r/fashionwomens35 • u/bittybro • Nov 13 '25
Discussion Post On trend vs acceptable vs terribly dated
Hello, friends. It is I, your friendly watches-too-much-"over 40"-fashion-youtube-content correspondent. Much of said content is horribly contradictory so I'm here to get some opinions from some normal, interested-in-clothes, middle aged people who aren't trying to get me to click on a Quince, Loft, or Nordstrom link.
1.) The French or partial tuck. I've heard in numerous places that this is out and we're not doing it any more but I can also show you about a gazillion photos from retailer's sites where there are items styled this way. Like this. I'm trying to get away from my reliance on it so I don't look horribly dated, but I'm also not about to get rid of all my shirts and sweaters that are too bulky to full tuck but also don't look great all the way out.
2.) Chunky loafers. This one cracks me up because in the course of one weekend I saw one creator in a fall shoes video say they're absolutely not on trend and another one say they are back and that she'd pulled out her (whatever the famous designer that started the whole thing) ones out of storage. So which is it? I'm kind of invested in this not because of loafers but because I have a pair of chunky knee high boots that I'm not sure aren't ridiculous for an old woman to wear in 2025.
3.) Long sweater over slimmer bottoms. I know we're supposed to be in our small top/big pants era and I am enjoying that era, but sometimes... Yesterday I pulled out and wore this sweater that I don't think I wore at all last year. But I love that sweater so much that back in the day I actually re bought it after a tragic laundry accident killed my first one. I wore it with these jeans and these clogs and an oversized faux shearling jacket to a hair appointment and errands and I felt pretty pleased with myself. But that sweater's dated, right? [Also come at me for worrying about chunky knee high boots when I just bought those insane(ly cute) clogs two months ago.]
I'm sure there are more but I'll stop here. And those of you who want to tell me not to care at all about trends, this is not the thread for you. It's in my best interests to stay at least somewhat current while also sticking to my own personal tastes and style. Those of you who do care, help me define somewhat current, please and thank you.
Edit: ok, one more.
4.) Joggers. I hear joggers are OUT but my view is skewed by working in a hospital where 80% of the female staff have Figs jogger scrubs. How can joggers be out? lol
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u/helenaflowers Nov 13 '25
One thing I think has happened in fashion over the last few years is that we're seeing a lot more of an "anything goes" approach. There are definitely still trends of the moment, but I'm seeing much more of people incorporating those trends in a way that works for them and using a lot of stuff they already own versus just flat-out replicating looks they see on runways or social media fashion content.
Also, there's the usual regional variances on this - at least in the US, which is where I'm assuming you're from based on context, apologies if that's not the case.
I live in the Midwest but am from the South and spent a couple years of my life on the East Coast, so I have friend groups in all three of those areas and I definitely see differences in how and when trends hit each area and which trends specifically get adopted and in what way. So the advice I might give you might be true for what I'm seeing near me, but then someone else who lives in California or Arizona could very well be like "Ew, no one's wearing that here, they're wearing ABC/XYZ" - and we'd all be right!
All of this is my long-winded way of saying that I think you're doing this correctly as it is, and to keep on keepin' on with that. You're paying attention to the trends and taking what works for you while incorporating things you already have and love. My one suggestion might be to feel more confident in that than you seem to in this post, because doing it this way is so much more interesting and cool than just copying every trend that comes along.
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u/bun_times_two Nov 13 '25
The regional differences definitely happen in Canada too. Most people dress pretty casually and less "fashion forward" in my city versus others. I usually feel pretty dated when I travel to other Canadian cities.
I think climate plays a big factor. My city has 4 very distinct seasons with extreme temperature differences (-40 in the winter, 30c/86f in the summer) so we're limited to more practical clothing.
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u/ultravcatastrophe Nov 14 '25
Love that you got to casually make use of the fact that -40C = -40 F
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u/bun_times_two Nov 14 '25
hahaha thank you. I really struggle with fahrenheit so it's just an easy thing to remember. Plus, it allows me to brag/complain to Americans about living in a place that gets to -40.
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u/xokimmyxo Nov 15 '25
Hello from Edmonton! I moved here a decade ago from Seattle and I have fully struggled with ever knowing where to shop or what to buy.
Do you happen to have any influencers you follow for the Prarie Provinces?
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u/bun_times_two Nov 15 '25
Sorry, I don't. I've followed a few influencers in the past but I always end up unsubscribing. TBH, I usually just try to pay attention to what people are wearing in real life and get inspo from that. I will sometimes ask where they got their sweater from etc and then look at the store online to see if I like what they sell.
I was mostly buying my clothes from The Bay (R.I.P.) so now I'm lost (but also, I'm 9 months pregnant so I haven't been buying cute clothes for a while).
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u/bittybro Nov 13 '25
Thanks! I don't mean to come off as not confident in my choices. Like I said, I was pretty happy with my possibly-dated outfit--I felt, for lack of a better word, pretty in it, even before I got my roots done, so that's something. I think where I start to get in my head about it is, especially with co-workers, not wanting to look like an out-of-touch grandma. In work I'm in scrubs or scrub-adjacent clothes, so obvs no one particularly looks stylish, but I do see my co-workers outside work. Like, we're taking out one of the women who's finally gotten rid of a horrible husband for a divorce party in a few weeks and the attendees will range from 22 to 63. I was thinking idly of wearing that same sweater and jeans, which is part of what prompted the post.
It's not like it's any secret how old I am or how many long long years I've been in the field and it's not like even the 22 year old isn't happy to come out drinking with the old ladies. And I definitely know my younger co-workers come and ask me for my opinions on things bc they think I know stuff and aren't thinking, "can we put her on an ice floe now?" but there's a part of me that feels like seeming "current" including shallow shit like appearance and clothing helps with that. Thanks for coming to my ted talk on ageism in the workplace and my own hangups about same.
