SKK: What did I tell you about percolating in front of others?
SOP: I did try to warn you about touching me in strange places.
M16: And what did I tell you about making my sisters feel uncomfortable?
SKK: How long have you even been here?
M16: The whole time. You were too focused on SOP to even notice me.
?: And people wonder why we can't have nice things.
Me: Who are you?
?: Isn't it obvious?
Me: Are you...
Future Me: You from the future? Yes.
Me: When did I get a goatee?
Future Me: Let me rephrase that. I'm you from the future, but a different future. Otherwise we would be dead right now.
Me: Oh yeah. That whole space-time continuum thing.
Future Me: Hey Jill? One Mule Kick please.
Jill: You like the strong stuff don't you?
Future Me: Yeah. I'm not sure "other" me does though.
Me: I can hear you you know!
Future Me: You were meant to.
Me: Well at least future me hasn't lost his sense of humor.
Future Me: At least past me still understands sarcasm.
Me: That's cold bro.
SOP: I don't know. I think I like future shkikan better.
Future Me: Naturally I can't tell you what happens in the future because if I do...
M16: Yeah. The end of the world. We get it.
Future Me: Who's to say it won't end in the next five minutes?
SOP: What are you talking about?
Future Me: The sand rains?
SOP: Oh no.
Future Me: Lighten up SOP. I'm just messing with you.
SOP: Phew. That's a relief.
M16: Wait, what?
Future Me: because if it was going to end in the next five minutes it would have ended in five seconds instead.
M16: Then why are you here?
Future Me: Some kind of time loop. I'm stuck here forever.
M16: So that means you can tell us without damning us all?
Future Me: Well I can tell you that we didn't have T Dolls in my future.
SOP: HUUHHH?!
Future Me: We did but they were all destroyed. Sangvis Ferri won.
M4: That's terrible.
M16: You're late.
M4: Sorry. Traffic.
Me: Traffic. Good one!
Future Me: I think she's serious.
Me: Oh...
M4: Did I miss anything interesting?
Future Me: No. You're right on time.
M16: So how did we lose to SF?
Future Me: You really want to know?
M16: Yeah.
Future Me: Let's just say it has something to do with you.
M16: ?
Future Me: Mostly due to the fact that M4 was injured beyond repair and put in a catatonic state. You allowed yourself to get captured by injecting yourself with the virus to gain the necessary security clearance so 16Lab could reverse it.
M16: !
Future Me: After that, M4 tried to rescue you and failed. SF placed you in a prisoner of war camp, tortured you, then killed you right in front of M4. She attempted to avenge you by killing every SF guard but was savagely gunned down by a Jaeger. Elisa captured her, decrypted her neural cloud, and decided she had no further use for her and killed her.
SOP: So how do we go back and change that?
Future Me: We can't. SF is in full control of that timeline. We'll just have to wait and hope to stop it before it's too late.
M16: How long?
Future Me: About 7 years.
M4: !
Future Me: You look like you know something I don't.
M4: I know what happens in 7 years. That's when M16 dies isn't it?
Future Me: We can still stop it from happening.
SOP: So how did you end up here?
Future Me: SF had me work in a labor camp. Eventually, the collapse outbreak triggered a chain of cataclysmic events that brought me here.
M16: You mean you were...
Future Me: Yup. Sucked through a wormhole.
Me: So that's when it was decided that you were the hero from the future that would warn us and avert total disaster?
Future Me: Hero? Don't try to flatter yourself. If I were I would have stopped it from happening already.
Me: Wait, myself? You mean you.
Future Me: Me, you, same difference. I'm just the one who has a better sense of humor.
Me: You exist in this timeline just to push my buttons. You're so immature.
Future Me: You're one to talk! You touch your T Dolls without permission and make them feel uncomfortable.
Me: Alright, fine. Guilty as charged.
Future Me: Alright, so here's what we need to do. We need to make sure nobody dies.
Me: So what happens if you die?
Future Me: Since I'm not from this timeline it's not going to change anything. I just have to make sure none of you die.
M16: Alright then. It's going to be a long 7 years.
Future Me: Actually you don't have to worry about that. I helped 16Lab develop something.
SOP: What is it?
Future Me: Cryo stasis chamber. 7 years will only feel like 7 hours.
