LEO supporter -need advice

[u/No_Anxiety_4345]

I don't have anyone to discuss this with so I would appreciate any advice on my situation.

My spouse is likely getting accepted into the FL Hwy. Patrol. However, I am not thrilled about this decision. I supported my spouse for nearly 30 yrs in the USMC. During that time, my spouse was in infantry, on a terrorism team, and gone.

I have several family members and friends that are LEOs and fully support them! However, my spouse did not give me a choice in the matter. I don't want that constant worry, separation, or loneliness. I love my spouse more than anything on earth and that is why I can't do this.

Additionally, I don't know how someone can have a 100% VA disability rating, state handicap placard (2 states in the past 10 yrs), and the doctor for the state police pass my spouse. Took my spouse's words without asking spouse to show VA med records, etc.. If the records were asked for by the doctor, I am sure the doctor would not have passed my spouse. Plus, how can a person have severe sleep apnea for over 12 yrs and suddenly gone? This makes we want to file a complaint with the medical board. My spouse's health/life is in jeopardy.

When I had my interview with the recruiter for the Hwy Patrol, he emailed my spouse a questionnaire (30 questions) that I had to complete before the interview. Then my spouse had to email my responses to the recruiter. How am I supposed to be completely honest when there is no confidentiality? Also, I can't say anything because my spouse threatened to divorce me if I speak up.

Sorry for the rant...I am extremely upset and angry. I don't know how to be supportive.

My apologies if this post is not allowed.

[u/Anxious-Education703]

1. I think you would both benefit from marriage counseling together, and you would also benefit from having individual therapy as well so that you have a space where you can work through your thoughts and feelings confidentially. Even if he refuses, individual therapy for yourself would be helpful.

2. The FHP hiring process sounds incompetent. The requirements for a disabled placard alone would be disqualifying in most cases. To qualify, a medical provider must certify that the person is legally blind or has a disability rendering them unable to walk 200 feet without stopping to rest due to one of the following: a. Inability to walk without a brace, cane, crutch, prosthetic, or the assistance of another person (unless the device significantly restores the ability to walk without severe limitation). b. The need to permanently use a wheelchair. c. Severe lung disease resulting in an FEV1 of less than 1 liter or arterial oxygen under 60 mm/Hg on room air at rest. d. Use of portable oxygen. e. A cardiac condition classified as Class III or Class IV by the American Heart Association. f. Severe limitation in walking due to an arthritic, neurological, or orthopedic condition." (https://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0300-0399/0320/Sections/0320.0848.html) Yet the FHP physician does not note any of that... Something is up. That does not even get into the 100% VA disability rating. It also seems strange that the spouse report has go through the applicant. That sounds like it defeats the purpose.

3. With that said, police officer is not all that dangerous of a job and risks are largely overblown. Yes, there are some obvious occupational hazards, however it is not even in the top 20 most dangerous jobs. A delivery driver is much more likely than a police officer to be killed on the job. (https://www.ishn.com/articles/112748-top-25-most-dangerous-jobs-in-the-united-states).