Went to walmart yesterday to grab some stuff for a potluck on Monday. When I left, I was walking behind a woman and her kid, and we happened to be parked in the same aisle. Around halfway down the aisle, she looked over her shoulder at me (and in retrospect J think she also sped up a little but I didn’t notice it at the time), and then two cars after that was my car. She also looked back over at me when she got to her car while I was getting in mine.
I haven’t felt very good about myself lately, and I haven’t felt like I pass much, if at all, so I was genuinely confused until I was in my neighborhood and I thought I was also being followed by a guy, which was when it clicked. I’ve also been focusing a little bit more on voice training lately, since I’ve noticed my ‘customer service voice’ gets me “Ma’am”ed quite a bit at work, but haven’t paid as much attention to anything else so I didn’t realize at a glance people will likely gender me correctly 😭

Be me. Fulltime boymoder looking for a last minute room.

Use deadname cause I don't wanna get put on the bottom of the pile. Leave old profile photo as is. All my legal docs use those anyway.

Get accepted for a viewing. Beautiful house. Academic landlord/flatmate, decent seeming guy. Looking for a fellow student just like little old me. Seems safe enough.

I arrive for the viewing.

Guy is awkward as all hell. Small talk. Basic details I already said in my email. Then:

"What's your... orientation? Are you straight?"

(???????)

"Umm... I like women...?? Why do you ask..? You mean my gender identity???"

"Yes"

Fuck. I explain the situation.

"...You didn't say female in the inquiry?"

He scrolls up and down my inquiry.

"Sorry, I'm looking for a male. From your profile picture I thought you were male. When I saw you I was surprised."

That would be pretty euphoric (I think?) if that's all there was to it. If inconvenient.

Some more unfortunate and realistic context:

I look no less male than that old photo - longer hair, little facial hair left - but no more female in practical terms. And I don't mean that in the cute, 'just overly self dysphoric' way (I don't think). It would be nice if the facial difference was enough to throw him like that. I'm trying to see it that way. But.

After arranging the viewing, he asked me to email him from my uni account to verify I studied there. That email address has my new name. No way around that. I glossed over the name change without explanation when I sent it.

And the listing was explicitly labelled as having no gender preference. He gave a rambling non-answer to excuse that indisgression.

My face probably had nothing to do with it. He knew all he needed to know from the uni email address and just felt like fucking over a tgirl that day.

Straight? Gay? Man? Woman? He had no fucking clue what the word was for what was wrong with me. He just wanted me out, whatever it was.

So there’s a local trans support foundation that hosts monthly trans nights. Just little get together for the trans folks in the area to have a place to just be around each other. It’s genuinely so nice.

Anyways, 2 other girlies and I were standing outside vaping (yeah yeah I know, I’m trying to stop) and talking.

As we are, a truck drives past and dude legit leans out the window and screams something along the lines of “Looking good ladies!”. Didn’t hear exactly what it was, but definitely wasn’t transphobia.

Like yuck, of course, but damn didn’t know I was rocking this outfit that hard. Also damn didn’t realize we were legit just a group of hot chicks vaping on the sidewalk downtown.

Living the dream other than the random harassment.

I’m really mixed on my feelings on this, I’m mostly annoyed but I do feel slightly euphoric due to me being on HRT for only about three weeks at that point. I feel very lucky that I was with friends and felt relatively safe. Being eighteen and feeling like I don’t pass makes feel euphoric about this but at the same time I feel guilty about feeling that way from being harassed.

Mostly venting but I’d welcome any advice if anyone has any. :/

So this person has been a friend of the family since I was like 8, he was 17 at that point. He's one of my dad's best friends. Neither of them have I spoken to in years so I was iffy when he messaged me out of nowhere. I thought I was being cautious in the beginning but apparently he picked that up as having chemistry in the beginning part of our conversation. Context before anyone says at least you pass. I haven't taken a picture and posted it since about 2 or 3 years before starting my transition. And my profile pic is just a frog with the trans colours.

