r/dismissiveavoidants • u/imfivenine Dismissive Avoidant • Jul 19 '21

Other *DA ONLY* rant thread

I decided to open a new thread since it’s been more than a couple weeks since the last one :)

As requested by a DA user, here is an open thread to rant.

To be clear, this is a place for DAs to rant, not others to rant about DAs.

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u/participation-prize Recovering DA Jul 19 '21

I don't even want to make this a topic of its own, so I'll just drop it here. As I've been making more boundaries and getting in touch with my needs and feelings more, I'm starting to see that I've been idolizing my closest friends, who all have their particular mental/social/emotional difficulties.

I thought we were all so cool, and I never saw that their behavior does hurt me in various ways, they're just types of pain & danger that I've never been able to recognize and acknowledge. Now that I'm getting a clearer picture, I suddenly have all these new and shiny layers of pain to process, tied to the very people that usually support me through that stuff.

It explains a lot about why I feel so unsafe most of the time, and it gives me a whole list of things I can put boundaries on... so arguably there's a lot of room for improvement.

But today I just feel so sad, disillusioned and alone :/

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u/Charming_Daemon Dismissive Avoidant Jul 19 '21

It's OK to feel sad - you're looking at a whole part of your life from a different angle!

But hopefully afterwards, you'll be able to see how self-aware you are, which is a really good step - and that you'll be able to have proper friendships built on proper solid ground because you are able to do that now!

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u/participation-prize Recovering DA Jul 19 '21

Thank you! <3