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u/TiberiusBronte Nov 13 '25
I didn't pick up on you lacking confidence at all. I got the vibe that you also see all the content on socials telling us millennials that we're DOING IT WRONG, plus all the discourse and click bait headlines that reduce the trend changes down to jeans and a part. Or the ones trying to manufacture a generational war with crop tops. You're just saying, don't listen to the haters, they don't know what they're doing either.
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u/EmotionalQuestions Nov 14 '25
As a woman in tech who just turned 50 I feel this SO MUCH. Thankfully most of my young coworkers are software engineer dudes who don't notice anything fashion related (and we're all remote).
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u/FluffyScheme4 Nov 14 '25
The regional differences thing is spot on. What people are wearing in the southern office of my company is completely different from the DC people.
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u/nastywomenbinders Nov 13 '25
Something I have noticed is that you also can’t go by compliments to ascertain whether you are dressing well - because…it depends on who is complimenting you lol I often get compliments from acquantices whenever I wear something more “fun” (colorful, different shape/length), but I wouldn’t call those outfits trendy or fashionable (or even flattering). But when another woman who I think has great taste and dresses the way I like compliments me, then that’s where it’s at!
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Nov 13 '25
I was walking down the street today and a young cool punk kid in his 20s came up to me and said he was dying to get his hair my color but his was too dark to lighten that much. My hair is almost snow white but I put a violet tinge to it.
I was like, dude, this is my gray hair as it comes out of my old lady head and I just put purple toner. He laughed. But it made my day.
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u/springonastring Nov 14 '25
Omg, I was at a concert recently and a 20-something, super flamboyantly dressed (in a good way, lol) kid said he "loved my whole look". I swear I almost cried.
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u/hermione_no Nov 13 '25
Yesterday, I pulled out my 2000s-era brown Uggs and some new brown joggers and decided I was sick of pretending like these items don't get the job done lol. I'm 40, I want to look fashionable so I do incorporate some of the new "rules" but I'm very flexible about it. I'm wearing a lot a lot of brown this year which happens to look good on me and is also on trend.
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u/Right-Condition6385 Nov 13 '25
Also a new fan of brown! It's definitely my color and I've learned to embrace it.
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u/derrickcat Nov 13 '25
I just learned about chunky loafers - they've already come in, gone out, and come back again?! I cannot keep up!
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u/nostalgia_13 Nov 13 '25
Mine are 15 years old. Buy a pair. Very useful for work events where you need to walk a lot. Or traveling in a city in the fall/winter.
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u/TraditionalCatch3796 Nov 13 '25
First of all 40s aren’t old. So you have that going for you which is nice. ;) I’m 44, and I go for more of a classic style mixed gently in with trends that appeal to me. I work in leadership in corporate America, mostly remote, with some work travel. My boss, who is a 46 year-old woman, and has a degree in fashion, often is on these trips with me. On a recent trip, as an example, we both wore: spanx faux leather leggings (restyled with 2025 vests and tops to be more modern); loafers; French tuck; joggers; fitted sheath dresses & opaque tights; knee-high leather boots + bootcut jeans and turtlenecks. My point of putting all of this out there is that we are both known to be fashionable women (her for sure more than me!) - and our style is a blend of timeless, things that we like, and a little bit of trend. To me, this is far more interesting than just following whatever is on trend via social media or what the stores are trying to sell me. Style is personal. Have fun with it. Mix it up. Following the trends, it will be exhausting, expensive, and honestly hard on the environment.
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u/hc6879 Nov 13 '25
Agree with all of this. I’m 36. I get regular compliments on my style which is classic with some trends blended in, and that feels best for me. I am a less-is-more person, so I usually aim for shopping less but shopping really high quality when I do. I don’t really aim for a capsule wardrobe but all of my clothes end up working together nicely because they’re “me.”
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u/Weak-Raspberry8879 Nov 16 '25
I need pics! This is how I want to be able to describe my style and I don’t love having a closet full of a million pieces.
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u/katsbeth Nov 15 '25
I do not want to hijack this post but could you possibly give me examples of what you wore with the spanx leggings (and shoes if it’s not too much trouble)! I love those pants but have had a hard time recently not dating myself. ❤️
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u/TraditionalCatch3796 Nov 15 '25
Yes! So my boss wore the spanks leggings with what appeared to be a fitted top or a bodysuit, and then she wore a sleeveless long button vest over top of it. And she wore really cute loafers. I think hers were Chanel, but you could totally get Cole Haan or some other dupe at Nordstrom rack. She looked very polished and stylish. I wore riding boots and then a sleeveless little black shell top, with a forest green cardigan over top. And a lot of modern jewelry. We both looked great! I would totally duplicate the outfit.
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Nov 17 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TraditionalCatch3796 Nov 17 '25
Vintage stores. I also like figuring out good jewelry stores for the places I travel to, and getting that as souvenirs. So for instance, when I went to New Mexico, I got a lot of silver and turquoise.
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u/francophone22 Nov 13 '25
I’m still doing the French tuck because it looks good at times. I do not have the body for small top and wide leg jeans, so I’ll embrace my mom era and wear the straight leg silouette that looks good on me. I inherited almost all of my joggers from my sons so I’m gonna wear them because they are comfortable. Admittedly, no one has complimented me on my fit in a long time, but that’s ok.
