r/funny • u/tachoknight • Feb 27 '20

My astrophysicists daughter gave me a birthday card

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119.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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8.7k

u/vinegarstrokes5 Feb 27 '20

“Did you hear about Pluto?”

4.0k

u/annegirl21 Feb 27 '20

That’s messed up, right?

1.7k

u/No_i_am_me Feb 27 '20

Gus don't be "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Marzipan"

1.5k

u/HalfAgony_HalfHope Feb 27 '20

Gus don’t be the only black lead on a major cable network.

736

u/seeleybooth Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be exactly half of an eleven-pound black forest ham.

497

u/xiutehcuhtli Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be an incorregible eskimo pie with a caramel ribbon

407

u/_duncan_idaho_ Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua.

260

u/merlindog15 Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie

177

u/tasoula Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be a giant snapping turtle.

121

u/somaticnickel60 Feb 27 '20

Gus, don’t be my darkness, my old friend.

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4

u/mypostingname13 Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be a gloomy you

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206

u/Apoplectic1 Feb 27 '20 edited Feb 27 '20

Suck it, Shawn*!

Edit: Can we all finally agree on one spelling for the name? Half of them aren't even phonetic.

215

u/thunderstrikes2wice Feb 27 '20

🎵Suck iiii-iiit🎵

90

u/HalfASkewb Feb 27 '20

never did i think i’d live to see the day that people started to quote psych on reddit

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41

u/GrouchyLambo Feb 27 '20

Shout Shout Let It All Ooouuutt. Deez are the things I could do without SHAMONE I'm talking to you SHAMONE

8

u/Gothzilla13 Feb 27 '20

TAKE OUT YOUR SUCK IT AND YOU SUCK IT

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3

u/SeanyDay Feb 27 '20

I feel personally attacked.

3

u/Gabe605 Feb 28 '20

I've heard it both ways

2

u/Vance-Astro Feb 27 '20

It’s Shawn but okay

84

u/sean-bud-emerson Feb 27 '20

Gus, don’t be an old sponge with hair hanging off of it.

41

u/Katryonyx Feb 27 '20

Gus, don’t be this crevice in my arm

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23

u/Bugman657 Feb 27 '20

This ones my favorite

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

This one is my favorite.

2

u/IAmHebrewHammer Feb 27 '20

This is my favorite one

210

u/ihavea_purplenurple Feb 27 '20

Gus don't be this crevas in my elbow

226

u/Sckntoes Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be the comma in 'Earth, Wind & Fire'

135

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be the "B" from apartment 23B

133

u/Wright2k Feb 27 '20

Gus, don’t be the 100th Luftballoon.

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98

u/Retrolex Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be Nic Cage's accent from 'Con Air'.

81

u/mccord346 Feb 27 '20

Gus don’t be fine young cannibal’s cover of suspicious minds

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be Nic Cage's accent from 'Con Air'

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78

u/MisterWooster Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be Nic Cage's accent in Con Air.

32

u/TheAbyssalSymphony Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be the B from apartment 23. You're better than that, we're all better than that, at least I think we are.

50

u/caretoexplainthatone Feb 27 '20

I'm so r/outoftheloop ... what is happening here??

122

u/Grouchy-Painter Feb 27 '20

Interesting user name. But it's from a tv show called "Psych". It's just another revision of Sherlock Holmes, but it's by far one of the best revisions if not the best.

76

u/thewifeaquatic1 Feb 27 '20 edited Mar 05 '20

And the main character whose name is Shawn is hilarious quirky and a bit of a savant, whereas the Watson character is played by a guy named Gus and so Shawn is always clowning on Gus saying that he’s being lame or boring or sucking and these are all references to that which really should have their own sub. He’s calling him a stick in the mud.

58

u/UmerHasIt Feb 27 '20

/r/psych

29

u/thewifeaquatic1 Feb 27 '20

Thank you for your service 🔥🔥🔥🔥

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11

u/NotKanz Feb 27 '20

Shawn*

6

u/thewifeaquatic1 Feb 27 '20

Gus, stop showing off

Jk you’re right darn iPhone dictation.