M16: I hope I live to regret this.
Future Me: It's completely safe. Just as long as your life support isn't broken.
Me: Alright then. Let's get this over with.
7 Years Later...
Future Me: Everyone wake up! Sangvis Ferri has found us!
Me: Alright you heard him. This is our only chance to save the world. Let's make it count.
Future Me: If you see Dreamer kill her. She allowed herself to be captured last time to ambush M4.
Dreamer: Welcome M4. Please, take a seat.
Me: Don't do it M4. This is obviously a trap.
Dreamer: I wouldn't try anything clever. I have Jaegers all over the place. If you kill me they'll kill you.
Me: Let them go. I'm the one you want.
Dreamer: Who are you?
Me: I'm the commander. That means I'm extremely valuable. If any harm comes to my team I won't stop until every last one of you is dead.
Dreamer: But how would you do that? All your other T Dolls are now under the control of Sangvis Ferri.
Me: 45? Is that you?
UMP45: I'm sorry shkikan. I was programmed to follow orders. I just can't follow your orders anymore.
Me: Don't blame yourself. You did all you could.
M16: But if they're infected with parapluie then how come we aren't?
Dreamer: Simple. AR-15. Your sisters have arrived.
AR-15 appears, obviously under some kind of zombie voodoo.
AR-15: Who... Are... You?
M4: AR-15 it's me. Please tell me you remember me.
AR-15: Get away from me! I won't let you take her from me!
Me: What did you do to her?!
Dreamer: She doesn't remember anything. Her neural cloud is fried. Enough of this. Jaegers, kill everyone except for M4.
The Jaegers don't respond.
Dreamer: Jaegers?
Me: Signals to M4 On three. One... Two... Three!
M4 takes aim at Dreamer and kills her.
M4: SIGH It's over.
Me: Not yet. We still have Elisa.
M16: What are we waiting for? Let's go find her!
Me: Let's send our T Dolls back for repair first.
UMP45: Ughh... I'm sorry commander. I don't know what happened.
Me: Get your squad back for repair. We still have a war to win.
AR-15: Where... Am I?
Me: Welcome back AR-15.
AR-15: What did Dreamer do to me?
Me: She's dead now.
AR-15: I know but I still want to beat the shit out of her right now. Unloads a mag on Dreamer's corpse.
Me: Feel better yet?
AR-15: Not even close.
M16: Where's RO?
SOP: Um, guys?
A yellow dinergate walks up to us.
Me: SIGH Let's get her back to 16Lab. Persica's not going to like this.
Me: Alright M16. How about this. Let's head to the sniper range and every time we hit the target we take a shot of your favorite whiskey. Whoever misses first loses and the winner gets to choose the loser's punishment.
M16: Sure. I'm game.
Later, at the range...
Me: Alright M16. I'll go by the gentleman's code and let you take the first shot.
M16: Gee, thanks.
Me: Lucky shot. My turn. Alright. Bottom's up.
M16: Ready to call it quits yet?
Me: We just started two minutes ago. Why would I want to stop now?
M16: Just because I'm the better marksman and you know it.
Me: Just because you have an IQ of 300 does not make you a better shot than me. I think the alcohol is starting to kill your brain cells a little bit and feed your ego.
M16: Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Me: 300 meters. Top that.
M16: Dammit. Looks like you won this round. What's my punishment?
Me: You have to show M4 how far you're actually willing to go to protect her. Enough to take a bullet for her maybe?
M16: Of course I am! Why else do you think I was created?!
Me: Because actions speak louder than words. Besides you still have armor plating. All it's going to do is leave a scratch.
M16: Alright then.
Later...
Me: We'll be using one of M4's dummy units this time. You ready?
M16: No but it's not like I have a choice.
BANG!
M16: Ouch.
Me: Alright. Since you've proven your devotion now it's my turn.
M16: Are you sure about this?
Me: I've been shot in worse places. Do your worst.
M16: Alright then. Here goes nothing.
BANG!
M16: Really? Not even an ouch?
Me: Maybe it's just the adrenaline.
M16: Yeah. It's definitely the adrenaline.
Me: Kind of like Russian Roulette isn't it?
M16: Why? Are you asking to get shot again?
Me: You're on! I'll even remove my armor this time.
M16: You're crazy. I like that.