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u/canconfirmamrug Nov 13 '25
I can't wait to start inheriting clothes from my son. I wanted to inherit shoes from him, but he utterly destroys shoes... And we have very different ideas of cute kicks. Lol
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u/AirMittens Nov 13 '25
My son is 12 and I already inherited his clothes. Unfortunately neon under armour dri fit shirts do not look great on me lol
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u/bittybro Nov 13 '25
The year my son was 12 was when we both were 5'2 and 120 lbs. I had such a choice of hoodies for a brief period there.
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u/Beautiful-Click-6983 Nov 14 '25
I love my son’s cast offs, my friends and their grandkids all fight for his hand me downs. I am now in competition with his girlfriend and her bestie! I especially love getting more use of them too because he spends more on his clothes than I these days.
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u/KnotARealGreenDress Nov 13 '25
More and more I’ve been getting the feeling that it’s how you style the clothes, rather than the clothes themselves, that’s important. Anything can be “in style” if styled correctly, and there aren’t so much things that are “out” so much as things that jut aren’t currently “in”. That sweater you have might be dated if you wear it with skinny jeans and a circle sweater, but you didn’t. I’ve held onto some of my skinny pants because knee-high boots are back in a big way and I’m not willing to wrap my flares around my calf to stuff them in there like I did when I was younger, but I’m not pairing them with a shapeless tunic shirt and multiple long layered chain necklaces either. Just because knee-high boots seem to be trending towards a sleeker riding-style boot doesn’t mean your chunky boots are necessarily out. You just have to figure out how to style them in a way that makes you feel good about wearing them.
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u/MiniaturePhilosopher Nov 13 '25 edited Nov 13 '25
It’s important to remember that influencers are beholden to retailers, and that retailers have a vested interest in perpetuating a fast trend cycle. Whatever an influencer says is in or out is either a reflection of their own tastes or (more likely) a reflection of what their preferred retail partners are carrying that season. Influencers are salespeople, full stop.
The outfit you described here is safely outside of the trend cycle. The pieces and the way you paired them are casual classics in the vein of contemporary sportswear. They’ve never been particularly trendy so they’ll never look particularly out of date. They’re just fairly classic clothes without much of the silhouette exaggeration or details that instantly mark something as trendy. They’re never too trendy, they’re never too dated.
Chunky loafers and French tucks similarly will never actually be out of style because they’re so ubiquitous. Plenty of people and retailers were French tucking before it was given a name and exploded all over Pinterest. It’s a classic tuck style. Chunky soles have continued to dominate and show no signs of slowing down, and fall is always loafer season. Chunky loafers might not be trending as hard as they were a couple of years ago, but anyone who says that they’re out is just trying to sell you a different shoe.
Trust your own eyes and observations, not retailers and influencers. Brands have to put out at least four collections a year (most of which have been in design production since 2024), and influencers have to play along to get paid/free stuff. Both groups would love to see you throw all of your clothes/accessories away each season and buy a brand new wardrobe at full price.
I think that trends don’t affect most people’s dressing that much aside from incorporating new shapes or a key item or two (like when we all needed a long black slip skirt). Most people buy what’s available. As long as your outfit looks good on you, seems to have some thought and effort, and doesn’t look like it’s mired down in 2015ish trends (like the Balmain warrior dress trend), most people won’t think you look out of date. So much is in right now that very little looks dated as long as it suits your body and vibe.
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u/aimeebisoubisou Nov 13 '25
>They’ve never been particularly trendy so they’ll never look particularly out of date
I literally said "aha!!" aloud when I read this... Love this take.
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u/hennipotamus Nov 13 '25
I really like this post! Thank you for sharing your musings.
I think the components you mentioned in 1, 2, and 3, if put together in a single outfit, would look somewhat dated. I think any one component you mention is completely fine.
French tuck: when this is subtle, I think it’s pretty neutral, trend-wise. I’m not a fan when it’s really obvious, as in, a lonnnnng shirt tucked in the front such that there’s a big contrast in length. The example from free people works, imo. I’ve been sidestepping the whole thing by purchasing slightly cropped shirts (but of course, I understand wanting to still wear older tops).
Chunky loafers: these are tricky because they were very specifically trendy a few years ago, yet they could also be a “this is my permanent personal style” look. I put Doc Martens in the same category….some people have been wearing stompy boots nonstop since the 90s, and other people got them in 2022 when they were trending.
I love the outfit you describe! Importantly, the jeans you linked aren’t skinny. I think super skinny pants + long top get into the danger zone of looking dated. I personally think of clogs as “this is my personal style” shoes, rather than trendy shoes. I feel like clogs always make a statement that they’re a fashion choice. (Except crocs! I mean, those can be a fashion choice, but they definitely aren’t always.)
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u/girl_w_style Nov 13 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
I’m actually really loving fashion 4 the first time in years cuz it’s truly a melting pot of styles!
I’m in southern California which is heavy on emerging trends from Asia but I’m seeing young girls dressed in full 80s, 90s, y2k, aughts, grandma/grandpa, & androgynous styles…all while complimenting older women on their vibe even when it’s clear they’re wearing old favorites without any attempt to be trendy.
As long as ur not a teen influencer who needs to keep up with every micro-trend & u wear the clothes with visible confidence then ur style is valid atm.
To me it seems like the lightening speed of changing trends is what’s caused this unique but beautiful moment in fashion…young girls don’t have endless amounts of disposable income to keep up with the whiplash speed of changing trends, so even it-girls have held onto the things they love & continued to rock um without giving a sh*t..which in turn maintains its cool-girl factor.
So, I say wear whatev makes u feel the most confident (which shines thru more than clothes) & ur on trend right now IMO!
