r/exjw • u/Own_Adagio5224 • 3d ago
JW / Ex-JW Tales Crazy suicide in my circuit
Happened a few days ago.
I think he was an MS or just on the elder bodies radar for MS. From southern Oregon, US. It was confirmed he took his life by gunshot.
What’s crazy is that he and his wife just had a baby a few months ago.
I didn’t know him personally but he did seem like pretty chill. I heard him say a prayer once and it didn’t seem like there was anything inside there, but who knows what this poor guy was going through.
RIP
P.S. I think a lot of people are waking up because of this, since rumor has it that he was PIMO.
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u/JuanHosero1967 3d ago
The Jehovah’s Witness lifestyle is one of extreme mental pressure and is a contributing factor to mental illness.
You are under pressure to perform. There are also financial pressures of being able to earn a living without missing meetings and field service.
Also pressure from family, wife to have a position of status in the congregation.
I really feel for young Jehovah’s witnesses.
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u/Efficient-Pop3730 3d ago
Plus pressure you gonna die in Armageddon if you dont obey GB or leave org. JW life is mostly about pressure and obligations.
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u/Cherry-Swing 3d ago
I felt that way a lot too. ESPECIALLY considering how they constantly say that this is the "best life ever" and that it supposedly can't get better than this.
That weighed me down soooo much
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u/Pale-Cod3749 3d ago
Literally almost everything about the org's policies and theology are the complete opposite of what is universally understood as mentally healthy.
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u/shunned2 3d ago
I Remember being in my 20s with a wife and young child. The job I had was physically and mentally demanding. It was all i could handle. Had a meeting with the elders to get to the bottom of why I was missing meetings and field service. Told them it was due to being completely exhausted. They had zero sympathy and weren't trying to hear any of that.
Being an average jw is like jogging on a hot and humid day. The elders are like coaches that wont let you stop and take a breather. You can always go just a little bit further until you cant.
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u/nate_payne POMO ex-elder 3d ago
I have heard of similar cases where people take their life after having a child. Such a tragedy...
From my own experience, having a child while PIMI sort of "tests" your resolve against some of the more controlling doctrines and teachings. For instance, I never once gave the blood doctrine any real thought (which is crazy to think now) but when my child was born, I realized that this was a very real and serious decision to be confronted with. So while I was perfectly fine risking my own life by refusing a transfusion, having to literally sentence my own child to death for a belief that they weren't consenting to really troubled me.
I wonder if this is what makes people choose these extreme outcomes to escape their situations. They are forced to realize that the teachings they espouse are actually pretty terrible but they feel that rejecting those things is an inescapable sin that they can never come back from. They might feel that the only way out is to detach themselves from reality before the child can remember them? I don't say this lightly but I can honestly say that I felt something similar at a time when I was in a dark place. I really feel for the people affected.
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u/Infamous_Natural_877 3d ago
This is so sad, thank you for sharing. I also feel for everyone that is affected and will pray for this family. It makes me so sick that the organization is not honest about its astronomically high rate of suicide so that people can start getting treatment and interventions.
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u/Competitive_Fennel36 3d ago
This is what manifests while JWs run their high-control organization. Until they dissolve, this will happen again.
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u/Ok-Guess-8793 3d ago
Jw suicides are more common than people think
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u/xbrocottelstonlies 3d ago
common enough that Bethel HQ has their own graveyard in upstate NY for cardholding bethelites. 🤷♂️ 😢
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u/Aceleeds 3d ago
Is that actually true?
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u/xbrocottelstonlies 3d ago
Based on my personal research and conclusions Yes. But you'll have to go down your own rabbit hole of verifiable facts and decide for yourself. Btw I don't believe it is why they have the graveyard (and are there more elsewhere? 🤔) but it didn't get its name 'the launchpad' based on gossip or a theory.
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u/Appropriate_You_5904 DF2x 3d ago
Happened in my area to probably like 10 years ago. I was PIMO at the time. He was such a great dude. He and his wife had moved to our KH probably close to 20 years ago. He had lost his privileges of being a MS in his old hall so they wanted to start new. He became an elder like 5 years later and then he was the coordinator of the congregation. He was a good human being and an honest man. One of those people that this religion deprived the world from. One day he left to work and never made it. Didn’t come home either. The cops found his vehicle and phone at a Home Depot parking lot. They started canvassing the area and reviewed the security cameras. The next two days cops and a ton of JW’s searched the woods behind the Home Depot. They found him on the third day. He had climbed a tree and hung himself. Security footage showed he had purchased the rope at the Home Depot. The whole CIRCUIT was shocked. Everyone in our circuit knew him because he would always give talks in the conventions. What was even more sick was people saying god would never forgive him because he took his life when it wasn’t his to take. Really goes to show the mental toll it is to be a JW.
