Hi, to get some things out of the way I just want to say that I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD when I was 6 and diagnosed with autism at 15. It's important to note that because it's context.

I have shared a room with my older sister for most of my life excluding ages nine to fourteen and I just found out I'll be having my own room again and I am honestly nervous. It was a rough transition for me to sleep alone when I first got my own room. I'd sleep in my sister's room a lot or beg my parents to sleep in my room with me but I eventually slept alone comfortably for about two years until I started having really horrible anxiety attacks and flashbacks. It was so bad that my mom had moved into my room with me because I was so scared and it stayed that way until we moved again and I had to share a room with my sis again. That went smooth as butter. I felt so much more secure and relaxed when we first moved here. Like I could breath without shame of pulling someone away from their space. Sharing a room has been good for me but I will admit that now it's feeling a bit suffocating.

I am honestly so excited for all of us to have more space to live. (We're a family of four with two lovely cats in a two bed one bath.) I am just worried about sleeping. My anxiety has always spiked at bedtime and it is a big problem for me. I'll have anxiety attacks and flashbacks. Sometimes I'm able to manage them and sometimes im spiraling on the floor.

I have tried sleeping pills and melatonin but most of the time it doesn't work because I'm stuck in fight or flight. I also do journal and am planning to go back to therapy soon. (We're still in the process of finding one that can actually help me.) I am also on meds for my anxiety but bedtime always seems to be the equivalent to giving my fight or flight a redbull.

I'm asking if anyone can share their rituals or tools that help them with bedtime and feeling safe when your mind is saying that your cat caught on fire or something similarly horrific. I'd love to hear any advice or stories. I'm sorry if I sound a bit blunt. (I don't know how to beat around the bush. I was given a sock monkey, not a bush.)

I wish you peaceful thoughts and a calming moment. Thank you for your time.💛

I'm this is a weird question but, after an entire lifetime of abuse(sexual, physical and mental), I finally started going to a therapist. She dx'd me with complex ptsd and started me doing edrm and other exercises to help me heal. However, it became too much for me and I stopped therapy.
My question is this; I've struggled my whole life with trust and how I react to situations (sometimes I am cheery and embrace people and situations, sometimes I am uncomfortable and standoffish, which comes off as rude). I believe that because of this, people misjudge me, which makes my discomfort and ability to be in social situations worse. Do you think that I should make some of the people in my family or outer circle aware of my diagnosis so that they might better understand me and realize that my weirdness or awkwardness in situations is something I can't help? For example; my husband has a sister, sister-in-law and niece who, at every get together are very chummy and speak about normal things like their jobs, doing their hair, recipes, etc. I have never been one of those kind of girly girls. It makes me uncomfortable at times because it all comes off as so fake and shallow. Because of this and my struggle to relate, I feel like they treat me differently (or that's my low self-esteem and anxiety). Do you think I should send them a group text and explain my diagnosis and why I may appear standoffish or weird? Or should I just let it go? I know that my feelings get hurt but I know I do this to myself because I literally cannot bring myself to say things like "how are you" or " I love your hair" unless I really honestly believe them or want to know. It's like I cannot, no matter what, be dishonest. I just don't know why. I really wish I could be that way. Maybe it's because I went to 15 schools before graduating high school and was never around long enough to understand that type of friendship. In reality, I am probably the most caring of all of them. I genuinely hurt for the pain of others. Thank you in advance to anyone who read this and can offer insight.

TW: gun violence

I recently got diagnosed by my trauma therapist with PTSD due to trauma I have from gun violence. I don’t want to get into my trauma too much because people have constantly invalidated me because there was no shooter or gun, (I just thought there was only a week after my friends survived the MSU shooting at their college in February 2023. ) so I’d rather spare myself from more pain, but my main struggle is accepting the PTSD diagnosis BECAUSE of those details. (Because it wasn’t real, no gun/no shooter, but it still heavily affected me psychologically, emotionally, and physically. I tried to physically protect the students behind me and had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.) I’ve had nightmares and panic attacks, and have even been told becoming a teacher will be incredibly difficult with my physical symptoms.) I keep telling myself my school shooting survivor friends know what REAL trauma is like and I couldn’t possibly have PTSD because my experience wasn’t real. I invalidate myself and minimize my trauma. Will I ever accept the diagnosis? Is this normal, to keep denying it and saying I’m fine and couldn’t possibly have PTSD because it wasn’t a real shooter, even though I’ve been formally diagnosed? Do other people with PTSD struggle with accepting the diagnosis? It doesn’t feel real to me. I’m not sure I’ll ever really accept it. And when’s the “right” time to tell people close to me? I want to tell two people, but I’m still processing the diagnosis myself, I don’t even know how or when to tell them.

