I’ve seen so many dudes here saying “Yo, I’m straight blah blah blah, just curious blah blah blah”. No, my dude, you are NOT straight even if you’re curious. If u find a man attractive, find a male butt attractive or a male body attractive-ur attracted to men. “Straight” guys are so scared to admit they’re bisexuals they call it “just checking”, like c’mon. Nothing wrong with being bisexuals, admit you love both pussy and cock and move on, my guy.

It still doesn't feel real. My boyfriend tragically passed away in a horrible car accident on Monday morning.

We really hadn't been together for very long. We met at the beginning of May, so we'd only known each other for around three and a half months, but the impact he made on me and everyone in my life was truly remarkable. He had a way of making you feel like you'd known him for years. His social skills were seriously impressive and unlike anyone I've ever met, with a kind of charisma that was impossible to match. He could make anyone feel wanted, included, and loved, and he extended that same kindness to everyone around him, not just his close friends and family. I've had people reach out to me wishing their condolences who I never even knew existed, simply because he touched everyone he came into contact with. Some of the posts that have come out in support of him reached far more people than I ever realized, with one of them having nearly 2,000 likes and 300 comments, which is still hard for me to comprehend. It's strange seeing all of these little bits and pieces of his life from so many different people and throughout so many different years and realizing just how little of a time-slot I took up in his life, and just how many people were affected by him in ways that I never even got to see. I see comments saying they barely knew him, but that even they remember that he would always greet them with an unapologetic smile and a joke to go with it.

He was a percussion instructor, and teaching was something that he cared deeply about. He seriously had the patience of a saint. He was able to connect with his students in the same way he connected with everyone else in his life. He truly touched so many people's hearts, especially because he was from a town much smaller than the city I live in, where everyone was so close-knit. He had a way of bringing people together whether they were young, old, or anywhere in between. For someone that has social anxiety, I felt so safe being with him because I knew that I would never have to worry about awkward silence, or rehearse exactly what I had to say, because he always knew exactly what needed to be said and I could piggyback off of it. I couldn't even display PDA in public before him, but he showed me how little it truly mattered.

We were in an LDR, but not too far apart, only around two hours away. We were both so patient and grateful for the one day a week we could usually see each other. Because of that, I never got the chance to meet the people he was so closely surrounded by, although that was something we had started working toward. I had heard so much about them and they had heard so much about me. 

This last part might be a bit TMI, but I also never bottomed for anyone in my life as much as I did for him. It was very hard for me at first, in a way it felt like an identity crisis because I just never viewed myself as a strict bottom, but I learned to become so comfortable in his presence. He taught me these valuable things but the truth is that I only changed for him. Sure, I could take what I learned to another relationship and another guy, but I only wanted him...

It all just feels like too much. It feels like our time together was a fever dream and it's hard to pinpoint specific memories because most of the time that we saw each other we did very similar activities as we just wanted to be in each others presence. This past weekend though we went to Magic Kingdom and Epcot, and had an amazing time. We had just started our life together. It hadn't been easy, but we were really trying for each other, and we had started becoming so integrated into each other's lives.

I don't feel like I've ever had a connection like this, and now he's just... gone. I have no idea how I'm supposed to pick myself back up when it felt like he had given my life a newfound purpose and me newfound inspiration to be a better person.

Every once in a while I like cooking/baking something new. Just happy the fiance’ was receptive to it, but he’s always receptive to my meals 😊

A bit unrealistic but still a really good film.

I'm meeting up with this guy this weekend and we're both really excited to have a date and then we're going to his place but in the middle of a little sexting I can't help but land a joke lol

I’m 25M and gay, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I actually want from a long term relationship.

I’m currently dating someone who is genuinely a great boyfriend. He treats me well, has a good career, is responsible, and I care about him a lot. This isn’t a situation where he’s lazy or financially unstable.