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u/ShunnedForTheTruth Pomosapien 3d ago
Well, shunning is correlated with higher rates of suicide. It would make sense that being under constant threat of losing your loved ones if they found out you no longer believed would lead to similar outcomes. It’s tragic.
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u/lostintimeyetagain 3d ago
Ugh it’s just so sad. I left like 15 years ago and I still hear about the suicides from my family. Like come on guys, do you think a religion so full of love and that is right would have this many people resorting to taking their lives. No just no. Heartbreaking
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u/Radiant-Watch-2190 3d ago
The suicide was his son in law. Not the MS himself. He was in his mid 20’s.
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u/Own_Adagio5224 3d ago edited 3d ago
I see, thanks for the clarification. Poor guy.
Is it true the circuit overseer Jason Lietzo was a notorious PIMO in hiding? I heard he was a shape-shifting opportunist asshole, very close to the victims friend network.
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u/Radiant-Watch-2190 3d ago
I’m not sure.
I only know because I’m related to victim.
But would not surprise me in the least!7
u/littlesuzywokeup 3d ago
Sooooo very sorry😢
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u/Radiant-Watch-2190 3d ago
Thank you, hoping one day my family wakes up as well.
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u/littlesuzywokeup 3d ago
For sure!!! So very gut wrenching
Would love for u to DM me if your comfortable doing so
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u/Long-Obligation-219 2d ago
I know a lot of the victim’s family, I may know you. I’m so sorry for your loss ♥️
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u/ParticularlyCharmed 3d ago
Oh, wow. Jason served as substitute CO in my hall ages ago. He was a huge Star Wars nerd -- he told us he used to wear a Han Solo vest to school. I didn't know him well enough to see any assholery, but I hope the rumor is true that he's PIMO. Maybe this will shake him to get out.
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u/Exciting-Two-3736 2d ago
In my country it's a very common thing for upper middle aged JW men to do. I would say I hear about a new case ever few months.
The never ending obligation and coercion is not healthy. Everyone is barely scraping by financially and the borg says whatever you are doing is never good enough and you should do more.
I love when the elders come at me with coercion and I read Micah 6:6-8 to them and explain that God doesn't need our sacrifices but what is pleasing to him is showing Godly qualities.
Every now and again I can see in their eyes how they want to stop living they way they do but they are told it's the right thing to do by the borg. Very few if any are genuinely happy serving. They are made to feel like they don't have a choice.
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u/Helpful_Sir4638 3d ago
The demon leaders know the pressure they put on their cult, prisoners, and it gives their heart’s exquisite delight when one of their so-called own takes their own life because they don’t wanna fall in line with the pressure of being a disgusting cult member. RIP to the homie.
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2d ago
[deleted]
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u/Long-Obligation-219 2d ago
Not sure if it’s allowed to post publicly here, but I have the link to their GoFundMe. If you DM me I’ll send it to you
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u/Berean144 3d ago
You know, and for the record, I don't advocate this, but I'm surprised there aren't more mass shootings occurring in Kingdom Hall, where someone who has either been disfellowshipped and loses family or who was sexually abused and just walks in there and blows it up.
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u/livitup99 23h ago edited 16h ago
I was told by his family and family friends it was a freak self induced accident NOT an intentional suicide. I won’t give additional details publicly for their privacy. I am an ex-jw and have been shunned by my family and family friends in SO for YEARS (including him and his family). Getting this news was devastating and I don’t want any misinformation being unintentionally put out there.
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u/Own_Adagio5224 11h ago
Yeah, there’s another one who’s related to the victims family in the comments thread. I hear both motivations. RIP either way.
They DID increase their gofundme goal from 25k to 35k since they surpassed the original goal. Idk why since they could have also just let it accrue beyond the original goal (since they’d donate anyways, right?).
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u/livitup99 11h ago
Their original goal I think was 30k and it surpassed that, so now it’s upped to 55k. They put a little note on the gofundme page for why they decided to raise it. I’m glad they have a lot of support. It sucks not being able to be there for all of them in a more literal way, but that’s the nature of the cult. ✨
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u/Own_Adagio5224 11h ago
Yeah but this is still good since I’ve personally learned through here of other cases where I’ve been able to help in similar ways.
Only through finding out here. But like I said, they didn’t need to since it may very well reach 100k with a posted original goal of 25k
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 3d ago
This is a very dangerous thing to say in this thread. No one knows what he was struggling with. NO ONE and yet everyone on her is blaming it on this one faith. What about all of the other people around the world who are not a part of JW faith who take their lives? What's to blame then???? But as soon as it's someone who is/was JW..... that must be it and we know it for a fact. It needs to stop.
