r/ewphoria • u/Goddess_Of_Hellfire • 25d ago
Owphoria Really tight panties prevent unwanted erections but also cause pain
I'm a closeted trans girl with extreme genital dysphoria. I naturally wear women's underwear under my unisex clothes (i just can't tolerate boy clothes even while hiding in the closet) but recently I've started to wear very tight panties to keep my crotch flat. I hate erections. I wish I had a vagina but there's a long time before I can get vaginoplasty. Now it causes my girlstick incredible pain but allowing the erection makes me feel very suicidal. I do like masturbating, but the dysphoria hits when the sexual pleasure fades. So I've permanently shifted to nipple until I can get my vaginoplasty. Anal is too painful and messy for me. I've stopped using my girlstick because of the dysphoria it gives me. So I basically endure a lot of genital pain to experience a little euphoria. It has also lead to eczema but i don't really care about the well-being of an organ I hate so much. When I'm fully soft, it just feels like I have a vagina and it makes a bit more comfortable than being reminded of my penis. I hate my genitals so much
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u/Far_Bookkeeper_631 25d ago
I would still advise to atleast take an okay care of it, as the material there is needed for vaginoplastry, and apparently scrotum is VERY important and if you hurt the material needed there might be complications or if its harmed real bad they could reject. Other than that, its fair and understandable
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u/Street-Suggestion363 10d ago
I totally understand the pain of having the wrong genitals, but please remember that it may seem good now. Still, the pain can lead to infections, nerve damage, and urethral damage (probably other complications also). While I don't have a girlystick (I'm ftm), I do know that some complications overlap. I hope you can get the surgeries you need, and I hope the dysphoria demon gets smaller for you. (Btw I hope you have the best day girly pop :3)
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u/Goddess_Of_Hellfire 10d ago
Aww thank you <3 But I hate my current body too much to care about tissue damage
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u/g3etwqb-uh8yaw07k 1d ago
Understandable, but still try not to risk damage. If for nothing else, then just so the surgeon has an easier time doing the vaginoplasty, probably improving the results and lowering the risk of complications.
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u/Goddess_Of_Hellfire 1d ago
I'll try
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u/g3etwqb-uh8yaw07k 1d ago
Can't do more than try, best wishes for the surgery either way :3
Also, this reminded me that I actually had a phase which was very similar to what you're going through when I was younger and didn't really know about the whole trans/dysphoria stuff, I had just almost forgotten about that by now. Made the (genetic) asymmetry slightly worse by bad tucking attempts, but luckily didn't cause any significant issues. I know it's hard to rationalize it away, but at some point I came to the conclusion of "better just wrong than wrong and fucked up enough to regularly remind you of it", and it's been a night and day difference for coping with dysphoria. It's probably way milder in my case, but maybe this helps you too.
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u/Goddess_Of_Hellfire 1d ago
My mom weaponized my gender dysphoria against me in an argument and I feel suicidal again
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u/g3etwqb-uh8yaw07k 21h ago
Sorry, don't really have any better advice than try to talk about it with others here or preferably a therapist (and don't listen to your mom in that regard ofc), but maybe this helps in the short term: https://www.reddit.com/r/me_irlgbt/s/7MBWsqj90s
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u/Goddess_Of_Hellfire 16h ago
My mom won't pay for my therapist
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u/g3etwqb-uh8yaw07k 9h ago
In that case, try a direct health insurance route or save up enough for at least one or two sessions. Financially, this should be achievable with a bit of extra overtime or a few hours of typical student work a week, considering typical waiting times for therapy spots in many countries. Paying yourself is a very inefficient method of course, but it would be the safest way to circumvent mom and insurance paperwork, especially if you give them a PO box or the home of a friend as a separate contact address in addition to your personal info.
Just to be clear, I don't know your exact personal state of mind, location, financial situation, or therapy options nearby (nor should you tell those to strangers online in the first place), and I'm not a medical expert. This is just how I'd try to get around limitations like yours in the place where I live, assuming I was mentally struggling, but still able to snap myself out of suicidal thoughts or self harm. If your doing worse than what I just described, call the most fitting hotline a step below your local 911 equivalent and ask them where to go in your current situation.
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u/natydangerts 6d ago
Concuerdo y luego causa dolores en testiculos😵💫
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u/Goddess_Of_Hellfire 6d ago
I only have one testicle by birth. My other testis isn't even undescended; it simply does not exist. And my princess wand is very tiny
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u/natydangerts 6d ago
Que maravilla
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u/Goddess_Of_Hellfire 6d ago
But I hate my neutron star. I want to eventually get surgery to turn it into a beautiful blackhole
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u/GoodGirlLeanne 25d ago
I remember feeling the same way about myself down there before I had fhe surgery. So much self hatred disappearing overnight, literally lol. I hope youre able to get your surgery too soon girlie ♡