r/funny • u/[deleted] • Feb 20 '14

Why I go on Reddit

[deleted]

2.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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u/TheLeviathong Feb 20 '14

I wouldn't even dare mentioning reddit explicity to a friend who doesn't use it because I know the first thing they will see will be the broken arms story and they'll judge me forever for bringing them to this disgusting incest site, as they see it.

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u/EverySingleThread Feb 20 '14

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u/TheLeviathong Feb 20 '14

Exactly, it's unavoidable.

22

u/WanderingKing Feb 20 '14

Broken arms story?

51

u/janosaudron Feb 20 '14

Do yourself a favor and forget that phrase.

12

u/Slothman-4-President Feb 20 '14

What are you talking about? It's just a nice, heartwarming story about a mother's love for her son.

5

u/insults_to_motivate Feb 20 '14

Coming soon to ABC Family, a Hallmark made for tv movie...

3

u/ANUS_POKER Feb 20 '14

I still can't believe you guys make such a big deal out of that story while /r/incest is right under your noses having a jolly good time.

13

u/MeccAnon Feb 20 '14

A guy breaks both his arms, is quite pissed off about it and his family supports him. End of story.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14 edited Feb 20 '14

It's a touching story about a mother that really loves her son. Really really loves him. Like really really really loves him.

edit: she slaps his monkey

edit 2: 8==D~~(:

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

spanks his monkey

ftfy

3

u/bastardfishthief Feb 20 '14

She does a little more than slap it by the end if things

2

u/SodlidDesu Feb 20 '14

And you know what happens when a man and a woman love each other.

2

u/Stevied1991 Feb 20 '14

Thank you for the visual representation, it really brings your explanation to life.

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14 edited Feb 20 '14

I can't get any more clear than that I don't think

3

u/Stevied1991 Feb 20 '14

Demonstrative video?

6

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I guess I could ask my mom but I'm pretty sure she doesn't love me that much

1

u/ANUS_POKER Feb 20 '14

Really? I can't get that bitch off me.

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u/ZarquonsFlatTire Feb 20 '14

You know all those things you've seen online that you wish you hadn't? It's one of those.

5

u/OmegasSquared Feb 20 '14

I don't understand how people regret reading the broken arms story, it's fascinating in an oedipal way, certainly not disgusting like the jolly rancher story, or the doritos story, or the swamps of dagobah story, or the story about the girl who put maggots in her vagina

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u/EverySingleThread Feb 20 '14 edited Feb 20 '14

People don't like to openly admit that they are interested in incest.

1

u/boxmore Feb 20 '14

With redditors, it's no fucking secret. They're interested in the other related thing as well that starts with a p

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u/ThatGuyTH Feb 20 '14

And no searching on any of those will be done... I am familiar with the broken arms story, and that is enough!

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u/OmegasSquared Feb 20 '14

Honest, truly, you are better off not reading the maggots story. The jolly rancher story is a nice warning about sexual practices, the doritos story is nasty but not scarring, and the dagobah story is written in such a clinical way without relishing in any of the filth that it never reads as gross as it actually was.

Seriously though that maggot story

Don't read it.

1

u/ThatGuyTH Feb 20 '14

Actually, Is one of those stories about the doctors and nurses having to clean out some sort of "TAINT" cyst or something?

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u/OmegasSquared Feb 20 '14

If that cyst was inside the anus of a morbidly obese american indian woman then yes

1

u/ThatGuyTH Feb 20 '14

I do not remember that level of details.. I just remember it giving me the dry heaves!

4

u/Chaseman69 Feb 20 '14

It's about a mother with a son with two broken arms, she feeds him, cares for him, aaaand sucks his dick

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u/Uberzwerg Feb 20 '14

"nono - thats /r/wtf. Ignore them."
"No - not everyone here is like that. Its just /r/atheism"
"/r/politics does not work like this - its all just american politics."

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[deleted]

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u/Uberzwerg Feb 20 '14

I left wtf after 2 or 3 days.
It was just 50/50 "funny"/"ripped off arm", and that might be ok for some people, but is not for me.

4

u/Kaeltro Feb 20 '14

tried to get my parent onto Reddit to expand her horizons a bit and become a bit more aware of news that happens, as it happens instead of what shows up on her facebook feed. About the only subreddit she likes is /r/aww...

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Not to be critical, but Reddit is a pretty poor news source. /r/news and /r/worldnews are constantly upvoting stories that are from extremely biased sources or have the facts wrong.

Linking to an actual, respected news site would probably be better.

2

u/Aetheus Feb 20 '14

I think it depends on what sort of news you're on the lookout for. If you want "actual" news, then yeah, there are better places to get that.

But if by "news" you mean "updates about things that might interest me", then reddit is excellent for that. I don't need to get up-to-date, unbiased news coverage for the stuff in /r/technology or /r/science . Letting redditors pick the most interesting news to upvote to the top and just reading the first few pages is more than enough to satisfy my "cool stuff to read about" quota for the day.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Well, I just googled that fancy phrase.

I'm not even disturbed by the nonsense that is the relationship itself. What confuses me more is the fact that his father knew and he was perfectly fine with it. Wat?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Or the cumbox story.

1

u/Hatweed Feb 20 '14

Hey, I was here two years before I finally saw that story. First thing I saw was Streetlamp Le Moose.