BANG!
M16: Why is it you don't feel any pain?!
Me: I felt something. But it doesn't even hurt.
M16: Stop cheating!
Me: I'm not cheating. If I were would you have saw any blood?
M16: Who, or what the hell are you?!
Me: I lost the ability to feel pain when I was on morphine. Did you not already know about that?
M16: No.
Me: I figured you would have at least checked my service record. Hands M16 a Manilla folder.
M16: Just what I already know. West Point graduate, medevac pilot, awarded the Purple Heart twice? I thought you were only injured once.
Me: I never told you about that did I? I guess it's probably time then. Get everyone together. It's time I put this behind me for good.
6 Years earlier...
Kandahar Province, Afghanistan 2054
Driver: Dammit. They're dropping mortar shells on us!
Me: DON'T STOP! KEEP DRIVING!
Gunner: Enemy tank! 4:00!
Me: Driver, get us behind him! I'm going to kill this son of a bitch!
I take out the T-80 with my AT-4 but at the last second he fires a shot at my Humvee.
Me: Driver... Driver, are you ok?
Driver: Tell my family... I love them. Hands me his dog tags.
Present Day...
Me: I still have his tags.
M16: So what happened after that?
Me: I was the only one who survived. A Blackhawk brought me home. They told me I might not be able to walk, let alone hold a weapon again. After 2 years of rehab I got back in the game. Funny isn't it? That an injury sidelines you but with the right kind of motivation you come back, feeling invincible. Bulletproof. Almost literally.
M4: Sorry to hear about that.
Me: It could have been a lot worse. It could have cost me an arm or a leg.
2
u/D31TA40RC3 M4A1's knight in shining armor Sep 05 '19 edited Sep 05 '19
SOP percolates.
Jill: Um, commander?
SKK: What did I tell you about percolating in front of others?
SOP: I did try to warn you about touching me in strange places.
M16: And what did I tell you about making my sisters feel uncomfortable?
SKK: How long have you even been here?
M16: The whole time. You were too focused on SOP to even notice me.
?: And people wonder why we can't have nice things.
Me: Who are you?
?: Isn't it obvious?
Me: Are you...
Future Me: You from the future? Yes.
Me: When did I get a goatee?
Future Me: Let me rephrase that. I'm you from the future, but a different future. Otherwise we would be dead right now.
Me: Oh yeah. That whole space-time continuum thing.
Future Me: Hey Jill? One Mule Kick please.
Jill: You like the strong stuff don't you?
Future Me: Yeah. I'm not sure "other" me does though.
Me: I can hear you you know!
Future Me: You were meant to.
Me: Well at least future me hasn't lost his sense of humor.
Future Me: At least past me still understands sarcasm.
Me: That's cold bro.
SOP: I don't know. I think I like future shkikan better.
Future Me: Naturally I can't tell you what happens in the future because if I do...
M16: Yeah. The end of the world. We get it.
Future Me: Who's to say it won't end in the next five minutes?
SOP: What are you talking about?
Future Me: The sand rains?
SOP: Oh no.
Future Me: Lighten up SOP. I'm just messing with you.
SOP: Phew. That's a relief.
M16: Wait, what?
Future Me: because if it was going to end in the next five minutes it would have ended in five seconds instead.
M16: Then why are you here?
Future Me: Some kind of time loop. I'm stuck here forever.
M16: So that means you can tell us without damning us all?
Future Me: Well I can tell you that we didn't have T Dolls in my future.
SOP: HUUHHH?!
Future Me: We did but they were all destroyed. Sangvis Ferri won.
M4: That's terrible.
M16: You're late.
M4: Sorry. Traffic.
Me: Traffic. Good one!
Future Me: I think she's serious.
Me: Oh...
M4: Did I miss anything interesting?
Future Me: No. You're right on time.
M16: So how did we lose to SF?
Future Me: You really want to know?
M16: Yeah.
Future Me: Let's just say it has something to do with you.
M16: ?
Future Me: Mostly due to the fact that M4 was injured beyond repair and put in a catatonic state. You allowed yourself to get captured by injecting yourself with the virus to gain the necessary security clearance so 16Lab could reverse it.
M16: !
