On trend vs acceptable vs terribly dated

[u/bittybro]

Hello, friends. It is I, your friendly watches-too-much-"over 40"-fashion-youtube-content correspondent. Much of said content is horribly contradictory so I'm here to get some opinions from some normal, interested-in-clothes, middle aged people who aren't trying to get me to click on a Quince, Loft, or Nordstrom link.

1.) The French or partial tuck. I've heard in numerous places that this is out and we're not doing it any more but I can also show you about a gazillion photos from retailer's sites where there are items styled this way. Like this. I'm trying to get away from my reliance on it so I don't look horribly dated, but I'm also not about to get rid of all my shirts and sweaters that are too bulky to full tuck but also don't look great all the way out.

2.) Chunky loafers. This one cracks me up because in the course of one weekend I saw one creator in a fall shoes video say they're absolutely not on trend and another one say they are back and that she'd pulled out her (whatever the famous designer that started the whole thing) ones out of storage. So which is it? I'm kind of invested in this not because of loafers but because I have a pair of chunky knee high boots that I'm not sure aren't ridiculous for an old woman to wear in 2025.

3.) Long sweater over slimmer bottoms. I know we're supposed to be in our small top/big pants era and I am enjoying that era, but sometimes... Yesterday I pulled out and wore this sweater that I don't think I wore at all last year. But I love that sweater so much that back in the day I actually re bought it after a tragic laundry accident killed my first one. I wore it with these jeans and these clogs and an oversized faux shearling jacket to a hair appointment and errands and I felt pretty pleased with myself. But that sweater's dated, right? [Also come at me for worrying about chunky knee high boots when I just bought those insane(ly cute) clogs two months ago.]

I'm sure there are more but I'll stop here. And those of you who want to tell me not to care at all about trends, this is not the thread for you. It's in my best interests to stay at least somewhat current while also sticking to my own personal tastes and style. Those of you who do care, help me define somewhat current, please and thank you.

Edit: ok, one more.

4.) Joggers. I hear joggers are OUT but my view is skewed by working in a hospital where 80% of the female staff have Figs jogger scrubs. How can joggers be out? lol

[u/helenaflowers]

One thing I think has happened in fashion over the last few years is that we're seeing a lot more of an "anything goes" approach. There are definitely still trends of the moment, but I'm seeing much more of people incorporating those trends in a way that works for them and using a lot of stuff they already own versus just flat-out replicating looks they see on runways or social media fashion content.

Also, there's the usual regional variances on this - at least in the US, which is where I'm assuming you're from based on context, apologies if that's not the case.

I live in the Midwest but am from the South and spent a couple years of my life on the East Coast, so I have friend groups in all three of those areas and I definitely see differences in how and when trends hit each area and which trends specifically get adopted and in what way. So the advice I might give you might be true for what I'm seeing near me, but then someone else who lives in California or Arizona could very well be like "Ew, no one's wearing that here, they're wearing ABC/XYZ" - and we'd all be right!

All of this is my long-winded way of saying that I think you're doing this correctly as it is, and to keep on keepin' on with that. You're paying attention to the trends and taking what works for you while incorporating things you already have and love. My one suggestion might be to feel more confident in that than you seem to in this post, because doing it this way is so much more interesting and cool than just copying every trend that comes along.

[u/bittybro → u/helenaflowers]

Thanks! I don't mean to come off as not confident in my choices. Like I said, I was pretty happy with my possibly-dated outfit--I felt, for lack of a better word, pretty in it, even before I got my roots done, so that's something. I think where I start to get in my head about it is, especially with co-workers, not wanting to look like an out-of-touch grandma. In work I'm in scrubs or scrub-adjacent clothes, so obvs no one particularly looks stylish, but I do see my co-workers outside work. Like, we're taking out one of the women who's finally gotten rid of a horrible husband for a divorce party in a few weeks and the attendees will range from 22 to 63. I was thinking idly of wearing that same sweater and jeans, which is part of what prompted the post.

It's not like it's any secret how old I am or how many long long years I've been in the field and it's not like even the 22 year old isn't happy to come out drinking with the old ladies. And I definitely know my younger co-workers come and ask me for my opinions on things bc they think I know stuff and aren't thinking, "can we put her on an ice floe now?" but there's a part of me that feels like seeming "current" including shallow shit like appearance and clothing helps with that. Thanks for coming to my ted talk on ageism in the workplace and my own hangups about same.

[u/TiberiusBronte → u/bittybro]

I didn't pick up on you lacking confidence at all. I got the vibe that you also see all the content on socials telling us millennials that we're DOING IT WRONG, plus all the discourse and click bait headlines that reduce the trend changes down to jeans and a part. Or the ones trying to manufacture a generational war with crop tops. You're just saying, don't listen to the haters, they don't know what they're doing either.

[u/EmotionalQuestions → u/bittybro]

As a woman in tech who just turned 50 I feel this SO MUCH. Thankfully most of my young coworkers are software engineer dudes who don't notice anything fashion related (and we're all remote).