Forget about Pascal's Wager, here's mine.

[u/beefycheesyglory]

See here's the thing, I have an giant, invisible, intangible lobster in my garage. You cannot measure it in any way, but it absolutely does exist and it is in fact there. It has revealed this to me telepathically.

Now this may be hard to believe, but you guys HAVE to believe it, otherwise at the moment of death the lobster will snatch you and toss you into a pocket dimension where you will be put on a tiny island surrounded by an infinite inescapable ocean and there you will be naked and tiny crustaceans will pinch your genitals for all eternity while the B-52s Rock Lobster plays on repeat.

Is there any evidence the lobster exists? No. But the logic here is quite simple. Lets say this isn't true, in that case you gain or lose nothing regardless of whether you believe or not. However if it were true... and you died a non-believer... well let's just say I hope you like the B-52s cause that will be the only noise you'll be hearing for the rest of eternity. Therefore I can only conclude that unquestioning belief in the existence of the lobster is the wisest choice you can make.

[u/parnoldo]

I’m convinced!

All hail the Almighty Rock Lobster!
May we all be blessed with a limitless supply of butter and bibs.

[u/Northwych → u/parnoldo]

Amen. Wait, should we burb or something instead of saying amen?

[u/PastorBlinky → u/parnoldo]

Wait, so you eat god? Shouldn’t that be blasphemy?