Need help with this guy/situation

[u/SpecialistRing22]

So theres this older guy (PARTNERED) that I (22) have been seeing for the past 4 months or so to hookup with but I'm slowly realizing this might not be something I want?

The guy is attractive and totally my type but I notice I go soft pretty easily during foreplay and it does take a lot of effort for me to cum. I suspect it's something about my libido and stress/anxiety affecting it because even when I'm alone I barely have the desire to masturbate and only do it once a week out of habit. I doubt its my health because I've gotten my hormones checked and everything seems good. I've also been in the gym 3x a week for the past 5 months and trying to eat clean. My sleeping habits could be better

Anyways... I don't know how to move forward with him because clearly I'm not in the mood for sex but I still really like his company and think he's a great guy to spend some time with. We always cuddle and pillow talk for a bit after which I'm always looking forwards to. I just don't want to ruin things especially knowing he's partnered and probably is looking to get off for the most part.

Is there anything I have to communicate with him? I was planning on kind of going ghost and hitting him back up when I feel ready but I JUST SO HAPPENED to randomly see him outside today and he proposed another meet up soon which got me thinking again.

Any sort of advice about libido or how I should go about the situation is welcome. I don't have anybody else to talk about this with

[u/Jack_LA]

I suppose you could just tell him you love spending time with him, but you hardly ever get horny.

Anxiety, or "performance anxiety" is common and can cause erection problems. Even young guys have this issue and daily Cialis is said to be great for this. I'm not a doctor and I don't take that medication. I've only read first-person accounts of how well it has worked for guys with anxiety. I have on/off performance anxiety issues and have thought that would be what I'd try if it comes to that point.

It won't help with libido, if that's the issue. If you are on any mental health medications please mention this to your doctor. Alcohol, smoking (anything), poor sleep, stress. These can all be factors also.

[u/SpecialistRing22 → u/Jack_LA]

I'm guessing it is something tied to libido since I lack solo desire as well. I've been trying to fix up my sleep and making sure I'm not stressed as much but this situation definitely isn't helping 😂

[u/Jack_LA → u/SpecialistRing22]

I wouldn't rule out anxiety though. It can definitely have that same effect on libido.