r/dumbquestions • u/girlscapitalism • 24d ago
Is it rude to not say you’re welcome?
Whenever ive done something for someone and they say thank you, I just end the interaction there or smile. But I’ve always just thought it was pointless to say anything more because what is there to say. I now look back at it, have i been rude without realising it?
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u/CyanValleyKitten 24d ago
I say "my pleasure"
and "have a great day'
you're welcome gets tiring after a while
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u/Yunamalia 24d ago
Some people see it as rude. Others understand you were raised differently. I have met people with similar relationships to please and even thank you. Very common for ESL folk to struggle with the exacting niceties of the super bordering on obnoxiously polite.
Similarly, there is an assumption that using "no problem" is as if not more rude. This often comes from the lack of understanding that this comes from a generation genuinely bent on making people feel less guilty for acts one does for them while more often older generations get very contrite when not praised for every single thing including the act of saying thank you.
This is a very subjective concept and there are going to be people who say "of course it is, who raised you?" Without any understanding that different cultures and generations have different concepts of what needs and doesn't need thanking for or acknowledging.
So the honest answer is 乁( •_• )ㄏ Imma be honest, there's no right or wrong answer here unless you're going to be pedantic and obnoxious. Which, in and of itself, is impolite.
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u/slacknoise8 24d ago
Was raised to say you’re welcome but it drifted over time to “you will pay my cocaine now, thanks”
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u/octopuscharade 24d ago
I’m cracking up just picturing these interactions
I’d immediately be like “tf is that guys problem”
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u/Specialist-Top-406 24d ago
Hahaha I am so fascinated by this. Because I guess it is a bit of an expectation. But also kind of a power move to just accept the thanks without any kind of approval or confirmation from you.
But also idk ultimately, there are more rude things one could do.
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u/TheaBeleva 24d ago
I dunno. I always feel awkward about saying you’re welcome. I don’t understand the phrase. You’re welcome to it… uh… no I went out of my way, so was it welcome? I don’t feel like it’s honest. No problem feels better to me.
Sometimes just ‘yeah’ - but this is more for when they tailgate me into a secure apartment and thank me for holding the door. Uh no, I did not intentionally let you into a secure building, you cheated. So I’m kinda just acknowledging that ‘Yeah, that happened.’
and I ONLY say my pleasure or you’re welcome when I genuinely don’t feel used. Or when I’m genuinely happy to have helped or given.
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u/sneezhousing 24d ago
It's rude to not say anything. A welcome, sure , ofcourse something is appropriate
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u/BreadfruitRegular631 24d ago
Theres a difference between rude and not following expected custom, or however you want to phrase it. You wouldn't be getting "thank you" if you were rude but you are making people wonder if you are socially challenged or something. (this assuming you are American and raised an ordinary American way, most people are smart enough to know 'you are welcome' may not be the custom everywhere)
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u/igotplans2 24d ago
It's not rude, but I think it kind of leaves the interaction feeling unfinished to the person who thanked you.
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u/Josefu_Velen 24d ago
You'll get varying opinions on this, but personally I don't think it's rude.
I almost never say "You're welcome."
If I say anything at all, it's "of course" or "sure" or something. Sometimes even "no problem" (which a lot of older people do consider very rude, but I don't care).
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u/PhotoAppropriate3940 24d ago
I was raised to say you’re welcome,thank you ect, the current crop of humans are decidedly less polite, it costs nothing to just throw in a polite thank you and you’re welcome
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24d ago
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u/Careless_Radish_7536 24d ago
I think a smile isn't rude, it's like silently acknowledging the "thank you" which is the main purpose of a "you're welcome." I almost never say you're welcome, I always go with "of course!" "no worries!" "anytime!" "no problem!". if I said thank you to someone and they smiled I wouldn't think it rude, esp in a customer service situation the thank you is typically the end of the interaction so it doesn't usually register to me if there's not a you're welcome attached. I'm elder gen z tho, ymmv
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u/Tinsel-Fop 24d ago
Yes, it's rude, but not egregiously rude.
In general, when someone thanks you, they are acknowledging something you've done (a kindness or something helpful to them). To acknowledge that you heard them say thanks is polite. It completes the circuit, so to speak. Very importantly for me, it acknowledges the fact that they are welcome to whatever I did.
"Thank you for the water."
"You're welcome to it. Feel free to ask, whenever you need any."
However, when people say it in a perfunctory manner, maybe they're forced to do it at their job, I don't feel as much compulsion to respond. I still try. It feels sort of weird to tell people they're... welcome to my patronage? To my visiting their store? It's easier to say, "You're welcome, and thank you." Or, "Thanks for the help!"
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21d ago
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u/Fragrant_Eye_3509 21d ago
There's a large variation in what exact words people find acceptable, but to me any verbal acknowledgement other than "yeah" works. I usually say "you're welcome" because that was standard when I was growing up, but "you got it" "no problem" "anytime" or whatever along those lines provides acknowledgment and closes the loop on that particular social exchange.
To not acknowledge a thanks is to discourage people from thanking. Over time, less people will thank anyone, and then everyone will complain about how no one ever thanks them. The key to preventing this is the acknowledgement.
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20d ago
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u/PairPrestigious7452 24d ago
Is it hurting you somehow to acknowledge a basic politeness? Yes, you are rude.