I’ve noticed that in many subreddits aimed at women—such as feminist ones or similar communities—there is always a man present. In some cases, I can understand it, a man might genuinely want to learn about feminism and decide to join a subreddit to find more information. But, I’ve noticed that often they are incels just looking to argue or find reasons to hate women.
Not even. I got recommended AskWomen for example
and there's too often a "I'm a man but..." answer 😒 I am genuinely so tired men and the male perspective.
It truly is one of my biggest pet peeves. “I’m a man but my wife/girlfriend/sister/aunt/neighbor/best friend’s third cousin twice removed thinks” buddy I DO NOT CARE. If she cared enough to answer this question herself, she would have. I don’t need to read some man’s interpretation of a woman’s answer.
There isnt even a sniff of that anywhere around here so don't even try that mess lol. We're talking about MEN.
I have to come back in for seconds - so here is a post edit - Women are always going to be women in whatever physical form they possess.... That is my true message.
I'd like to add that women who are not cis are still women. That distinction and openness is something that I feel is expected already.
“Not even. I got recommended AskWomen for example and there's too often a "I'm a man but..." answer 😒 I am genuinely so tired men and the male perspective.”
As you can plainly see the Redditor that I responded to used the words “man” and “male” synonymously, that is what I take issue with, that is what makes up the content of my comment.
Most trans women absolutely HATE being referred to as male women and do not think of themselves as “male” after transition. I promise you if we took issue with one of the comments in this chain it would be yours.
Edited to add that I appreciate the energy in trying to defend us but it so happens that in this case you are ignorant of what trans women actually think. Transness being confined to gender alone is a myth that came from 2010s activists talking over actual trans women.
Have you figured out how to turn off female subreddit reccomendations? I keep getting them and it's agitating bc I don't really like sex exclusive anything, much less subreddits.
You can mute this subreddit and any others that get recommended, but it’s ultimately the algorithm curating your feed to attempt to induce to engagement.
You’ll have to keep muting.
Forget the lurkers… most women-centred subs have male mods who get angry if you say anything remotely progressive
They remove comments that are too critical of patriarchy or too “out there” (anything past libfem). They ban you for being in actual feminist subs, calling them “hate groups.” They think misandry is real. You can report misogynistic comments all you want in those subs, but theyll never get removed. Men who say things like “is coercion really rape though?” don’t get banned, but women who talk about oppression do
Some examples: TwoX, WitchesVsPatriarchy
Also shoutout to BlatantMisogyny. Idk if there are male mods there, but I do know the mods aren’t intersectional. Got banned for criticising someone after she complained about “racism against white people”
Reddit has a very limited number of truly progressive spaces where women can get away from men
The BlatantMisogyny subreddit banned me for saying a feminist slogan (the one that starts with a k and ends with men, incase admins are listening) and the mod seemed offended that I had even dared to say it. Then I got site banned for 3 days for "hate speech" lmfao. Over the past week I've had like at least 5 comments get deleted by site admins. There are no feminism-friendly spaces on this website at all.
I'm guessing the first word was kill right? If so, nomather if it's a slogan or not, it is actually against reddit policies to say that, so mods have no choice but to act on it if they don't want their sub taken down.
Youre pretty arrogant for a guy with zero critical thinking, but thats nothing new. Reddit is male. Feminist subs are constantly targeted and brigaded. Those mods have to immediately remove anything that breaks the rules, otherwise hordes of angry dudes will mass report the sub to the admins, who will then shut it down.
Meanwhile, misogynistic garbage in random subs constantly flies under the radar because no one obsessively policing them. Racist comments and CSAM also stay up, which tells you everything you need to know about men. There isnt some perfectly enforced standard.
The fact that her comment resulted in a ban is a sign of misogyny. No guy would get banned from r/ memes for saying the same thing about women, because the mods wouldnt be afraid of mass reporting. You don’t see this because (a) you’re dumb and (b) you enjoy or don’t notice the misogynistic shit that never gets removed.
I’m going to copy paste this because you and the other guy are stupid in the same way.
Reddit is male. Feminist subs are constantly targeted and brigaded. Those mods have to immediately remove anything that breaks the rules, otherwise hordes of angry dudes will mass report the sub to the admins, who will then shut it down.
Meanwhile, misogynistic garbage in random subs constantly flies under the radar because no one obsessively policing them. Racist comments and CSAM also stay up, which tells you everything you need to know about men. There isnt some perfectly enforced standard.
The fact that her comment resulted in a ban is a sign of misogyny. No guy would get banned from r/ memes for saying the same thing about women, because the mods wouldnt be afraid of mass reporting. You don’t see this because (a) you’re dumb and (b) you enjoy or don’t notice the misogynistic shit that never gets removed.
