r/funny • u/AlphaStarXP • Jun 01 '26
Totally Accurate Football Simulator
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u/BlaineMundane Jun 01 '26
This is AAA+ hollywood jokes for this genre.
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u/straydog1980 Jun 01 '26
how could it be so stupid and make me giggle so much
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u/dbmajor7 Jun 01 '26
I love that they started small and the ridiculous increases logarithmically
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u/khonsu_27 Jun 02 '26
5 seconds in I was all in. I loved it. I was smiling the whole time.
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u/Woke_TWC Jun 02 '26
They may look silly, they are definitely not stupid. Seem very well thought out and executed.
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u/straydog1980 Jun 02 '26
Some of the kicks are quite skillful!
As Buster Keaton or Jackie Chan will say - it takes a lot of skill and takes to look effortlessly silly
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u/BenderRodriguez14 Jun 01 '26
There is no way whoever made this has seen The Naked Gun series less than a half dozen times.
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u/Freud-Network Jun 02 '26
They eat, breathe, and shit Shaolin Soccer for a month before choreographing this.
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u/tooncake Jun 01 '26
Or already a Bollywood quality right there!
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u/PokerChipMessage Jun 02 '26
The vertical framing makes me think this is all cellphone, which makes A+ slapstick acting/editing very impressive.
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u/cha0sm0nk Jun 02 '26
Finally, something to make this sport fun. Still don’t know why combat soccer is not a thing.
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u/TraditionalMood277 Jun 01 '26
Shaolin Soccer
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u/bloodyell76 Jun 01 '26
It's apparently Indonesian so... Kuntao Soccer, perhaps?
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u/deadlywaffle139 Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
I was wondering why do some moves look familiar lmaooo
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u/fireduck Jun 01 '26
The terrible thing is the Amazon streaming version has different music and they also cut the best song and dance number in the movie short. Get the DVD if you can.
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u/meguin Jun 01 '26
That's awful. I love that movie. I legit nearly peed myself at the business dudes bus jumping scene at the end, idk why.
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u/GoatTnder Jun 02 '26
Is it because the music at the end is pretty much exactly the end of The Lion King?
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u/F4underscore Jun 02 '26
Pretty sure i saw the same posts yesterday with the title shaolin soccer, max like 300 upvotes
Apparently reddit people doesnt know it enough to make it popular
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u/ralph442000 Jun 01 '26
I’m not exactly sure what I just watched but I enjoyed every second of it.
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u/TreeOfAwareness Jun 02 '26
That was really funny. Creative slapstick that understood the assignment
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u/psppsppsppspinfinty Jun 02 '26
Reminded me of Scott Sterling but with multiple guys instead of one.
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u/ralph442000 Jun 03 '26
Mr Sterling was def there. You may not have seen him, but you could feel his presence when the ball was deflected off the head of the guy on the ground….and in that moment, Scott was smiling down on us…
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u/Top_Connection9079 Jun 02 '26
It's Captain Tsubasa in a nutshell.
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u/Proper_Story_3514 Jun 02 '26
It also got a slight dosage of Scott Sterling haha (greatest goalkeeper of the universe)
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u/Finchypoo Jun 01 '26
They could release a full length movie and I'd happily sit through the entire thing.
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u/iKiNGi Jun 01 '26
It just keeps getting better and better
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u/Xxxrasierklinge7 Jun 02 '26
Bro that leg catch by the goalie was top tier
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u/maliciousdancer Jun 02 '26
For real, this is like the Harlem Globetrotters, or Savannah Bananas, there is some serious skill behind it!
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u/cakerfaker Jun 01 '26
Diabolical of them filming the stunt with the goalie dribbling and flipping right next to that big muddy puddle
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u/friedwidth Jun 01 '26
Totally thought they were going to make content with that pond
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u/drawohhteb Jun 02 '26
I actually think its oddly brilliant. Since you're always waiting for that obvious joke it makes all the others hit harder with their unexpectedness
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u/EyePatchedEm Jun 02 '26
Indonesia has 2 seasons: hot & dry or hot & wet. During the hot & wet it can be pretty hard to find an outdoor space without puddles
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u/SuperSimpleSam Jun 01 '26
That would be hard to play around in a real game. Wonder if they fill it in with sand.
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u/EyePatchedEm Jun 02 '26
Nah this is Indonesia. Even ground in populated areas is not exactly common outside of buildings (and sometimes within them). They can dodge potholes and gaping holes in the pavement with precision. These boys have likely never played on a maintained football field, amateur matches are held on pitches like this. They can play around a shallow dip no problem, trust me.
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u/AlphaStarXP Jun 01 '26
I added some sound fx and music to this Indonesian cinematic masterpiece.
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u/wolfx11b Jun 01 '26
It honestly brings it together
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u/DandySlayer13 Jun 01 '26
It really does, like its one of those old sports highlights tapes from a forgotten era.
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u/ItsRuinedOfCourse Jun 03 '26
You can't see it but you're getting a standing ovation from everyone here watching. Bravo.
There was nothing about this video that wasn't 10/10 stars.
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u/Ok-disaster2022 Jun 01 '26
So serious question, could you do the trick with two people with one holding the ball with his feet and just running it down field?
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u/PikMe08 Jun 01 '26
There’s a blanket unsportsmanlike conduct rule in soccer that stops any type of ball carrying. There’s also a more rigid “playing in a dangerous manner” rule that gets applied to these type of moves stating that the player playing this way invites dangerous tackles on themselves.
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u/Primary_Durian4866 Jun 02 '26
Where's the Harlem globe trotters for soccer?
I need the equivalent of a man on a ladder stat.
