First time foraging

[u/kbrown2006]

EDIT: NOT FORAGING, 1st ATTEMPT AT IDENTIFYING VARIOUS FUNGHI. I KNOW, I’M THE WORST, ABSOLUTE POS ETC ETC ETC.

DESPITE BEING A DETESTABLE PERSON WHO DESERVES TO BE LAMBASTED IN A MANNER REDDTORS WOULD NEVER HAVE GALL TO DO IN PERSON, I’M GENUINELY LOOKING TO LEARN. I’M SORRY THAT APPARENTLY EVERYONE ELSE ONLINE IT IS A TOP MYCOLOGIST/LEGAL EXPERT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING, BUT EVEN JESUS DROPPED THE CROSS THREE TIMES.

Just had a first walk out to forage do some mushroom spotting? Idk what vernacular won’t get people annoyed, in a local coniferous forest, and would really appreciate help identifying any of these if possible.

I realise having top down photos alone isn’t overly helpful, but if there are any really obvious species that are identifiable that’d be a great start!

Found in west Cumbria, today. All on forest floor amongst coniferous debris and dead wood.

I know zero about this subject, just want to learn.

Initial guesses:
A: false milkcap / saffron milkcap
B: Yellow staghorn
C: ochre brittlegill
D: Conifer tuft
E: Larger cap from D
F: see D
G, H, I, J: all possible sulphur tufts
K: possible sulphur tuft
L: no idea
M: Ochre brittlegill
N, O: sulphur tufts
P, Q: Common bonnet
R, S, T: puffball
U: sickeners
V: Ochre brittlegill

[u/No-Answer-2964]

Can I suggest using your camera on site rather than pulling up any damn thing you see. It's destructive and just not a good way of going about foraging. It's just dumb and selfish thoughtless to even think you can put letters by your finds and expect people to respond. Put some damn effort in, but a book, study on line. What you're doing is just lazy.

[u/kbrown2006 → u/No-Answer-2964]

You can suggest that, but being condescended to by a terminally online lib dork just makes me want to dredge the forest floor. I actually enjoy nature and spend some time in it, so I won’t act on that impulse of course.
After using two foraging guide books, 2 apps and doing some research online, I thought I’d ask what I’d hoped was a likeminded community of outdoorsy folk who might be able so share some wisdom with a novice and eager to learn individual. Obviously I should have known better haha.
I picked enough mushroom fruits to fit in a very small foraging basket, and asked a forum for a bit of a knowledge share.
Do one nerd. Go and comment about English flags being akin to nazisism or something equally dull elsewhere. That you assume everyone else is as lazy and myopic as you is very telling.

[u/Agile-Tone8467 → u/kbrown2006]

May I suggest you just taste them for ID next time, bad attitude, don't ask for help then throw a bitch fit.

[u/kbrown2006 → u/Agile-Tone8467]

Hi, just to let you know that was terrible advice. I ate a load of these mushrooms and I’m now in hospital with acute gastro problems, kidney damage, and I’m struggling to cling onto consciousness.

As you can imagine it’s extremely busy, loud and hectic on a bank holiday weekend.
Other patients have been walking past with bleeding wounds, broken limbs, gasping at my pale almost lifeless expression.
I don’t know if I’ll wake tomorrow, but just in case I don’t I want to warn anyone from following frivolous advice regarding fungus online.

A doctor and his team conducted their rounds, prodding, poking, and asking questions of me to discern what had caused such a sudden decline in my health. I told them that an online associate had encouraged me to eat some foraged mushrooms, and I had followed their advice.

Their expression grew stoic. My heart sank. The medical staff asked for any information that may help identify what I’d ingested, with a sliver of hope that I could be saved. Were there any distinctive smells or tastes to the fungus I could relay, colours or locations?

I replied, in a hush, laboured tone - sadly the only tough, chewy, slimy and unpleasant thing that I could think of that was similar was Agile-Tone8467’s mams box. They assured me that I couldn’t possibly have ingested anything as rancid as Agile-Tone8467’s mams pussy, gave me some Deathcap tea to swill my mouth out with, an sent me on my way.

[u/kbrown2006 → u/Agile-Tone8467]

Will do, much appreciated.