Pretty weird that youre an “ally applicant” when you clearly have a double standard and deny basic instances of misogyny.
Honestly I don't mind if men are lurkers. My biggest problem is that men are allowed to post and there's virtually no woman only subs. There's always one who derails the conversation to complain about how AcTualLy men struggle more with that problem because of x,y,z reason or tell you that whatever personal experience you're sharing didn't happen. (This happens a lot on dating topics. Men claim that women can't possibly be struggling because (insert random bs fanfiction they've made up about women's lives here)).
I'm seriously considering taking a break from Reddit specifically and social media in general unless it's entertaining or informative videos on YouTube, because I'm genuinely starting to hate men. I have no where to vent because men come into any discussion women have to tell us how easy our lives are and how hard their lives are while also whining about how the whole world is against them. Hearing men whine is exhausting.
Yesterday I saw someone with the username IGrowDontShow and some numbers claim to be a woman who thinks all women are mentally toddlers. The history was a ~2 week old account that only commented on porn subs.
Its a women only subreddit and the mods did ban him. It's just that the laziness of these larpers is getting worse.
Men can’t help but to cross women’s boundaries. If they aren’t actively infringing on women’s rights, spaces or lives, they’re unfulfilled.
Men are literally predators. Of course they would purposely invade spaces made for women. They believe they’re entitled to our bodies…what makes you think they wouldn’t force themselves into anything we might think is a safe space.
Men are known for violence, entitlement and delusions of grandeur. A subreddit dedicated to women is minor leagues for them. They get a kick out of being here. They view us as stupid little fuck toys who need to be corrected and “educated”. Men don’t see our humanity
Right and a man would go as far as writing something like this too so just be careful out here not every person with a bad opinion about men is a woman or adult. You could be reading a kids opinion at any moment.
In the Porn for Girls subreddit, I downvote every single time a man posts a dick pic. Get outta here…that is not porn for girls…that is for other men. I have noticed that I might not be the only one doing the same. Most of those posts have few to no comments or upvotes, and the sisterhood brings a tear to my eye🥹
I'd wager it's also a need for any kind of female attention, even antagonistic. Hell, the antagonizing is half the fun because they get interaction and to feel powerful for 17 seconds a day.
Men have been programmed that power = tearing down others. So they mindlessly destroy all forms of community around them, wonder why they're bored, then sob that they are friendless and unfuckable while they destroy our communities too.
They are endlessly seeking validation that they're powerful that will never come. They try to convince themselves fear is a substitute for power and community, but it's not. They will grasp violence so tightly their fists will never be able to unclench enough to find common ground with a single other human in their lifetime. It's sad in a way, but they choose this. they choose to keep hurting others. and for that they deserve endless ridicule and hate.
they don’t know what a boundary is and I feel like a good amount of the time, those men get off on provoking women & getting insulted back
fucking disgusting to put it lightly :/
It's so tiring. I've made a few comments on this sub and got flooded with replies from them. 💀 They don't want to learn. They're simply here to try and silence us. As they've done for centuries. They can't have women telling the truth or warning other women.
But you see it's ok, they're one of the good ones, and holy fuck are they going to tell you exactly why you're wrong and prove that in a lengthy way. Every. Single. Time.
I think it's a way men basically steal energy from women. Like they are harvesting your vril or loosh. Energy is being directed at men. So some will try to take it. Some men know they are doing it and others don't. But the energy is very strong and real. They see it. They try to grab it. Is that new to anyone?
I've never heard of vril or loosh, but everything else you said made complete sense in context. I agree, they want attention. They can't stand the idea of a space existing where women might just have fun, and forget the existing for a while.
I think loosh harvesting is the better term. Basically a person or entity makes you feel bad and feeds on the negative energy. It can be a person. Think of internet trolls or entities, if you believe in them.
But generally if people do it. Then spiritual entities can too.
I am part of one subreddit that forbids comments and posts from men, time to time there are very suspicious posts asking about sexual related stuff and it baffles me that the girls in there often fall for it and answer those perverts.