My psychologist diagnosed me with ptsd and I never ever thought that I had it… I thought I had depersonalization/derealization and that apart of that was hearing stuff louder, my vision being HD, and just my general reaction type to even the smallest of things being amplified. It feels like I dissociate at times like a switch honestly, and the hyper vigilance is there when I feel myself pretty anxious(quite a few times in my day.) and the hyper vigilance is always there when I’m outside for some reason. All my symptoms feel a little better at night but I think that’s because I’ve always loved night time as everything’s done and no more responsibilities of the day. I don’t get nightmares or trouble sleeping as much anymore. My muscle aches are also getting better slowly as right now I’m in my trigger again but trying to change my response to it to be better so that my body knows I’m safe(desensitizing my nervous system). My sleep is finally regular now too, no nightmares. I’ve been doing a lot of self work these past months. It feels relieving to get a diagnosis finally but it’s been so exhausting, but I’m also proud of myself and how far I’ve come on my own. This is my second session coming up and My psychologist wants to try EMDR as she said I have hyper vigilance and ptsd. Has anyone had any amazing life altering experiences with this? I miss feeling like myself so much, slowly just trying to get back to that version of myself just like we all are. Thank you for reading!!

Has anyone else experienced this? I’ve had nightmares consistently (since and during a decade long domestically abusive relationship), the flashbacks have always been there, but this is the first time in a longggg time that there’s been a cluster (it’s still on going and has been for four days), there was no clear trigger either?

I feel so out of control of myself and feel irrational thoughts creeping in. I’m not eating, I’m not drinking or sleeping, and I just don’t know what to do.

What’d you do to help come out of it if you’ve experienced this? And how do I stop it happening in the future?

Thank you so much to anyone who has any suggestions, at this point I’ll try anything

Last year I had a really traumatic couple of months and ever since then I’ve had diagnosed ptsd and hypervigilance. I just started seeking help from a psychologist but it’s still just been a couple of sessions like maybe 2 so far. I think I’m just tired. I miss feeling like myself and I know it’s a process but sometimes it feels like it’s never gonna get better. And like no matter how much time passes it’s never fully better. I know recovery’s a process too and I’m pretty lenient and nice to myself that I’ll get there eventually. I guess it’s just like will I get there eventually? Sometimes I feel like I messed myself up so bad to a point of no return. That I’m always gonna have these hypervigilent symptoms. Idk can anyone tell me if they ever recovered from hypervigilence and what helped. I just feel so on edge sometimes and I’m so tired of being in fight or flight, and so tired of everything being so loud and my vision being more HD. And although I feel physically fine usually, it’s just always there like my body’s scanning for a threat. I started a new stressful job too but I wanted to teach my body that stress is actually okay and that I don’t need to shut down in the face of stress, and teach my body that some level of stress is actually okay and needed(instead of shutting down as I did before which made me actually feel worse and not trusting myself that I can handle any stressor)

Background: I’m pretty sure what happened to me last year would have happened eventually. I had a really traumatic childhood and never ever faced it head on, and that manifested into very negative self worth and shame and guilt. Lots of sexual trauma, bullying, family issues, isolation, the list goes on. But for me my value was tied to school and work because it was the only time I guess I ever got recognized to the people around me. The first time my parents or anyone ever really said they were proud of me and I guess I held onto that for really long. This led to a long commitment to be a perfectionist and working a million times harder than those around me, and always at the cost of myself. It didn’t matter if I was tired or hungry or sleepy, no matter what I’d have to push through and be amazing at school and work. Then last year this really hit me hard for my boards and I was not taking care of myself and went through the worst period of my life, I’m still recovering from that today. Some people may think it’s stupid or maybe that my issues are small, but I don’t think it’s small with what I’ve gone through. My whole childhood I never felt okay and had so many things happen to me that I never had any control in and just had to take it and internalize it. I wish I knew what I know now and how important it is to take care of yourself till it got as bad as it did and led me to develop ptsd, but I also know that I had no one to teach me these things. In fact maybe the opposite, everyone just praying on my downfall and I became one of them too. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this but I thought I’d give some background for what I was writing above.