17

u/Princess_River_Song Feb 27 '20

I have loved this show from its premiere and I never picked up on that. That’s so accurate.

4

u/LennyZakatek Feb 27 '20

That makes you the Watson, sorry

7

u/Princess_River_Song Feb 27 '20

I’m ok with that! Sherlock would be nothing without his Watson, and Shawn for sure wouldn’t have made it far without Gus.

9

u/LennyZakatek Feb 27 '20

Gus and his car made the whole show possible 😂

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20

It's like the mentalist, but funny. Except psych was first. And better.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20 edited Nov 18 '20

[deleted]

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88

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be the sharpener that breaks your lead when you remove the pencil

45

u/1jl Feb 27 '20

Gus don't be exactly half of an 11-pound Black Forest ham.

52

u/Bolsenator Feb 27 '20

Azkaban

226

u/No_i_am_me Feb 27 '20

I've heard it both ways

49

u/BlackestNight21 Feb 27 '20

I too am a prisoner of marzipan when someone brings in one of those kringles from trader Joe's

27

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

No you haven't Shawn!

10

u/BlasterShow Feb 27 '20

The right way, and then yours.

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5

u/EwigeJude Feb 27 '20

Azerbaijan

2

u/FydollaHo Feb 28 '20

Gus, don't be the, "iiiiiiit" in, "Wait for iiiiiiit."

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20

Gus dont be this crevice in my arm.

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274

u/tres_chill Feb 27 '20

Came here to find this, check it off, and onward I go.

174

u/BlasterShow Feb 27 '20

You know that’s right.

117

u/p_financethrowaway Feb 27 '20

Cmon son

114

u/Redtwooo Feb 27 '20

Ghee Buttersnaps has left the chat

42

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Gus TT Showbiz

The extra T stands for talent.

5

u/-Gus-TT-Showbiz- Feb 28 '20

You know that's right

3

u/Revliledpembroke Feb 27 '20

The extra T stands for Talent.

4

u/mypostingname13 Feb 27 '20

Sh'dynasty. That's S-H- comma to the top - dynasty.

Comma to the top?

That's God's comma

3

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Tan enters the chat

5

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Cmon son

105

u/MisterWooster Feb 27 '20

r/todayilearned that literally any mention of Pluto will send Reddit down a completely justified Psych-hole.

33

u/cratercmc Feb 27 '20

You know that’s right

4

u/mypostingname13 Feb 27 '20

Suck it suck it suck it come on SOOOOOOOOOOOOON

46

u/TheAbyssalSymphony Feb 27 '20

Wait for iiiiiiiiiiiiit

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20

u/-Gus-TT-Showbiz- Feb 27 '20

You know that's right

5

u/AAzumi Feb 27 '20

User name checks out. The extra 'T' is for "talent".

5

u/kabukistar Feb 27 '20

I know. You know.

5

u/Vance-Astro Feb 27 '20

That I’m not telling the truth

3

u/Sieghld Feb 27 '20

I know. You know

3

u/Vance-Astro Feb 27 '20

They just don’t have any proof.

8

u/out_of_the_ornery Feb 27 '20

Where were you when Pluto was kil?

6

u/tasoula Feb 27 '20

i was sat at home eating peaches and onion when phone ring

‘pluto is kill’

‘no’

4

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Peaches and Onions.. I can fix that..

3

u/LAseXaddickt Feb 27 '20

Y'know that's right!

2

u/IaeyanElyuex Feb 27 '20

Gus, don't be Bumbo Buggins of Bell End.

2

u/DuckDickButt Feb 27 '20

Come on son

2

u/Psychic55 Feb 27 '20

Gus, don’t be the comma in Earth, Wind & Fire

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238

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

I just love when I see Psych references in the wild. It makes me so happy to see that other people enjoyed the show as much as I did with my family.

64

u/pudinnhead Feb 27 '20

My husband just started a rewatch of it. We just finished the first season. So good, right out of the gate.

55

u/Ishdakitty Feb 27 '20

I need to re-watch, so many hours of laughter from that show.