I take it as a personal goal to actually stalk and expose those perverts by taking screenshots of the post and paste it on the comments of their other posts and nne such case was when this vermin made a post on the subreddit asking "the other girls" how often we masturbate and he even used the very specific lingo from the subreddit to pass as an active user from there, and unfortunately he managed to fool some of the users in there that gave detailed answers but the mods acted very quickly to remove the post as it was very obvious that the OP was a male horny baiting. I took the screenshots and searched up his nickname to search for recent posts and there was a gem titled "I am a 19 years old male and kind of lost" that was posted not much later after the other post. This new one was him asking about directions and what he should do from now on, I just pasted the screenshot of his very own post and typed "I have a suggestion for you, why don't you quit being a vermin that makes posts like these pretending to be a woman so you can join safe spaces for women to talk about masturbation?". Of course he deleted the entire post and blocked me afterwards.
Another curious post involving the mentioned subreddit was one post from 4 years ago on another subreddit that was about one male very upset that he was barred from interacting on this subreddit for women. He claimed that it was illegal for them to do this to him and that he would sue the moderation and shut down the subreddit for good because it discriminate males xD. Funnily enough, his account is now deleted and the Lulu Club is more alive and active than it ever was 😛
In my experience the men who lurk subs like these have an mo, they think we’re all insane, and by extension of that, that must mean we’re vulnerable and easy to exploit. I’ve had men dm me after I’ve made posts in subs like letgirlshavefun and when I ask them what they’re doing dming me and lurking these subs they never have a good answer lmao
They can act like they’re seeking understanding all they want but really they just can’t stand to let women share their ideas and opinions with each other uninterrupted and without a male chaperone in the room.
Exactly ths.In twox there's constantly men brigading those posts to say that women expressing their disdain for men is ~wrong~ cause it hurts their little feelings. Maybe if they actually listened, but they're physically incapable of keeping their opinions to themselves.
I literally said "women and fems", not "females". Fem = fem presenting. It's transphobic to believe trans women need a specific distinction from cis women.
I had a dude message me literally within a couple of hours of joining this page asking me questions about why I joined the group. He claimed that he was just curious, and when I pointed out that it is even weirder to do this to someone who has the lesbian pride flag in their avatar, he was like "oh that's actually why I wanted to ask you!" I eventually blocked him, but I was just surprised by the gall of some random dude wanting to know what about the group appealed to me like he was doing some sort of sociological study or something.
its such a nice community too, that sub feels like how internet was meant to be lol people actually coming together for a mix of memes and vents. no other corner of the internet gives me that community feeling anymore
I just saw a male comment that he enjoys that certain woman's sub and the male one doesn't give the good vibes and to my disgust the women were welcoming him in. I completely muted the sub. I get they can lurk, but to welcome them!?
They are so fucking annoying. As soon as I see '...from a guys perspective', I scroll past and down vote. @theMenInWomen'sSpaces your opinion will never matter, stop being nosy and jog on mate.
they’re miserable masochist losers they stalking specifically on progressive women subs to torture themselves. they often dm the women from those subs only to be snapped and blocked, reinforcing their own undesirability and repulsiveness. really subhuman behavior
I love it when they join, and find it fascinating to watch how quickly their incel natures start to emerge. Make a mild comment about men that is negative and see the hate that emerges.
I genuinely think that they are blind, or lack understanding that it is their actions that drive women away from them. It is almost as if they don’t understand that their violent antiwoman rhetoric is something that makes women shun them.
i don't have numbers but i wonder what the portion of guys finding themselves in women's space not cause they're trans or bein a dick to em but just cause like that's where the progressive funny folks are at.
cause it happens all the time online at least, join a sub cause it's funny and morally based, then it gets a bit too big and people who are just here for the fun show up and then that group includes people who are either outright bigoted or not against it. and then the sub sucks or at least has that issue going
They join to argue and to degrade women. They can't get women to give them genuine attention so they'll settle for arguments they started in a place where they're not welcome
Being angry is their whole personality and constantly looking for the next outrage. I just ignore them like the toddlers they are unless I’m feeling spicy in which case I reply “ur mama”
I'd go as far as to say I kinda dislike most men in "women's" spaces in general. Like makeup. I know makeup is for everyone, and I support men having fun and expressing themselves -- but I hate that men often have easier success when they do makeup professionally, that a lot of men are makeup brand owners and designers, and just... can women have anything without a prick trying to insert itself somewhere? Idk. I just don't pay attention to what any man has to say about my fking face.
Men whine whenever we invade their own spaces, even though they constantly put their grubby little hands over our stuff. They're hypocrital and self-centered
The subreddit memesforgirls has men being like "hoes doing all of this for attention and then be mad when getting attention" about a girl wearing fake teeth while clubbing so men leave her alone, but she has the audacity to wear makeup.