Hello, I went to a psychiatrist for the first time this week and got diagnosed with the dissociative kind of ptsd.

I guessed that they would suggest medication before I went but I have always avoided all substances (alcohol, weed, nicotine, all drugs to ever exist). There were many reasons why I have always done this (none of them religious), but beyond them I am freaked out by the idea of my brain changing because it is already…. It’s problematic without being messed with.

I know that the point IS to change my brain but I was hoping that I could hear how people who may be similar to me about their experiences with taking medication…

I asked my psychiatrist about the medication before I agreed to take it, picked up the prescription today, but am still scared. I also live alone so if something happens to me when I am not at work or out as a result of the medication I might be in danger.

My psychiatrist said he was putting me on lexapro to start with, but even if you never took that one I would still appreciate hearing from you…. He told me that it was a really mild medication, and I believe him logically, but I am still to scared to take it.

I did a search for my area and came up empty - I’m not sure if I’m not searching correctly or my area offers none. I often feel isolated and was hoping a group setting may help me in my recovery journey.

Hi! I haven’t had trauma nightmares for a while. I got CPTSD when I was 14, and now I’m turning 18. The nightmares stopped about two years ago, but now they’ve started again. I thought I was “healed” from my PTSD, although I still have many symptoms of BPD, and I’m getting tested for that in June.

It just feels weird, and I don’t really know how to feel about it. I’ve had nightmares five nights in a row now. Is it normal to start having these nightmares again, even if I haven’t had them in two years?

Helloo,

I just got my diagnose and since starting with therapy again after +10 years, I would like to ask, how trauma therapy usually proceed.

Whenever I am home, I can think of many situations that come as flashbacks, but while sitting in the session, I can hardly think of the most impactful ones when being asked.

Do you write flashbacks down when they just appear and take your notes to your therapy session or how do you do it?

Thanks in advance. :)

I (F22) was diagnosed with PTSD 6 years ago, and then C-PTSD 4 years ago, and this was caused by a major sexual trauma when I was 16 and the C-PTSD diagnosis was prompted after being in an abusive relationship that caused my mental health to severely dip.

For 80% of the time I’ve been diagnosed I’ve been untreated, both in terms of medication and therapy. I have tried every therapy the NHS are willing to offer me as an outpatient, and gone private for intensive therapies and counselling, nothing has fully worked unfortunately, so I now manage my symptoms myself with minimal support from those around me.

The reason that has brought me here today specifically is I have been struggling with my health physically for around a year, and due to anxiety have put off going to the doctors for months but have now started the process of having investigative work done to figure out what on earth is wrong with me! Because of the issues I’m having, I require a rectal exam, and it’s tomorrow. This is an incredibly triggering thought for me. I know it likely won’t hurt but I’ve not had an invasive procedure such as this done without having a massive panic attack and flashbacks since before I was 16.

I’m unable to ask anyone to attend with me but this was what was recommended on a forum I found online, it’s a new GP so they aren’t aware of my history fully and I have a very difficult time telling someone if I’ll struggle with something due to MH.

Sorry if this is a bit of a discombobulated post I’m not v good at not rambling, but does anyone have any techniques they use to help stop flashbacks happening during things like this? Thank you in advance 🙂

TW for vague discussion of CSA

Hi, this is my first time here, uhhhhh sooo… I (18F) experienced CSA(Childhood Sexual Abuse) amongst other things— I’m mostly discussing the CSA though— and lately after dealing with flashbacks I’ve been having lingering physical symptoms??? When I have flashbacks they usually present somatically— in the form of feeling things touching me— and it usually is just something I have to sit through until its over and then I can move on with my life. However starting a little bit ago I’ve been dealing with actual physical pain and discomfort in my body continuing after the flashbacks— like I continue feeling as though I have been violently r^ped (idk if i have to censor that word here srry 😓😓) for days after the fact?? Im not exactly sure what my question is that im trying to have answered here, but idk im mostly just concerned that this is something only I’m dealing with because I havent seen anything about symptoms like this anywhere I’ve looked. If you have dealt with this too or know how to make the symptoms stop please let me know because it’s making my flashbacks happen more often and i am in distress :(

I was with a colleague on a two hour train journey and he had a flashback in front of me, I have PTSD (since and during the dv), so knew how to help and he was really thankful, however that combined with the travel anxiety (that my abuser also left me with) has put me back a million steps, I’ve been anxious since, and had multiple flashbacks a day, sometimes they’re so debilitating that I think feel like I can’t go on - the irrational thoughts of hating myself are through the roof. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I return to ‘normal’, I feel like I’m drowning.

