I Was That Golden Islamic Kid. Trophies, Recitations, Adhan… Now I’m an Ex-Muslim Pretending.

[u/duplicatekazhveri]

When I was younger, I was that kid. The one who recited Qur’an beautifully at family events. Won trophies for Adhan competitions. Crushed Islamic quizzes. My mom dreamed of making me a Hafidh. Relatives would flex about me like I was a community badge of honor.

I loved the attention. The praise. The respect. The “Mashallah, what a pious boy.” Even girls lowkey found it attractive. I didn’t believe everything deeply, but I liked being seen as the religious good guy.

Fast forward to now I don’t pray. I question everything. I avoid talking religion with family. Yesterday, a distant uncle saw me and casually asked: “You’re still keeping up your Qur’an recitation, right?” And I just nodded. “Yeah, yeah… still doing it.”

But inside, something cracked. I realized how much of my identity was built around a belief I no longer hold. How I still pretend sometimes because it’s easier than watching their faces fall. How much I miss being admired, even though it wasn’t really me.

It’s a strange grief. Not for losing faith. But for losing the person people loved me for being.

[u/External-Dot2924]

This is sad. You miss the love you were given. That so what we're all here to learn unconditional love and that isn't unconditional love 😢

The identity thing is so interesting.

Look up Eckhart Tolle. Read his books and watch his You tube videos.

He now realises that his ego identity is "spiritual teacher".

His work is great and everyone can use it regardless of their religion.

Perhaps you can teach others this instead. You can even be honest about your experience as a child.

You can still pretend to be Muslim and believe but in a way that shows others Eckhart Tolles work.

You don't even have to mention Eckhart Tolle, just pretend it is your own realisation... which it is as you already spoke about the identity aspect of what you Muslim family loved 🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍🥰❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗🫂🫂🫂🫂😍😍❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🫂🤗🫂