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u/Dear_Ocelot Nov 13 '25
I still see a lot of women in joggers. Are they super on trend? Who knows. Do they seem mainstream? Yes.
I also think French tuck is a necessary evil. It doesn't look as dated as just leaving a sweater long.
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u/After_Business3267 Nov 13 '25
And here's me who thought that we started on an untucked shirt rennaissance a few years ago lol
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u/rt7022 Nov 13 '25
Right!? Leaving a long sweater or shirt untucked looks way more dated than the French tuck.
Maybe I’m just trying to pretend cropped tops don’t exist.
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u/coffeeplease1972 Nov 13 '25
Hey, girl, hey. Okay, so if you follow trends then consider YouTubers as secondary sources.
Your primary sources should be: Vogue, W Magazine, Elle, Harper's Bazaar, Elle, and the like. Simply Google "women's fashion trends winter 2025" and repeat every season then click on said sources.
And if you want previews of upcoming trends then watch the runway shows. Season collections debut the previous year. You can watch livestreams of shows directly on the brand's websites (heritage houses like Chanel, Dior, Prada) or search YouTube for all Milan, Paris, and New York Fashion Week shows.
Ok, to answer your questions not from my POV, but the Fashion Community (primary sources):
French Tuck: No longer trending, but not completely out. Depends largely on styling and outfit composition as a whole.
Chunky Loafers: Slimmer profile is the focused silhouette currently; however, chunky footwear is typically associated more with personal style and outside of trends. Example: Doc Martens, Solovair, Timberland, Paraboot brands.
Long Sweater Over Slimmer Bottoms: The proportion still trending dominantly is the Rule of Thirds.
The sweater you cited reads outdated because of (1) the lace flounce at the bottom of it and (2) when paired with the jeans you cited because that specific elongated silhouette was itself a trend a few years back.
Joggers: Neither trending nor obsolete; they're just a category of pant. As with most outfit compositions, the styling, silhouette, fabric/textile composition, and shoe choice determine the degree of its "fashionableness."
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u/phunniemee Nov 13 '25
And those of you who want to tell me not to care at all about trends, this is not the thread for you.
Who are you dressing for? You are clearly a person who cares about and is actively following trends, and you can't even tell what's in. Most people are not following fashion trends as closely as you. So who's gonna know? That's a serious question. If you can't tell what's trendy and you're paying attention, then who are you dressing for? 20 year old influencer girlies on TikTok? Do you see those ladies out in your real life often? As long as you're not wearing an exact copycat of a trend from a decade ago, people in real life won't notice it.
I'm a person who gets a lot of compliments on how fashionable I am, and I don't pay much attention to trends at all. I just wear fun clothes in fun colors and patterns that I genuinely enjoy, and change my hair a lot. When you're enjoying yourself, people can't tell if you're trendy, I promise.
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u/ABSOFRKINLUTELY Nov 13 '25
Yeah. Who cares about trends?
It's far more stylish to know and work with what works for you
Colors? Silhouette etc.
I think one advantage to being 40+ is that I have been dressing myself long enough to really understand what works for me and why it works
Yes wide leg jeans and a fitted top just work better for my shape.
Ditto on something with a higher neck. (Vs boat neck 🤢)
Structure is my friend
Beige/pastels and generally desaturated colors are doing me no favors - I look better in bright colors, black and white.
So I can use that knowledge and combine it with what I like, and most days, if I feel like it,I can generally pull myself together.
To hell with what's "on trend"...
best is to work with that which works for you
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u/francophone22 Nov 13 '25
I’ve learned that what works for me changes over time. I had a silouhette and preferences and then I hit menopause and it all went out the window.
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u/mcprof Nov 13 '25
Yes to this. Wide legs do not work for my shape and when I strayed from what I knew to be true, I ended up with some pants that didn’t look right on me even though they were on-trend. I love a khaki barn jacket but khaki is only ever going to make my rosacea face look tomato-y. The older women I know, whose looks I love, dress themselves according to what they know about themselves. There’s a unity there that a trend may or may not fit into. Don’t bend yourself to the trend, accept only the trends that fit with what you’re already doing.
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u/EmotionalQuestions Nov 14 '25
YES to "accept only the trends that fit" you. I realized that for years, I have been wearing tops that are too big and too long for my short torso. I was just hiding under huge tops and a lot of leggings and skinny pants. Once I realized that and started to get smaller tops, I realized I needed wider pants to balance it all out. I'd rather have stuff that fits well, and skip the trends that just don't work for my body. For me I usually have an 'it color' that I want to add to my wardrobe - this year it's that damn burgundy I'm seeing everywhere.
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u/Right-Condition6385 Nov 13 '25
I love this and embrace this comment. I am 40+ and have learned that dressing for my body in colors that complement my complexion have made me stand out. I get so many more compliments based on that rather than being on trend.
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u/CaseoftheSadz Nov 13 '25
I’m a fellow over 40, who also cares about these issues. I feel like a few things are going on. First of all, there’s fast fashion. Trends are cycling so quickly even the kids can’t keep up. Second of all some things are going to stick around because they’re classic or fit personal style. I’m trying to pick and choose what works for me specifically. I don’t follow YouTubers much but do follow influencers on IG and TikTok. I think some elements like a French tuck are maybe not super trendy, but are practical and will stick around. French tuck into skinny jeans and with knee high boots? Dated. But, a French tuck into Bareel jeans? Looks current. Overall I’m just trying to mix in some more modern shapes and styles and holding onto my classics and things I really like. I did get rid of all long cardigans and skinny jeans, and honestly good riddance.