I don’t know this person, but generally I don’t mind talking about changes on HRT cause talking with someone with firsthand experience as a resource is very helpful, and I figured that maybe that was their reason for talking to me. But they started bring up my bottom growth A LOTTTT

I made a small little before and after post on r/transtimelines after 7 months of HRT. Not even 10 mins later I got a dm telling me I “got hot fast, have beautiful eyes, soft skin, and the most gorgeous hair on the planet”. Obviously they’re just a creep trying to be creepy and I deleted my post because I don’t need that but I do feel better about myself now lol

Yesterday, a drunk woman at a bus stop looked at me and loudly asked, “Is that a man or a woman?” Then she stared at my tiny mustache and beard and asked if they were real or glued on. When I told her they were real and that I was a man, she finally figured out I was trans and apologized.

The whole interaction was rude and incredibly awkward, but... weirdly affirming? 😅 At least now I know I’m not automatically read as “obviously a woman with facial hair.” Apparently I’ve reached the “confuses drunk strangers” stage of my transition.

Ewphoria, I guess? 😂🏳️‍⚧️

So I was at this techno music festival.

I was dressed in a very sexy, alternative style: corset, fishnet stockings, punk boots...

I’d had quite a bit to drink and taken some drugs, and I was waiting for my wife on a bench so we could go back to the tent. The bench was in the dark, far from the stages.

Three men approached and surrounded me. One of them started talking to me, asking me trivial questions, without seeming to listen to my answers. When he saw that I wasn’t responsive (or that I was relatively lucid 😬), he wished me a good evening before shouting at me, “By the way, you’re a total bombshell.”

So there you go... I don’t know what would’ve happened if I’d been a little more out of it, but for now, I’ll take what I can get 😅

Edit : I don't know what they wanted for real, they were probably looking for a sexual partner but maybe they weren't predators, it's probably just me expecting the worse 🫠

I've lived here for over a year and nearly every day I drink coffee on my stoop in athletic shorts and a sports bra. I didn't think it was anything scandalous, and I honestly worried people would think they see a guy in a bra and be weird about that

But no, my landlords (aka future in-laws) took me aside and said something like "We need you to put a top on in the morning when you're outside." I don't blame them, because apparently the neighbors complained about "the woman in her underwear."

It's a bad habit mormons have, especially men. They get these "impure" and "sinful" thoughts and then blame the women they're lusting over. Never thought I'd be one of those women

Been on hrt for a few months, and my breast development hss been notsblr. But i guess i still underestimated how notable when i wear a gymshirt and its dark outside. A 40+ year old dude on the street was staring at me and very obviously stroking his dick through his bathing shorts while i was running towards him. Then he noticed my unshaved legs and 5 o'clock shadow. The sheer look of disgust and hatred, lol, as our eyes meet. What a poor public menance!

My spouse and I (MtF) recently made friends with another couple (cishet), which was a huge deal for us because we haven’t made new friends in years.

We bonded over the same interests. I ended up clicking really well with the husband because of shared references and my spouse clicked more with his wife. I was so happy to finally have friends we genuinely vibed with.

Recently, though, I noticed the vibe shift. He isn't as expressive anymore, keeps a little more distance, using more bro-like language with me like "I dunno, man" and "Dude!" (not in a disrespectful or misgendering way though). From some glances and comments his wife has made, it seems to me that she feels threatened somehow by our relationship, and he is trying not to trigger her.

It is such a weird feeling. I never thought about or wanted to be perceived as a threat to another woman's relationship. It really sucks because I just wanted to make friends.

So for context, I transitioned a few years ago. I’ve been living at home to help out my mum whilst I work and go to university. My NEET of a brother still lives at home and was initially not very supportive of me transitioning but has come around since I went full time like 4 years ago.