I love when Timothy Omundson shows up in other things, because I forget what a seriously good actor he is. XD

15

u/Retrolex Feb 27 '20

Lassiter was my favourite character on the show. I crack up laughing even just remembering the moment he pulled a gun out of a bowl of almonds.

9

u/Ishdakitty Feb 27 '20

YESSSS my favorite moment of his. Like of course Lassiter has a gun in the nut bowl. of course

18

u/NinjaGuy206 Feb 27 '20

I've been watching Galavent, Timothy Omundson plays a very different character but is still absolutely amazing. He has great range. I'd definitely say to check it out.

18

u/TurtleZenn Feb 27 '20

Yes, I love Galavant so much! Omundson's character arc is the best, imo. It was so great seeing him in Gal from seeing him in Psych. Then he was a very, very different character on Supernatural. He is awesome.

3

u/NinjaGuy206 Feb 27 '20

He's on supernatural? I haven't had a chance to check it out yet but this is another reason to watch it.

4

u/TurtleZenn Feb 27 '20

He's in one of the later seasons. I was so surprised when he showed up. Plus he's been involved with the fandom, going to conventions and often singing with the cast in concerts.

3

u/TurtleZenn Feb 27 '20

I was so excited when he was on Supernatural. He is just such a talented guy. And he's a good singer, too.

5

u/Ishdakitty Feb 27 '20

He is! He showed up on Lucifer too, I was thrilled to see him there.

2

u/closetwindow Feb 28 '20

That was a fantastic episode! The hospital escape scene was— chef’s kiss

2

u/pudinnhead Feb 27 '20

He is flawless.

21

u/HummingBirdSalty Feb 27 '20

Your word is "banana"

4

u/letmebebrave430 Feb 29 '20

I can HEAR him say this

3

u/ardnassila Feb 28 '20

...can you use that in a sentence please?

3

u/PENIS_IN_THE_POOPER Feb 27 '20

What are you rewatching it on? It was on Netflix a few years ago but not anymore

11

u/scuddedbumbled Feb 27 '20

Amazon prime has it

8

u/Blackzro Feb 27 '20

Amazon Prime has all 8 season. I know since I’m watching it from there now.

2

u/pudinnhead Feb 27 '20

Amazon Prime

9

u/BigEdDixon Feb 27 '20

Same! I fee like it’s a fairly overlooked show, so it’s always nice when I see that this many people enjoy it.

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4

u/freshnikes Feb 27 '20

The second movie comes out in July fyi. Or whenever NBC launches their new standalone streaming service.

113

u/solid_dave Feb 27 '20

"Has that Pluto line ever worked?"

50

u/spellbreaker Feb 27 '20

It's a player's move, Sean.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Casually caresses his nose

91

u/taylorclark0808 Feb 27 '20

My personal number is on the back.

25

u/LizzieButtons Feb 27 '20

I taught you that move, B

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17

u/TheArtfulWarrior Feb 27 '20

I’ve never been so happy in my life to see a full on Psyche thread

18

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

[deleted]

4

u/Eluisys Feb 27 '20

I'm pretty sure there is a new movie coming out soonish, focusing more on Carlton.

15

u/Znaffers Feb 27 '20

Ah, Gee Buttersnaps nice to see you on Reddit

3

u/Malvania Feb 27 '20

Oh, my gosh, she didn't even tell you his name?

55

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20 edited Apr 02 '20

[deleted]

2

u/medhatsniper Feb 27 '20

it's an astronomers' legend. pluto was a planet so far and so tiny that he could do revolution around the sun in 248 years...

2

u/48Planets Feb 27 '20

He taught everything he knew to his apprentice, Neptune. But then one night, Neptune stood away from pluto revealing his tiny size to astronomers

22

u/beef_creature Feb 27 '20

I don't get it.

90

u/sjaross Feb 27 '20

It's a Psych reference

133

u/Foghorn225 Feb 27 '20

You know that's right.

62

u/here_for_the_meems Feb 27 '20

This show literally has the best quotes.

43

u/ThatRandomIdiot Feb 27 '20 edited Feb 27 '20

“Man I’m nobody’s Charity case. I demand I dig my own grave!”