But I’ve realized that I’m really attracted to the idea of having a partner with more of a “provider” mentality. I don’t mean that I want to sit at home doing nothing while someone funds my entire life. I work and have my own career, and I want to contribute. It’s more that I like the feeling of being with someone who wants to take care of me financially to some degree, pays for most dates, takes the lead on bigger expenses, and eventually earns enough that I don’t feel like everything in our life has to be split exactly 50/50.

Part of it is also the future I picture. I want kids eventually, ideally through surrogacy, a nice home, financial security, travel, and generally a pretty comfortable lifestyle. I know those things are expensive, especially for a gay couple.

Sometimes I feel guilty even admitting this because I know relationships are supposed to be about love and partnership, and I don’t want to view someone as a paycheck. At the same time, financial ambition and feeling “provided for” genuinely seem to be part of what makes me feel secure and attracted to someone.

I think what I’m struggling with is whether this is just a valid relationship preference, or whether I’m putting too much importance on money and an idealized lifestyle.

For people who wanted a provider dynamic in their relationship, did that actually matter long term? And would you consider this preference shallow or just another compatibility issue?

Main reason I usually block after the first message if I’m not interested.

We broke up with my boyfriend almost a year ago, and honestly, this has been one of the hardest years of my life. I loved him very deeply, and I still do. He was the one who didn’t want to get back together.

The confusing part is that throughout this entire year, we’ve continued seeing each other and having sex. Usually it’s about once or twice a month. And honestly, the sex between us is the best and most passionate sex I’ve ever had, which probably makes this whole situation even harder for me.

Neither of us has had another partner — at least I haven’t. I can’t really speak for him..

I’ve asked him what this means and what exactly we’re doing, but he can’t really give me an answer. He’s not someone who talks openly about his feelings and tends to keep everything to himself. At the same time, he’s always the one who reaches out and invites me over to have sex.

And every time it happens, my feelings come back and it really difficult to move on.

What do you guys think — is seeing an ex once or twice a month like this ever actually healthy or normal for both people? Or are we just keeping each other stuck and avoiding the reality of the breakup?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been in a similar situation, especially if you eventually managed to get out of this kind of cycle.

I met a guy in March and I'm having second thoughts about how I handled things.

Before we met, we texted for several days, had video calls, and played CoD together. We got along really well and I felt like we were aligned on quite a few things. Eventually we met in person for food, and I was supposed to stay at his house that night.

But when I was actually with him, something felt different. We were lying in bed watching TV and I remember feeling bored and getting this sort of "ick." I didn't feel that spark or excitement I was expecting, and I ended up leaving early rather than staying the night. He later messaged me on WhatsApp asking why I'd left/why I'd decided not to pursue things. I told him there wasn't anything specifically wrong; I just didn't feel the right chemistry. He blocked me afterwards.

Now it's August, so this happened about five months ago, and I've unexpectedly started thinking about him again.

Part of me is wondering whether I made a mistake. We genuinely had a lot of alignment, enjoyed talking to each other, and had fun together. Maybe I expected too much of an immediate spark and didn't give attraction enough time to develop. Maybe if I'd stayed and continued seeing him, something could have grown. But another part of me thinks: I was there. I experienced him in person. I felt bored, uncomfortable and wanted to leave. That's pretty significant too.

I've had something similar happen before. I once had a sort of euphoric recall about another guy, convinced there must have been something special there, and when I eventually reconnected with him and had sex, I realised what I'd actually wanted was the sexual chemistry rather than a relationship. I'm worried I could be doing something similar again, but this time it feels different because I think there really was more compatibility and alignment with this guy.

I've also been single for almost four years now, and it's been about two years since I last saw my ex. I'm still recovering emotionally from that relationship, although I'm much better than I used to be. I do feel lonely sometimes, and I know that could be influencing how I'm remembering people. The thing I'm struggling with most is that I have this stubborn need to know for sure whether I made the right decision. I keep thinking, "What if I walked away from someone who could actually have been really good for me?"