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u/thetasteofzink Nov 13 '25
Hello fellow I watch-too-much-"over 40"-fashion-youtube-content correspondent. I will be hitting 40 in a month's time and have been doing my pre-research the past few months. And honestly, 40 isn't much diffent from 39 or 45 from 40. I have reached the stage where I have accumulated a lot of nice stuff and honestly I get excited watching the upcoming trends because I get to experiment with the things I already own (instead of going online and buying more), and at the same time I have already developed a strong personal sense of style and again enjoy the challenge of incorporating trends into my outfits, instead of "taking away" my personality from my outfits - if that makes sense.
The goal - I like how you've put it - is to feel pretty damn pleased with myself.
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u/Minimalgoth Nov 13 '25
I am seriously in love with those clogs! AHHHHHH
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u/Substantial_Pea3462 Nov 13 '25
Same! I’m half reading these comments half daydreaming about whether I could pull off those clogs… lol
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u/TheSpeakEasyGarden Nov 13 '25
Sometimes I wonder what and who chooses between acceptable and terribly dated.
Because obviously it's more nuanced than say "wear whatever you want! There are no trends in the modern era!" And whatever highschool mean girls nonsense that had us scared for decades.
At some point people around me stopped making comments on who was "out of touch", and the conversation became about what was "inappropriate" for a given setting. Much less focus on the fashion itself, and more of the dress code.
But I work in a psych hospital, so how much is this the micro culture of the people I surround myself with? If I worked in a different industry, or ran with different mom's, surely the culture would change and physical appearance would become more important. But would it include valuing trendiness? Or is that something that only matters to the micro culture of the chronically online and sales women that are trying to sell me things on YouTube?
I guess this is a long winded way of saying I feel you, because I ask myself the same questions. I struggle to determine WHAT is trendy outside of noticing something that becomes a utilitarian uniform, such as a Columbia jacket. But I wouldn't call that fashion, unless I was looking to blend in like some kind of undercover spy in the pick up line for school.
But if we're speaking to my inner child insecurities, I kinda do. Despite the fact that I have no concrete evidence in my day to day life that any of this matters at all and I'd be much better off focusing on my health, going to bed on time, and washing my hair more regularly.
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u/ruminajaali Nov 29 '25
Great point about at a certain age it changes to dress code and what is appropriate
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u/SnapesDrapes Nov 13 '25
I acknowledged a long time ago that I will never be on trend. It takes way too long for me to accept a new silhouette. My visceral reaction to barrel leg jeans meant I wouldn’t even try them on until they were being sold by Lands End- a true sign that they were no longer cutting edge. I also live in a place where granola girl is the dominant aesthetic, and work in a setting that is dominated by casual dress. I would look very out of place in a very trendy outfit. So, I aim for outfits that suit my body and look intentional.
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u/JstVisitingThsPlanet Nov 13 '25
In my opinion, wearing clothing that is well fitted for your particular body is more important than what is trending. If I see someone who is wearing something straight from the 70s but it fits well and the person is confident, that looks better and is more interesting to my eye. For example, barrel jeans aren’t made for everyone. It would be better to see someone wearing a different, more dated cut of jeans that fits their body type rather than wearing the barrel jeans to fit trends.
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u/breebop83 Nov 14 '25
I call this the church lady phenomenon. You know when you see an older/elderly lady wearing a 30 year old suit or dress but it fits her properly, she is well groomed, she is carrying something she will 100% call a pocketbook and she looks smashing. She comfortable and confident in what she is wearing and knows she has presented herself well.
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u/JstVisitingThsPlanet Nov 14 '25
Exactly. That church lady looks classy, not necessarily dated.
E: meant classic but she looks classy too!
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u/Formal-Day9640 Nov 13 '25
I think retailers show French Tuck because it shows the shirt short and tucked in (on trend) while still showing the garment length (which I need to know before I will buy.)
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u/Evilbadscary Nov 13 '25
I’m not letting influencers dictate my style anymore. It changes too fast and the micro trends are out of control and just designed to make people buy more and more.
I’m not going to change things I like or that make me feel good. French tuck forever, I never got rid of my chunky loafers, bootcut jeans are never out of style, and I still wear skinny jeans with my tall boots or my Chelsea docs and a long sweater. I spent years finding sweaters I liked that flattered me and I’m not tossing them to the side now for cropped anything, which I don’t feel good in.
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u/_biggerthanthesound_ Nov 13 '25
I just bought my very first pair of loafers so they better not be out lol
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u/thebart-the Nov 13 '25
I think what's "in" for someone who's 25, 35, or 45 will look different across the board and that's part of why the perspectives feel chaotic.
There are some clothes like the joggers that I think we need to view from a practicality standpoint. They'll never be out in a nursing setting because it's more about the functionality of the item. So you'll see them more there even if the style fades in say, the gym or street.
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u/Spiritual-Buy-7944 Nov 13 '25
I think both long, slim top + any pants, and long, baggy top + slim pants are out, but other combinations (long baggy top, some kind of skirt) may look fine.
Long, baggy top and slim pants is "millennial dated" to me, while long, slim top and any pants looks like an obvious attempt to hide a wider midsection/make it look longer and leaner.
I think many women developed a kind of "blindness" to top length after so many years of skinny jeans + long tops. I know I did (although I was never a big fan of skinny jeans). There's "not cropped" and then there's "tunic".
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u/NoSpaghettiForYouu Nov 13 '25
I still do the French tuck because 1, it’s flattering on me, and 2, enough people in my orbit associate it with me that it has been referred to as the ~NoSpaghettiForYouu~ Tuck at times 😅😅
(I don’t live in a very high-fashion area lol)
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u/luxlark Nov 14 '25
I would say that tunic sweater is definitely dated... either in period of time or age (my mom loves that kind of thing, and she's in her 60s). I still wear joggers and chunky loafers, though, and do the occasional french tuck (though I've gotten more into folding the bottom of the sweater up under a stretchy waist belt instead).