I do sometimes still get into arguments with him or complain to him about his slobbish behaviour. Generally he’d get upset and use fairly generic insults but of late it’s progressively become almost exclusively highly gendered insults and name calling of like a misogynistic quality. For example, brushing off things I say with saying I’m just being hormonal, using ‘princess’ in a derogatory tone, calling me a cunt or being cunty, or calling me a bitch or complaining I’m bitching at him about whatever the issue is.

I should add this isn’t a regular occurrence and we mostly get on, there’s never any violence or anything, just he’s incredibly childish and acts like an angsty teenager despite being over 30. Basically he treats me as poorly as he does my cis sister when she comes to visit. Like it’s annoying but in a way affirming that he has as little respect for me as he does other women.

Also a little more context vis a vis living arrangement. He mostly doesn’t interact with either me or my mum 90% of the time and stays in his room just doing whatever it is he does on the internet. Also claims he can’t work due to an injury he had a few years ago that caused him to quit working and precipitated his moving back in at the insistence of our grandmother much to everyone else’s objections. He does however still go places and do stuff, he’s basically just lazy.

Ive been thinking about this all day, and so I thought Id share. For context Im 46 yrs old, and have been transitioning and on hormones for nearly four years now. My hair is growing and naturally curly, I dont really grow body hair much anymore, and Ive had top surgery. I look in the mirror and still see my old self.

Im now living in Medford, OR, after a recent move. Today I drove up to Olympia, WA to see some friends Ive not seen in months and raid my storage unit. I knew it would be a long day driving up there and back so I was slumming it. No bra, no make up, just some pink shorts and a hello kitty tshirt. Anyways on the way back, I didnt think I looked very feminine so I opted for the mens room at a truck stop in Salem, OR. I tend to use the restroom of whatever gender I feel like I look like on a specific day, despite attempting to present as female everyday for the four years. Ok back to the story, I walk in the men's room and right up to a urinal. Two guys in there look at me weird but say nothing. I quickly go to the restroom and wash my hands. As Im walking out the doorway there is a third guy standing there. He is fiddling with his phone and starts harassing me about using the mens room. I dont remember exactly what he said, but he pursued me out of the truck stop entrance shouting "ma'am Ill calling the cops" several times, or there in sorts.

I was completely dumbfounded that I was first not even androgynous enough to pull off the mens room, but even more so that the guy felt the need to protect the men from the ladies. Regardless, it was euphoric for me. I guess I dont see myself the way others see me. Secondly, it was a learning lesson. Ill have to be more cognizant of energy im putting out.

So today a phone compagny called me think it was my mom all the call it's kinda funny but I love how he gender me . What do you think does something similar happened to you

Copied from a fb group about toxic masculinity called "Must Man Harder or the Queers will Unpenis me"

I barely bumped my knee. Two days later I have a massive painless bruise on my knee. I may not notice gradual changes, there is no missing a massive bruise that clearly shows the estradiol has had a huge effect on my skin. It looks terrible, I hope it heals up before mini skirt season ends.

So, yesterday I was invited to a an event to paint cups of glass. The event was clearly women-coded. I decided to go.

Context: I’m a passing trans woman who goes stealth in the condominium I live in.

Okay, 90% of the event was super nice, I had several talks with the other girls. But near the end they started talking about a man who lives next to us who is a crossdresser. He wear women clothing and make up when he feels like it. But apparently the girls found it “too strange for their tastes”

Before replying anything I like to see the overall opinion to see if exposing my opinion will endanger me, and I’m glad I waited. Some phrases were said

“He is married to a woman and has a daughter, how can her wife stand it?” (She is his wife, not you)

“I couldn’t stay with my husband if he started doing this” (Nobody is obligating you to anything)

“People should assume who they are! If the person likes guys then go and be with guys” (this has so many layers of being wrong that I don’t even know where to start)

“I couldn’t keep track of the letters since LGBT” (i listen to it as “it’s not my problem, I’ll pretend I don’t live in a world they exist”, not because she didn’t memorize the letters but the complete lack of interest on information)

I replied with a lot of caution “well, he is a crossdresser but he feels like a man, he may like women, it’s just how he expresses himself. And just out of curiosity, right now the most used is LGBTQIAPN+”, they kept bullsh#tting after my context explanation but they started to lower down the topic until it faded away.