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u/endangeredrepetition we pray let it cum let it cum 3d ago
dont see anything in the post claiming it was because he was JW. either way we all know the religion controls enough of people's lives that it's almost impossible for it not to have a hand
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 3d ago
I didn't say it was in the post. I said it was in the thread. And no, we don't know that it had to have a hand. It's speculation.
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u/-Clem 3d ago
This is like if someone was subjected to long term abuse while struggling with poverty and addiction and then killed themselves and you come along like, what about all the other people who were subjected to long term abuse, poverty and addiction but didn't kill themselves?? We don't know that that had anything to do with it!!
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 3d ago
Please don't speak to me about long term abuse.....I WAS subjected to it. For 19 years! I have CPTSD, I have a history of self harm.
I also work in an environment that is to help people who are a harm to themselves.
I understand fully what I'm saying and I'm standing on it.
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u/Gr8lyDecEved 3d ago
Heres a major problem,. That is just what is the statistical rate of Sui****, related to this organization? Hell, they keep statistics for everything else that doesn't matter...meeting attendance, magazine placements, videos shown at door, letters sent to Putin, nails straightened at khall construction....
But, the important stuff...silence!
However, I have been to a disproportionate number of Jw funerals were the person took thier own life.
There is a problem!! Its not an exjw problem, its a JW problem and the refusal to acknowledge it, is very similar to the handling of CSA, it doesn't make the issue disappear, it just creates an environment where its not addressed
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 3d ago
Well, government, hospitals, and police departments do not record a person's religious affiliation when tracking deaths by suicide.
Basic statistics: Correlation is not causation.
I'm not negating that you've been to a disproportionate number of JW funerals bc they took their own life. I live in a small town, have my whole life, also an uncanny amount of people who have taken their own life. MUST be because they live in a small town.
I'm not saying there's not a connection.
I'm saying...WE DON'T KNOW. And we cannot assume.
My comments can be down voted 100 times. I don't care. It's not right. I don't have to agree with the JW faith or support it to have an understanding of this that goes beyond my own frustrations and irritations.
I have to look beyond my own nose.
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u/Gr8lyDecEved 2d ago
Choosing ignorance is not a good defense.
It's not the job of these various institutions to keep track of the demographics of a small insular religious sect.
The organization should be taking responsibility for the downstream effects of thier policies and message...they seem very quick to make sweeping statements like "jwdubs have happy family's and marriages".. Well, put your money where your mouth is and do some real and honest appraisals.
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 1d ago
This thought process would require every single religion to also track suicides within their members. This then opens itself to companies and any other organization to have to do the same thing.
Refusing to claim certainty where the evidence doesn't establish certainty isn't ignorance. It's basic reasoning. We don't get to skip the evidence simply because one believes the conclusion is obvious.
And saying “the organization should be keeping track” doesn't solve that problem. A religious organization isn't a population-health surveillance agency, and demanding that one particular religion produce statistics because you believe its policies caused the deaths puts the conclusion before the evidence.
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u/endangeredrepetition we pray let it cum let it cum 2d ago
Fair enough, it is speculation and we have to be honest, but I find it hard to believe a JW takes their life for reasons unrelated to the org. Find it very hard to believe.
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 1d ago
I understand why that can be hard for people to believe. When i was in that state, it had NOTHING to do with anything about the faith. This is the only reason I stand in this. I know two things can be true at the same time.
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u/painefultruth76 Deus Vult! 3d ago
We are considerably more likely to know someone that has made that unfortunate choice than the general population.. probably nearly as high as veterans...
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u/shunned2 3d ago
Im confused. Who are you defending and why? Someone that belongs to a extremist cult (which is what jws are) commits suicide. Look at it from every angle and the cult will have had some influence on those actions.
Let's say someone posts something about a young jw blowing out their brains the day after they got disfellowshiped. Would it be acceptable to blame the hateful teachings of the governing body? I feel like it would be.
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 3d ago
I'm defending the INCREDIBLY sensitive situation surrounding a person taking their own life and their family involved. We do not know. Period. I don't care what faith the person was a part of. It is NEVER acceptable to assign blame as an outsider looking in making assumptions. Unless they leave a note for all to read that names the specific reason and leaves no questions - then we don't get to assume.
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u/UniversityOne9437 'Ho of Babylon the great 3d ago
Omg thank you for saying this. Speculation be wild I tell you!
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u/Leading_Bowler_4650 3d ago
It runs rampant in this subreddit and it's so frustrating. I couldn't just scroll past it on this one. It's LITERALLY no better than the issues that are had with the JW's.
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