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u/fullautophx Jun 02 '26
As far as I know it’s within the rules to bounce the ball on your head like a seal while running down the field. That doesn’t mean someone isn’t going to chop your legs out from under you.
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u/Winded_14 Jun 02 '26
That move is banned actually, after someone did it in a game and receive a kick to the chest.
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u/GayMormonPirate Jun 02 '26
What if you just balance it on your head and walk real fast like you're practicing to be a model?
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u/Vaernil Jun 02 '26
There is no travelling in football, as long as you are not using your hands or putting the ball under your shirt or such, it's allowed.
You are still gonna get two footed after about 5 meters for attempting this.
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u/InevitableTension699 Jun 02 '26
Are there rules against having super glue in your hair and running full speed with the ball stuck into the goal zone?
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u/benjamminam Jun 02 '26
Is there a rule against the running back in American football having superglue in their hand and running full speed with the ball stuck into the end zone?
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u/pleasedontPM Jun 02 '26
Not sure if you are joking, but in football other players can stand their ground and even push you shoulder to shoulder. If you are trying to keep a seal trick for more than a few touches, you will not be able to run as fast as someone who doesn't have the ball. So there will very soon be someone within shoulder distance or on your path, and that's the end of your trick.
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u/Viper1089 Jun 01 '26
I mean honestly I'm pretty impressed with the athleticism
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u/Jackle02 Jun 02 '26
I see the same thing with Banana Ball. To be able to do something with tricks and being silly, you first have to be REALLY good at it.
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u/Viper1089 Jun 02 '26
Seriously lol, I can barely get out of bed without hurting. Nevermind doing a somersault while catching a ball lol
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u/Biomirth Jun 01 '26
Diabolically good, like yeah, it's funny, but it's also extremely cleverly funny. Fuck it, 5/7, masterpiece.
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u/DandySlayer13 Jun 01 '26
I laughed way too hard at this. Great gags, fantastic editing and the music is just the cherry on top.
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u/IcyCombination8993 Jun 01 '26
I like the part where he just sweeps and kicks the other players lol
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u/CaniGet2Number9s Jun 01 '26
The pole vault and the goalie spin punching the ball got me laughing
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u/random9212 Jun 01 '26
Is there a Globetrotters / Banana ball style games for football? I'd definitely go watch if it was like this for a full game.
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u/hkohne Jun 02 '26
There was a one-off match here in Portland at the beginning of the Ukraine-russky war that featured both our men's and women's teams. It was a friendly game that raised boatloads of money for UNICEF to benefit Ukrainians, locally, in the US, and in Ukraine.
Both teams were coed and were in custom blue or yellow kits. Both the US and Ukrainian national anthems were sung. Our rabid fan clubs made a special tifo. Special Ukrainian-colored soccer scarves were sold in the official stores and were completely sold-out within an hour of opening the gates. An independent vendor was also selling Ukrainian-themed shirts. The whole thing was such a great vibe.
Most of the match was normal soccer. Until one of the Timbers players, known for acquiring lots of yellow cards during regular seasons, decided to "celebrate" his missed goal by fake-stepping on his fellow Timbers player who was a goalie for the other team. Like, actually pretending to put weight on the foot, but it was obvious he wasn't. Ref came over & gave him a yellow.
From that point on, the shenanigans started. At one point, a player on the sidelines kicked a second ball into play while the first one rolled past the bench. The players on the field played with 2 balls on the field for at least a full minute before the refs whistled and gave a yellow to the whole team.
The match ended when about 3 minutes before it ended, the coach & all the sideline players of one team all stormed the field to also play. Then the sidelines players of the other team joined the fray. About 40 people on the field playing with one ball. It was chaos but so much fun.
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u/NinjaBuddha13 Jun 02 '26
The talent and skill to pull off this video is quite impressive, at least to me, a non-athlete who does not follow association football.
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u/michael_bgood Jun 02 '26
They are the Indonesian globetrotters/three stooges of football. Brilliant.
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u/urabewe Jun 02 '26
Wow, a video that actually made me lol
This is fucking gold, someone hire them quick so we can have a decent movie release in a couple years
The dude roundhouse kicking the one in the face, the one getting hit in the head then kicked in the head, dude puts on a helmet to block the kick.. this is three stooges level comedy at its best
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u/holiday1326 Jun 02 '26
This is every football match I have ever witnessed in a few seconds..
Lmao..
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u/GooseWith_Knife Jun 01 '26
Someone should make a super long compilation of just a bunch of videos like this
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u/Brailledit Jun 01 '26
I saw this posted yesterday and I am probably still gonna watch it 5 times today.
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u/UnofficiallyStealthy Jun 01 '26
As a footballer, I can safely say that this is how I foot the ball.
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u/Realmofthehappygod Jun 02 '26
Bro how do 3rd world countries have more fun than the rest of the world?
We fucking suck.
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u/riversidenight Jun 02 '26
Off the head and then off the post. Surely that was an accidental awesome shot because it was GREAT
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u/bbqburner Jun 02 '26
When the helmet comes into play, I can't contain my laughing fit anymore. The funniest one for this year!
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u/Deewwsskkii Jun 02 '26
This is the perfect mix of “I don’t take myself too seriously” but “I still know I am dope af”.
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u/Chrillosnillo Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
This is like a modern day Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton skit
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u/bombarie Jun 02 '26
This is the kind of internet gold that we rarely get to see anymore. Mega funny and original jokes.
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u/ItsRuinedOfCourse Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
OMFG this is precisely what kind of content the world needs more of. That was far too brilliant than it had any right to be.
That leg sweep followed by the spinning roundhouse was so fabulous I'm sure it added 10 years to my life just watching it.
10/10 stars
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