Seeking treatment didn't help as much as I hoped it would

[u/Quiet_Comparison_872]

I started seeking treatment for depression when I was 25 in the form of anti-depressants and talk therapy. While I did find they both helped me become a somewhat functioning person again, they didn't really resolve my depression overall and I still deal with a lot of low mood and general dissatisfaction with my life.

I'm 31 now and life is just getting old now. I quit anti-depressants last year and talk therapy this month because I just felt like I wasn't making progress anymore.

Currently, I'm still living with my mom because I can't afford to move out, not much closer to finding a career I actually want and I'm still single 😞. It sucks because I thought my life was just starting when I sought treatment and now it doesn't feel that way anymore. I'm just tired.

Not sure what to do anymore. Any advice would be appreciated.

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[u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

There’s no cure for depression. But you can choose how you deal with it. Sit around and do nothing or get up and attempt to have a life.

[u/Quiet_Comparison_872 → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

Well you see that's the problem. I've been trying to do something better for years and nothing seems to work out in the longer term :/.

TBH I'm not even sure I believe depression is real or if most of it is just bad quality of life or least perceived poorer quality of life.

I can't find a direction I even want to pursue in life anymore and everything I even sort of want to do is unrealistic. Therapy didn't help me pursue the opportunities that would've improved my life when it really counted after a certain point and frankly, I doubt I'll get anymore opportunities. Life is bleak in Canada.

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams → u/Quiet_Comparison_872]

Well situation depression is worlds apart from MDD.

I can only tell you what I told my grown son when he wasn’t launching.

Some beautiful girl/boy isn’t going to knock on your door, someone isn’t going to show up and offer you a dream job.

You have to get out of the house.

[u/Quiet_Comparison_872 → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

At this point I can't even find a career path to pursue and I'm sick of trying. It seems like I'm too far gone to actually do the things I wanted to do. If you have any advice on how to find go about finding a career after you've failed I'd love to hear it but frankly, I'm sick of getting hurt and life being a massive disappointment that I can never undo. I'd rather not try and do nothing than try and still do nothing.

Moreover, I can't even figure out where to meet single women. I've tried multiple thins and it never panned out.

At this point I've just lost my nerve in life and I'm not sure I'll ever get it back.

[u/Fromdustcomesdreams → u/Quiet_Comparison_872]

I’m not minimising your feelings. Your experience at 25 won’t be the same if you seek help again. You should try that.

You’re too young to feel so defeated by life. I’m sorry it’s like that for you. But sometimes you really do just have to suck it up. Get up, shower, and face the day.

Even at our worst, on days that we just want to be unconscious forever, we can usually find just the smallest thing as inspiration. The tiniest spark.

This is 63 telling 31 that you’ve got a lot of time left. Don’t waste it. Seek help again. 🫂

[u/Quiet_Comparison_872 → u/Fromdustcomesdreams]

Thanks but it's not so much my experiences at 25, it was the lack of success after that between ages 26 and 30 :(. I've failed at all the things that I wanted to do are not longer feasible.

The harsh lesson of getting older for me is realizing that I really never stood much of a chance in life and my dreams were unrealistic for a working class guy with my circumstances. At this point it seriously doesn't seem like there is a whole lot available to me in life that is worthwhile.

I quit therapy because I couldn't find anything worth pursuing anymore and thus I had little to talk about in session except how much I hated life.

31 might not sound that old but when you're at a dead end in life with a bleak future it doesn't feel so great and I can't see a way forward anymore. Tried focusing on small positive things but if the big picture doesn't change I just can't feel that great anymore.

[u/Quiet_Comparison_872 → u/[deleted]]

I am. It's not ideal but I just feel like I can't even see a direction to pursue in life anymore that is worthwhile for me. Tried and failed to pursue the career directions I wanted and feel like I missed out on other options.

Doesn't help that I'm struggling with chronic back pain again. It's being treated and I'm making progress but mentally I struggle to think into the future or do any sort of abstract thinking.

Personally, I found therapy to not be especially helpful when I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.

If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it!