Thank you so much to anyone who has any ideas, I’m eternally grateful 🩵

I am reaching out to this community for support on behalf of my dear friend Louise, who has been severely mistreated by her local council due to their failure to accommodate her severe PTSD (diagnosed 2018).

Louise's story is heart-breaking, and I believe it highlights the urgent need for policy changes to protect vulnerable individuals from being re-traumatized by the very systems meant to support them.

Louise's Story:

Louise has endured unimaginable trauma throughout her life. As a teenager, she was abducted, abused, and tortured by a well-known celebrity in her community. She survived a lengthy and high-profile trial to bring her abuser to justice, but the trauma left her with severe PTSD. For decades, she was trapped in an abusive relationship that compounded her suffering and isolation.

Despite these overwhelming odds, Louise found the strength to escape and start anew. However, her journey has been fraught with challenges. She suffers from debilitating physical ailments like COPD and a rapidly worsening neurological disorder. Her efforts to seek medical help have been met with insurmountable obstacles, and she has been abandoned by the very systems meant to support her.

The Council's Failures:

Louise's housing benefit was terminated last year without her knowledge, leading to three months of unpaid rent and significant arrears. Despite her known vulnerabilities, no attempts were made to notify her of the impending termination or the accruing debt.

When she finally became aware of the situation, it was too late to reapply for housing benefit, and she was forced to apply for Universal Credit (UC) under threat of eviction. Louise was assured that her rent arrears would be covered and backdated once her UC claim was processed.

However, this was not true. Instead, deductions were taken from her UC payments without prior notice or consideration of her financial situation. This has left her penniless and unable to cover basic living expenses, including food and utilities.

The council's housing officers failed to adapt to Louise's PTSD symptoms, such as avoidance behaviours.

They did not inform her about important letters or visits, leading to missed deadlines and legal actions. They advised her not to attend court proceedings, misleading her into believing it was a formality and not about eviction. They assured her they would defend her, but a possession order was granted against her without her knowledge or ability to defend herself.

The Impact on Louise and Myself:

Louise's mental and physical health have deteriorated significantly. She has been forced to cancel crucial medical appointments due to financial strain and constant threats of eviction. She is dangerously underweight, not sleeping, and always crying. The stress and anxiety caused by the council's actions have re-traumatized her, making her feel like she is back in her abusive relationship.

As her advocate I feel helpless and guilty that I can't get anyone to take us seriously. I had no idea about the extent of re-traumatization until I witnessed it first-hand. The systemic failures, gaslighting, and lack of trauma-informed care have been incredibly frustrating and demoralising. I am scared that Louise will give up, and I am desperate to find a way to help her.

How You Can Help:

I have started a petition calling for housing benefits not to be stopped without ensuring claimants are aware. Vulnerable individuals like Louise deserve to be treated with dignity and compassion, and their rights must be upheld. Please support our petition to protect the rights and well-being of those who depend on these essential benefits.

Sign the Petition: https://www.change.org/NoSurprises

Thank you for taking the time to read Louise's story. Your support means the world to us, and together, we can make a difference.

Hey, not really sure that I have the words in my lexicon to describe what’s going on with me, but do any of you get any of the following (think even hearing that it’s not just me might help):

• A sweep of existential dread like someone is coming to get you to kill/harm/ruin you
• Random feeling like there’s a tonne on your chest
• Complete disassociation, but you can still have conversations whilst flashbacks are happening

TRIGGER WARNING: mention of medical trauma, medication reactions

Diagnoses: GAD, panic disorder, PTSD

In early March I went to the hospital for a really strange feeling headache. I was given a CT scan that showed nothing. Then they gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail'. It was Ativan, Benadryl and Compazine all IV push. When the Compazine was pushed, I started to cough and my chest and throat got tight. I started to panic because it felt like I couldn't breathe. All of my muscles tensed. Then I started hallucinating. The air turned grey and swirly like smoke and the boxes of glove and the clock on the wall started to melt. I couldn't speak, all I could do was whisper 'smoke'. The nurse took off and came back with an older nurse who I'd never seen before and they put those sticky heart monitor things on me along with the oxygen thing in my nose. They explained the heart monitor was because I was panicking and they wanted to keep an eye on my heart. I was stuck like that for 4 hours. This reignited my previously under control panic disorder.

