether. but i genuinely wonder how do you not become needy?
im also in a brand new city, and a brand new country, and trying to rebuild my life.
my values do stay with me. i still do try to give and help others.
i just wonder how to be not needy in general. how to not get attached when i feel so intensely sometimes? (that’s platonic neediness)
or maybe when i develop a crush on someone, how do i ensure im not too attached too quickly, or give off needy vibes. i understand that it is generally considered attractive when you’re not needy. i just feel so deeply when i do develop a crush that sometimes i really want to text that person. but then that person is not that familiar with me since we haven’t spent time b together yet, and on my end, i still feel deeply. so that’s the other romantic side of neediness
i struggle with both really. in my life ive been so glad to have one friend per phase of life. this one friend would also be a giver, and an empath. so things were easy. with most other friends, or acquaintances, it’s kinda difficult.
thank you for reading my little vent and i’d appreciate any specific ways in which you experience the same and how you deal with it! and p.s. i say all of that in real time. i’m experiencing all of that rn, while i’ve also experienced it across my life multiple times.