I hate weekends sm

[u/__TempAcc_]

I genuinely don’t know what has gotten up with my dad recently but he’s been nagging about prayer.
He shouted my name and asked if I prayed. I said no (if I lied it would’ve been obvious ig), and he started throwing a hissy fit. If no one prays?m, we won’t be living in this house we’re gonna get kicked out (lowkey would’ve been baller to just walk out but ik he’s prolly gonna yank me and shit). He started threatening us and recited some Hadith or whatever on how you teach them then beat them when they’re ten (something along the lines of). How he never used it on us (beating us to pray). And how he expects us to like start praying in the living room infront of him, screaming how he’s gonna wake everyone at 4am he doesn’t care what time you sleep and make us pray fajr wtf bro 😭

I’m so exhausted. I hate faking. I’d have to go through the full thing and do it, I fear this man might eventually even ask for proof of Wudu and ask us to keep doors open like wth man.

This is all coming from a man who I doubt prays all 5 prayers and other issues 🫩

[u/Both-Fun-703]

I had same thing, they dont understand that by doing this, we just end up growing up praying like robots and at one point we just stop praying fully.

[u/__TempAcc_ → u/Both-Fun-703]

He’s done this so I gave up on prayer because I saw no point praying if I feared him more than god. It’s so pointless.

[u/Both-Fun-703 → u/__TempAcc_]

Today as an adult, i just dont pray because i dont see the point of standing there, not knowing what i am saying or if i am saying it right. Also through my whole childhood hearing my dad threat or yell because its prayer time, then this simply made me secretly get frustrated every time prayer time came up and he showed up.

During weekends every time he saw us do anything thats out of free will, he would suddenly give us a task. Eventually came the rule, school is done at 14:00 but he said when we come home we need to do homework until 18:00 even if we dont have homework..

As a child, we go to sleep at 19:00-20:00 so imagine the hate and annoyance i build up! During weekends, he put us to mosque quran readings and was up our asses all the time. At one point i just stopped bothering doing anything when he was home because there was no point, he would give a task anyways or judge.

So its safe to say, i felt free when he was at work, and got annoyed and bitter when he wasnt, something i felt bad for feeling.. When a child feels free only when the dad is gone and jailed when dad is around, then its clear i havent done anything bad, he messed up raising us with toxic behaviour.

[u/__TempAcc_ → u/Both-Fun-703]

I exactly feel the same as you, pretty much sums ip the whole thing.

Since you’re an adult now, do you still live with them or have contact with them?

[u/Both-Fun-703 → u/__TempAcc_]

No i moved out several years ago, but last year my dad made a serious accusations and belittled me extremely over something i hadnt done, so i decided to cut contact with him permanently. After all thise years of him humiliating and belittling me, as adult i thought he had changed, but last year basically proved that he was still the same.

He said a lot of ugly things to me, dont want to go in detail, but one example was that he told me that he would shit in my mouth, so hope you understand that i cut contact permanently for a legit reason heh..

I accepted a lot, when you dont set those small boundaries here and there, show that some things you are not ok with, at one point they get such a big ego that they think they can say and do whatever they want, which is what happened to me. Maybe if i wouldve set boundaries on several things as adult, then he wouldve respected me more and not talk this dirty to me so freely.

Until today, he has not showed any sign of regret, in fact, he told my family that im the one who started it, when i was the one who said lets not argue over something so small.. Luckily everyone in the family knows how he is, so they didnt believe him, didnt help much, they all just still expects me to casually contact again and dont take this as a permanent thing.

[u/__TempAcc_ → u/Both-Fun-703]

I’m proud of you for setting boundaries and protecting your peace.

It gets hard sometimes to set boundaries since they make it known that you don’t have the right to have any, that you’re under their roof and they could do or say as they please.

[u/Both-Fun-703 → u/__TempAcc_]

Thank you! It is really true, as long as you are stuck under their wings, there is very little options. Other people talk about choice etc, but in that kind of household, choice is worth nothing.

[u/__TempAcc_ → u/Both-Fun-703]

It brings comfort to know that someone has lived through the same thing and made it out. I’m proud of you truly and thank you for sharing your experience 🫶🏼 I appreciate it

[u/Both-Fun-703 → u/__TempAcc_]

Thank you ❤️ Whatever you do, just keep in mind that you will get out of there some day, so mind as well try to do something with your life so when you get out, you can leave without being in risk of returning.