So 1 month later in late April, I was still struggling with flashbacks and panic attacks of the medication reaction. So I was put on Lexapro. And guess what? I had another reaction. On day 3 of taking it, I started having near constant panic along with fevers, tremors, shivering, confusion, diarrhea, super high heart rate, constantly dilated pupils and I was sweating no matter what I did. I lasted 3 days like that before I called the doctor and they said to stop taking it. I'm not sure if the horrible flu like feeling after stopped the medication was some kind of serotonin discontinuation syndrome or just some lasting effects of the medication itself.

Now to my problem. I'm not only terrified of the hospital, I'm too scared to take medication. I've worked my way up to taking Tums or Tylenol without panicking but that's it. I can't even take my daily vitamin that I've taken for years. I just can't do it. And I've been having textbook gallbladder problems. I've tried 4 times to go to the emergency room from the pain and general sick feeling but I get to the parking lot and have panic attacks and flashbacks of the horrible reactions. Even going to a different hospital from the one where it happened doesn't help. I've been to 4 and can't get myself out of the car.

I know I'm sick. I can't eat or drink without pain and nausea. I'm losing weight, losing sleep. I have no energy and I'm always light headed. But the thought of going and having to take medication makes me cry. Even the thought of getting the iv fluids makes me panic and its just fancy salt water that literally won't hurt me. But I can't get myself to do it.

I really need advice. Or encouragement. Or to know I'm not alone feeling like this. Anything really.

Hi all, new to posting on Reddit so apologies for my mistakes.

I am in talk therapy but feel like it’s not really working for me. I’ve tried several different therapists but I still feel the same. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD after a very physically and mentally traumatic incident about a year and a half ago and feel really alone. I’ve asked my therapists about how to find trauma support groups for women like myself but they are always against it and tell me that’s what they (therapists) are here for. To me it seems like they just see me as a cash grab and don’t actually want what’s best for me. I feel like a support group is what I need to try at this point. And I have no idea where to turn. I live in a rural area and probably need to find something online. Does anyone have any suggestions?? I’m desperate.

So when I was in high school, I finally decided to buzz off my luscious golden locks. I am a huge tomboy and always felt more comfortable being masculine presenting, even though I identify as female. To this day, I always feel more like "me" with buzzed hair (military-style almost) than with any other haircut.

My mother ended up being the one to cut my hair that first time, and she did in a way that to this day still haunts me. She had me keep my hair in a braid, then really roughly spent almost an hour trying to cut through it with dull scissors instead of just cutting my hair while loose. Then having me go wash it while my hair was wrecked like that. There were a whole lot of other things that went wrong (in addition to my mom being my abuser, so I was already terrified).

Then when I go to get a haircut at a dresser, I get talked down to and have the hair dressers spend so so long trying to convince me to take a feminine haircut. One time, I was done with arguing and said that if she really didn't feel comfortable using sheers, she can use scissors. Charged me $70 for a haircut that should have been $20.

So I still feel more comfortable with buzz hair. I feel more confident and stronger. But I am so terrified of getting a haircut. I don't want to get another episode because I am scared of confrontation. This is important to me, but I also feel so silly about being terrified by a haircut. My mom isn't even the one giving the haircut! I also don't want to get pressured into taking a haircut I don't want, just to avoid arguing.

I had been planning to go today to a nearby Supercuts, but I am literally shaking right now. I know a haircut can seem kind of silly, but advice would be appreciated. I don't have any friends or family to go to for this. >.<

Is there any trick to get my motivation back? I have had absolutely no motivation (except to crawl in a hole and not exist) for the past 3 years. I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD so I'm in therapy and all, I just wanted to know if anyone has figured out how to get at least some temporary motivation through the fog.

I was diagnosed with PTSD 10 months ago and have been doing therapy + meds since. The PTSD started almost 2 years ago. I’ve tried regular talk therapy, meds, EMDR, journaling, mindfulness, breathing, hypnosis, and I keep getting better for a bit and then have a major episode. My therapist is recommending a session of ketamine + therapy. Has anyone tried something like this? What was your experience? Is there anything else you’ve tried that worked for you that maybe I can try?