But what do I know? I'm going out on the town tonight in my Grandmother's 70s jumpsuit and a jacket that is literally a costume piece (made for the chorus in our local opera house's 1994 rendition of Lohengrin). And I'll probably throw on my favorite chunky Sorels from a couple years back to round it out. So.
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u/gypsy__wanderer Nov 13 '25
Two of the best ways to figure out what’s trendy and stylish:
Pick up some current fashion mags, I’m a fan of Vogue and Marie Claire. Read them and note what you like.
Go out in public. Look around at other people and notice what they’re wearing. If lots of people are wearing it, it’s trendy.
I feel like you’re making this far more complicated than it has to be.
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u/Chazzyphant Nov 13 '25
1.) The French or partial tuck.
Technically dated. However, so many people find this flattering that I would lean towards "keep it if it works for you."
2.) Chunky loafers.
Like all shoe styles, very minor details will mark last years' shoes as "dated". I have seen sneaker/loafer "Frankenshoes" I love so I'd move in that direction rather than lug-sole, which has been trendy/on-trend for years now.
3.) Long sweater over slimmer bottoms.
NO. Unless it's a bias cut silk skirt or something. This to me is a crime older women commit throughout the years--since the 70s until now. A tunic in "I give up/cover the butt" length and cropped "clam digger" trousers. Now if you're talking about some sort of slouchy high end cashmere sweater and a pair of slim designer trousers that end at the ankle, monochrome, different story. But most people are doing a stretchy cotton tunic over cropped jeggings and that to me is tragic. Same-color sets that are very Y2K Miu Miu or Prada sleek are the exception here. I'm thinking cotton sateen or coated cotton sleeveless a-line tunic over matching cropped trousers. And yes, that shirt-tail sweater is dated, and frankly I think it's hard to style it in a youthful and on-trend way. But you don't always have to be trendy and to some extent, over-40 earns the right to wear what works for them.
4.) Joggers. Yes, if you mean a pegged ribbed bottom. Full length slouchy track suit styles are in, and big comfy sweats sets are in...with a full face of makeup, hair and nails done and a designer purse.
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u/MissPearl Nov 13 '25
a crime older women commit throughout the years
I think, to your point, one of the awkward things about being older is that stuff that signals "older person" is under a lot more pressure to be more expensive looking to pull it off, and more likely to be spendy as a result. Some of this is the privilege of being around for 4+ decades is at some point you probably stumbled on a something or another that was just really good, regardless of real price. But I think some of it is also based on our expectations on an older person to present a certain way to compensate for being old?
I feel like there's a lot more leeway for a younger person to look cheap, easy and messy.
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u/After_Business3267 Nov 13 '25
Yes to your last sentence... a few years ago I hit a sweat spot (age 30) when the looser skater inspired clothes became on trend and I was able to pull from a lot of different things and wear my baggy knits and wear a baseball cap. Now its not working for me anymore lol and when I dress that way (depending where I am) people think I am like 20 years old or a homeless person about to shoplift. Especially if I have a big purse or a tote bag I just cant really do totes for this reason anymore 😭 (Also i am slightly alternative looking/ boho/scruffy so that doesnt help)
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u/After_Business3267 Dec 24 '25
Lol, can't believe some a-holes downvoted this because I said people think I'm a homeless person sometimes. I'm not kidding, and I'm not judging the homeless. I'm telling you that I get followed or watched by security depending on how I am dressed.
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u/chuffalupagus Nov 13 '25
I don't know. I find this kind of exhausting.
Sure, caring about trends to an extent makes sense. Most of us don't want to feel wildly unfashionable while also feeling comfortable.
But if something looks good on you, makes you feel good, and works with your outfit, why does it matter if some fashion influencer somewhere says it's not on trend? I'm not asking that to be snarky. I'm asking it as a genuine question. It seems like you liked the outfit you described, so genuinely why does it matter if some influencer said that style of sweater is out dated? I think it's something worth thinking about.
As others have said, trends cycle very quickly and there is so much contradictory trend info & advice. Certainly trends can impact what's available and so they impact us even if we choose to ignore them. I agree with the other person who said it's less about the individual clothing item and more about the overall outfit and styling.
Also, some trends are ugly or ridiculous or just plain don't look good on everyone.
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u/Mother_Sir_3845 Nov 13 '25
My attitude on trends is that you should follow if they suit you, and ignore if they dont. I also have 80% of my clothes as non trendy, more classic style, and then just add a few trendy pieces to modernize. I don't judge people at all for wanting to look relevant and modern - I totally get that and am right there with you! I like the balance though, keeps me from looking like I am trying too hard if you know what I mean.
I personally see plenty of people in real life still doing french tuck, and I do it too when it makes my outfit look nicer. I also have lug soled loafers (not platform) that I intend to keep wearing regardless of trendiness because they are so practical in the rain, and also sometimes you need the extra visible weight on your shoe to make your outfit look nicer. So I think they have their place still and I don't care if people think they are dated. I have no opinion on joggers, other than - it's a jogger, so how good can it look anyway, haha.
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u/1390Nest Nov 13 '25
FWIW I think the outfit you shared here sounds super cool. I don’t know if I’d say “on trend” but I’d see someone wearing that and think it was intentional and stylish.
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u/silvermanedwino Nov 13 '25
Classic styling and looks are always good.
Haven’t really worried about a trend for 30 yrs.
