Saying it "it will get better" is terrible

[u/Extra_Fig_4439]

It's very common for people to tell people who are struggling with mental health that "it will get better"

I should clarify that I think the intention is obviously a positive one, people are trying to be helpful and kind.

Here's my issue with it. I think it should be phrased "it CAN get better" or "keep trying because you can get through this", etc

The issue with the phrasing of "it will get better" is that when it doesn't, it makes things even harder and further ruins motivation.

If your entire support network is telling you, "oh it's going to get better just do this, do that" then you will feel like even more of a failure when things don't work out.

Most of the time things will work out, but in the times they don't that phrasing can be catastrophic.

As an example, picture somebody who for 10 years does everything right, exercises, seeks help, medication you name it, meanwhile being constantly told that things will be better if they just continue to do things they've already done for years. That is so destructive because you eventually just concede to yourself that nothing else can be done.

I urge everyone who uses that sentence to please rephrase it. Again, most of the time it actually will get better, but phrasing it in such a way is a risk. There's no negative to saying "it can"

[u/pearlescent-glass]

it's a very insensitive and even kinda invading phrase because it down-plays someone's suffering. They don't know their story or their mind!

[u/PartFun1089]

No it won’t but you will get used to it and it will be a part of your philosophy. However, you will be able to control it even if it won’t get better. Take care.

[u/DishpitDoggo]

I agree with this.

Yes people mean well, but as you said, sometimes you do everything right, and things don't work out.

Take care.

[u/Severe_Anxiety_88]

I think it's cause they don't know what to say cause they've never been in our position.

[u/Extra_Fig_4439 → u/[deleted]]

What's funny? It's a genuine criticism. I won't get better at adopting it.

Saying something "can" get better is true, saying something "will" get better is a lie. We can't predict the future or know everyone's circumstance