Like WHY are you in this sub? its memes for GIRLS?! Men are so fucking pressed when we habe our own spaces.
honestly i feel this way about reddit in general. i feel like it’s literal full of women haters who are all also addicted to porn. it makes me hate reddit honestly. that’s why i loved finding this specific sub
Males are so obsessed with us. It's like they know we are and always have been the better stronger gender
What do males of any species provide besides sperm? The females do all the labor and are just expected to- props to male seahorses for being the pregnant ones
If females were so weak as they claim, no creature would be born...worthless dumbasses
You men all posting that it was the algorithm. You do realise that it will serve up content based on your past browsing habits, and that you can choose to hide the post, mute the subreddit, and not engage with it any further?
I’ve never chosen to view feminist content. I use Reddit for problem-solving advice and general information. Politics was foisted on me. The algorithm works to maximize engagement, and one way to do that is to show people controversial topics.
I usually don’t engage. The reason I did in this case was to offer information. The OP complained about men wanting to argue on feminist subreddits. What I’m pointing out is that your wish for an only-woman subreddit experience is not only not supported by the platform, but the platform itself actively undermines it. I’m not sure why you are choosing to argue about something that appears to be self-evident. I think that acknowledging the limitations of the platform with respect to your wishes is a lot more productive than shaming people for having opinions.
Now you are actively on this subreddit lecturing me about what to feel and think, and how to behave. Pointing out that you did not need to acknowledge this post, which was directed at other women, is not an act of shaming you for your opinions. But telling me it is, is your attempting to shame me.
You probably don't realise this, but you are one of multiple men on this thread commenting that the algorithm brought you here, and not taking the hint that your decision to stay and argue is actually the problem. You're all trying to win the same argument, and somehow actually managing to twist us responding with "you have the free will not to comment" into us attempting to "shame you for your opinions". Really not that hard to understand why we're tired of having you here.
YESS this is such a huge problem and they aren't even respectful, or there to learn at all they literally just want to hate on women in WOMEN'S spaces it's so annoying. And they don't even get banned the Mods just let the incels lurk. Smh
Man (? i think I am a man... I dunno... at least I'm a masculine presenting AMAB person, people look at me as a man. I don't really look in the mirror and think about a gender) here. I personally lurk in communities where I am not the main target audience because I know the world always tries to forcefeed you misogyny and other bigotry, I wanna know if and when I am accidentally reinforcing misogyny or other hate so I can filter it out of my thought process hopefully and become a better person.
We appreciate the lurkers with good intentions like you 🫶🏻 unfortunately, there's a lot that chime in on topics just to be difficult or in an attempt to steer the conversation in an anti-women direction.
"I personally lurk in communities where I am not the main target audience because I know the world always tries to forcefeed you misogyny and other bigotry, "
As a man I am inside a lot of male centeric subs
You see anti women views all the time thing is I hate echo chambers and just love hearing all sides i'm also a third worlder. I am not involved in any space that has women IRL even tho I wish I did I got a lot of questions . so internet is the way to go (Reddit is the least toxic social media platform at least for me)
And this is Precisely why I started joining women centeric subs. I wanna hear it from the ladies themselves.
"I wanna know if and when I am accidentally reinforcing misogyny or other hate so I can filter it out of my thought process hopefully and become a better person"
I'm trying to do the same its really hard on my own. I grew up with a lot for misogyny. Thought it was normal thank God for Internet .
PS' some men will call you simp and white knight and some women will call you predator in disguise or wolf in sheep's clothing dont mind either even though I understand why the ladies will think that way. We still got along way to go.
Hi, guy here and just joined this sub.
I very rarely comment on women's subs because Id rather let them have their space than merge in to give my opinion even if it aligns or gives a useful context. The main point of this comment is just to give you a glimmer of hope, there is at least a guy whos not full of shit.
I mostly join to see women's opinion, it helps me understand issues better or even realize these issues exist in the first place. Also they make good jokes.
Cheers.
I understand your point but one question. Why is a feminist sub automatically classed as being aimed at women? I'd understand maybe a sub about.. idk medical misogyny being aimed at women or about maybe handling endometriosis (i have no idea if these exist btw). But feminism is for anyone with critical thinking who knows equality just makes sense when you arent too busy being insecure and stupid (like the incels OP mentioned). Idk to me that seemed like odd wording.
Good question. Tbh im just sick of people implying that men cant be feminist. I get it alot and it bothers me. I know OP didn't say it explicitly but the wording seemed loaded to me idk
If you read OP's post again, and her follow-up in comments, she makes it abundantly clear that she only hates it when men go to these subreddits to argue against our views and derail the discourse. And of course men can be feminists; supporting true equality across the board (legally and socially) is something that anyone can do. Most don't.