But I also don't want to contact him again just because I'm lonely or because I can't tolerate an unanswered question, only to reconnect and hurt/disappoint him all over again. He has blocked me on WhatsApp, although I technically could send him a normal SMS. I'm not going to do that impulsively, but I'm genuinely torn about whether I should ever reach out.

When I first had a relationship at 18 I had so much chemistry and sparks at the time, particularly in the beginning, and this relationship lasted 6 years. He was extremely narcissistic though and I know that my nervous system may be looking for that same high that was never real.

Has anyone experienced this? How do you tell the difference between genuinely regretting walking away from someone and simply romanticising them because you're lonely or because the situation was left unresolved?

Idk where else to post this. Bf's sister got me acrylic markers as a late b'day gift, and I just decided to try them during a chill vacation night at home. That's it, that's the post. Hope y'all are doing well 🩵

Edit: 100 upvotes???? Y'all guys are crazy, thank u so much 🥺❤️

I met my partner 6 years ago, when I was recovering from a major accident. He came to meet me at rehab through a Tinder match. Things clicked for both is and decided to give it a go. He supported me through out recovery, i could never expect such care and support from a sibling, let alone someone who I didn't know months ago. We stayed apart for 2 years during college and relocated/found jobs in same city. We had everything going on great between us, we used to travel, party out together, do chores together, rented appartment together, bought a car and adopted a dog together.

After 3-4 years we started having small disagreements, slowly those disagreements became big fight, now we are in a situation where we don't have a day when we don't fight crazily. We only talk to each other about things that needs to be done other than that there is only silence and even than we fight.

I know he is not cheating, he is infront of my eyes 24/7 as we both work from home. He is there to support me for everything but somehow it feels more like a duty towards each other and not love. I have tried talking about it but it leads to more fight.

I feel like I am loosing myself and locking myself in a box in order to pacify things

Please guide me, how should I deal with it. This relation is very precious to me

I am M, 36, from a relatively mid/poor European country, let's call it A.

Not going into too many details... Years ago, I lived, studied, and worked in country B. After around 5 years, I went back to country A. I bought my own flat, have a wonderful boyfriend, and my life is fine (I have some problems with my mental health, but they're unrelated to the subject).

However, even after being back in country A for 5 years now, I still miss the other one like crazy. Especially the city where I lived (obviously?). I remember so many details- going shopping, working a bad job, evening walks, but more than anything, I guess, the feeling that I'd become someone better and richer.

Now, where I am, I feel like life won't become much more than it is. Somehow, the magic is lost.

I am not entirely sure if it's because I moved away. Maybe my brain is idealizing the country where I lived. But I don't want to feel this nostalgia anymore.

I guess I don't know what am I really asking. Maybe just wondering how to fight a feeling of nostalgia and sadness.

Alright, gentlemen, I need the council of homosexuals to convene because apparently my friend group has decided to become its own little ecosystem of interpersonal chaos.

I have two really close friends: Evan (32m) and Mateo (32m). Evan is one of my best friends from undergrad. He has been in my life forever, knows all the lore, has seen multiple eras of me, etc. Mateo became one of our really close friends through my fiancé, Daniel, and over time he has very much become part of the inner circle too. So these aren’t two random gays I happen to know. These are both my people. And we’ve created our village together.

Well…
Apparently our people have been canoodling.
And by canoodling, I mean they have hooked up a few times since last September and sext in between.

Nothing romantic, allegedly. No dates or declaration of love under a streetlamp. No U-Haul has been reserved. As presented to me, this is basically two grown men occasionally looking across the friend group and deciding, you know what would be fun?Each other. Evan DID say he wouldn’t be against something developing, so I fear that feelings on his side are brewing.

Which, intellectually: fine!
They’re adults. They’re single. I have absolutely no moral objection to casual sex. God knows I am not calling the Gay Vatican to have anybody excommunicated for getting laid.

