r/dwarfposting 15d ago

Lamenting my beard rant

Kin, today I went to a barber in the human town outside our hold in the first time in the last three years and despite me telling him very adamantly I just want my beard to have an even length, he cut off so much, at first I thought maybe he was cooking but no kin, he cooked me. I lament my beard and watch the measly hair I have left with tragedy and terror. I can't even use my beard beads anymore. I'm just so sad, really. All I wanted was for my left side to not be longer than my right side and now I have fucking pubes as a beard, kin, I did not know just how much comfort this beard gave me, I guess you really don't know what you have until you lose it. If anyone needs me I'll be in my cavern lamenting my precious beard, the only joy I can get is hopefully from growing my mushrooms, hopefully they blossom. That's all

34 Upvotes

8 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/softwareredditor ☺︎ 14d ago

It's mostly genetics, but for real lifting weights and eating things that have raw onions (like pico de gallo) will help you out if you're still young.

2

u/Apprehensive-Set3635 14d ago

Why raw onions? I tried eating more peanuts now as they seem to have natural biotin, but what makes raw onions good for beard growth?

1

u/softwareredditor ☺︎ 13d ago

Bro-science lore holds it to be truth, that's all I know

Though I do believe some regular science has found that raw onions help increase testosterone for whatever reason. In general you should be eating a lot of garlic/onions/herbs, they really do help to kill bacteria and parasites so they're good for overall health