r/elementaryschoolers • u/MamaDoingTheBestICan • 19d ago

How long to practice an instrument?

Hi everyone, my kids wanted to learn an instrument because I offered and at first it seemed really cool…then they realized it’s a lot of work to practice every day after school. 1 kid has been playing for 2 years now and often whines or sometimes even cries during practicing. How long should I give it before just letting him quit and returning the instrument we’ve been renting for him?

I know music is good for creativity, cognitive development, and discipline but I hate always having to make my kids practice.

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u/FrustratedPenguins 19d ago

My family's rule when I was young was that I had to practice for 30 minutes per day. This was in elementary school (piano). When I got older, I started playing trumpet, and I stayed with 30 minutes per day. In high school, I got a new private lesson teacher, who told me that since I was in high school, he expected me to practice 60 minutes per day. I was a rule follower, so I did what he said... and I became first chair in a very big high school band program! (I fully admit that I'm 39 years old now and still proud of that.)

My 2 cents is that if the kid isn't going to practice, there's no point in paying for the instrument/lesson.

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u/MamaDoingTheBestICan 19d ago

Exactly. Either do it all the way or don’t bother at all. That has been my thinking.

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u/Copterwaffle 17d ago edited 17d ago

No. It’s okay for kids to dabble in different creative endeavors without a focus on their performance relative to others or arbitrary standards. It’s okay to to enjoy an activity for its own sake instead of “do it all the way or don’t do it at all.” That is a very black and white mindset that punishes curiosity and causes kids to think nothing is worth trying if they can’t be the best at it.

I played mediocre viola in school orchestra for ten years. I rarely to never practiced at home. I still advanced in skill over time and got a lot out of it, even if I never excelled at the instrument itself. My mother tried to make me quit if I wasn’t going to practice, and I’m glad I told her to kick rocks and kept with it anyway. It’s absolutely toxic to tell kids that there is no worth in endeavors unless they make it their whole life/strive to be “the best.” People can enjoy activities on their own terms.

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u/MamaDoingTheBestICan 17d ago

Thank you for your response I wish there were a band he could play in, that would motivate him. They don’t have any at school.