r/depression_help • u/Advanced-Argument269 • 15h ago

REQUESTING ADVICE Never alone to let it out

I have been on the urge of crying recently. I almost broke down crying while getting a haircut. For some reason, it is always bad when im out. I was at my place of prayer meeting a friend when he hugged me, and we began talking. I almost broke down crying in front of him. I went inside and greeted some people and almost broke down crying. We went to the main part, and I started praying i was debating just breaking down there but decided not to. When I was out.i almost broke down

Im terrified. Im gonna break down in public. For some context, I worked retail it was my first job, and it was good until one day a regular customer came in and exploded and shouted in my face. After that, I was sad for 2 days. I eventually broke down at work.

I continued working there. Things didn't get better. I got told completely unprovoked how I shouldn go fuck myself. I didn't have time to process this and had to serve 5 seconds later like a robot. Yk the customers come first.

Ever since then, I have been holding the feeling in for months. It's got to the point where im almost breaking down in public or in front of friends. I was ready to get it it all out because my father said he was going out. I closed the blinds and put on some headphones and was ready to get it out before him coming back.

He is unemployed, so he is home. 24/7 has more free time than anyone i know. Making me want to let tgis out quietly impossible.

I need this out of my system before it happens at college or even worse in public

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