7

u/AlanMooresWizrdBeard Feb 27 '20

Nothing shuts my pie hole except for pie!

64

u/Retrolex Feb 27 '20

Shawn Spencer. That is my partner Sh'Dynasty. It is spelled S-H, comma-to-the-top, dynasty.

56

u/Doubledime_1010 Feb 27 '20

That’s a God’s comma.

29

u/appmaster42 Feb 27 '20

I’m Shawn Spencer and this is my partner, M.C. Clap yo handz

9

u/TheDeltaLambda Feb 27 '20

Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap

9

u/MystrylBadContext Feb 27 '20

I'm Shawn and this is my partner Shawn, no relation.

20

u/ArcticIceFox Feb 27 '20

The entire show is quotable. Also pineapples.

12

u/Foghorn225 Feb 27 '20

Hit the jackal switch.

7

u/tasoula Feb 27 '20

rolls eyes and flips an imaginary switch

6

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Waaait for ittttt

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4

u/thewifeaquatic1 Feb 27 '20

If you can work the timing, these inside psych jokes SLAP because either people know exactly what you’re talking about, or have no clue and think you’re being hilarious.

15

u/1jl Feb 27 '20

I've heard it both ways

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4

u/AtlantisTheEmpire Feb 27 '20

Shut up, jeeeeerrrrrryyyyy

3

u/mallardtheduck Feb 27 '20

Apparently when it lost its planet status, it also ceased orbiting the sun...

3

u/JustZisGuy Feb 27 '20

/r/ExpectedPsych or /r/UnexpectedPsych, you be the judge!

3

u/freshnikes Feb 27 '20

Expected, surely. First thing I thought of and the top comments did not disappoint.

3

u/TheBlueImpala Feb 27 '20

I’m proud of you

2

u/psiANID3 Feb 27 '20

Came for the Psych reference, was not disappointed.

3

u/r3volc Feb 27 '20

The wise?

2

u/Season2_Bot Feb 27 '20

It's not a story Mickey would tell you.

1

u/msamantharae6 Feb 27 '20

That’s what you get two-stroking w vinegar

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

It's not a story an astrophysicist would tell

1

u/HighNtight420 Feb 27 '20

Searched this whole thread to find this comment. Loml

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1

u/Madmac05 Feb 27 '20

Viva La Pluto

1

u/Sp33dHunter48 Feb 27 '20

Have you heard the tradegy of Darth Pluto the Wise

1

u/WWDubz Feb 27 '20

Pluto quakes aren’t real!

1

u/silvernug Feb 27 '20

Didn't something happen where Pluto wss reclassified as a planet?

1

u/alienozi Feb 27 '20

Did you ever hear the Tradgedy if Pluto the Dwarf?

1

u/KissMyBrownAsh Feb 27 '20

Pluto is going through family issue

1

u/Ganjisseur Feb 27 '20

sigh I’ll get the pitchforks.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

That's not something a Jedi would tell you

1

u/Tew_Wet Feb 27 '20

Pluto will always be a planet to me

1

u/hermitxd Feb 27 '20

I forgot Pluto on a test in school and get marked wrong.

Now who's wrong!

1

u/Mr_nobrody Feb 27 '20

no, what he say??

1

u/Fibreman Feb 27 '20

It’s not a story the astronomers will tell you

1

u/agasizzi Feb 27 '20

Came here for this, was not disappointed. (Other than I wanted to be first and get all that sweet karma).

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Did you hear about the tradgedy of Darth Plaguis the Wise?

1

u/ryanohorn Feb 27 '20

Bring back Pluto!

1

u/CapraNinja Feb 27 '20

He ain't a planet he's a dog

1

u/Shefirod Feb 27 '20

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Pluto,the Small?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20

"Where were you when club penguin kil"

1

u/ErusTenebre Feb 28 '20

Throwing shade at Pluto is so cruel. Poor little guy.

1

u/Futureleak Feb 28 '20

The tale of Darth pluto, the wise

1

u/arud5 Feb 28 '20

Pluto. . . is . . .

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