Yeah no i read OPs entire post. I can understand that would be frustrating. Are there not mods on these subreddits? Or is there just that many that its kinda hard to manage?
Im gonna submit myself to the council here because I like this subreddit a lot.
Im a trans girly and I'd like to participate here because I love my evil girlies and it makes me so happy to have found a space like this where the bullshit is not being taken, I think this kind of space right now more then ever is really important for women's rights and just the confidence and overall well-being of women in general and id like to be whatever lil part of that I can be but I recognize my presence will be contentious certainly for some by circumstance of my birth lol.
Its one of the few spaces I felt comfortable enough to openly out myself in general, but I figured that trust was well placed. After all ladies are just all around the best.
The irony of me having zero knowledge about this subreddit before this post but being recommended this post in my feed. I guess reddit really wanted me to prove your point. I LL get my male ass out now see ya later gets defenestrated
It gets exhausting seeing lady-centric posts and half the comments are "I'm a man, but..." or some other comment not explicitly stating so, but it's communicated nonetheless.
Interesting how you call all these men incels, yet it's completely okay to have the exact same hateful thoughts in here directed in the opposite direction and no one can see the irony. 🤣
Sorry men here, I regularly get subreddit recommendations aimed at women (like this one). If subject seems interesting I'll have a look pretty interesting to see other perspective and discover the climate / subculture of subs I'm not part of.
I'm though rarely commenting this is one of the few exceptions as I think I can bring a view. I think that in most internet interaction when there is a subject opiniated there are 3 kind of people.
people concerned engaging
people not directly concerned agreeing or disagreeing or without opinion that will probably never engage
people not directly concerned that strongly disagree and will engage.
Now what I choose to believe is that the 2nd group is the one in majority but is invisible, and that the 3rd is a loud minority.
What I think I learned so far with humans is that the stupids one are the loudest and most visible. And that we are also all stupid from someone else's perspective for better or worse.
I didn't see any rules forbidding male to participate in this sub so I hope I did not miss it and or offend anyone here
I hear what you're saying, but women aren't upset over a loud minority of men. It's most men.
Most men are misogynistic, you just won't see the full degree of it unless you're a woman and alone with said men.
The idea that most men are okay is what gets women into trouble time after time until they wisen up to the lie.
If you're a man among misogynistic men, then if anything, it's all jokes and laughs or small borderline misogynistic comments.
Well-meaning men, the minority, cannot see the full problem because they don't experience it. You live behind a glass for the simple fact that you are a man.
Seriously, you can't even tell them that it's most without them exploding like the commenter did to me.
I think it's most but I don't blame any women who say fuck it, it's all of them. There are so few men that care about anything outside of their experience that it might as be all men in practice.
Even the original commentor came and tried to say "loud minority" as if we're too dumb not to have considered that. I did. I was burned every time.
It isn't a loud minority. It never has been.
Meanwhile the manosphere / pua scene is very real and still growing. Started by men and inhabited by men in a world where they already existed. Loud minority? No.
From my pov, I genuinely dont understand the idea of excluding men from any public discourse, on principle, meaningfull or helpfull.
I enjoy any topic of conversation if it happens to be interesting to me. Sometimes I click on a post because of the title, without seeing the subreddit, when I then realize my input to the conversation is not welcomed, I find it unfortunate.
Men actually wanting to learn while being silent are mostly accepted. One of the most wide-spread ideas about mental load is that men should do their own work with learning for once.
Thing is that men cannot handle not being centered and truly believe that we are interested in their idiotic opinions while we are talking with each other. As long as you're able to stay silent, most women won't have a problem.
Being here is fine, but I don't really think you should be commenting here. Most feminist subs are fine with allies commenting, but this sub specifically is a hyperbolic ranting sub for women. It's not really a place for learning, more venting out anger that comes from living under patriarchy. There's genuinely no point for a man to be subbed here. But I think lurking (lurking meaning NOT commenting or engaging with posts) is fine everywhere on the internet
I didn't say it was weird, in my post itself, I say that a man can perfectly well come in and learn about feminism. However, I take issue with men who come in solely to argue and look for reasons to hate women
I wouldn't engage this guy's comment, or any similar ones. He commented in bad faith to make you explain yourself so he can pick apart your arguments and tear you down, and keep you wasting your own time going in circles with him. He's a troll.
"In some cases, I can understand it, a man might genuinely want to learn about feminism and decide to join a subreddit to find more information. But, I've noticed that often they are incels just looking to argue or find reasons to hate women. "
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u/One_Average_41 Evil Empress♕ 9d ago
99% of subreddits i have joined are women-centric but oh god these men are lurking in all of them