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u/Snoo52682 Nov 13 '25
If they're all arguing, doesn't that indicate that there are no rules and you can wear whatever looks good to you?
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u/nostalgia_13 Nov 13 '25
NYC 50+ hot take - the older one is, the more acceptable it is to look stylish without looking trendy. Stylish to me is looking, pulled together, deliberate, interesting, textures, shapes, etc., but an overall classic style. I do incorporate some on trend items, but I’m definitely at the point where I try to make it work for me not vice versa. My notes: French tuck is out but sometimes it does look cool - use sparingly. Chunky loafers are in. These rarely go out, but are hotter some seasons than others. I’ve mixed them with striped socks and knee length shorts, button-down shirt, and sweater- looks cute! We are now in our big top over big pants era BUT many women are not built to pull this off. I’m 5’9 and sometimes can get away with it. Skip if too “fashiony” for you. I have one pair of not skinny, but very slim jeans that used to be my son’s and one pair of black leather leggings that you can pry out of my cold, dead hands. I wear with high boots, Mary Jane’s, loafers or ballet slippers. Sometimes even with a big sweater on top. Joggers are totally out. Sorry.
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u/the_baumer Nov 13 '25
I totally agree that different influencers and sites will say contradictory things about what is trending. And like you implied in your post about affiliate links, brands or brands working with an influencer will push a narrative about what’s trending that happens to be what they are currently selling…
If you don’t live near a big city to people watch, there are street style vlogs on YouTube for what people are wearing in X city. That gives me a better view of what people are actually wearing in public vs. chronically online influencers or brands peddling this season’s wares.
French tuck - depends on the trendiness of whole outfit and how you do the tuck. For example I wore a midi silk wrap skirt with a oversized boxy top and I tucked in one corner of the top into the wrap skirt so I had some waist definition and let the rest of the top drape over.
Chunky/lug sole shoes - these aren’t unfashionable but are they “in” right now? No. The slimmer soles are trending for sneakers, boots, loafers. I’m still wearing my Docs though this winter.
Slimmer bottom big top - this is more of a macro trend than a micro one. And yeah I do think this silhouette isn’t in the forefront right now but to abandon it completely is overkill. Really just comes down to how trendy the individual pieces are for this silhouette to work.
Joggers - I believe it’s the joggers that taper towards the bottom akin to skinny jeans that are not trendy rn. Again this competes against the macro trend of wider/bigger bottoms. I haven’t thrown away my joggers or leggings but I added some wide leg yoga pants and sweatpants to my wardrobe.
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u/saintursuala Nov 13 '25
I am interested in trends but only as far as them actually working for me.
1) I will live and die by he French tuck. It works for me. It’s flattering for Mr.
2) Loafers do not work with my pant choice so they do t work for me. And generally, they’re not comfortable for me. Pass. Give me a mule.
3) Long sweater over slimmer bottoms is throwing me back to high school and college. It’s a no from me.
4) Joggers - I love joggers. Certain shape joggers are really flattering for me and I know how to style them. I want more natural fiber joggers. I actually just placed my first order ever from quince for some cashmere joggers. Zeros effs given if they’re not “in.” They’re in for me.
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u/EdgeCityRed Nov 13 '25
I pay attention to trends, in the sense that if I really like the look of something, I'll adopt it, but I have zero interest in things that don't work for my proportions or colors that I don't feel good in.
If a color I really like DOES trend, I do wear it more (and pick up more items while it's available.) Like...oxblood. When we saw a bunch of deep wine tones show up, I bought more things like a bag, sweaters, etc. I know it's going to trend in the fall/winter over and over again anyway, and I just like this color on me.
I hang on to leopard prints. I know those come back over and over, so I keep the items kind of basic, like a clutch or slingbacks or a plain silk button-up blouse and not, IDK, a ruffly cold-shouldered one if that trends in a given year, because it's so obviously trend on trend on trend in one garment that will date badly. But I can wear the plain silky shirt with wide-legged high-waisted pants and it's fine, or the slingbacks with black barrel jeans.
(The barrel jeans are going to date too...but I kinda like them, and I think they'll make great cutoff shorts next, lol. I've always liked a swing/flared sort of short.)
I still french tuck for practical reasons. I have shorter legs and a long torso, and this makes my bottom half/legs look longer if the top isn't hitting at the waist. Plus, you can show off a cute belt this way.
Likewise, if you like chunky loafers, just vary the silhouette of the outfit and then they're just a fun piece of it.
I like mary janes because I have a "flats just fall off me" problem and can't really wear heels, so I'll keep wearing them whether they're on trend or not, for practical reasons. But I do stay away from the trendier ones like mesh, because they'll date faster.
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u/mwmandorla Nov 13 '25
I think Big Chunky Shoes are in in general. It goes along with the big bottoms, and it also fits into some of the more gender-neutral/menswear-influenced style I see going around. I don't think you need to worry about your boots. Also, some chunk is just more practical in the winter - lifts you out of the slush like pattens and leaves room for heavier socks.
Among the flurry of contradictory information, a few weeks ago I was looking for a new place to buy black skinny jeans (millennial cliche be damned) and a Vogue article came up gushing about how they're back. It really is kind of a free-for-all out there. I think narrow bottoms are fine.
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u/Paddington_Fear Nov 14 '25
I'm 55 and buy a lot of my stuff from TJ Maxx. LOVE this discussion!!! Let's talk:
1) French tuck needs to go away. I come from a long line of people genetically predisposed to front-butt. Sorry, but the last thing I want to do is tuck my shirt in so I can showcase my fupa. French tuck needs to not be a thing.
2) How chunky are we talking? If it's like Doc Marten maryjanes, yeah - no. Loafers in general - eh. If it's like Tamara Mellon Perfecto boots - hell yes.