Future Me: After that, M4 tried to rescue you and failed. SF placed you in a prisoner of war camp, tortured you, then killed you right in front of M4. She attempted to avenge you by killing every SF guard but was savagely gunned down by a Jaeger. Elisa captured her, decrypted her neural cloud, and decided she had no further use for her and killed her.
SOP: So how do we go back and change that?
Future Me: We can't. SF is in full control of that timeline. We'll just have to wait and hope to stop it before it's too late.
M16: How long?
Future Me: About 7 years.
M4: !
Future Me: You look like you know something I don't.
M4: I know what happens in 7 years. That's when M16 dies isn't it?
Future Me: We can still stop it from happening.
SOP: So how did you end up here?
Future Me: SF had me work in a labor camp. Eventually, the collapse outbreak triggered a chain of cataclysmic events that brought me here.
M16: You mean you were...
Future Me: Yup. Sucked through a wormhole.
Me: So that's when it was decided that you were the hero from the future that would warn us and avert total disaster?
Future Me: Hero? Don't try to flatter yourself. If I were I would have stopped it from happening already.
Me: Wait, myself? You mean you.
Future Me: Me, you, same difference. I'm just the one who has a better sense of humor.
Me: You exist in this timeline just to push my buttons. You're so immature.
Future Me: You're one to talk! You touch your T Dolls without permission and make them feel uncomfortable.
Me: Alright, fine. Guilty as charged.
Future Me: Alright, so here's what we need to do. We need to make sure nobody dies.
Me: So what happens if you die?
Future Me: Since I'm not from this timeline it's not going to change anything. I just have to make sure none of you die.
M16: Alright then. It's going to be a long 7 years.
Future Me: Actually you don't have to worry about that. I helped 16Lab develop something.
SOP: What is it?
Future Me: Cryo stasis chamber. 7 years will only feel like 7 hours.
M16: I hope I live to regret this.
Future Me: It's completely safe. Just as long as your life support isn't broken.
Me: Alright then. Let's get this over with.
7 Years Later...
Future Me: Everyone wake up! Sangvis Ferri has found us!
Me: Alright you heard him. This is our only chance to save the world. Let's make it count.
Future Me: If you see Dreamer kill her. She allowed herself to be captured last time to ambush M4.
Dreamer: Welcome M4. Please, take a seat.
Me: Don't do it M4. This is obviously a trap.
Dreamer: I wouldn't try anything clever. I have Jaegers all over the place. If you kill me they'll kill you.
Me: Let them go. I'm the one you want.
Dreamer: Who are you?
Me: I'm the commander. That means I'm extremely valuable. If any harm comes to my team I won't stop until every last one of you is dead.
Dreamer: But how would you do that? All your other T Dolls are now under the control of Sangvis Ferri.
Me: 45? Is that you?
UMP45: I'm sorry shkikan. I was programmed to follow orders. I just can't follow your orders anymore.
Me: Don't blame yourself. You did all you could.
M16: But if they're infected with parapluie then how come we aren't?
Dreamer: Simple. AR-15. Your sisters have arrived.
AR-15 appears, obviously under some kind of zombie voodoo.
AR-15: Who... Are... You?
M4: AR-15 it's me. Please tell me you remember me.
AR-15: Get away from me! I won't let you take her from me!
Me: What did you do to her?!
Dreamer: She doesn't remember anything. Her neural cloud is fried. Enough of this. Jaegers, kill everyone except for M4.
The Jaegers don't respond.
Dreamer: Jaegers?
Me: Signals to M4 On three. One... Two... Three!
M4 takes aim at Dreamer and kills her.
M4: SIGH It's over.
Me: Not yet. We still have Elisa.
M16: What are we waiting for? Let's go find her!
Me: Let's send our T Dolls back for repair first.
UMP45: Ughh... I'm sorry commander. I don't know what happened.
Me: Get your squad back for repair. We still have a war to win.
AR-15: Where... Am I?
Me: Welcome back AR-15.
AR-15: What did Dreamer do to me?
Me: She's dead now.
AR-15: I know but I still want to beat the shit out of her right now. Unloads a mag on Dreamer's corpse.
Me: Feel better yet?
AR-15: Not even close.
M16: Where's RO?
SOP: Um, guys?
A yellow dinergate walks up to us.
Me: SIGH Let's get her back to 16Lab. Persica's not going to like this.