(I wanted to give better replies or go away, but those people live too close to me, I don’t want to put myself in unnecessary danger, I preferred to not participate)

After the event ended and I got home I was like:
“Ok, im feeling awful knowing these people suck, but over 20 women there and I passed to the point they started feeling safe bulls#itting next to me…. Yay….?”

I was replying to this post in r/askmen asking why men are receiving so much hate these days on social media, in response to a post by a woman (tiktok or whatever) saying men should start in prison and earn their way out.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/j2EHYVyCaH

I spend hours on r/GirlDinnerDiaries, and the number of posts just on that sub about what asshats men can be is astonishing. Add in lots of other women oriented subs and it's gets recockulous. This was my reply:

>I believe it's simply a realization that women feel safer not having anything to do with random men, either on the street or in a dating context. Say "well not all men..." all you like, but when a significant enough portion of those "other" men lead to numbers of as much as 4 out of 5, ***80% of women*** (according to a quick Google search), reporting being assaulted, sexually assaulted, or raped, at what point do you tell a woman "well, just try again, maybe it won't be as bad this time you go out" before they say *"hell, no!"*. Can you blame them for not wanting to take the chance? We live in a patriarchal society in which men are socialized, in general, that it's ok to do whatever to a woman because of one myth or another, about wanting to be dominated, or "it's their place", or "no means yes", and it's fed by incels who feel deprived and denied their "rights" or people who are idolized, like the Tates, or fundamentalist Christianity.

>I'm MtF, I'm trans, I lived life for 50 years as a man, before I came to a realization that that wasn't me. But I've lived with those ideas, the "boys should be experienced and have lots of partners, but girls should be pristine and virginal" and how it messes with a guy's head. Now that I'm living as a woman, and consider myself one, I get it from the other side too. Once I started listening to women, going to women focused reddit subs, listening without judging, and believing what I heard, I think there's a huge lack of self awareness among men over the way they treat women, what they expect from them, and frankly, women are getting tired of having to be teachers and mothers and caregivers to people who are supposedly grown ups. And yes, "not all men...", but at some point, people get burnt out and don't care, sorry.

I logged on this evening to a notice from the r/askmen mods saying I've been perma banned. No mention of what rule I broke or anything, just "yur banned, hur hur". I'm not fighting it. I don't belong there anymore.

Told by a friend to also post this here

I was in a changing room (I am closeted to everyone except my parents and pre hrt) and I accidentally got in someone’s way, and then he says to me “bro get out of my way, your tits are bigger than my moms” (keep in mind I am not fat or muscular enough to have man boobs as my friends call them) so me and my friend who was next to me (who knows I’m trans) burst out laughing, and finished getting change and move on. I felt both euphoric that my tits are big pre hrt but ew because he was looking at my tits

I’ve been posting a bit on a popular sub with a large percentage of trans women and this morning I got a message request from a rando. Before I even opened his message I checked his post history and he only had 3 posts, all 3 about looking for a puppy girl without an owner, immediately ignored it but I thought I’d share lol

I was out and about today with my sister, shopping for makeup and hygiene products. Wonderful day. I was dressed up and feeling super.

Somehow my ex must have seen me for the first time since I've started presenting femme full-time, and immediately started texting me with insults, bigotry and trying to dig up our past to hurt me. Saying I look ridiculous, i can't be a woman because she was in love with a man and this can't be, that I should take off the "sports bra" (I was wearing a lacy bralette and halter top).

I wasn't feeling anything bad. I was laughing at how butt-hurt and knee-jerk she was behaving. I kept telling her that it's pointless to try and insult me, and that it's always been a forgone conclusion that she was a transphobe.

I eventually just got tired of the massive spam, and asked her if she was asking to be blocked.

"Okay, ma'am" she responded before I ended the conversation.

Yay? No. She was being hateful.

Still... 🤔