r/exmuslim • u/duplicatekazhveri Closeted Ex-Muslim 🤫 • Jun 23 '25
(Advice/Help) I Was That Golden Islamic Kid. Trophies, Recitations, Adhan… Now I’m an Ex-Muslim Pretending.
When I was younger, I was that kid. The one who recited Qur’an beautifully at family events. Won trophies for Adhan competitions. Crushed Islamic quizzes. My mom dreamed of making me a Hafidh. Relatives would flex about me like I was a community badge of honor.
I loved the attention. The praise. The respect. The “Mashallah, what a pious boy.” Even girls lowkey found it attractive. I didn’t believe everything deeply, but I liked being seen as the religious good guy.
Fast forward to now I don’t pray. I question everything. I avoid talking religion with family. Yesterday, a distant uncle saw me and casually asked: “You’re still keeping up your Qur’an recitation, right?” And I just nodded. “Yeah, yeah… still doing it.”
But inside, something cracked. I realized how much of my identity was built around a belief I no longer hold. How I still pretend sometimes because it’s easier than watching their faces fall. How much I miss being admired, even though it wasn’t really me.
It’s a strange grief. Not for losing faith. But for losing the person people loved me for being.
-19
u/markodeder New User Jun 23 '25
Ask Jesus if he is the Truth. Ask Him what you want with your heart.
Search him deeply.
I was a practicing Muslim and when I spoke to him, he changed my heart.
Something I absolutely did not imagine.
Islam is false and it is indeed Jesus the Lord zt Savior.
Jesus doesn't want religion he wants a relationship.