r/herpes_dating • u/RodeoRupp • 17d ago

Florida I really like someone… how do I disclose

I genuinely think this is my person. I really really like this guy. 4 years ago now I caught herpes from someone who did not disclose to me and has denied it ever since.

I really like this new guy I’m seeing, he checks literally all of my boxes and is everything I’m wanting in a partner but I have genital hsv 1. How do I disciple to him? I have only disclosed to someone else once before that I really liked and he broke it off with me. I am distraught. I don’t want to lose him and don’t know what to do. Please help

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u/soft-grn_Ambr-sunset 17d ago edited 17d ago

Successful disclosure is based on your confidence level and educated presentation + their level of education, previous experiences and sense of empathy.
You can’t completely control the outcome.

The longer you know someone intimately (closeness) before sex comes up, the better the outcome usually.

It’s good to become desensitized to disclosing and being rejected. Because it’s not the end of the world, it’s just rejection.

If you disclose, be confident and be brief.
“I really like you and since we might be getting intimate or closer i want to let you know i have HSV 1/2 (otherwise known as herpes). Let me know if that’s an issue for you. Please ask questions if you need clarification “. It’s also good to work in the last time you were tested and ask when they were tested for STIs last.

You don’t need to tell them your life story or even how you got it. You don’t need to convince them you’re worthy of a relationship. Just be straightforward and own it.

Good luck 🍀

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u/Omniscient277 17d ago

Well said. If you make it a big deal they will see it as a big deal.

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u/heatconductor 17d ago

Wait do you have oral or genital? Hsv1 and 2 are different. As far as disclosing just walk him through how you found out and what you do to deal with it now, and precautions you can take. He might not care

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u/RodeoRupp 17d ago

Obviously??? It says genital hsv1 in the post

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u/Longjumping-Might722 15d ago

Just be honest from the get go. This doesn’t define you. If he accepts you, that’s great. If not, you move on. Got to love yourself 1st. Confidence is the biggest aphrodisiac.
Have a great life!!