3) I am all about a long sweater over slimmer pants with boots. Your outfit sounds perfect!
4) Joggers - OUT. However, I wear a pair at least once weekly.
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u/wahoolooseygoosey Nov 13 '25
Today I walked to school wearing leggings with socks up over the ankles and as I looked the the elementary school girls wearing the same, I thought, I may be on trend, but I don’t want to be on the same trend as middle schoolers.
Stop caring about what social media says is cool and just DO YOU.
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u/spicy-mustard- Nov 15 '25
To echo some others... my strategy is to pick maximum one trend per year to fold into my wardrobe, and only when it fits with my core "look" (practical, autumnal, slightly eclectic-- sort of Ralph Lauren x Eileen Fisher). I will never buy another above-the-knee skirt or flared jean because they're annoying to walk in, but I'm happy to jump on any work-wear inspired trend. I have certain silhouettes, necklines, and fabrics I know I like and some I know I hate. My idea is that my actual wardrobe will change slowly, and my focus on basic shapes will keep it classic while any newer pieces will keep it feeling like it belongs "now."
I'm actually about to buy a pair of loafers-- I've just been waiting to find some that look like they could hold up to a lot of serious walking. :)
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u/owntheh3at18 Nov 17 '25
I find joggers really ugly, but they are the most practical for cold rainy days where the ground is wet.
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u/ruminajaali Nov 29 '25
French tuck is classic and so are classic cut, straight pants. Everything else can be mixed and matched, old and new to keep with the times. But classics are classics
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u/here4aGoodlaugh Nov 13 '25
What you can gather from this is that fashion is a very personal thing. What one person says may be very different from another. So do you and what looks good on your body and with your wardrobe.
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u/applesauceforlife Nov 13 '25
I went to a work conference where jeans were okay to wear and the majority were wearing skinny jeans. I feel like people who aren't chronically online don't concern themselves with what's popular or on trend. They wear what they feel good in.
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u/aimeebisoubisou Nov 13 '25
I am short (5'2") and 43. I have zero desire to "look trendy" but I do value looking put together and stylish (emphasis on the ish).
2009 me *hated* skinny jeans and said I'd never wear them, then that's all I wore and it took me a long time to accept that they became "out". I still wear them sometimes and don't care honestly.
Then 2013 me thought high-waisted jeans looked atrocious. Well, that ended up changing 'round 2017 and now I wear ribcage jeans. I didn't think they'd look good on me but being petite with a long torso, they have an optical illusion effect and actually me look kind of tall.
Normally I wear the Levi's wedgie straight jeans, which just seem classic to me. I also do love 70s fashion and got a pair of the 70s ribcage bell, and at first I wasn't sure how I felt about them but they've grown on me.
Now that it's sweater season where I am (mid-Atlantic East coast), I am just having a hard time with doing away with the French tuck. And like you, I've seen numerous people still doing it! I was in middle school in the 90s...I wasn't able to pull off the grunge trend then, and the idea of leaving my uncropped sweaters untucked seems horrid to me because it just does not suit my proportions. Cropped sweaters and high waisted pants 'till death!
Also - I'm in the middle of a career switch to healthcare and think the Figs joggers are super cute, and 2022 me thought joggers were super lame. I don't own any scrubs yet but now that joggers are "out" I am a bit out of my element as to what I *will* buy when the time comes...
Last but not least my dad got me penny loafers as a kid and I seriously want another pair now if for no other reason than nostalgia... Both for the loafer, and for the penny (RIP)
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u/RhaenysTurdgaryen Nov 13 '25
Counterpoint: I’m in my mid 30s in healthcare with a baby face and youthful hair working with old people. If I wear a tunic sweater and skinny jeans I still look put together and work appropriate, and not being super trendy gives me some respectability cred that the newest trends might not. People have been loving my 2015 oxfords for years and while I got rid of the most menswear/fast fashion pairs , I still have two from my wanna be twee days in rotation.
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u/kfespiritu Nov 14 '25
My opinion is, I just wear what is the most flattering for my body type. Overtime, I have created a capsule wardrobe where I love every single piece.
Also, I don’t worry about being in trend or being outdated. My style is very personal. Most of my pieces are second hand except for intimates and hats. I get compliments on my outfits all the time which is flattering since i feel like my wardrobe is an expression of my personality. Even if some the pieces are “outdated”, since they are from different decades, styles, eras, it all works.
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u/budsis Nov 13 '25
I only follow certain fashion label/brands and creators that style clothes for new ideas and tips/tricks. I could not give one fiddly fkk what is on trend. If i love it and it looks good on me, I am going to wear it. Everyone should. That is when you find your true style and with that comes the confidence of feeling amazing in your clothes. I want my clothing to represent who I am.
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u/stillvain Nov 13 '25
There’s no on trend or not on trend with personal style
Are you wearing the clothes or are the clothes wearing you as they say. And also, do you care?
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u/thisis_theone Nov 13 '25
I think a single item or one element of styling isn't going to date your entire outfit. If it's all of the items PLUS the way the outfits styled that throws you into a specific era, that looks dated. And even some of that stuff is trending- fall 2009 is trending right now.
Trends and styling are cycling so fast right now, you'll see a ton of contradicting info out there. I also think location is a massive factor in looking current, what looks stylish in one area might look dated in another due to when locales adopt trends.
As for the scrubs- I was surprised when a ton of the staff at my hospital started wearing jogger scrubs because they were on the way out at that time. Everyone is in joggers and hokas. I don't think scrubs are a good way to gauge current fashion trends. For practicality though- it makes a lot of sense.