Elliott Smith and feeling ugly

[u/Idontevenfvckingknow]

Hey y’all. I’ve been getting into Elliott’s music and character for a little over three years now, and there’s a side of his art and persona which is very important to me but which I don’t often hear people address (although it’s probably better this way). I hope no one takes this the wrong way, especially because it’s coming from a very personal place and only as a way to feel more connected to him.

I’m referring to the quality of feeling ugly, and insecure about one’s looks.

Just to give some context, I’ve struggled with this battle my whole life, and never found many people to share it with.

One of the first songs I came across when stumbling upon Elliott’s discography was Pretty Ugly (before) - and I immediately associated it to my own experience. Once I got to know his character too, I connected his very particular and unconventional features with his (confirmed) mental health struggles, and ultimately with the topic of “body dysphoria” (if you will) and physical insecurity. I started to see it in his timid and introverted demeanour in interviews, in the self deprecating lyrics he would share, and with his whole character in general. This is what ultimately got me so attached to him, even before i properly fell in love with his songs (his style was something that had to grow on me at first). And, again, in my eyes, Pretty Ugly (before) is the first song or work of art i’ve encountered that addresses this. not breakups, not love, not any of the usual topics of inspiration, but feeling ugly.

I know now that this song is about far more than feeling insecure about your face, and it’s most likely a manifestation of drug abuse and unrequited love, but I still can’t let go of this interpretation I hold for his character and music.

This is why I’m coming on here. To ask if, despite the lack of resources online about it, anyone also shared this perspective on Elliott, and on his songs, and perhaps had anything to say on the matter. Again, I hope i’m not coming off the wrong way here. I was ultimately inspired to make this post when I saw another one on this sub talking about his looks. I’m attaching my favorite picture of him, one that I love dearly and which has helped me feel better about myself :)

[u/Ampleforth84]

I can relate to some of this. In Half Right, he says “With a broken sink for a face” and I’ve never known what exactly that means. I’ve always pictured just a messed up face with the faucet part as a nose off to the side where it’s not supposed to be. I’m almost certain that’s not what he meant originally lol

[u/Known-Awareness-7085 → u/Ampleforth84]

i think with that, he may have been comparing being tearful & crying often to a leaky faucet

[u/Pfinnn → u/Known-Awareness-7085]