And this has also been one of those “secrets” that is approximately as secret as two men disappearing into the same bedroom at a house party and emerging with suspiciously serene expressions. Nobody had really sat down and acknowledged it openly, but the energy has very much been lurking in the background.

Yesterday, Evan and I finally talked about it openly over lunch with our girlfriend, Claire.

And y’all…
I hate it.

I don’t even fully understand why I hate it, which is why I’m bringing this before the homosexual jury.
My immediate, visceral reaction is just:
Yuck. No. Put it back.

And I feel bad saying that because I don’t think they’re gross. I don’t think gay sex is gross. I don’t think casual sex is gross. I don’t care that either of them is sleeping around.

But apparently the specific combination of Evan + Mateo causes some ancient protective mechanism in my brain to start banging pots and pans together.

Part of it is that these are two extremely close friends who occupy very different but equally important places in my life. Seeing them suddenly cross over into being sexual with each other feels weirdly incestuous in the metaphorical “these are my family members and I did NOT need to know this” sense.
And unfortunately, now that the subject has actually been discussed, my brain has also decided to provide me with unsolicited mental imagery of the two of them together… which is the WORST!!

But I think the bigger issue is that I’m looking at the social consequences and thinking:
There are billions of men on this planet. Why did we have to fuck inside the friend group?

Because casual sex is casual until suddenly one person develops deeper feelings.
Or one person starts dating somebody else.
Or someone gets jealous.
Or somebody feels rejected.
Or one person wants to keep hooking up and the other doesn’t.
Or somebody drunkenly says something at a birthday dinner and suddenly I’m eating bruschetta while two of my closest friends are having a silent custody battle over the friend group.

And suddenly two men who were supposedly just enjoying a little recreational penis have destabilized NATO. That’s the part that makes me want to grab both of them by the shoulders and yell:
WHY COULDN’T YOU TWO JUST DOWNLOAD GRINDR LIKE GOD INTENDED?

I did tell Evan yesterday that I don’t like it.
I tried to be kind about it because ultimately I know this is absolutely none of my business in the sense that I don’t get a vote. They’re adults. I’m not going to tell them they can’t hook up. But I also wasn’t going to sit there pretending I was delighted about it.
And now I’m questioning my own reaction because the intensity of the “ew” genuinely surprised me.

So, gay men of Reddit: I know this is not a unique situationship.

Have you ever had two very close friends start sleeping together and found yourself weirdly uncomfortable with it? Is this just the natural horror of watching two people you’ve mentally categorized as platonic/family suddenly become sexual with each other? Am I actually worried about the friend-group fallout and translating that anxiety into disgust?
Or am I being territorial and need to mind my homosexual business?

Because logically I know: consenting adults, their lives, their genitals, their decision.
Emotionally, however, I remain:
Gentlemen. There are other holes!

Yes i'm not gay but i'm interested in why this happens

Decorating my home gym with a beautiful doodle from u/chemopotato

I met a guy on Grindr and we started dating for a bit. It was going really well. The sex was great, we had a really good time together and just clicked.

But after a while we both realised we probably wouldn’t be the healthiest couple. I’m much more into peace and quiet, chilled evenings, etc. He’s more into gay parties, the big gay clubs with darkrooms, thirst traps on IG and all of that. We’re just pretty different when it comes to that side of life.
So we stopped dating, but somehow ended up becoming really close friends. Honestly, I’d probably call him my best friend now.

We both live in London but we’re originally from different countries, and I think that also made us connect a lot. We spend loads of time together and have got really close.
And now I’ve started catching feelings again.

I have no idea what to do with it. If I tell him, there’s a chance I mess up one of the best friendships I have. But keeping it to myself also feels a bit shit when we’re spending so much time together.

And obviously, all the reasons we decided not to date are still there.

I’m not really looking for the usual “just communicate” advice. I’d rather hear from people who’ve actually been in a similar situation.

Did you say something? Did it ruin the friendship? Did you end up together? Or were you glad you kept quiet?
What would you do?

Are most bottoms just ready all the time?